So, we all know from experience that too damned many people simply don't read profiles before sending you that message stating they want to A) Become your slave right there on the spot, B) Want you to become their slave right there on the spot, C) Wish you to participate in some elaborate fantasy that you have absolutely no interest in doing, or D) Any number of batshit crazy reasons for messaging you without regard as to what is in your profile.
We all know this, right? I mean fuck, UltimateDomme was created because I wanted to have some laughs at the expense of those sorts.
So tell me, seeing that we all know this.. Why under the realm of the Great Prophet Zarquon are we spending so much space in our profiles and journals complaining about it? You know good and goddamn well you're not going to stop anyone from doing it.... But you sure the fuck can make use of those fucking mail controls CS provides to send all that unwanted shit to the bulk bin..
So stop whining!
Ah just nevermind..
Right then, i'm doing my browsing and the profile of a 30 female slave in Denver, CO comes up.. She wrote the following entry.
"Doms: If your profile reads like an infomercial and makes you sound like Gods gift to women....yeah I will just laugh at it.Not that that is a bad thing....I could use a good laugh these days."
Hmm, a profile that reads like an infomercial.. I wonderrrrrrrrrr.....
(Dramatic blur and fadeout to a new scene... )
The following is a paid advertisement from LordAlphaMasterDom.
"Hey submissive women, are you tired of all those wannabe Doms who say they will train and enslave you but never seem to follow through?
Well look no further for I, LordAlphaMasterDom is just what you need in your life.
I have 27 years of experience and am expert in all facets of the BDSM world. I have traveled all over the world learning the different techniques of all the world class Masters and implementing them into my own realm to have created the training regime that is sure to sweep you off your feet and onto your knees.
As a trainee slave, you will live on my sprawling 186 acre estate where you will be firmly but calmly taught how to kneel in 143 different ways. Yes, each pose means something different and you will learn them all. You will be taught how to use each of your holes to give the ultimate pleasure to your Master, or to whomever your Master directs you to pleasure.
This any many other things you be learn under my firm, guiding hand.
But don't take my word for it, here are some testimonials from past residents of the LordAlphaMasterDom regime....
"Hi, I'm bubbles the big tittied bimbo slave. I was aimless and didn't know where to turn before I discovered LordAlphaMasterDom and his world class training techniques. After serving him on his estate for three years, I can now say I am among the best slaves in the world."
Remember submissives, you will be training under an expert in all facets of BDSM, but you'd better hurry and respond to this profile as I am getting many messages from applicants so don't let this opportunity to learn from the best pass you by. I am standing by waiting to receive your application..
BUT WAIT!!!!
If you act now, I will throw in as an added bonus, a fully realized permanent hot iron branding that will emblozen upon your body the mark of LordAlphaMasterDom so that all will know you as an elite slave.
That's training under the best of the World Class Masters, accomodations on a 186 acre estate, intensive and expert training in all facets of the bdsm world and your very own permanent branding.
Don't wait, respond now while this once in a lifetime offer is still valid."
Now of course there would be several photos of beautiful women in various poses of submission, all looking quite happy and content in their service..
Hmm, Infomercial Doms.. You know, I think the idea could just catch on.
Yeah I think it can.. here's a profile of a 45 Dominant in Bavaria, Germany. Judge for yourself.
""Break on Through to the Other Side"
Me, Sir Q,; experienced and strict, with a fine sense for the limits of his sub / slave, will care about that limits, but might force you to "break on through" - as soon I've found out that this is the best for you (am me - smile!)
Full submission indoor - treated like a lady* in public - as long you don't forget, what you really are for Sir Q.
Or I could you also keep in total slavery, if that is what you are ready for.
As I stand in public, I have to protect myself a little. This is a reason why you don't see a face pic here. You will see me - dear sub or slave - if you might be interested in. Promised!
Slave/Sub with secretary or office skills is very welcome! (not a must)
Some words about my BDSM:
* A master is not a person to please your fetish list, but I listen, what you are into. We should compare.
*I am interested in a sub/slave, who might be interested more aspects of live and not only bdsm play.
* I am not my own slave of "masters-own-fetish-lists" that have to be pleased exactly that way it is listed. How boring ... Live is not like that ... things can be different ... new experience ... What will happen, depends.
* Yes, you have to please me, of course!
* I can be gentle, but I can also be very hard and sadistic - all depends!
* Sure, we should compare, but a real good sub can be trained to be comparable. A serious potential slave should not mind too much about this.
* Be obedient and submissive, .... i will like, if youre also masochistic and if you are submissive without maso - lets talk about then ....!
* you could be taken to live for me and to do and accept what i want - and you will learn soon: It is what you need. And master will be the light in your life you crave for.
*We also can have a short time together, a trainig time or some session, if i am available
I prefer to tell you more about me in a good conversation, profiles often are not understood the way the writer wants to be understood.
So only something very short:
experienced: yes sure, but most here also say so, find out, i f I am (smile)
beginners: also welcome
experienced subs/slaves: as well
relocation of sub/slave: possible
to visit slave first: why not
Prefer: long term, but short term possible as well
Now give up your hindering arrogance that makes you waiting for this "one perfect mail from the prince master". Isnt it an excuse for going on with your brain-cinema you play while you go on lokking, messaging, not doding a decision ... ?
Last not least:
- ... you are Scamists? What is the latest trick to get money from ppl on this site? (hahaha)
- ... you are time wasters or are just curious and telling nonsens? You try to play and tell me, you know about bdsm, but what u tell is so unbelievable, something you never would try in real life. Better for you not to taste it!
- ... youre not interested to give evidences to show up, you are really the person you show in profile and pic, leave out.
Thank you for reading"
All that's missing is the `BUT WAIT!!' part..
I've been having a bit of fun watching what is going on at a certain ski resort, or something like that in Vermont.... It seems this couple have purchased 186 acres of land in the mountains, and have a refurbished 24 room mansion on the premises.. Yay them!!
Ah right, they have also spent the last 12 years (snicker, story of O fantasy coming...) training slaves for other dominants.
Yeah, i've been seeing quite a few profiles of those who have `moved' to this paradise in Vermont.. I've counted ten lesbians now living there.. And I am not even going to mention how many of these profiles look rather similar to each other..
So, 10 lesbians, the wife.. and one guy.. the Lt. Commander.. That lucky sumbitch, eh?
Oh, I won't waste a lot of time on this.. But I *DO* have a bit of a challenge for the residents of this ranch...
How about a photo of all of you together..
Just one..
Apparently good old Brian has listened to my advice, and found a new picture to use. Well, his UltimateDomme123 profile has of course vanished.. But in its place, UltimateDomme100 has arrived to.. You guessed it, find sluts for his stable. It also seems, he's been doing this shit using the name UltimateDomme for a few months, as there are the broken dommes UltimateDomme 55, 34, and 56 that last logged on in April 2015.
No, really I don't care what he does or what name he uses.. But it's funny as hell to get messages from some of the people he's interacted with wondering if I am perhaps the same person.. Of course since he's playing in the Break or Be Broken circuit, those are the sorts of people he interacts with.. Imagine their surprise when they are told who is behind those other profiles?
Yeah Brian.. You can use that hallowed and revered (sometimes reviled) name all you'd like... But when your playmates start messaging me, the bitch is gonna remove your veil. LOL!!
"Try to run... Try to hide.. Break on through to the other side...."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CbiPDSxFgd8
Until next time...
Friday, October 23, 2015
Friday, October 2, 2015
Lulz Crankage..
The wheels of the bus go round and round...
The wheels of the bus go round and round...
The wheels of the bus go round and round...
The wheels of the bus go round and round...
And you're the one under the bus..
Let us examine, if you will, the anatomy of a collarme (Look, i'm old school.. I'll start calling it collarspace eventually... sheesh!)... Err..
Let us examine if you will, the anatomy of a collarspace (Happy now?) profile and how it changes over time...
I am not speaking of the sort of changes that natually occur when someone is exploring and their interests take a slight or radical change of direction. No, I am speaking of the sort of changes that occur as a direct result of getting bombarded by the runaway bus (Yeah, that was why the beginning was as it was.. duh!) of people filling your inbox with all sorts of shit.. most of which you of course have no interest. As an example, the profile I spoke of in the last entry with the guy and his fakefindommespace syndrome.
Let us take for an example a 35 year old single or divorced woman. Over the past few months she has become interested in this thing of ours, and wants to do a bit of safe exploring on a site such as collarspace. Perhaps her interest is as mild as wanting someone to treat her as less than a delicate flower in the bedroom. So, she creates a profile here (At the advice of a friend.. Yeah, you've got to wonder about the `friends' of these people who state in their profile that they had the site recommended to them by said friend)... So scratch that advice of a friend.. Let's say she went to google and typed in BDSM social site.
Ah fuck! I couldn't find any combination of those words to make collarspace come up in the search. Ah, well Fetlife comes up.. So...
Right then, let's say she went to google and typed in BDSM Social Site.. She sees Fetlife and in browsing the site somehow comes across the words `collarspace'.. Back to google.. She types in collarspace.. THERE IT IS!!
So, she goes to collarspace, creates a profile.. writes a brief description of herself and what she is interested in exploring.. Let's say she lives in Kansas, and states in this profile she would prefer someone be in driving distance. She may include a couple of pictures of herself.. She's a typical 35 year old brunette.. a few extra pounds perhaps.. wears glasses.. Err a real girl..
Soon.. (Horror movie music starts playing here... gotta set the mood, yeah?) Some Dom from 1500 miles away who wants to roll her in shit and fuck her while she squeals like a pig, messages her. Her eyes grow wide as she covers her mouth to prevent the liquid she is drinking from spraying all over the monitor.
Being the polite girl she is, she responds and politely declines. Maybe he leaves her alone, maybe he doesn't.. Wait, now there are 6 more messages. One is from a guy in another country who wants to keep her caged when `not in use'. One is actually local, but it's a 24 year old sub trans woman who would like nothing better than to be owned by someone such as herself and right now!
Soon, she doesn't have time to respond to all of these messages, and soon she starts getting followup messages from some of the ones she doesn't have time to respond to. She is told she needs to learn manners.. they suggest methods of training.... etc..
In the space of 2 hours, she now has 14 pages of messages from an assorted bag of whack jobs.. and misses that 38 year old guy who lives about an hour away and is seeking something remarkably similar to what she seeks. Since she missed it, he doesn't waste any further time on her and moves on.
The next day, she logs on to find another 3 or 4 pages of messages from the same sort of people..
Well, something needs to be done... So off to the profile editor.. and soon the brief profile she's written is relegated to the bottom of her profile and is replaced with a list of things she is not interested in exploring. So you pig farmers and harem owners are shit out of luck on this one. Oh, and you 18-21 year old Doms can forget it to, she wants someone close to her age, sorry.
A month later, she's still there.. still logs on every day, and her profile has changed several times.. You wouldn't even recognize it from the profile she wrote a month before.
Poor girl.. and not the least bit out of the ordinary for collarspace, is it?
So, not long after I made my long anticipated return... (Oh the bitch knows you wanted her back, the place has gone to shit while I was gone and you all know it.) err.. not long after I made my long anticipated return to my throne I got a message from someone who suggested something about the duties of the slaves here would include making sure the tire pressure on the mansion tires were at the proper level..
I liked that one, so did a bit of a rewrite on the CS profile. For you fans of Chuck, I wrote him off the page because frankly, I was tired of answering questions about him.
Oh shit... guess who else is back? Don't wanna guess.. i'll tell you.. SlaveTransportCo is back but it seems as if he's changed his story a bit.. Hey, a lot of that going around. He wrote this journal.
"9/25/2015 10:56:54 PM: Those who remember me, remember that I used to be an over the road escort for oversize loads and would often transport slaves here and there as a service. These days, I'm off the road and running a little company. When I worked over the road, I couldn't keep a slave for long term. Now, I can. I would like to find a single female slave or a slave couple. I have managed to combine my work with my lifestyle interests and I can offer a slave or slaves the same. Let me know if you have interest."
So you see, he's now looking for a slave(s) for himself, gave up that other bit..
I gotta tell y'all, i've been getting some really batshit crazy messages from some folks.. Here's one who messaged me to take the piss over the profile pics.. Now when I say take the piss, this person was truly righteously indignant over the fact I am not the hottie in the picture.. Now something about this person's photo was striking me, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it.. I basically kited her (Or not a her..) while I ran the photo through google images... This is a 23 lesbian submissive and here's the exchange....
moremodestmandy on 10/1/15 at 10:08 AM:
Why do you have two different girls on your profile?
UltimateDomme on 10/1/15 at 10:09 AM:
I don't know, why do I?
moremodestmandy on 10/1/15 at 10:11 AM:
Is it because you want people to believe that they are the same girl because they look similar? '
UltimateDomme on 10/1/15 at 10:12 AM:
Hmmm, good answer.. LOL
moremodestmandy on 10/1/15 at 10:13 AM:
It seems as though you might be bored with the game you play pretending to be a woman.
UltimateDomme on 10/1/15 at 10:15 AM:
ZOMG! I must delete the profile right away!!
moremodestmandy on 10/1/15 at 10:20 AM:
It wouldn't matter. You have countless other fake profiles.
UltimateDomme on 10/1/15 at 10:21 AM:
Do I? Do tell, which of these countless other profiles are mine?
moremodestmandy on 10/1/15 at 10:22 AM:
How would I know?
moremodestmandy on 10/1/15 at 10:22 AM:
You've also had this same picture for 5 years.
UltimateDomme on 10/1/15 at 10:24 AM:
I don't know. You seem to think I have these countless other profiles, you should at least know which ones.
Right then.. by this time, I had the results of the photo search and you will not believe what I found... Ah, so maybe it's not a stretch.
UltimateDomme on 10/1/15 at 10:24 AM:
LOL!!!! So tell me, `mandy'.. why is your photo of Angie Verona?
http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/angie-varona-14-year-unwillingly-internet-sex-symbol/story?id=14882768
Pretty slimy to use photos of a girl who is famous for getting her photos hacked when she was 14. You're a low little dude.
There would be no answer to this message.. Doesn't that just take the biscuit? It's funny how the people who get the most pissed off about someone being a fake lesbian most of the time turn out to be a fake lesbian themselves. You know on some level, I kinda get it.. When you find out that hot supermodel you've been tossing off to is in turn tossing off to your supermodel photos, it sorta wrecks the fantasy, doesn't it fellas?
Is it just me, or has the hotness level on the trans folks on CS gone way up? I mean to tell you, some of the ones who have been viewing my profile are pretty fucking adorable. I could really get into strapping in on and listening to the crying..
Ah well, gonna get this shit posted..
I leave you with the immortal words of Malcolm Tucker...
Fuckity bye!
The wheels of the bus go round and round...
The wheels of the bus go round and round...
The wheels of the bus go round and round...
And you're the one under the bus..
Let us examine, if you will, the anatomy of a collarme (Look, i'm old school.. I'll start calling it collarspace eventually... sheesh!)... Err..
Let us examine if you will, the anatomy of a collarspace (Happy now?) profile and how it changes over time...
I am not speaking of the sort of changes that natually occur when someone is exploring and their interests take a slight or radical change of direction. No, I am speaking of the sort of changes that occur as a direct result of getting bombarded by the runaway bus (Yeah, that was why the beginning was as it was.. duh!) of people filling your inbox with all sorts of shit.. most of which you of course have no interest. As an example, the profile I spoke of in the last entry with the guy and his fakefindommespace syndrome.
Let us take for an example a 35 year old single or divorced woman. Over the past few months she has become interested in this thing of ours, and wants to do a bit of safe exploring on a site such as collarspace. Perhaps her interest is as mild as wanting someone to treat her as less than a delicate flower in the bedroom. So, she creates a profile here (At the advice of a friend.. Yeah, you've got to wonder about the `friends' of these people who state in their profile that they had the site recommended to them by said friend)... So scratch that advice of a friend.. Let's say she went to google and typed in BDSM social site.
Ah fuck! I couldn't find any combination of those words to make collarspace come up in the search. Ah, well Fetlife comes up.. So...
Right then, let's say she went to google and typed in BDSM Social Site.. She sees Fetlife and in browsing the site somehow comes across the words `collarspace'.. Back to google.. She types in collarspace.. THERE IT IS!!
So, she goes to collarspace, creates a profile.. writes a brief description of herself and what she is interested in exploring.. Let's say she lives in Kansas, and states in this profile she would prefer someone be in driving distance. She may include a couple of pictures of herself.. She's a typical 35 year old brunette.. a few extra pounds perhaps.. wears glasses.. Err a real girl..
Soon.. (Horror movie music starts playing here... gotta set the mood, yeah?) Some Dom from 1500 miles away who wants to roll her in shit and fuck her while she squeals like a pig, messages her. Her eyes grow wide as she covers her mouth to prevent the liquid she is drinking from spraying all over the monitor.
Being the polite girl she is, she responds and politely declines. Maybe he leaves her alone, maybe he doesn't.. Wait, now there are 6 more messages. One is from a guy in another country who wants to keep her caged when `not in use'. One is actually local, but it's a 24 year old sub trans woman who would like nothing better than to be owned by someone such as herself and right now!
Soon, she doesn't have time to respond to all of these messages, and soon she starts getting followup messages from some of the ones she doesn't have time to respond to. She is told she needs to learn manners.. they suggest methods of training.... etc..
In the space of 2 hours, she now has 14 pages of messages from an assorted bag of whack jobs.. and misses that 38 year old guy who lives about an hour away and is seeking something remarkably similar to what she seeks. Since she missed it, he doesn't waste any further time on her and moves on.
The next day, she logs on to find another 3 or 4 pages of messages from the same sort of people..
Well, something needs to be done... So off to the profile editor.. and soon the brief profile she's written is relegated to the bottom of her profile and is replaced with a list of things she is not interested in exploring. So you pig farmers and harem owners are shit out of luck on this one. Oh, and you 18-21 year old Doms can forget it to, she wants someone close to her age, sorry.
A month later, she's still there.. still logs on every day, and her profile has changed several times.. You wouldn't even recognize it from the profile she wrote a month before.
Poor girl.. and not the least bit out of the ordinary for collarspace, is it?
So, not long after I made my long anticipated return... (Oh the bitch knows you wanted her back, the place has gone to shit while I was gone and you all know it.) err.. not long after I made my long anticipated return to my throne I got a message from someone who suggested something about the duties of the slaves here would include making sure the tire pressure on the mansion tires were at the proper level..
I liked that one, so did a bit of a rewrite on the CS profile. For you fans of Chuck, I wrote him off the page because frankly, I was tired of answering questions about him.
Oh shit... guess who else is back? Don't wanna guess.. i'll tell you.. SlaveTransportCo is back but it seems as if he's changed his story a bit.. Hey, a lot of that going around. He wrote this journal.
"9/25/2015 10:56:54 PM: Those who remember me, remember that I used to be an over the road escort for oversize loads and would often transport slaves here and there as a service. These days, I'm off the road and running a little company. When I worked over the road, I couldn't keep a slave for long term. Now, I can. I would like to find a single female slave or a slave couple. I have managed to combine my work with my lifestyle interests and I can offer a slave or slaves the same. Let me know if you have interest."
So you see, he's now looking for a slave(s) for himself, gave up that other bit..
I gotta tell y'all, i've been getting some really batshit crazy messages from some folks.. Here's one who messaged me to take the piss over the profile pics.. Now when I say take the piss, this person was truly righteously indignant over the fact I am not the hottie in the picture.. Now something about this person's photo was striking me, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it.. I basically kited her (Or not a her..) while I ran the photo through google images... This is a 23 lesbian submissive and here's the exchange....
moremodestmandy on 10/1/15 at 10:08 AM:
Why do you have two different girls on your profile?
UltimateDomme on 10/1/15 at 10:09 AM:
I don't know, why do I?
moremodestmandy on 10/1/15 at 10:11 AM:
Is it because you want people to believe that they are the same girl because they look similar? '
UltimateDomme on 10/1/15 at 10:12 AM:
Hmmm, good answer.. LOL
moremodestmandy on 10/1/15 at 10:13 AM:
It seems as though you might be bored with the game you play pretending to be a woman.
UltimateDomme on 10/1/15 at 10:15 AM:
ZOMG! I must delete the profile right away!!
moremodestmandy on 10/1/15 at 10:20 AM:
It wouldn't matter. You have countless other fake profiles.
UltimateDomme on 10/1/15 at 10:21 AM:
Do I? Do tell, which of these countless other profiles are mine?
moremodestmandy on 10/1/15 at 10:22 AM:
How would I know?
moremodestmandy on 10/1/15 at 10:22 AM:
You've also had this same picture for 5 years.
UltimateDomme on 10/1/15 at 10:24 AM:
I don't know. You seem to think I have these countless other profiles, you should at least know which ones.
Right then.. by this time, I had the results of the photo search and you will not believe what I found... Ah, so maybe it's not a stretch.
UltimateDomme on 10/1/15 at 10:24 AM:
LOL!!!! So tell me, `mandy'.. why is your photo of Angie Verona?
http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/angie-varona-14-year-unwillingly-internet-sex-symbol/story?id=14882768
Pretty slimy to use photos of a girl who is famous for getting her photos hacked when she was 14. You're a low little dude.
There would be no answer to this message.. Doesn't that just take the biscuit? It's funny how the people who get the most pissed off about someone being a fake lesbian most of the time turn out to be a fake lesbian themselves. You know on some level, I kinda get it.. When you find out that hot supermodel you've been tossing off to is in turn tossing off to your supermodel photos, it sorta wrecks the fantasy, doesn't it fellas?
Is it just me, or has the hotness level on the trans folks on CS gone way up? I mean to tell you, some of the ones who have been viewing my profile are pretty fucking adorable. I could really get into strapping in on and listening to the crying..
Ah well, gonna get this shit posted..
I leave you with the immortal words of Malcolm Tucker...
Fuckity bye!
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