Heheh, betcha thought I wasn't coming back eh? Wellllllll.. For those who are wondering.. I've been working my way down that list I got from Santa and well, it took a bit longer than I expected. There was one place I went where the fella I was there to visit shouted, "Thank you Santa!" when he saw the paddle I was carrying and couldn't get his pants down fast enough.. Ah, well I ended up staying there a couple of days.. and ahh, nevermind the details...But he's a VERY naughty boy.
 
Oh, i've also gotten a message or three wondering what I was talking about when I mentioned golf on Yom Kippur. Let's see, Yom Kippur is the jewish day of atonement (One of the high holy days) and is spent in temple. Anyone of that faith who would play golf on that day would be very naughty indeed. Ah, it's not as funny if I have to explain the joke, eh but if you didn't get it the first time I guess it wasn't funny anyway. Nichevo.

I love that word, Nichevo. It's Russian and its English translation is something along the lines of, "There is nothing to be done about it" or something such as that.. OR, I suppose one can just say, "Whatever" and it kinda sorta means the same thing... Heh, Nichevo.


Right then, before I make that huge announcement of who I really am, I wish to post this disclaimer..

My intention when creating the UltimateDomme profile was simply to have some laughs by skewering some of the BDSM sacred cows, and generally have a bit of fun in the journals. The idea of a blog came along because I did not wish to violate any of CollarMe's rules for posting journals and it started to become clear to me I was getting close. (No, I never got a message from the admin of collarme telling me to cool it, I saw it quite on my own.)

So I created the blog where as I mention in the description I can take off the gloves and hit a little harder. I have no qualms about posting the name of someone for certain purposes, (Such as that SlaveTrasportCo dude)... And I make no apologies for doing so. As a point of interest, i've kept tabs on some of the profiles i've mentioned in a less than flattering way and there have been a significant amount of them who have changed their profile. Did they see this blog mayhap, or perhaps just realized how stupid they sound?

It was never my intention to deceive in any way. The profile I wrote for UltimateDomme is very clearly a joke and I as much as say right there that the picture isn't really me. It's really a little sad that there are those who did not see that the profile was a joke profile, but that's neither here nor there... Fuck, those are the ones I have the most fun with anyway LOL.

I never once led anyone on, and in fact anyone who tries to "get to know" UltimateDomme is simply told that beyond the profile and journal/blog.. she does not exist.

So you're wondering why i'd all of a sudden decide to remove the mask? Fuck I dunno really.. It's like KISS back in 1983..the whole idea of the makeup ran its course and they evolved.. Yeah, that worked out well for them seeing they decided,  "Fuck it" after 12 years of being just another band and put the makeup back on lol.. Ahh, i'm off point..

Now with that said, the person behind the UltimateDomme profile is... (Drumroll)



I am XxxxxxxXxxxx... Hold the fuck up..... No one found me yet. Find me on collar me under my real name and then i'll tell all. I gave you all a pretty good clue. :-P



So then, off to the profiles.. This is from a 34 dominant in South Carolina..

"4: Any and all slaves will be living full time 24/7 subs to me. They will be used any way I see fit with the intent to make a profit from them without prostituting them. I may make them suck any or everyone on command, but this will be a free gift from me to my customers. If I know the customers well and trust them I might have my sub/slave fuck them as long as my dick is kept happy anytime and all times.

5:Any and all slaves will be given a schedule of when and how every day(as a minimum) they will be required to suck and fuck."

As a point of interest, this guy read my blog and sent me a message basically agreeing with much of what is on my blog *eyeroll* If he only knew!

If you find this profile you will find that above list is 10 points with a further 4 detailing punishments and the "demerit" system he works on.

This profile has it all.... With the exception of anything at all that would actually qualify this moron to BE what he claims to be. He includes two photos in his pictures that are of a "coat of arms" and from reading all that he has to say it's pretty clear he spent more time creating those drawings than he's ever had actually dominating a submissive... At least in person and not online. 


Here's another.. sort of the same theme.. a 34 dominant in Texas

"Expect to be sore in your body and exhillarated in your heart and mind. Expect to be spanked and ravished often, and if you are lucky, impregnated. My requirements are simple. So pay close attention. I do not like repetition and punishments for disobedience are brutal.

I do NOT chat online with potential subs before I have your formal application. You do not get to ask to see the chairman of a company before applying for a job. So, why the disrespect here ? This is like a job ad. If you are serious, apply. I have about 10-15 respectful messages to go through any day. Which ones do you think I am going to spend my weekends on?"

This one goes on as well.. More of the same drivel.. Oh you've got to find and read this one.. He goes on to talk about his 9 1/2 incher.. Great stuff. The really funny part of this but is he says his monster cock isn't going to be the biggest thing going inside of you. I can only imagine what this guy has planned for some poor sub.

But guys seriously.. How many of you get 10-15 messages a day out of the blue from women seeking dominants?

This asshole posts a profile basically talking about how big his dick is, gives no information that would make you see him as anything but a misogynist, doesn't provide any sort of picture of himself, says he won't chat with anyone until he has your "formal application"... You see where this is going, eh?

You know, i'm not blind to the fact there are female subs and slaves out there that WOULD be attracted to a woman hater. It's just sad to me because the sort of people profiles like the above would attract are the sort of people that hate themselves, or have low self esteem. It's to me one of the dark sides of D/s-BDSM.


Over the past week or so i've gotten emails from someone who told me of becoming involved with a couple who were looking for a "beta" slave to join them. She told me that over the space of a few months they exchanged emails and did some chatting on Yahoo, and even talked on the phone some.
She planned a meeting with them and after said meeting was offered and she accepted a collar, after which she began to make the plans to move to be with her new master and sister slave.

This is when it all fell apart. When she moved,  (This was explained to me as packing 25-30 large boxes and filling a U-haul truck, along with arranging a transfer where she worked.) she was greeted with the news the alpha slave was no longer in the picture.

Upon reflection, and reviewing some of the Yahoo chats, she discovered both of them used the same typing style and tended to use the same turns of a phrase... etc. I was told she spoke to the woman once on the phone but when she visited the first time the woman was not there but she didn't think anything of that because that was planned.

What I mean is the guy wanted to spend a little time with her alone to evaluate how he and she were together before the three of them interacted together.

It turned out the so called "alpha" was in fact his sister and had been coached as to what to say to her when they'd spoken on the phone. She found this out when the sister called the house one day and she answered and recognized the voice.... oops.

Lucklily for our hero her bridges were not burned behind her so she was able to extract herself from the situation without too much difficulty. She had to stay in that city because of her job but got away from the dishonest man without getting too hurt.

Well, this is really nothing new. How many couple profiles do you see on CM where there are no pictures at all of the couple together? Yes there are many REAL couples but how many more are just like the above? Just as many i'd guess. I'm sure scammers like this have other little tricks to fool someone but you have to believe this would be no different than fake lesbians insofar as when it comes to face to face it's going to fall apart.



This next profile I really like... This is a 25 dominant in the UK.. and well, here it is..

"Here's my offer:

You will live with me
You will get your own space, my basement, which is currently just another bedroom.
You will stay in there unless I wish to use you elsewhere
You will be my slave and will be used for sex, punishment, torture and basically anything I feel like!

When you aren't being used you will be chained in the basement. I will leave the tv down there as long as you're a good girl.

I won't do you any permanent damage and limits will be respected to an extent.
You will get one chance every 2 months to permanently leave this deal. In between those times if you change your mind - TOUGH.

Why do I want this?
Sex on tap 24/7. End of. It's just like having Broadband/Sky.

What do you get out of this?
If you love sex and BDSM, you'll get loads!

However, if you don't then you'll also get £12,000 sterling for 10 months work. That's about minimum wage. You don't have to pay rent/bills/tax. Think about it, it's a decent offer.

Why 10 months?
I want you out of the way by Christmas so my family can come over."

LOL why do I like this profile? I don't know really.. But this cat is honest in a really funny way. Sex on tap 24/7.. Hehehe. And that, "I want you out of the way by Christmas so my family can come over.".. Priceless. 

Right fella, while you're keeping this slave/employee chained in the basement all day while you're at work just what do you think is going to happen if god forbid the house catches fire? I have a funny feeling when the fire investigators start poking about and find the charred remains of your little plaything and that chain they're going to start asking some uncomfortable questions... I have an even funnier feeling that they're not going to be buying your answers... And guess where your family will be visiting you at Christmas?

No really. Dude, unattended bondage? Very, VERY bad idea. If you really wanna do this you may need to make it to where the plaything is only chained up when you or someone else is actually home just in case. This is one of those times where I think it's a good idea to recommend some reading. SM 101.. Yeah, it's old but it just might do you some good.. Read it, learn it, live it.

I have my doubts that this cat would actually pay those 12,000 pounds.. But i'm gonna have to keep an eye on this profile just to see if and how this profile evolves.


Eh, not as much lulz as i'd like to go into one of my entries.. But it's been awhile since i've posted something and some of the natives are getting restless.

"Get on it woman!" is what I told just a few minutes ago :-P