Just when I am thinking it is going to be at least a week before I will be able to post again I start getting a plethora of messages from people on CM directing me to specific profiles. Being the curious, nosy, and lulz hunting bitch I am; I of course had a look at those profiles and added them to my favorites list for further examination.
Yes, yes folks. If UltimateDomme on CollarMe has become an admirer of yours, it is NOT because I want to get to know you better. No, it's because i'm going to be having a close look at your profile to see if there is anything lulzworthy <-- one word, that's right... in there. Now, if you think you're going to slip that, "You don't have my permission to use my photos/words, so there" in your profile and it will keep you safe.. Think again.. that shit is public and there ain't a damn thing you can do about it.
*sweet smile*
So let's have a look at some of these profiles and see what sort of skeletons we can dig up. <-- Ya dig the halloween reference there?
We're going to ring that irony bell on this one. This is a 55 year old Dominant from France. In his profile he states...
"Incidentally, I've been around long enough to spot fakes a mile off. Like most people I can spot a studio shot, but unlike most I can also find the source of many stolen images. It used to be part of my job.
So don't bother contacting me if your profile uses stolen images, if it only has one studio image, however well cropped, or if you have no images on your profile and don't send one with your message."
Well, isn't that specialllllllllllll? Let's dig a little further into this profile and see what we can find, shall we?
If you view this guy's full profile, you find he has ONE friend. (Yay! A friend) His one friend is a 21 year old female switch also from France.
Mr "I can spot a fake a mile off's" friend is a very cute little blonde with pink highlights and she looks amazingly like Alexis Grace, the American Idol contestant. As a matter of fact the photo in this profile *IS* Alexis Grace..
I don't want to be the one to say it, but it's pretty ironic that someone who sends messages to those and has a go at them for weeding out fakes, (Yeah, you know who I mean.) and claims to be able to spot them a mile off gets fooled by someone using the photo of Alexis Grace and passing it off as herself. (Or himself mayhap? I'm also thinking they could be one inthe same person.)
This bud's for YOU, ya stoopid sumbitch. And listen to the irony bell ringing out loud.
Right then, on we go to the next contestant.. And this one I suspect is rather on the nefarious side, but I don't know for sure. I'll let you all decide that one.
This is a 19 year old female dominant in New York who says she has PerfectTits <-- hint hint.
"i get off on the idea that my perfect titties cause instant erections (and wetness). So i have decided to have a contest: Wank to my pictures and then send your description of it -- the more creative the better. AND I WILL MEET IN PERSON WITH THE WINNING ENTRY (assuming you can cum to New York) AND ALLOW YOU TO VIEW MY TITS IN PERSON AND WANK AND SQUIRT IN FRONT OF ME!
No further relationship: you will rent a motel room; I will show up (with my security); you will be on the bed and not allowed to step off it; I will be across the room. I will strip off my shirt and bra and you will masturbate. If you want to make me happy (rather than just making yourself happy), then you will eat your mess for me.
This contest will run until I have 50 stories in my journal. I and some of my friends will choose the winner. Girls can enter, too! Impress me to undress me!
And yes, my tits are 100 percent natural God-given."
I have a strange feeling that when someone finally "wins" this contest and they get that hotel in New York, a sexy blonde with the greatest tits in the world is not going to be the one who knocks on your door. No, I rather suspect you're going to be visited by a couple of gorillas who will do hurtful things to your body and empty your wallet for you. Now I don't know that for SURE, but I sure don't buy the crap that is in this profile. Or perhaps the person behind that profile is just looking for hot stories, who knows?
Oh and Miss PerfectTits? When God gave you those perfect titties he seems to have forgotten to get rid of those implant scars underneath them.
Right then, the next one on the docket is a 25 year old dominant from Saint Louis. Before I show you the selected paragragh for this guy's profile, I want to point out this cat claims to have been involved in the lifestyle "many years."
Yeah okay, here's the paragraph.
"I seek either a sub for few meets here and there or a full live/tpe slave. the sub/slave must being willing to push her limits , have some limits be punishments, and hard the hard limits not be crossed at all. I am a masochist, i like causing pain , although this is a plus in a sub/slave and i do seek this , I understand if you do not have a high level of pain . The sub/slave must have a brain and able to keep a conversation and my interest. I find there is to talk about the longer my interest will be how ever "drama" although OK to talk about is not good to talk about all the time."
Uhh, now maybe i've read this one's profile and missed something, but since when is someone who likes causing pain a masochist?
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say this guy is pretty much full of shit. what'cha think?
I've gained a fan of a certain fake lesbian. Well, not so much a fan as someone who has made it a point on two occasions to message me and tell me i'm FAKE!
Ohh noooooooooeesss.. Now, i'd have looked at her profile to see if there was anything funny contained within, but she has a blank profile aside from three pictures.. of at least two different people this one is presenting as being them. Now, Elvira85 is in the Netherlands so it's possible he doesn't understand English very well And doesn't get the fact that my profile is complete satire,(Told him three times) I don't know. But he's sure self righteous about having found my profile and it seems I am not telling the truth in it. *eyeroll*
What I don't get is why people voluntarily put their head in the lion's mouth. Really, if you send someone like me those sorts of messages i'm gonna layeth the smacketh down upon you. If you smellllllll what the.. Eh, nevermind.
I got a message from someone in the UK yesterday evening wondering what the fuck I was talking about when I mentioned Prop 19 in California.
What it is, is a measure to make the possession of up to an ounce of marijuana legal in that state. If it passes, it will certainly give a whole new meaning to the words of the song California Dreaming, eh?
Again, this is not a political statement other than to say it's a prop I am interested in seeing the results of. I'm going to make it point to keep my political beliefs out of this blog. I want this to be for entertainment only. :-P
TTFN.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
I must stand corrected to a degree.
Someone posted here that my forumla on bricks was off as I was adding 1/2 inch to each brick when it should have been 1/4 inch for all the bricks with the exception of the first and last brick which would have the extra 1/4 inch added.
Therefore using that formula the fake lesbian in question would be 5'1" or something like that in the picture. It still shoots the idea of 4'8" as is claimed in the profile right down the ole' commode.
So after further review from instant replay the fake lesbian is busted as called. The blogger is not charged with a timeout. To the one who posted about the bricks, good catch... Of course you can always go look at the profile and decide for yourself... :-)
On second thought, this Lazykitten changed the pictures on his profile and the new pictures are of a totally different woman.. Ummm, OOPS! On top of that, he took out the journal entry that claimed he was 4'8".. My suggestion to Lazykitten is to just start a new name LOL.
I'm going right to the profiles to find this excerpt from the profile of a 43 dominant in New York.
"My father was 3rd generation lifestyle Master and I was trained by him. Raised in an M/s-D/s family. I am a trained Master with over 20 years in the lifestyle. I do not endanger slaves/submissives. IF you are into pain I can give you the levels of pain you need."
Umm, third generation lifetsyle master and papa trained you? I wonder if that's a form of joining the family business? Hmm, well let's visit this for a moment, trained by his father eh?
If this was a M/s-D/s family and this cat was being trained by dear ole dad, who might we suppose he was being trained upon? Mom?.. Baby Sis?... the three slaves mom didn't know about? That's the kind of shit you see in those red covered paperbacks with titles such as "Chained Slave Mom" and others of that nature. (As a point of interest, there's a guy who posts hundreds of bondage photos a day in the alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.bondage newsgroup and every now and again one of the covers of those paperbacks finds it's way into the mix.)
When I hear someone say they were raised in an M/s family, I just have to wonder what sort of people would actually let their kids know about their "lifestyle."
"Gee dad, why does mom never sit on the sofa or at the dining room table?"
Here's one from a 28 female dominant in Indiana. This one is looking for an online male or female slave for webcam sessions.. Great.. To contact this person, you must follow her guidelines.. here's what she requrires...
"Msg me back with:
1. your skype \ yahoo name (skype is preferred over yahoo)
2. Pics of your face toys and NAKED body
3. list of toys (if you don't have any don't bother.
*** household items are not toys)"
What the fuck do you mean household items are not toys? Can you say lack of imagination? There isn't a BDSMer I know who cannot find many "scene" uses for a lot of household items, and many of them are obvious.. Clothespins, binder clips, those rods that you twist to open and close your blinds. Toothpaste, (Wonderful mild irritant) and other assorted cremes, salves and liniments. Ginger root, a ruler, a wooden spoon, a rolling pin....
And i'll just bet there are many many more. Household items are not toys? oh please!
Get off of my internet with that crap!
You've all seen those profiles and journal entries where the sub says that they are collared or something like that and if you wish to converse with her you must have her Master/Mistress's permission, yes?
So why does that bother you? I've seen a few journal entries where the guy gets quite offended that he would need someone elses permission to talk to someone. "Why, nobody tells me who I can talk to!"
No need to get your panties in a bunch, trooper. You go right ahead and message whomever you wish. But really, stop crying about it and don't be surprised when that sub who says you need her master's permission does not answer you. You might not need to do what he says, but SHE will.
Then there's the EVIL sonofabitch in Louisiana who says he's into REAL punishment, uh, singing the brady bunch theme song in a cajun accent. Okay cute...cute...
But the next line in his profile says if you don't think it's real punishment guess what song will not leave your mind?
YOU EVIL BASTARD!!!!
And his name is appropriately enough, punisher.
Now I need a song to get that one out of my head...let's see...
"So bring me my broadsword... And clear understanding... Give me my cross of gold.. as a talisman" <--- Jethro Tull. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W3RNdU2d0PY
Now, Fuck you and your damned Brady Bunch!!
On a more serious note, there have been some recent changes at CollarMe that are pretty positive. Has anyone noticed that when getting a message from some people there may be a warning on top of that message saying the user has been flagged as a spammer? I've gotten a few of these and it seems there have been other changes as well, not the least of which is the new message system with many options when sending a message.
As i've posted a few entires back, CM is of course aware of the scammers and spammers but the reality is there is really no way possible to keep them all off the site, any more than it was possible to keep them off of AOL, Yahoo chat or ANY other social networking site.
The bottom line is when you see a scammer on CM, don't blame CM for them being there. Report the scammer, and it's a good bet that person will disappear. Other than that, Caveat Emptor. It's the friggen internet after all. Remember the technology is neutral.
That'll do it for now. I'm not sure i'll be posting again before then, but next Tuesday, Nov 2 is the midterm elections in the USA. No politcal statement here other than VOTE!!
Although, i'm interested in seeing how Prop 19 does out in California.
Someone posted here that my forumla on bricks was off as I was adding 1/2 inch to each brick when it should have been 1/4 inch for all the bricks with the exception of the first and last brick which would have the extra 1/4 inch added.
Therefore using that formula the fake lesbian in question would be 5'1" or something like that in the picture. It still shoots the idea of 4'8" as is claimed in the profile right down the ole' commode.
So after further review from instant replay the fake lesbian is busted as called. The blogger is not charged with a timeout. To the one who posted about the bricks, good catch... Of course you can always go look at the profile and decide for yourself... :-)
On second thought, this Lazykitten changed the pictures on his profile and the new pictures are of a totally different woman.. Ummm, OOPS! On top of that, he took out the journal entry that claimed he was 4'8".. My suggestion to Lazykitten is to just start a new name LOL.
I'm going right to the profiles to find this excerpt from the profile of a 43 dominant in New York.
"My father was 3rd generation lifestyle Master and I was trained by him. Raised in an M/s-D/s family. I am a trained Master with over 20 years in the lifestyle. I do not endanger slaves/submissives. IF you are into pain I can give you the levels of pain you need."
Umm, third generation lifetsyle master and papa trained you? I wonder if that's a form of joining the family business? Hmm, well let's visit this for a moment, trained by his father eh?
If this was a M/s-D/s family and this cat was being trained by dear ole dad, who might we suppose he was being trained upon? Mom?.. Baby Sis?... the three slaves mom didn't know about? That's the kind of shit you see in those red covered paperbacks with titles such as "Chained Slave Mom" and others of that nature. (As a point of interest, there's a guy who posts hundreds of bondage photos a day in the alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.bondage newsgroup and every now and again one of the covers of those paperbacks finds it's way into the mix.)
When I hear someone say they were raised in an M/s family, I just have to wonder what sort of people would actually let their kids know about their "lifestyle."
"Gee dad, why does mom never sit on the sofa or at the dining room table?"
Here's one from a 28 female dominant in Indiana. This one is looking for an online male or female slave for webcam sessions.. Great.. To contact this person, you must follow her guidelines.. here's what she requrires...
"Msg me back with:
1. your skype \ yahoo name (skype is preferred over yahoo)
2. Pics of your face toys and NAKED body
3. list of toys (if you don't have any don't bother.
*** household items are not toys)"
What the fuck do you mean household items are not toys? Can you say lack of imagination? There isn't a BDSMer I know who cannot find many "scene" uses for a lot of household items, and many of them are obvious.. Clothespins, binder clips, those rods that you twist to open and close your blinds. Toothpaste, (Wonderful mild irritant) and other assorted cremes, salves and liniments. Ginger root, a ruler, a wooden spoon, a rolling pin....
And i'll just bet there are many many more. Household items are not toys? oh please!
Get off of my internet with that crap!
You've all seen those profiles and journal entries where the sub says that they are collared or something like that and if you wish to converse with her you must have her Master/Mistress's permission, yes?
So why does that bother you? I've seen a few journal entries where the guy gets quite offended that he would need someone elses permission to talk to someone. "Why, nobody tells me who I can talk to!"
No need to get your panties in a bunch, trooper. You go right ahead and message whomever you wish. But really, stop crying about it and don't be surprised when that sub who says you need her master's permission does not answer you. You might not need to do what he says, but SHE will.
Then there's the EVIL sonofabitch in Louisiana who says he's into REAL punishment, uh, singing the brady bunch theme song in a cajun accent. Okay cute...cute...
But the next line in his profile says if you don't think it's real punishment guess what song will not leave your mind?
YOU EVIL BASTARD!!!!
And his name is appropriately enough, punisher.
Now I need a song to get that one out of my head...let's see...
"So bring me my broadsword... And clear understanding... Give me my cross of gold.. as a talisman" <--- Jethro Tull. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W3RNdU2d0PY
Now, Fuck you and your damned Brady Bunch!!
On a more serious note, there have been some recent changes at CollarMe that are pretty positive. Has anyone noticed that when getting a message from some people there may be a warning on top of that message saying the user has been flagged as a spammer? I've gotten a few of these and it seems there have been other changes as well, not the least of which is the new message system with many options when sending a message.
As i've posted a few entires back, CM is of course aware of the scammers and spammers but the reality is there is really no way possible to keep them all off the site, any more than it was possible to keep them off of AOL, Yahoo chat or ANY other social networking site.
The bottom line is when you see a scammer on CM, don't blame CM for them being there. Report the scammer, and it's a good bet that person will disappear. Other than that, Caveat Emptor. It's the friggen internet after all. Remember the technology is neutral.
That'll do it for now. I'm not sure i'll be posting again before then, but next Tuesday, Nov 2 is the midterm elections in the USA. No politcal statement here other than VOTE!!
Although, i'm interested in seeing how Prop 19 does out in California.
Monday, October 18, 2010
I'm back!!
Heh, how many profiles have you seen on CM where that is the first line in the profile? It's as if they are some sort of hot commodity and now they're announcing to the CM world they have returned.
Ah reality on this? About 95 out of every 100 people who see your profile don't give a flying fuck if you're back or not. 4 out of the other 5 just think your pictures are hot and they will save them on their computers for future wanking... the 100th DOES care that you're back, but he's the one who wants to lock you in a cage and only pull you out to use you on occasion.
What I mean is you could have stayed away and no one would have cared. So you're back. Great, now go get me a fucking drink.
Picture wanking, can someone please explain to me the idea behind jacking off onto a picture and then taking a picture of that to post on some site? What is the thought process involved in doing this sort of thing? This is one I just don't get so anyone who can tell me, i'd um appreciate it.
Right then, this is going to seem nitpickish (Is nitpickish a word? If not, fuck you is is NOW!) but I was mining for gold a little while ago, (That means browsing profiles to find the lulz) and I saw the profile of a 23 year old lesbian submissive from Kentucky.
Yeah, the woman in these pictures is of course model quality and at least two of the shots are definitely professional because of the background. It's a fake of course but this one gives himself away in a very interesting manner. (Other than the usual model quality photos and the obesssive rambling about "no men", of course.)
The fake lesbian says he is 4'8" (two of the pictures are in a schoolgirl outfit, cute idea that one.) and in one photo this woman is bent at the knees sitting with her ass on the back of what looks to be a standard dining table chair.
I'm sitting here with the wheels turning in my head because this just didn't seem right. 4'8" should be WAY too short to be able to do this. Another photo has this woman standing against a brick wall. So I sought to measure her to see exactly how tall this woman is.
How did I do that you ask? Well, I whipped out my trusty tape measure and simply held it to the screen. No, I looked up what the dimensions are on a brick and discovered a standard american brick is 2 1/4 inches wide.(look it up if you don't believe me, LOL.) assuming this brick wall is made of standard american bricks adding 1/4 inch of mortar on each side of the brick to make them 2 3/4 inches apart..
Ya following me so far? Good... counting the bricks I find that this woman is 24 bricks tall (brick along with the mortar on each side) We come up with 24x2.75=66 or 5'6" tall. As a point of interest, the woman's knees were a little bent in this photo so she may be a little taller than 5'6". Either way, it's a FAR cry from the 4'8" this fake lesbian claims to be.
Hmm, so to that less than energetic baby feline (*coughlazykittencough*) from Muhammad Ali's hometown..(coughagainlouisvillecougcough*) You'reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee BUSTED!
I told you it was nitpickish, didn't I? But it's all for teh lulz.
The day after I posted my last entry I was confronted on CM by a gorean "warrior" and he took it upon himself to take me to task for something I said in my entry. Again the disclaimer that you cannot make this stuff up, but he tells me that Douglas Adams wrote fiction and it is "ludacris" <-- His spelling, not mine... to say I live my life based on his writing.
*Blank Stare*
Oh, he went on to berate me for saying what I did about gor and that I shouldn't speak about things I obviously do not understand.
Now, since I know he's reading my blog, here's my answer to this fine gorean warrior...
Are you really THAT fucking stupid? No, don't answer... But please.. PLEASE never get offline and procreate... mmmkay pal?
Right then, let's talk about the level of bisexualism that is known as "very bi" for a moment. What in the wide world of watersports is VERY BI anyway? I get bicurious.. yes I do, meaning you're staight but you just neverrrrrrrrr know what could happen under the right circumstances..
I also get the idea you're bisexual but you lean one way or the other, cool.
But what the fuck does it mean to be "VERY BI"? Either you go both ways or you do not... There ain't a whole lot of grey area on this one.
There are enough people reading my blog that you don't necessarily have to send ME something stupid for it to end up here. There have been quite a few occasions i've gotten messages from people who point me at a profile to have a look at or tell me of someone who sent them something they thought I might get a laugh out of.
One in particular simply fills me with so much delight to pass along to you all. I got a a message from a submissive woman that told of getting a message from some dom whose message was something along the lines of, "sorry for the late reply but I own two companies and am very busy, needless to say i'm interested in you."
Now, this submissive in her message to me told me she replied that she didn't remember exchanging any messages with this guy. She heard from him again over a week later....
HE SENT HER THE EXACT SAME MESSAGE A SECOND TIME!!
This guy's line of bullshit is to send people a prewritten messsage acting as if you've already been exchanging messages in hopes that person falls for it. That in of itself is funny, but to ME it's even more lulz worthy because this is the very same shitstain whom i've metioned on here as the guy who told me I was reported and that he knew the owner.
Oh hell yes, i'm going to enjoy this. If you'll recall me mentioning that this asshole's profile was this huge whine about fakes and the like? Good, good.
I've got to say it's more than a little ironic that this assclown uses a deceptive line of bullshit when he tries to chat up women with the profile he has.
So to masteronthecoast, your line of bullshit is beyond funny and even sad considering your self righteous profile. You're just plain pathetic.
See? You folks keep sending me those funny happenings and I just may post it on my blog.
A quick nimbus update... The person behind the name has sent me a couple of messages and has even posted a link on his blog to here.
He's had the latest of his names, nimbus7 deleted but in his email he told me people who are linking his blog are also having CM come down on them. Pretty interesting that, but we all know why they do this. CM doesn't allow blacklists, and give a pretty flimsy reason as to why, but whatever.
Anyway his blog can be found at http://collarmebusts.blogspot.com/
That's it for now, but i'll be backkkkkkkkkk.
Heh, how many profiles have you seen on CM where that is the first line in the profile? It's as if they are some sort of hot commodity and now they're announcing to the CM world they have returned.
Ah reality on this? About 95 out of every 100 people who see your profile don't give a flying fuck if you're back or not. 4 out of the other 5 just think your pictures are hot and they will save them on their computers for future wanking... the 100th DOES care that you're back, but he's the one who wants to lock you in a cage and only pull you out to use you on occasion.
What I mean is you could have stayed away and no one would have cared. So you're back. Great, now go get me a fucking drink.
Picture wanking, can someone please explain to me the idea behind jacking off onto a picture and then taking a picture of that to post on some site? What is the thought process involved in doing this sort of thing? This is one I just don't get so anyone who can tell me, i'd um appreciate it.
Right then, this is going to seem nitpickish (Is nitpickish a word? If not, fuck you is is NOW!) but I was mining for gold a little while ago, (That means browsing profiles to find the lulz) and I saw the profile of a 23 year old lesbian submissive from Kentucky.
Yeah, the woman in these pictures is of course model quality and at least two of the shots are definitely professional because of the background. It's a fake of course but this one gives himself away in a very interesting manner. (Other than the usual model quality photos and the obesssive rambling about "no men", of course.)
The fake lesbian says he is 4'8" (two of the pictures are in a schoolgirl outfit, cute idea that one.) and in one photo this woman is bent at the knees sitting with her ass on the back of what looks to be a standard dining table chair.
I'm sitting here with the wheels turning in my head because this just didn't seem right. 4'8" should be WAY too short to be able to do this. Another photo has this woman standing against a brick wall. So I sought to measure her to see exactly how tall this woman is.
How did I do that you ask? Well, I whipped out my trusty tape measure and simply held it to the screen. No, I looked up what the dimensions are on a brick and discovered a standard american brick is 2 1/4 inches wide.(look it up if you don't believe me, LOL.) assuming this brick wall is made of standard american bricks adding 1/4 inch of mortar on each side of the brick to make them 2 3/4 inches apart..
Ya following me so far? Good... counting the bricks I find that this woman is 24 bricks tall (brick along with the mortar on each side) We come up with 24x2.75=66 or 5'6" tall. As a point of interest, the woman's knees were a little bent in this photo so she may be a little taller than 5'6". Either way, it's a FAR cry from the 4'8" this fake lesbian claims to be.
Hmm, so to that less than energetic baby feline (*coughlazykittencough*) from Muhammad Ali's hometown..(coughagainlouisvillecougcough*) You'reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee BUSTED!
I told you it was nitpickish, didn't I? But it's all for teh lulz.
The day after I posted my last entry I was confronted on CM by a gorean "warrior" and he took it upon himself to take me to task for something I said in my entry. Again the disclaimer that you cannot make this stuff up, but he tells me that Douglas Adams wrote fiction and it is "ludacris" <-- His spelling, not mine... to say I live my life based on his writing.
*Blank Stare*
Oh, he went on to berate me for saying what I did about gor and that I shouldn't speak about things I obviously do not understand.
Now, since I know he's reading my blog, here's my answer to this fine gorean warrior...
Are you really THAT fucking stupid? No, don't answer... But please.. PLEASE never get offline and procreate... mmmkay pal?
Right then, let's talk about the level of bisexualism that is known as "very bi" for a moment. What in the wide world of watersports is VERY BI anyway? I get bicurious.. yes I do, meaning you're staight but you just neverrrrrrrrr know what could happen under the right circumstances..
I also get the idea you're bisexual but you lean one way or the other, cool.
But what the fuck does it mean to be "VERY BI"? Either you go both ways or you do not... There ain't a whole lot of grey area on this one.
There are enough people reading my blog that you don't necessarily have to send ME something stupid for it to end up here. There have been quite a few occasions i've gotten messages from people who point me at a profile to have a look at or tell me of someone who sent them something they thought I might get a laugh out of.
One in particular simply fills me with so much delight to pass along to you all. I got a a message from a submissive woman that told of getting a message from some dom whose message was something along the lines of, "sorry for the late reply but I own two companies and am very busy, needless to say i'm interested in you."
Now, this submissive in her message to me told me she replied that she didn't remember exchanging any messages with this guy. She heard from him again over a week later....
HE SENT HER THE EXACT SAME MESSAGE A SECOND TIME!!
This guy's line of bullshit is to send people a prewritten messsage acting as if you've already been exchanging messages in hopes that person falls for it. That in of itself is funny, but to ME it's even more lulz worthy because this is the very same shitstain whom i've metioned on here as the guy who told me I was reported and that he knew the owner.
Oh hell yes, i'm going to enjoy this. If you'll recall me mentioning that this asshole's profile was this huge whine about fakes and the like? Good, good.
I've got to say it's more than a little ironic that this assclown uses a deceptive line of bullshit when he tries to chat up women with the profile he has.
So to masteronthecoast, your line of bullshit is beyond funny and even sad considering your self righteous profile. You're just plain pathetic.
See? You folks keep sending me those funny happenings and I just may post it on my blog.
A quick nimbus update... The person behind the name has sent me a couple of messages and has even posted a link on his blog to here.
He's had the latest of his names, nimbus7 deleted but in his email he told me people who are linking his blog are also having CM come down on them. Pretty interesting that, but we all know why they do this. CM doesn't allow blacklists, and give a pretty flimsy reason as to why, but whatever.
Anyway his blog can be found at http://collarmebusts.blogspot.com/
That's it for now, but i'll be backkkkkkkkkk.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Poor Chuck, I know you all are dying to hear about him since i've not spoke of the poor guy for a long time.
Well as you know, he's a cocktail waitress at the Silver Slipper Casino. He was trying to be promoted from the 25 cent slots to the higher dollar tables but his supervisor said he didn't have the right look.
I'm a little biased, once he's tarted up with the right amount of makeup, I think he's pretty cute but apparently they don't want their waitresses looking too slutty. he came home last night in tears with his mascara running down his face.
He told me he was going to quit working there and move back to his parent's house. He was going on about something involving WOW but I couldn't quite make it out through his sobs. It was really a sad sight to see, oh well.
So, I have a serious question for you all if you care to answer. You men and women who make these mean and serious looking faces in your profile pics, umm what are you trying to accomplish there? I swear I pull up some of these profiles and I expect to hear growling coming out of the speakers.
"Grrr.. I'm a mean and nasty sadist.. I will hurt joo!"
And when I see profiles where people are going on about respect and all that stuff yet in their pics is a picture of this guy or gal flipping the bird at the camera. What the fuck is that all about?
I mean really now, what message are you trying to convey to the potential submissive when you post these mean looking pictures? I don't mind being the one to tell you they do not make you look more like a dominant, they make you look silly as hell... Just sayin'!
So what's wrong with this picture? The profile of a 41 female submissive from West Virginia states she is just looking for the owner of her soul. Okay, but the profile picture is a picture of her ass....
Mmmkay then. I'm not sure I want to even think about that one too long.
On to this post's spotlighted fake lesbian.... (I think I need a theme song for this segment, hmm.. I got one.. "Men in Tights" from that silly Mel Brooks Movie.
"We're mennn.. we're men in tiii--iiights.."
Yeah, uh right then, on with the segment.
"We're Butch!" *giggle* Okay okay, on with it then.
Today we shine the bright glare of the spotlights upon MsJailbird1 (Apparently the original MsJailbird got deleted, hmm.) Well, Here's the profile..
"I am a very dominant woman. I did time in prison and dominated women inside and owned women inside. I am looking to own women. NO MEN. I will control you every second of the day. I currently own slaves now and am looking to add more. WOMEN ONLY NO MEN. this will be total control and long term. Message ME if interested"
Now, I know I've seen the picture of this snarling bitch on the news... I just can't place it. Maybe one of you can look at this loser's profile and tell me who this woman is in that picture.
Oh yes, for all you contract totin' dommes.. psst, could be your roommate, never know.
Right then, now that she's out she wants some slaves on the outside to control every second of the day. Oh dear, and this will be total control for long term..
Wait, time out here..
Long term eh? Now you just KNOW "long term" will have to be put on indefinite hold when this waste of space fucks up again and gets sent back to the big house. And what'cha wanna bet part of the "control" will be to send the slaves out to do shit like rob liquor stores and stuff like that?
Now, as an aside...Notice that in this 4 lines of profile, the fake lesbian felt the need to say on two different occasions "No men".. And in ALL CAPS to make it stand out even more. Apparently the level of one's lesbianism is determined by how many times in their profile they say, "no men"
Soooooo.. to MsJailbird1.. Saaaaaaaaaa Luttteeeeeeeee!
Hmm, apparently submissive women don't have a monopoly on posting how they will be leaving the site on a certain day, and of course they get all sorts of new attention which is what they are seeking in the first place.
Well, i've seen the profile of a domme who has pulled the very same thing. First she posts in her profile and journals that she is leaving on Sunday.. Then on Friday or so she started to hedge, saying that while she was still leaning toward leaving, she was getting plenty of messages that are making her possibly have second thoughts.
Lo and behold on Sunday her profile and journal states she has indeed changed her mind and has decided to stay on CM for a bit. However, she then pulls the "I'm a DOMME" card and makes it clear she isn't interested in what anyone thinks about it, she is staying purely for her own amusement.
Uh huh, MsMere you probably should go ahead and leave... A domme who can't make a decision and stick to it is pretty weak willed and likely will mistreat some sub down the line by allowing them to walk all over you. Do yourself and the entire CM community a great favor and /delete.
And just when I think i'm starting to run out of material someone drops one of those gold nuggets right into my lap. This is a message I got out of the blue from a 26 dominant in Texas.
"Greetings, You have a very puzzling profile. I wonder how dominant you truly are, as you have yourself listed as a switch. I must also think that you still do submit, but it would take a very dominant individual to inspire you to do such. I started in the lifestyle at the age of 13 myself researching, and then ventured to RL at 16. I would be interested in talking with you and having some mutual brain picking."
Welllllllll.. you know how they say curiosity killed the cat? This kitty just HAD to read the profile that belonged to those words and there is a gem and half in there.. Here's a paragraph.
"Over the last few months, I have been warring with myself over this. It seems the gorean in me just wont quit, so unless you think you can submit to a gorean man, it is best you dont message me."
I know, I know, I said I wasn't going to have a go at the goreans but c'mon now, you really don't expect me to just let this one go untouched now do you? Really, if someone wants to base his or her life on those gor novels, who am I to say anything?
But people, come on now. In College that John Norman fella tried to score with a few coeds and they shot him down. So what does he do? Writes up a book where he creates a world where those very same coeds cannot turn him down, and Viola!!! Gor is born.
You can twist and turn it any way you like, you can go on about how you follow the principles of gor and are not really following the books...(Some even say gor is based on Victorian England) No matter how you twist it you're living your life based on the poorly written Conan meets Star Trek called the gor novels.. How many were there, 25 or so?
Anyway, i'm not one to talk since I live my life to the teachings of Douglas Adams. Learning to fly is as simple as throwing yourself to the ground and somehow managing to miss. This is one gorean who has have never failed to miss, I think.
ANYWAY!!!!... I sent this guy back a reply.. Oh come now, you know I had to do it.
"You might just want to take a LITTLE closer of a look at my profile. It's pure satire. Heheh, the gorean in you huh? LOL, too funny."
JUST after sending this message that "who's viewing you" turned red and sure enough our gorean hero looked at my profile. Here's what he sent back. *giggle*
"ahhhh, well have fun making fun of people!"
I tried to send him back a comforting letter explaining that while I know it must hurt pretty bad to get hit with the stupid stick that hard, he should take comfort and learn from this experience... READ THE FUCKING PROFILE BEFORE YOU WHIP OUT YOUR E-PEEN AND TRY TO PLAY DOM ON THE INTERNET! You just never know what little bits of information you can gleen from doing so.. Ya jackass.
Alas, he had me blocked so my heartfelt attempt to help this poor soul did not get through. I'm sure if he reads this his ego will demand he respond in some way, and then i'll have moar lulz to post here. :-)
For now I must fly.. Weeeee.. OW!!! shit.. failed to miss again.
Well as you know, he's a cocktail waitress at the Silver Slipper Casino. He was trying to be promoted from the 25 cent slots to the higher dollar tables but his supervisor said he didn't have the right look.
I'm a little biased, once he's tarted up with the right amount of makeup, I think he's pretty cute but apparently they don't want their waitresses looking too slutty. he came home last night in tears with his mascara running down his face.
He told me he was going to quit working there and move back to his parent's house. He was going on about something involving WOW but I couldn't quite make it out through his sobs. It was really a sad sight to see, oh well.
So, I have a serious question for you all if you care to answer. You men and women who make these mean and serious looking faces in your profile pics, umm what are you trying to accomplish there? I swear I pull up some of these profiles and I expect to hear growling coming out of the speakers.
"Grrr.. I'm a mean and nasty sadist.. I will hurt joo!"
And when I see profiles where people are going on about respect and all that stuff yet in their pics is a picture of this guy or gal flipping the bird at the camera. What the fuck is that all about?
I mean really now, what message are you trying to convey to the potential submissive when you post these mean looking pictures? I don't mind being the one to tell you they do not make you look more like a dominant, they make you look silly as hell... Just sayin'!
So what's wrong with this picture? The profile of a 41 female submissive from West Virginia states she is just looking for the owner of her soul. Okay, but the profile picture is a picture of her ass....
Mmmkay then. I'm not sure I want to even think about that one too long.
On to this post's spotlighted fake lesbian.... (I think I need a theme song for this segment, hmm.. I got one.. "Men in Tights" from that silly Mel Brooks Movie.
"We're mennn.. we're men in tiii--iiights.."
Yeah, uh right then, on with the segment.
"We're Butch!" *giggle* Okay okay, on with it then.
Today we shine the bright glare of the spotlights upon MsJailbird1 (Apparently the original MsJailbird got deleted, hmm.) Well, Here's the profile..
"I am a very dominant woman. I did time in prison and dominated women inside and owned women inside. I am looking to own women. NO MEN. I will control you every second of the day. I currently own slaves now and am looking to add more. WOMEN ONLY NO MEN. this will be total control and long term. Message ME if interested"
Now, I know I've seen the picture of this snarling bitch on the news... I just can't place it. Maybe one of you can look at this loser's profile and tell me who this woman is in that picture.
Oh yes, for all you contract totin' dommes.. psst, could be your roommate, never know.
Right then, now that she's out she wants some slaves on the outside to control every second of the day. Oh dear, and this will be total control for long term..
Wait, time out here..
Long term eh? Now you just KNOW "long term" will have to be put on indefinite hold when this waste of space fucks up again and gets sent back to the big house. And what'cha wanna bet part of the "control" will be to send the slaves out to do shit like rob liquor stores and stuff like that?
Now, as an aside...Notice that in this 4 lines of profile, the fake lesbian felt the need to say on two different occasions "No men".. And in ALL CAPS to make it stand out even more. Apparently the level of one's lesbianism is determined by how many times in their profile they say, "no men"
Soooooo.. to MsJailbird1.. Saaaaaaaaaa Luttteeeeeeeee!
Hmm, apparently submissive women don't have a monopoly on posting how they will be leaving the site on a certain day, and of course they get all sorts of new attention which is what they are seeking in the first place.
Well, i've seen the profile of a domme who has pulled the very same thing. First she posts in her profile and journals that she is leaving on Sunday.. Then on Friday or so she started to hedge, saying that while she was still leaning toward leaving, she was getting plenty of messages that are making her possibly have second thoughts.
Lo and behold on Sunday her profile and journal states she has indeed changed her mind and has decided to stay on CM for a bit. However, she then pulls the "I'm a DOMME" card and makes it clear she isn't interested in what anyone thinks about it, she is staying purely for her own amusement.
Uh huh, MsMere you probably should go ahead and leave... A domme who can't make a decision and stick to it is pretty weak willed and likely will mistreat some sub down the line by allowing them to walk all over you. Do yourself and the entire CM community a great favor and /delete.
And just when I think i'm starting to run out of material someone drops one of those gold nuggets right into my lap. This is a message I got out of the blue from a 26 dominant in Texas.
"Greetings, You have a very puzzling profile. I wonder how dominant you truly are, as you have yourself listed as a switch. I must also think that you still do submit, but it would take a very dominant individual to inspire you to do such. I started in the lifestyle at the age of 13 myself researching, and then ventured to RL at 16. I would be interested in talking with you and having some mutual brain picking."
Welllllllll.. you know how they say curiosity killed the cat? This kitty just HAD to read the profile that belonged to those words and there is a gem and half in there.. Here's a paragraph.
"Over the last few months, I have been warring with myself over this. It seems the gorean in me just wont quit, so unless you think you can submit to a gorean man, it is best you dont message me."
I know, I know, I said I wasn't going to have a go at the goreans but c'mon now, you really don't expect me to just let this one go untouched now do you? Really, if someone wants to base his or her life on those gor novels, who am I to say anything?
But people, come on now. In College that John Norman fella tried to score with a few coeds and they shot him down. So what does he do? Writes up a book where he creates a world where those very same coeds cannot turn him down, and Viola!!! Gor is born.
You can twist and turn it any way you like, you can go on about how you follow the principles of gor and are not really following the books...(Some even say gor is based on Victorian England) No matter how you twist it you're living your life based on the poorly written Conan meets Star Trek called the gor novels.. How many were there, 25 or so?
Anyway, i'm not one to talk since I live my life to the teachings of Douglas Adams. Learning to fly is as simple as throwing yourself to the ground and somehow managing to miss. This is one gorean who has have never failed to miss, I think.
ANYWAY!!!!... I sent this guy back a reply.. Oh come now, you know I had to do it.
"You might just want to take a LITTLE closer of a look at my profile. It's pure satire. Heheh, the gorean in you huh? LOL, too funny."
JUST after sending this message that "who's viewing you" turned red and sure enough our gorean hero looked at my profile. Here's what he sent back. *giggle*
"ahhhh, well have fun making fun of people!"
I tried to send him back a comforting letter explaining that while I know it must hurt pretty bad to get hit with the stupid stick that hard, he should take comfort and learn from this experience... READ THE FUCKING PROFILE BEFORE YOU WHIP OUT YOUR E-PEEN AND TRY TO PLAY DOM ON THE INTERNET! You just never know what little bits of information you can gleen from doing so.. Ya jackass.
Alas, he had me blocked so my heartfelt attempt to help this poor soul did not get through. I'm sure if he reads this his ego will demand he respond in some way, and then i'll have moar lulz to post here. :-)
For now I must fly.. Weeeee.. OW!!! shit.. failed to miss again.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Hello hello hello, what a wonderful word.. hello...
Oh, ahem.. Err hiya folks, i'm back and and always I have some funny stuff to talk about. Well, at least I think it's funny.
In my own profile I speak of spending time at the chateau of a European and an Asian master. A lot of people didn't get that as a joke but many of you did. In some circles, it is held that BDSM as practiced in Europe or Asia is more umm, valid than the way it is practiced in the United States, older culture maybe? Here's an excerpt from the profile of a 49 Floridan dominant.
"I have been involved in this since I was 16 years old first playing then all out life.
I spent a few years in Germany learning the old ways and learning about my self.
During this time I found myself growing as I was learning to train subs for others.."
Now can anyone tell me exactly what "old ways" one can learn in Germany in particular? No, I know the place doesn't matter but this guy (among others) seems to hold to the idea the place DOES matter.
Color me nutty, but how exactly did the country of Germany get the reputation among some BDSMers as being the mecca of the practice? think about that one for a minute, what happened in Germany that could have given people this impression? Makes you wonder, doesn't it?
The funny part of that bit was the part of training subs for others. Now tell me, what self respecting dominant would ever have another train his or her sub for them? Come on now, how many dominants would encounter a sub who says they have been extensively trained and say, "well you don't need further training."
Yeah right, much more likely is, "Oh already trained huh? Cool, but i'm going to train you MY way. Now take your clothes off and bend over that chair." Besides, does "training" ever actually end?
Training subs for others, huh? Umm, you folks DO know the Story of O was fiction, yes?
Today, i'm going to start a new feature, i'm going to spotlight a different fake lesbian each new posting and have a laugh or three with their profile.
Today's spotlighted fake lesbian is DommeMelissa and SlavG. This one takes a bit of explaining to get to the funny stuff. First, Melissa found her love via CM in the person of SlavG who was on the east coast, while Melissa is on the west coast. As time passed, SlavG eventually moves to the west coast to be with DommeMelissa forever.
It's a classic love story, now they have each other's pictures in their profile and it's a true match made in heaven for these lovebirds..(We don't even need to ask why there are no pictures of them together, do we?)
But a closer look at each of their profiles reveals the shocking revelation that both profiles are written in the same writing style. (GASP!) So what we have here is a fake lesbian who has created a second profile to be her slave. I don't know, this takes a special brand of failsauce to come up with that idea.
So to DommeMelissa/SlavG.. Saaaaaaaaaaaa LUTE!
Speaking of saluting, I hold the men and women who have put on the uniform of their country's military in high regard. It personally offends me to see people on these social networking sites bragging about being in some war and they use it to do what...? score with women. Fuck you slime balls lying about being involved in some war. I saw one profile where the woman has called out some lowlife assmuncher for using the photo of someone who died in Iraq in service to his country. If I ever see that profile again I promise you I will post the scum's name on my blog.
I wish to point you all in the direction of the profile written by naturallydomguy. He has a journal entry that tells what people who have REALLY been in war feel and think. Read what this guy has to say and you'll see what I mean.
There was a profile of one male submissive and I don't remember who it was, but in it he says that he thinks he would be a good online slave. Taken at face value that seems reasonable, but when you really think about it anyone who can string a proper sentence together can be a good online slave.
No, hear me out here. How much does it take to type, "This worthless slave kneels at the feet of its beautiful Mistress and smiles contentedly." while said Mistress sits in an imaginary chair and congratulates herself for choosing to be a domme? I mean what sort of skills does it take to kneel in front of imaginary furniture in a chatroom?
Creative writing? Okay then.
Contracts and their use in BDSM relationships. You've seen the profiles of those who say a contract will be involved if you become their submissive/slave. They hold to the idea a contract is legally binding for the term specified in said contract. So there would be no hope of release for the slave no matter what as long as the contract is in place.
This is the worst kind of all kinds of bullshit. If a slave wishes to leave and is prevented from doing so, it is called kidnapping and illegal imprisonment and guess who is going to get themselves a REAL no hope of release for the term of the contract sort of deal? Yep, the slave owner is going to get himself a new roommate named Big Bubba or Bertha. Don't forget to tell your new roommate that you're a Dom/me now, you wouldn't want them taking liberties now would you?
If you are a slave who is under a contract and you no longer wish to be there.. LEAVE. Don't listen to any of that bullshit honor bound or legally bound nonsense. If you want to leave why do you give a fuck if the person you wish to leave thinks you are less than honorable?
If you are naive or stupid enough to believe that contract is legally binding then let us hope you come to your senses sooner rather than later.
So if some Dom/me tells you about a contact and tries to tell you that it is legally binding, you tell them they're lying their ass off. If they really believe it, educate the ignorant fools.
Ah, back to the profiles and let's see how high we can get on the irony meter on this one.. This is a 28 year old Dom from Connecticut. Let us go right to the jounral entries to find posted on 7-16-10..
"I was told I was mediocre and stupid. Imagine that some spoiled little shit thinking she is better than me. FUCK OFF"
Oh dear me, dear me. He reacted quite strongly to being called mediocre and stupid, didn't he just?
Well, let's ring the old irony bell now. This is his journal entry on 8-17-10
"Your Welcome"
Ding!!
Oh well, i'm done for now. I want to thank those who have mentioned me in their profiles, it's much appreciated.
Oh, ahem.. Err hiya folks, i'm back and and always I have some funny stuff to talk about. Well, at least I think it's funny.
In my own profile I speak of spending time at the chateau of a European and an Asian master. A lot of people didn't get that as a joke but many of you did. In some circles, it is held that BDSM as practiced in Europe or Asia is more umm, valid than the way it is practiced in the United States, older culture maybe? Here's an excerpt from the profile of a 49 Floridan dominant.
"I have been involved in this since I was 16 years old first playing then all out life.
I spent a few years in Germany learning the old ways and learning about my self.
During this time I found myself growing as I was learning to train subs for others.."
Now can anyone tell me exactly what "old ways" one can learn in Germany in particular? No, I know the place doesn't matter but this guy (among others) seems to hold to the idea the place DOES matter.
Color me nutty, but how exactly did the country of Germany get the reputation among some BDSMers as being the mecca of the practice? think about that one for a minute, what happened in Germany that could have given people this impression? Makes you wonder, doesn't it?
The funny part of that bit was the part of training subs for others. Now tell me, what self respecting dominant would ever have another train his or her sub for them? Come on now, how many dominants would encounter a sub who says they have been extensively trained and say, "well you don't need further training."
Yeah right, much more likely is, "Oh already trained huh? Cool, but i'm going to train you MY way. Now take your clothes off and bend over that chair." Besides, does "training" ever actually end?
Training subs for others, huh? Umm, you folks DO know the Story of O was fiction, yes?
Today, i'm going to start a new feature, i'm going to spotlight a different fake lesbian each new posting and have a laugh or three with their profile.
Today's spotlighted fake lesbian is DommeMelissa and SlavG. This one takes a bit of explaining to get to the funny stuff. First, Melissa found her love via CM in the person of SlavG who was on the east coast, while Melissa is on the west coast. As time passed, SlavG eventually moves to the west coast to be with DommeMelissa forever.
It's a classic love story, now they have each other's pictures in their profile and it's a true match made in heaven for these lovebirds..(We don't even need to ask why there are no pictures of them together, do we?)
But a closer look at each of their profiles reveals the shocking revelation that both profiles are written in the same writing style. (GASP!) So what we have here is a fake lesbian who has created a second profile to be her slave. I don't know, this takes a special brand of failsauce to come up with that idea.
So to DommeMelissa/SlavG.. Saaaaaaaaaaaa LUTE!
Speaking of saluting, I hold the men and women who have put on the uniform of their country's military in high regard. It personally offends me to see people on these social networking sites bragging about being in some war and they use it to do what...? score with women. Fuck you slime balls lying about being involved in some war. I saw one profile where the woman has called out some lowlife assmuncher for using the photo of someone who died in Iraq in service to his country. If I ever see that profile again I promise you I will post the scum's name on my blog.
I wish to point you all in the direction of the profile written by naturallydomguy. He has a journal entry that tells what people who have REALLY been in war feel and think. Read what this guy has to say and you'll see what I mean.
There was a profile of one male submissive and I don't remember who it was, but in it he says that he thinks he would be a good online slave. Taken at face value that seems reasonable, but when you really think about it anyone who can string a proper sentence together can be a good online slave.
No, hear me out here. How much does it take to type, "This worthless slave kneels at the feet of its beautiful Mistress and smiles contentedly." while said Mistress sits in an imaginary chair and congratulates herself for choosing to be a domme? I mean what sort of skills does it take to kneel in front of imaginary furniture in a chatroom?
Creative writing? Okay then.
Contracts and their use in BDSM relationships. You've seen the profiles of those who say a contract will be involved if you become their submissive/slave. They hold to the idea a contract is legally binding for the term specified in said contract. So there would be no hope of release for the slave no matter what as long as the contract is in place.
This is the worst kind of all kinds of bullshit. If a slave wishes to leave and is prevented from doing so, it is called kidnapping and illegal imprisonment and guess who is going to get themselves a REAL no hope of release for the term of the contract sort of deal? Yep, the slave owner is going to get himself a new roommate named Big Bubba or Bertha. Don't forget to tell your new roommate that you're a Dom/me now, you wouldn't want them taking liberties now would you?
If you are a slave who is under a contract and you no longer wish to be there.. LEAVE. Don't listen to any of that bullshit honor bound or legally bound nonsense. If you want to leave why do you give a fuck if the person you wish to leave thinks you are less than honorable?
If you are naive or stupid enough to believe that contract is legally binding then let us hope you come to your senses sooner rather than later.
So if some Dom/me tells you about a contact and tries to tell you that it is legally binding, you tell them they're lying their ass off. If they really believe it, educate the ignorant fools.
Ah, back to the profiles and let's see how high we can get on the irony meter on this one.. This is a 28 year old Dom from Connecticut. Let us go right to the jounral entries to find posted on 7-16-10..
"I was told I was mediocre and stupid. Imagine that some spoiled little shit thinking she is better than me. FUCK OFF"
Oh dear me, dear me. He reacted quite strongly to being called mediocre and stupid, didn't he just?
Well, let's ring the old irony bell now. This is his journal entry on 8-17-10
"Your Welcome"
Ding!!
Oh well, i'm done for now. I want to thank those who have mentioned me in their profiles, it's much appreciated.
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