Right then, I've seen some real interesting criteria from some people...

Some even make sense, such as an age range or a location range..You know things of that nature. Errr, but this one is a little out there.. One in particular doesn't wish to speak to anyone who happens to be a fan of the NFL team Pittsburgh Steelers, an unforgivable character flaw in this person's estimation.

Uh, yeah.... During the summer I was answering messages from people with another sort of interesting reason for not wishing to be their domme from the first message. There was one fella from Greece who messaged and wanted to serve me and my reply was one of disqualifcation..

Why? Oh it was because he lived in Greece and the day before Greece had just lost to South Korea 2-0 in the opening round of the 2010 World Cup. My reasoning was that I had no use for anyone who lived in a country without a decent football side.

I thought it was logical.... However my suitor from Greece thought that was a piss poor reason for not wanting him... He explained to me how Greece won the European Cup in 2008..And then he goes on to say the English side (The one he really supported as a point of interest) Was sure to crush the hapless American "soccer" team..... Yeah, yeah I know.. every country except the United States calls it football.
 
Eh, he had a point up until time the American team did not lose to England which served to validate my original point...

Yeah, still with me? That same bit also worked well for a fella from Australia, France and Italy.. (none of which advanced from the group stage) Of course when some moron from Spain messaged me I couldn't use that excuse because they won the competition.. eh, so I had to rely on something else.. That I wasn't interested in anyone who could message and and ask to serve me without knowing the first thing about me.

And that annoys me a lot. Not that it is not possible for it to happen, but if I (Or anyone) accepted a virtual stranger as a submissive just how long would you imagine this person is going to be staying around? No really, how long will it be before that person is out looking for someone else?
 
Actually I gave that bit up... errrrrrr because Ghana made it to the quarterfinals *smirk*


Here's one that makes you do a double take and then begin to say something but the forces of nature call you back from the brink. Well, maybe not that dramatic.. But this is a 57 female dominant in Florida.. and well, here's the first paragraph of the profile...

"Now hear this...I am a PRO Domme'...if it is not ready to run to the bank...do not go, any further. Take the time to read MY profile. Save us both some time... if I hear from one more want-a-be...I will hunt you down and beat you within an inch of your life, spit on you and call your wife or mother and have them come and get your no-good cheap, lying ass!"

Ummmmm, so here it is.. if the guy doesn't wanna run straight to the bank for you to pay you to be your pain slut.. (Yeah, that's something she says she wants..) You're uhhh gonna hunt him down and beat him to within an inch of his life... spit on him and then call his wife to come get him..

And this is going to deter those sort of folks how, exactly?  C'mon now.. if you're gonna make those sorts of threats.......Oh just nevermind!


Ah..... It never fails to send me into fits of laughter when someone messages me out of the blue to take issue with my profile.. I mean the profile part of it.. not the journal/blog..Seriously, i've actually considered putting, "Hey, this is a joke profile" on it... Only considered it mind you, too many lulz from the folks who don't get it.

This is a 60 female (trans) dominant in New York..You've probably seen this person, she has three profiles and for some reason I could not read her profile.. hidden? I thought so.  And this exchange ended with me being blocked.. so guess where my response will go?

"Plllllleeeease, Aperson does not go from slave to Domme in 6 months. Either you are Domme or slave I have been in this kifestyle 15 plus yrs and have enjoyed "breaking' young dommes like you as well as those of 25 yrs  that thought all their yrs they were Domme. My mentor many yrs ago was A old world German Domme and only had one thing to say, "You are born to be a domme or not" And she was so right."

Yeah, this is another of those old guard folks who just can't get past the fact things ain't what they used to be.... Gotta love the "old world German Domme" bit though.. More valid when it's German, yep yep. Oh of course I responded.. I know I know... I provoked her.. So sue me :-P

"Did you actually READ the profile and the corresponding journal/blog entries? I'll wager not since you seem to want to harp on the profile itself with your "old world" bullcrap... Let me give you a hint... the profile and blogs are satire.

But um, thank you for the note.. It was quite amusing. :)"

Yeah, anyone who reads my profile and tries to take issue with its validity is going to get a response like that. Heheh.... Of course I know that egos being what they are... I'm going to get a receipt.

"If you had bothered to look you would have seen that Mistress did read the profile and thus knows what she was saying.
As for young ones attempt at satire that is as you call it "bullcrap" just like your beliefs. when you have 15 yrs and countless slaves or subs that have served you then you have the right to contradict Miss.."

After I stopped giggling at the third person speak, I sent back this... I don't think I turned the screws... well not TOO much.. *Doe eyed innocent look*

"No, I didn't see anything of the sort seeing as your profile is hidden.. I'd not see where you viewed my profile. Anyway, from your words to me it was crystal clear you didn't get it.... All you saw were the words in the profile and THOUGHT you understood what you obviously did not. So you didn't get the humor, oh fucking well...LOL

As far as having the "right" to contradict you, (And who the fuck is this `miss' person anyway? I swear that third person speak is the most moronic drivel i've ever heard.) I have every right to contradict you, as well as every right to call an idiot what they are.

Anyway, what exactly has your panties in a bunch over my profile anyway? C'mon now, spit it out."

This clown was quick to go over the edge and block me. geeee...

"First of all My profile is not hidden, second contradict if you wish but you are wrong. Feel lucky that you are not close, I would teach you something about being respectful and doninant.
This is te last time for contact My time is worth more than this.
I have a slave that has to be milked and then trained, she knows what respect is.
                                               Mistress Jessica"

You've gotta love it, "if you were closer i'd do this and this and that.." Although she DID drop the third person speak in the last message so that's a plus... Geeeeeeee if i'm so wrong why not try to go over where you think i'm wrong instead of going all flaming queen and hitting the block button? After all isn't the idea of education rather a big one in the scene?

Anyway, the first message was clear, she took the profile serious and decided to take the time to message me and point out how it's not possible for someone to go from slave to domme in six months... And then of course her own resume' about her vast experience.. etc.

Really it never ceases to amaze me how those who have something pointed out to them they did not know can't get over their ego.. I mean afterall it's not HER fault she read a joke profile and didn't get it, err right? Instead of, "Oh, I misread that..." you gotta have a hissy fit? Go for it, but if you're stupid enough to not get it you're no match for someone like me... Why? because I have the advantage from the get go of knowing you're stooooopid.

                             
Here's a 55 dominant in Michigan.. He's well known in politcal circles and the clergy so he has disguised himself in his photo.. oooooo my!.... Here's a bit of his profile.

"My background in Psychology has taught me that whether the relationship is "vanilla" or alternative lifestyle, COMMUNICATION is the key to that successful relationship.  I have been in this lifestyle well over 20 years.  Never has a sub ever had to use a safeword."

Ahhhhh So it's a background in psychology that gives one the knowlege that communication is key, huh? And here I thought it was common knowledge as well as common sense.

This one pisses me off a little, though. Why is it so many people consider the actual usage of a safeword to be some sort of failure? Seriously, safewords are there for when SOMETHING IS WRONG.. It's not a badge of dishonor to have to use a safeword or have a sub use one on you.

Come on now, it's called a safeword... not a failword.
 
As for the above person, in over 20 years he's never had a submissive use a safeword on him... And he thinks it's some sort of accomplishment to be proud of... Maybe he thinks so, but based on his profile I don't...

I can think of three possible reasons why he's been able to accomplish this.

1- He's been very lucky to never have caught someone when their head for whatever reason wasn't totally in it. As much as some would like to think otherwise, submissives and slaves are human and what they may be able to handle today may be too much tomorrow. Physical limits or tolerance if you will are not static. (Doubt it)

2- His subs are the sort who see using a safeword as a failure and are afraid to use it when it SHOULD be used. This is really the saddest one of all, the submissive or slave who while they have a safeword the domimant will consider its usage a failure. (Don't think so)

3- He's too light. That he's never tried to explore limits and tried to expand on them. Guess what, when you do this the chances it is going to go too far on occasion greatly increase. That's one of the biggest thrills to many people, to be able to take a little more than they think they can... It has another name as well.. GROWTH... (Hmm, could be)

Hmmm, actually there's a 4th possible reason.. He's never had a real life submissive... errr... hmmmm.


This is a 34 dominant in New Jersey and his profile starts...

"I'm an asshole"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=no6-vsHgHJg

Eh, what can you say about someone who calls himself an asshole? He's probably a fucking sweetheart.... heheh.


Hmm, a couple of entries ago I posted about the guy who approached me on CM and wanted to talk on Yahoo if I were interested in his idea to make loads of money from financial domination with a dose of hypnosis thrown in to keep the sucker on the hook...

Here's one if you're a domme you've probably heard from.. The person's name is MistressRonna and when she approaches you, here's her line...

"Do you wish to work with us for $8,000-$12,000 per month, 2-3 hours a day as a finance online mistress?"

Heh, her fucking profile even says as much...

"I'm mistress Ronna from NY.
If you wish to make great $$ as an online or RT mistress you are wellcome to contact me.

female switch / sub you can feel free to contact me as well."

Heheheh.. the financial domme racket must be really rocking if these people are out recruiting dommes...
And then there's the 21 female domme in New York...

"On here to secure elite dommes for my network."

Elite dommes for her network huh?

And thennnnnnn.. one I just can't resist.. This is a 44 dominant in Japan.. And uhh.. well his profile is long and the cat is gorean.. but he's like for real, yanno? Not one of them pretend goreans or anything like that... Check this bit in his profile...

"Currently only seeking Goreans Who are interested in joining My Home which is online but All Family Members do practice Gor in real as much as real allows. Family resides in the USA, the UK, Canada and Japan "

An online family.. but they are all like for real and stuff, yeah. Umm, errr.. No, I don't have the heart to go on with this.. *giggle*


Here's an example of how easily one can become disillusioned about "no limits".. You know, when someone comes up with something you reflect upon and after careful consideration you decide that no, you can't do this... Errr, this is a 40 submissive in Missouri...

"i thought i was or at least trying to be a no limit pet.  however, after chatting with some on here, i realize now that i do have some limits.  i am a very sexual pet that needs her clit and wants to keep her breasts.  i don't mind dehumanization but i am afraid that those types of body modifications are currently a limit."

That MUST come as a shock when you start to realize the scope of "no limits".... Such as a 24 submissive in New York.. Apparently this profile is of a domme and a submissive.. but here..

"Ive talked to women and men here who said they would do anything and were all talk. Im a sick twisted non feeling socialpath bitch! Anything means anything get my drift read between the lines. And the girl on here calling herself snuffwhore is all talk! If you cant do as you say or have the stomach for it leave me alone!"

Of course this one has the word death in her name so you rather get the idea of what this one is all about, huh? *smirk*

Yeah it's been awhile.. i've not had as much time to get in there and hunt for the lulz... But i'm still around watching.. waiting.. :-)

I'm not afraid to be disagreed with, nor am I afraid of having someone take a shot at me.. In fact, if I see a good shot someone has taken at me i'll post it right here... It's just that i've yet to see anything of the sort.. Most of the negative feedback i've gotten has been of the "u suck" variety.. Until now.

This is that 24 dominant in Texas I mentioned in my last entry.. I made reference to the fact after we had the message exchange he viewed my profile several times. I didn't say it like that, but I was pretty sure he had at least an inkling of why I favorited his profile once he did so.

Well, hes fired back and here's his shot..

"Well there is a woman who tried to satire me. It doesn't bother me that she attempts this, it's funny. Nonetheless, she is apparently offended by the fact that I don't believe in female dominants. Well here's a news flash little woman, you taking offense won't change my views anymore than my writing this will cause you to stop your little satire blog.

I visited her profile to view her journal entries, no harm done, yet I notice she documented that I did so. To my knowledge there is no crime in viewing a profile and her commentary on the subject makes her seem a bit insecure, strange for someone who claims to be a dom of the highest order. I did message her asking why she added me to her favorite list, just out of curiousity and to ensure I didn't have a crazy stalker on my hands.To her credit she simply stated she wanted to be able to find it. Hey, that's fine with me, (although it wasn't @ first admittedly because random strangers adding me to their favorites is a bit peculiar and questionable.) Not so bothered now, especially since I have actually read her attempt at satire.
  
At the end of the day, we'll both go on with our lives regardless what we think of each other I'm sure."


There we go.. I'm not even going to escalate it... He was a bit off point as to what I was saying, I am not offended by those who don't believe in female dominants... Misogony on the other hand, offends me. 

Just call it, "equal time" if you will. I even messaged the guy and we had a civil conversation.


Hey, remember when I posted about the guy who was advertising a self castration? Welllllllll.. the lying fucker messaged me again last night asking if I wanted to watch him slice if off on camera.

*GASP!* The lying bastard didn't do as he promised before, and I was frankly offended that he did not keep his promise.. yeah!

Eh, here's what I told him when he messaged this to me.....

"wanna watch you watch me slice my cock for you "

"Ah ha!!!!  You offered that before and when I said no you said you were going to do it anyway!!! You big liar head!"

"no i sliced on it then.  now full removal"

"No, you're a big liar head.. you promised a self castration before and you didn't deliver.."


I'm not sure if anyone has noticed this yet, but a few months ago the people hailing from the country of Ghana disappeared. It's my understanding the country of Ghana was no longer a choice that could be made when starting a new account and selecting a country.

In the last couple of days however, i've noticed some profiles where the person is from the city of Accra... I saw one from Accra, Indiana, and then another from Accra, Guam.. In fact there are quite a few people on there from the city of Accra, but in different states/locations.

Of course Accra is in fact in Ghana so it leads me to wonder.. No, I don't wonder at all that they are back, I frankly expected it.. What I wonder is how stupid this person or people are to still use the city of Accra as a location?

Again, don't blame CM for this.. The scammers are always going to find a way.



Right then... Here's a 28 female dominant in New Jersey.. And let's see how many people can find the irony  in this one... first a paragraph of the profile..

"Quick note I changed my profile from switch to domme because I have been told even though I like to be tied up and fucked I am very strict and very dominate."

Right.. soaked it all in? Okay, let us continue with this journal entry.

"Looking for a young domme who would like to gain some knowledge and training. I would be your mentor. If Your interested please apply.

Guys it says DOMME. Which means female not male."

MmmHmm.. So, she joins the site on 1-1-11 as a switch, and the above journal was written on the 16th, so she became "domme" i'd say two weeks after joining.. yes yes?

Yes, Errr.. and now this brand new domme is looking to take on someone as their mentor?

And no no.. i've not even taken note of the fact she's used the oft used "dominate" when it should be dominant, but that does rather add to the overall irony of this one, eh?

Pssst, if it went over your head one who is a mentor is one with the experience and knowledge to pass along to someone without them.


Commercial time again.. This is the one where the rattlesnake is about to nail a rabbit and so up comes his rattle to mesmerize the shit of the rabbit before he strikes...... Except the rattle is a baby rattle.. You've seen it?

Yeah, so the rabbit sees this and starts laughing, calls over his friends and they are all rolling on the ground laughing at the snake with the baby rattle for a rattle, yes yes?

Uh huh.. I was kinda baked one night when this commercial came out and i'm sitting there going, "Dude, you're a fucking rattlesnake... Bite one of those fucking rabbits, they'll shut up!"

But nooooooo.. the silly rattlesnake retreats into his coils and hides his face because he's so embarassed.

Now, i'm envisioning an alternate version of that commercial.... While the rabbits are all laughing another snake would come up behind them and start quoting that pulp fiction shit..

"I will strike down upon thee with great vengence and furrrrrrriossssss anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers.."

Well you know the rest. This is when the new rattlesnake would just start zapping those silly laughing rabbits..

And then the two rattlesnakes would nip off for a spot of breakfast or a drink at the local snake tavern.

Hey! If a rabbit can laugh then a damned snake can make that quote!


Here's a profile I want to delve into and rip apart, and this profile is a prime example of someone wanting to both have his cake and eat it. (Actually, before one can in fact eat cake, one must first have said cake... Errrr...)

Anyway, this is a 45 dominant in Washington... and this is one who considers himself "Gorean".. Now, we've  seen some people who say they have adopted the ideals put forth in those books but don't follow them.. This cat takes things a little beyond that.. Wait.. here's the profile..

"IN THE BEGINNING....
I first found the books of Gor around the age of 9-10, but even younger than that my childhood games revolved around Dominance and submission, with the added spice of a little bondage thrown in. It was then that I first began considering myself to be "Of GOR", and at least with my closer acquaintances, going by the name of Xxxxxx. (and No, this does not mean that I believe myself to be On GOR, that would require far more imagination than I possess)"

Right, he realistically says that he does not believe himself ON Gor, cause he like doesn't have that much imagination. Yeah, okay.... 9 or 10 huh?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"WHO AM I....
I am the Assassin, the Healer, the Warrior, the Poet, the humble Peasant, the gallant Knight.... I am all of these things and so much more, no label can ever describe who I am, for I am not the man I was yesterday, nor am I yet the man I will be tomorrow. I am ever changing with each new experience in my life."

Now hold on! He simply does not have that sort of imagination!! What the fuck is this shit?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"GOREAN CASTE SYSTEM....
There is a multitude of Castes upon "Gor", some are glamorous, others not so much, although each is necessary to the survival and health of each City. Much like the jobs people work at here, some are covered in glory, others in garbage, each is necessary.
I identify best with the Caste of Assassin, for there are those in the world who richly deserve NOT to be in it. And it is the Assassin who is best trained to quietly target the guilty and eliminate the one without bringing harm to the innocent many."

So, he's an assassin is he? Does this mean he's a covert operative of the CIA or something like that, or just some geek who imagines himself some sort of noble assassin? I mean really, what vocation here in the real world is comparable to that of the assassin on Gor?

Would you like to know what makes an assassin effective? Other than being able to kill someone, it's that NO ONE KNOWS HE'S A FUCKING ASSASSIN!!! Errrr at least until it's too late to do anything about it. Those folks keep what they do secret.

As a point of interest, if you want some books about assassins you gotta read the Destroyer series about the continuing advertures of Remo Williams and his teacher/father Chiun and the glorious House of Sinanju.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"MY HOME STONE....
When I was around 13yo, I searched along the river near where I lived, it was there I found an oval stone. It was smooth, flat, and gray in color. I picked it up and took it home, and over the next few days, I etched into the stone the Mark of the Dagger. When I was finished I swore an oath....
Where so ever I shall reside, there I shall place this simple stone. That land, the buildings upon it, and those people who reside beside me shall be under my protection, and will be defended up to and including the use of lethal force.
An image of my Home Stone may be seen in my gallery, normally it rests in the bust of a Bald Eagle."

Yeah, his profile shows pictures of this. Now, I don't want to be the one say it.. but errrrr.. 13 years old? Dude, you found a fucking rock you thought was cool and went all mideval about it.

"And whosoever shall be found without the soul for getting down.. Must stand beside the hounds of hell... and rot... inside a corpse's shell."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"MY FAVORITE QUOTE....
If today I must die, let it be for a worthy cause, and may I be remembered as a man of Honor.
FAVORITE QUOTE FROM THE BOOKS....
"One of the pleasant things about owning a slave," I said, "is the opportunity to converse with her, listen to her, to hear her express herself, her feelings and ideas. One can learn much from a slave. Many slaves, like yourself, are highly intelligent. They can express themselves articulately, clearly, trenchantly and lyrically. It is a great pleasure to talk with them."
~Beasts of Gor - page 203~"

And here we have the seemingly required quote from one of those Gor books...

Here's my favorite quote..
"Can you imagine Armstrong being the first man on the sun? "One small step for man.. One.. OW! Shit!... OOOWWWW!!!'"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"DISCLAIMER….
Do not confuse the Gorean Philosophy with the "online gorean roleplay" which is so popular, there is a vast difference. Many people have never read the books of Gor, yet claim to dislike "Gorean Lifestyle" from seeing it role-played online. The "online gorean role-players" have no real accountability for their actions, so play it to the extreme like many RPG'rs did while playing Dungeons & Dragons in years past."

Now we're getting to the meat of this one.. This is familiar, the attempt to distance what they believe from the books, and the way this is practiced online... But then......

"Professor John Lange (aka Norman) wrote of a place of ideals, many of the details of Gor can be traced back to earth’s own distant past. But many have found a belief in the writings of "Gor" that resonates within their spirit. Is a belief in a fictional scenario that holds Honor, Integrity, and Strength in such high esteem such a bad thing to believe in? "Is the Bible written about factual events, or is it merely a great work of early Science Fiction, to give people something to believe in that is greater than themselves?"  You must decide for yourself.""

And here we are... An actual comparison with those who have adopted the bible as their core beliefs.. This more than anything I could ever say illustrates quite clearly that no matter how you try to distance yourself from it, there is no escape from the fact you and others like you have decided to pattern your life after those books written by your Professor John Lange (aka Norman)... Your bible as it were.

I know, I know, to each their own... But come on now, it's always worth a few giggles to see someone actually try to rationalize it. 

Here's some reallllll bad news for you Goreans.. What you do *IS* D/s.. and it *IS* BDSM... You might approach it from a different point of view, but while the names are changed the song remains the same. Have any of you ever wondered why BDSMers at a munch have a huge laugh whenever the subject of Gor comes up?

Seriously, we consider you Goreans that uncle who comes over for thanksgiving who always gets shit faced drunk and ends up vomiting on the pumpkin pie and passing out on the sofa. He's an embarassment, but he IS family..

Mmmkay then.. later my brothers and sisters.........