..."Deep in the heart of Germany, Lucy clutched her breast in fear.. She heard a beat of her lover's heart... for weeks she raved.. In dreams he appeared..."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gts2yGraydk
Ah, just a little ditty called Nosferatu from Blue Oyster Cult to kick off this post.. Enjoy.. enjoy.. or not, whatever..
Yeah, ummm.. Germany, the undisputed capital of whole fucking BDSM world. Fuckin' A right pal.. Anyone who is REAL in the BDSM lifestyle knows that be on top of the fucking BDSM mountain their roots must be in Germany....Tossing the phrase "old guard" in there somewhere helps as well... Yanno, to make you look even more real and true.
Right, right then.. this is a 47 male dominant in Berlin, Germany and this profile.. heh.. Well, he starts off with a pretty generic profile then gets off into this...
"I have been in the lifestyle for over 29 years, worked in the fetish adult industry for many years from owning a Pro Domme Studio, fabricating / designing bondage furniture, making of fetish / bdsm videos / photos, fetish model agencies etc etc.
About the bdsm school :
Need Help With Training Your sub, slave, pet, Domme, etc ?
We { small group of male and females, could be called a leather family, house , European society { like Story of "O" }, etc } been training subs slaves for many years for our own pleasure, or for other owners who just could not get a handle on them for one reason or another, short and long term available.
We can host in one of our locations equipped with all kind of fun equipment, or in some cases we can come to you.
We train future subs, slaves, pets Pro Domme's for private, real time sessions, movies, photo, business, etc. We can teach you everything you need to know about the business from A-Z."
*Clicks tongue*. Yeah, BDSMSchool... Mmmkay, have you taken all of that in? Heh, good, good..
A real fucking life European Society like the Story of O.. Who will gladly train your slave for you if you can't do it yourself... (I won't even mention the fact if you have someone you can't handle..well, nevermind that.) I really get a lot of giggles out of people who speak of Story of O as if it's a historical text, instead of well.. softcore porn.
Oh come on now, you know that's always fucking funny to hear/see/read in some moron's profile... And i'd love to see the sort of dipshit who would send his sub to be trained by another.. This isn't even the FUNNY part of this cat's profile though.. no, that honor goes to his journals...No, not the one where he cries about slaves not REALLY being interested in the sort of life a real slave might have led in say, 1850.. (But that link to wikipedia to make his point is golden.) No.. i'm talking about the one he created on 11-29-2011...
"I am so tired of all the fakes and the fake profiles CM puts up here just to boost traffic. Please ONLY the real, the ones that are looking for the real deal contact me, do not waist my time ! You will be blocked and reported !"
Ah yes, yes, YES! Another asshole who thinks CM themselves are creating fake profiles to boost traffic. Umm, for you and others who believe this, exactly how often do YOU logon to CM on a given day to add to their traffic count? Think about that one for a moment, geniuses...Oh yeah, I have a few of you dipshits on my "favorites" list and see just how often you are at the top of the list.... That's a lot of fucking logins for the sort of people who believe the above, don't you think?
But anyway, i've gotten off point.. Let's discuss that bit about "ONLY the ones looking for the real deal" contacting you, lest they be blocked and reported....
Yeah.. Umm.. REPORTED TO WHO?
IF... IF what you believe is true that it's CM creating all these fake profiles, exactly what in the blue monkey hell would you be trying to accomplish by reporting them to the very people who you believe created said fake profile?.. I swear, the sort of things people say when they want to threaten someone is just laughable. Besides, not being really interested in you and your fantasy island profile isn't against the TOS for having a profile on CM. So maybe you'll report them to collarmefakes.com then?
Oh yes, in this assclown's profile is the announcement that he is indeed a member of that site... "so be real or get reported."... Yeah, having another online pretender reporting them to that site because they had the nerve to "waist" your time, will certainly scare the shit out of them, huh?
I tell you, you gotta love these deluded morons. Well, love them for their entertainment value at least.
Oh this cat also has that inane "disclaimer" about his privacy and this little tidbit....
"PS. Also looking for serious investors for bdsm related business."
Could it be after all is said and done, this player is just on CM looking for money?
Apparently I read "rollercoaster dom's" profile differently than did tootrue2. I'd read that part and saw where he said something about withdrawing consent and what it means, and I saw it as stating the obvious that a sub who no longer consented to whatever he wanted to do didn't want to be involved with him in that fashion anymore.
She read it as a threat on his part, where the withdrawing of consent would trigger him ceasing the relationship. She likened it to using a safe word, and says using a safeword is a form of withdrawing consent. I'm not at all sure I can agree with that one, a safeword is supposed to be used when something is wrong. Withdrawing consent is just that. But I see her point about what he infers with that statement in his profile.
One thing we DO agree on, this dude has some seriously fucked up ideas.
Oh dear, you know it's almost a disappointment when a fake lesbian has been on CM for like a long time, and they finally make that inevitable fuck up and give themselves away.
This is one I actually highlighted way back at the beginning of this blog. She was the one who invented a sub on the east coast and had her "move" to the west coast.. I think that "relationship" lasted about a week or two, not sure.
Anyway.. It's time to revisit one of CM's longest surviving fake lesbians, DommeMelissa11.... Of course back then he was just DommeMelissa, without the 11.. There must have been some profile deletions in there somewhere.
Here's one of his latest journal entries...
"To my admirer, the male I met at a event IN PERSON, I thank you! IF anyone dares question me, I will give you his id here so HE will vouch for me I am 100% real!"
*Giggle* now you know this guy is the one behind the profile. He must be getting pretty desperate, fending off all of those fake claims he's got to be getting.
Right then, he also added some new photos to his profile.. Pictures of Alexis Amore.. A porn actress.
I just wonder, do you people who post the photos of semi-famous people think you're the only one that is going to be able to find those photos on the fucking internet?
Anyway,if one were to mention to him that the photos on the profile are of a Peruvian born porn actress names Alexis Amore and not some "Lebanese born GODDESS". this is what you'll be told...
"DommeMelissa11 on 5/23/12 at 12:07 AM:
That is my porn name and profile idiot, be gone your boring me"
Uh huh.. Like I said, a little disappointing when the long time fakes bust themselves. FUNNY, but a little disappoining.
Never fear, he's made the announcement that he's staying on CM for a bit longer.
Here's one that someone sent me. They'd gotten the following message from a dominant female; someone whose profile is hidden....
"From: xxxxxxxxxxx
Dated:
5/23/12 9:46 PM
Hello, you’re very beautiful I have over 40 years experience and my son is also experienced in BDSM. I raised my son in the lifestyle as well . Seek female to be part of our family. r. We have a big play room with lots of toys and equipment. Son has 11 years experience .We Host events and parties.. We are a loving caring family i am helping my son with this because i have the experience and YEARS IN THE lifestyle AND CAN WEED OUT ALL THE FAKES AND users he has been finding and find that real special girl he has not been able to get. If you are interested contact me at xxxxxxxxxxx on yahoo messenger."
Then the person who sent me this message, asks this: "i have to ask.... he has 11 years in the Lifestyle and can't weed out fakes?"
Interesting question to ask to be sure..
The first thing that jumps out at me in that message is this obviously 60+ woman raised her son in the lifestyle. That one never fails to start me off giggling but the ramifications of what else is said in this profile causes me to need to make sure i'm not drinking anything..
The absolute funniest thing here is this son of hers with 11 years of experience has his damned mother trolling the internet for a slave for him? Hehe.. If that .0000001% chance of this one being on the level were to be true.. Just what sort of fucked up person would you be getting hooked up with, that he had to get his mother to search for him?
Dude!
Can't you just see it if he were to have some sort of disagreement with the slave his mother found for him? He'd be on the phone to his mommie.... "Mommm! She won't listen to meeeeeee!"
Heh, okay one more.. then i'm off to find some trouble to get into..
This is an 18 female switch in Nebraska.. The profile is funny but I want to address one of her journal entries...
"From: xxxxxxxx Dated: 5/28/12 3:23 AM You have the most annoying profile on CM.
Thats harrassment there twiddle dee, if you dont like it then dont look at it. Stop trying to infringe upon my First Amendment right of Free Speech to the United States of America's Constitution."
Yeah, i've gotten a few such messages and I give that same advice when someone does message me with that sort of thing.. However her response to that message is a little off the mark.. No, it's totally off the mark.
The First Amendment of the USA's Constitution does NOT cover the right to post a profile on a social network site. While CM is of course free and anonymous, they rather have this thing they like to call a "Terms of Service" and if you break any of those terms, the offending profile, journal entry, or photo gets deleted.
As much as you people with this fundamental misconception of the US Constitution don't get it.. posting your profile and having your say on a site such as Collarme is a privilege, not a right. If you get deleted from the site, you have no recourse.
L8r peepz....
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Friday, May 11, 2012
Of all of the humor I see on Collarme, I get some of the biggest laughs from seeing profiles where the guy is looking for a doormat with this long list of requirements that must be met before you approach him.You know, approach him to "apply for the position?" Now, you have to make sure you're like the real deal because he's getting too many messages from players and all the other applicants. In other words he expects to be approached, and claims to be getting a good amount of slaves actually approaching him.
Oh come on now, you've seen many profiles like that, haven't ya? Of course you have.
Right then, I believe on the average for every 100 guys looking for the sort of broken person who would be interested in that brand of umm, domination, there are probably one or two such broken women. Would you say that's an accurate assessment of these particular demographics, 100 of these dominants for every one or two broken women? Make no mistake, any woman who would willingly subject herself to the sort of crap MasterDontCareAboutYou wants to do to her, is a broken person.
Yeah, i'd say so too. So, given that... What must we think of the profile that claims they are being approached by many such women? Well, that they're some lying mother fuckers comes to mind right off the bat.
Now, how do we know this, you ask? Because those two broken women are getting so many messages I seriously doubt they have any time on Collarme that isn't devoted to dealing with the massive amount of messages THEY are getting to even know you clowns exist.
You assholes are a dime a dozen and the broken women you seek are the fucking commodity here, not you. Besides, not one of you have anything at all about yourselves in your profiles except for how domly you are and a few catch words like, "well off" or something to that effect... And then have the nerve to get offended when some hot little gold digger comes around looking to get paid.
"Fakes and scammers, stay away!" Yeah, that'll scare em off. Do you dipshits even get that the scammers aren't reading profiles to know that you wish them to stay away from you?
Here's a profile i've seen for quite some time under her current name, and a previous name, and this poor girl has gone through quite a few fake doms..
This is a 50 female submissive in Louisiana, her profile changes quite a lot and this newest version of her profile is one of defeat.. Here, let me show you the new first couple of lines from it.
"No longer looking, have realized because of the ppl on here that have lied to me so much I can't trust anymore."
Yeah, another defeated soul who logged onto CM with high hopes only to have her hopes and dreams shattered by the fake doms and players she's encountered.
Hmm, she has this bit toward the bottom of the profile..
"I look for a Dom that wants a mix of vanilla and bdsm, who is honest, loving and has character. Blonde, blue and curvy and a bit spoiled. Discretion needed will explain."
Uh oh, there's that huge honking red flag waving all over the place.. "Discretion needed, will explain."
Ask her to explain and you'll be told that 10 or so years ago her husband cheated on her and well, payback is a bitch eh? Right, so she's married.
Now, along with the "I'm no longer looking" bit on the front end, she's put this on the back end..
"Xxxxxx - the greek- was a fraud...married. 3rd Dom in a row a fake.....makes one wonder about this site. Xxxxxxxxxx is a fake too, married with 8 kids....my Dom before him was a fake.... I have become a fake magnet lol"
Yeah, i'm not in any way trying to deny there are oodles and oodles of players and spouse cheaters out there.. But after 4 or 5 times getting your ass singed in pretty much the same way, it's probably a good idea to start wondering why it keeps happening instead of not taking responsibility for your own choices and simply blaming the fakes and players.. You know, no matter how many times you watch it, that hail mary pass Brady tried in the Super Bowl fell incomplete.
Start with the pictures, 11 pictures on the profile, 9 of them closeups of her chest and a couple of bare boob pictures. Who would you imagine you're going to be attracting first and foremost? Did you guess people who have been attracted by the bodacious tatas and probably didn't read a word of your fucking profile? Well then you've correctly answered the fucking bonus question.
Okay, okay, as a general rule even women with a couple of non specific, non sexual pictures (Or even no pictures, err or a picture of a lighthouse) are going to attract a lot of players, but must you go out of your way to encourage them?
Right then, YOU'RE cheating on your fucking husband, where the fuck do you get off whining because you ended up hooking up with married guys, also cheating on their spouse? Like attracts like.
Oh yes, and that whole, "no longer looking" bullshit? Right, it's bullshit. You're no longer looking because of all the people who lied to you? Delete your fucking profile and get on with your life. All you're doing with that profile opening is attracting the sort of predator who may not lie to you, but will definitely take full advantage of you being in that sort of vulnerable state... Which in turn gives you yet more to cry about later on down the line.
Speaking of preying upon the vulnerable, i'm reminded of a particular ad that was placed on Craig's List just after Hurricane Katrina hit the New Orleans/Southern Mississippi area. This guy was offering a place to stay for either a single mother or a single woman displaced by the storm. In return for a place to stay, the woman would be required to serve him in much the same way as many of us envision a D/s type relationship.... This would be her repayment for his "kindness." The shitbags are out there, just waiting.
"Imagine a place, a farm, a training center for submissives, servants, maids and slaves. The only way in would by submitting to a contract, you’d write by hand."
"You’d go there out of your free will and you would not leave before the end of the contract.
It would be a place where you’d learn to serve and obey, explore your limitations, gifts, talents and overcome your fears. It would be a safe place and yet frightening, for you’d give up your rights as a free person and become a trainee, a novice in the fine arts of servitude.
There would be a main house, where the trainers and leader would reside, and there would be cells and stables, as sleeping accommodation for the trainees. It would be a like square farm or a roman villa structure, where you’d finally become what deep inside yourself, you had always been."
The above is from a 48/45 Dom/Domme couple in Belgium, and there are other parts of this profile, advertising this place that can only be described as a Slave Utopia. Well, Dom/me Utopia seeing as they are only allowing subs and slaves to "apply."
Right, now this profile contains three photos. Now I swear i'm not making it up, but two of those photos show a woman on a St. Andrews Cross, mouths open and spread eagle....(Two different women) But there's something just under these women's legs.. something blue... A pose ball.
Yep, these pictures are from SecondLife, as is the photo of his "roman villa" he speaks of in the profile. Just Sayin'! Hey if you apply for this, get ready to have to download SecondLife.
I've been having a bit of fun trying to find some of the people my new favorite profile tootrue2 speaks of in her journals. She likes to give them cute nicknames such as "Motorcycle Dom" and "Rollercoaster Dom."
So, let's have a look at Motorcycle Dom and Rollercoaster Dom and even though these two have been well and fully taken to the proverbial woodshed by tootrue2, I just can't resist picking at the scabs a little.
Right then..
Let's start with Roller Coaster Dom, a 65 male dominant in Massachusetts..
"Consent is not something that is debated at every turn. It is given once and only after trust and thought have gone into it. Period. After that, all is left to the Dominant. No challenging his decisions. You have given control and that is that."
I actually don't disagree with the first part of this, consent not being debated at every turn.... And he seems to understand that this consent is not given at the drop of a hat, so we'll give him that one... Up until the point where the submissive doesn't feel as if she is getting what she signed up for, or perhaps no longer getting it. Then guess what happens?
"Withdraw your consent and the relationship is at a end."
Yeah, no shit? I think that's rather a clue the relationship is at an end. She don't want you no mo'. Hey, at least he's not one of those, "no hope of release" sort of folks.. although this next bit rather seems to indicate it's what he'd prefer.
"I Believe you should conceptualize this as a Roller Coaster Ride. Once started, you cannot stop in the middle of the ride and say " This is too steep! Let me off!" You either ride the ride to the end or don't get on."
And now, the comment that is reponsible for the nickname tootrue2 gave him.
What an absolute assinine comment to make. Especially when it comes on the heels of his own words about withdrawing consent. Withdrawing consent is something he doesn't feel should be an option.
"For those of you who approach a Dominant with a long list of limits, perhaps you should rethink your orientation. Most submissive limits lists are nothing more than a sad attempt to top from the bottom."
Awww shit, and hereeeeeeee we go! The old tried and true fallback to explain anything not of their ideals of submissive behavior, "topping from the bottom." Because DAMMIT, a submissive should NEVER have the sort of fucking intelligence or self worth (Preservation?)it takes to say, "You know, I don't want certain things to be done to me."
Heh, let's couple that topping from the bottom comment with the last two lines of his profile...
"I am prepared to accept supplications from an INTELLIGENT submissive/slave that desire to expand their real time personal experiences."
Dude, You really shouldn't say you're seeking someone who is intelligent... And then go off on rants about when they actually use said intelligence you say you seek, to determine that perhaps there are certain activities or parts of this scene they don't want to explore.
No, really I get what you're saying, though.. By "intelligent" you mean someone who recognizes you for the all encompassing, all knowing MASTER you are, right?
All right then, let's move along to Motorcycle Dom.. This is a 50 male dominant in Massachusetts. Point of interest, tootrue2 does the majority of her posts about those in Mass, but i've seen some recent ones from other places, look out :-P
.
This cat is looking for the "total package" and tootrue2 rips his ass for some of the things said slave must be when he's not exactly the total package himself..
Now, after reading this guys profile, there's some fucking funny shit in there beginning with the paragragh that starts out with, "About me:"
Just WOW!! Works in the hotel industry in upper management, UPPER fucking MANANGEMENT!!.. A scuba diving "dive master".. a black belt in Tae Kwon Do, PLUS!!! a former member of the armed forces, the Green Berets.
Eh I really wish you assholes who claim to have been a Navy Seal, or a Ranger or anything of the sort would get it that the sort of person who was REALLY a member of those organizations generally don't talk about it. They don't use that shit to get laid is what I mean. And how come no one ever puts in their profile that they were a supply clerk in the Army?
Right, the one picture of this guy is of a errrr.... typical white collar type,*smirk* jeans and Patriot's jacket, snot rag hanging from a pocket.. You know, the sort of shit upper management types tend to wear when they go out in public and pose for photos in front of buildings.
Seriously, being an accounting clerk at a medium sized hotel is NOT upper management. Besides, why even mention you're in fucking upper management (tranlates into, "makes the big bucks", don't deny it, dipshit.) then go on to state you refuse to be someone's sugar daddy? Dude, making the big bucks is the only fucking chance someone like you has to find the head turning total package you want.
Anyhow, there is one line in this profile that flat out tells you this moron is totally clueless..
"I am strict and very demanding, I hate failure in a submissive /slave."
Now, what exactly can be construed as failure in a submissive or slave when the prevailing opinion of the community at large, (Not that i've polled them but I believe most would ageee on this) is that a submissive or slave directly reflects upon the dominant, yes, yes?
So that means if there is a failure, guess whose fault it is? It has to be the dominant's seeing as the general consensus for this type of person is that the submissive is basically nothing without her dominant to "guide" her on her journey.
And why is it these sorts feel the need to add one or more photos of some hot woman in their profile, in some wide open pose?
Hmmm, I must have writer's block the past few months.. All of a sudden the lulz are just jumping out at me in profiles i've seen before but didn't see the funny in them..
I'm not gonna speculate too much.. just gonna keep on keeping on..
Laterz
Oh come on now, you've seen many profiles like that, haven't ya? Of course you have.
Right then, I believe on the average for every 100 guys looking for the sort of broken person who would be interested in that brand of umm, domination, there are probably one or two such broken women. Would you say that's an accurate assessment of these particular demographics, 100 of these dominants for every one or two broken women? Make no mistake, any woman who would willingly subject herself to the sort of crap MasterDontCareAboutYou wants to do to her, is a broken person.
Yeah, i'd say so too. So, given that... What must we think of the profile that claims they are being approached by many such women? Well, that they're some lying mother fuckers comes to mind right off the bat.
Now, how do we know this, you ask? Because those two broken women are getting so many messages I seriously doubt they have any time on Collarme that isn't devoted to dealing with the massive amount of messages THEY are getting to even know you clowns exist.
You assholes are a dime a dozen and the broken women you seek are the fucking commodity here, not you. Besides, not one of you have anything at all about yourselves in your profiles except for how domly you are and a few catch words like, "well off" or something to that effect... And then have the nerve to get offended when some hot little gold digger comes around looking to get paid.
"Fakes and scammers, stay away!" Yeah, that'll scare em off. Do you dipshits even get that the scammers aren't reading profiles to know that you wish them to stay away from you?
Here's a profile i've seen for quite some time under her current name, and a previous name, and this poor girl has gone through quite a few fake doms..
This is a 50 female submissive in Louisiana, her profile changes quite a lot and this newest version of her profile is one of defeat.. Here, let me show you the new first couple of lines from it.
"No longer looking, have realized because of the ppl on here that have lied to me so much I can't trust anymore."
Yeah, another defeated soul who logged onto CM with high hopes only to have her hopes and dreams shattered by the fake doms and players she's encountered.
Hmm, she has this bit toward the bottom of the profile..
"I look for a Dom that wants a mix of vanilla and bdsm, who is honest, loving and has character. Blonde, blue and curvy and a bit spoiled. Discretion needed will explain."
Uh oh, there's that huge honking red flag waving all over the place.. "Discretion needed, will explain."
Ask her to explain and you'll be told that 10 or so years ago her husband cheated on her and well, payback is a bitch eh? Right, so she's married.
Now, along with the "I'm no longer looking" bit on the front end, she's put this on the back end..
"Xxxxxx - the greek- was a fraud...married. 3rd Dom in a row a fake.....makes one wonder about this site. Xxxxxxxxxx is a fake too, married with 8 kids....my Dom before him was a fake.... I have become a fake magnet lol"
Yeah, i'm not in any way trying to deny there are oodles and oodles of players and spouse cheaters out there.. But after 4 or 5 times getting your ass singed in pretty much the same way, it's probably a good idea to start wondering why it keeps happening instead of not taking responsibility for your own choices and simply blaming the fakes and players.. You know, no matter how many times you watch it, that hail mary pass Brady tried in the Super Bowl fell incomplete.
Start with the pictures, 11 pictures on the profile, 9 of them closeups of her chest and a couple of bare boob pictures. Who would you imagine you're going to be attracting first and foremost? Did you guess people who have been attracted by the bodacious tatas and probably didn't read a word of your fucking profile? Well then you've correctly answered the fucking bonus question.
Okay, okay, as a general rule even women with a couple of non specific, non sexual pictures (Or even no pictures, err or a picture of a lighthouse) are going to attract a lot of players, but must you go out of your way to encourage them?
Right then, YOU'RE cheating on your fucking husband, where the fuck do you get off whining because you ended up hooking up with married guys, also cheating on their spouse? Like attracts like.
Oh yes, and that whole, "no longer looking" bullshit? Right, it's bullshit. You're no longer looking because of all the people who lied to you? Delete your fucking profile and get on with your life. All you're doing with that profile opening is attracting the sort of predator who may not lie to you, but will definitely take full advantage of you being in that sort of vulnerable state... Which in turn gives you yet more to cry about later on down the line.
Speaking of preying upon the vulnerable, i'm reminded of a particular ad that was placed on Craig's List just after Hurricane Katrina hit the New Orleans/Southern Mississippi area. This guy was offering a place to stay for either a single mother or a single woman displaced by the storm. In return for a place to stay, the woman would be required to serve him in much the same way as many of us envision a D/s type relationship.... This would be her repayment for his "kindness." The shitbags are out there, just waiting.
"Imagine a place, a farm, a training center for submissives, servants, maids and slaves. The only way in would by submitting to a contract, you’d write by hand."
"You’d go there out of your free will and you would not leave before the end of the contract.
It would be a place where you’d learn to serve and obey, explore your limitations, gifts, talents and overcome your fears. It would be a safe place and yet frightening, for you’d give up your rights as a free person and become a trainee, a novice in the fine arts of servitude.
There would be a main house, where the trainers and leader would reside, and there would be cells and stables, as sleeping accommodation for the trainees. It would be a like square farm or a roman villa structure, where you’d finally become what deep inside yourself, you had always been."
The above is from a 48/45 Dom/Domme couple in Belgium, and there are other parts of this profile, advertising this place that can only be described as a Slave Utopia. Well, Dom/me Utopia seeing as they are only allowing subs and slaves to "apply."
Right, now this profile contains three photos. Now I swear i'm not making it up, but two of those photos show a woman on a St. Andrews Cross, mouths open and spread eagle....(Two different women) But there's something just under these women's legs.. something blue... A pose ball.
Yep, these pictures are from SecondLife, as is the photo of his "roman villa" he speaks of in the profile. Just Sayin'! Hey if you apply for this, get ready to have to download SecondLife.
I've been having a bit of fun trying to find some of the people my new favorite profile tootrue2 speaks of in her journals. She likes to give them cute nicknames such as "Motorcycle Dom" and "Rollercoaster Dom."
So, let's have a look at Motorcycle Dom and Rollercoaster Dom and even though these two have been well and fully taken to the proverbial woodshed by tootrue2, I just can't resist picking at the scabs a little.
Right then..
Let's start with Roller Coaster Dom, a 65 male dominant in Massachusetts..
"Consent is not something that is debated at every turn. It is given once and only after trust and thought have gone into it. Period. After that, all is left to the Dominant. No challenging his decisions. You have given control and that is that."
I actually don't disagree with the first part of this, consent not being debated at every turn.... And he seems to understand that this consent is not given at the drop of a hat, so we'll give him that one... Up until the point where the submissive doesn't feel as if she is getting what she signed up for, or perhaps no longer getting it. Then guess what happens?
"Withdraw your consent and the relationship is at a end."
Yeah, no shit? I think that's rather a clue the relationship is at an end. She don't want you no mo'. Hey, at least he's not one of those, "no hope of release" sort of folks.. although this next bit rather seems to indicate it's what he'd prefer.
"I Believe you should conceptualize this as a Roller Coaster Ride. Once started, you cannot stop in the middle of the ride and say " This is too steep! Let me off!" You either ride the ride to the end or don't get on."
And now, the comment that is reponsible for the nickname tootrue2 gave him.
What an absolute assinine comment to make. Especially when it comes on the heels of his own words about withdrawing consent. Withdrawing consent is something he doesn't feel should be an option.
"For those of you who approach a Dominant with a long list of limits, perhaps you should rethink your orientation. Most submissive limits lists are nothing more than a sad attempt to top from the bottom."
Awww shit, and hereeeeeeee we go! The old tried and true fallback to explain anything not of their ideals of submissive behavior, "topping from the bottom." Because DAMMIT, a submissive should NEVER have the sort of fucking intelligence or self worth (Preservation?)it takes to say, "You know, I don't want certain things to be done to me."
Heh, let's couple that topping from the bottom comment with the last two lines of his profile...
"I am prepared to accept supplications from an INTELLIGENT submissive/slave that desire to expand their real time personal experiences."
Dude, You really shouldn't say you're seeking someone who is intelligent... And then go off on rants about when they actually use said intelligence you say you seek, to determine that perhaps there are certain activities or parts of this scene they don't want to explore.
No, really I get what you're saying, though.. By "intelligent" you mean someone who recognizes you for the all encompassing, all knowing MASTER you are, right?
All right then, let's move along to Motorcycle Dom.. This is a 50 male dominant in Massachusetts. Point of interest, tootrue2 does the majority of her posts about those in Mass, but i've seen some recent ones from other places, look out :-P
.
This cat is looking for the "total package" and tootrue2 rips his ass for some of the things said slave must be when he's not exactly the total package himself..
Now, after reading this guys profile, there's some fucking funny shit in there beginning with the paragragh that starts out with, "About me:"
Just WOW!! Works in the hotel industry in upper management, UPPER fucking MANANGEMENT!!.. A scuba diving "dive master".. a black belt in Tae Kwon Do, PLUS!!! a former member of the armed forces, the Green Berets.
Eh I really wish you assholes who claim to have been a Navy Seal, or a Ranger or anything of the sort would get it that the sort of person who was REALLY a member of those organizations generally don't talk about it. They don't use that shit to get laid is what I mean. And how come no one ever puts in their profile that they were a supply clerk in the Army?
Right, the one picture of this guy is of a errrr.... typical white collar type,*smirk* jeans and Patriot's jacket, snot rag hanging from a pocket.. You know, the sort of shit upper management types tend to wear when they go out in public and pose for photos in front of buildings.
Seriously, being an accounting clerk at a medium sized hotel is NOT upper management. Besides, why even mention you're in fucking upper management (tranlates into, "makes the big bucks", don't deny it, dipshit.) then go on to state you refuse to be someone's sugar daddy? Dude, making the big bucks is the only fucking chance someone like you has to find the head turning total package you want.
Anyhow, there is one line in this profile that flat out tells you this moron is totally clueless..
"I am strict and very demanding, I hate failure in a submissive /slave."
Now, what exactly can be construed as failure in a submissive or slave when the prevailing opinion of the community at large, (Not that i've polled them but I believe most would ageee on this) is that a submissive or slave directly reflects upon the dominant, yes, yes?
So that means if there is a failure, guess whose fault it is? It has to be the dominant's seeing as the general consensus for this type of person is that the submissive is basically nothing without her dominant to "guide" her on her journey.
And why is it these sorts feel the need to add one or more photos of some hot woman in their profile, in some wide open pose?
Hmmm, I must have writer's block the past few months.. All of a sudden the lulz are just jumping out at me in profiles i've seen before but didn't see the funny in them..
I'm not gonna speculate too much.. just gonna keep on keeping on..
Laterz
Monday, May 7, 2012
I'm going to start this one off by talking about something that has nothing to do with CM or BDSM...
The Rock n Roll Hall of Pretentious Critics. AKA, The Rock n Roll Hall of Fame. I think it's a great idea to enshrine some of Rock n Roll's greats in a Hall of Fame. But, I simply cannot take them seriously when they induct someone such as Laura Nyro and the Beastie Boys, and bands like Kiss, Rush, and Jethro Tull are snubbed year after year.
Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with Laura Nyro being enshrined in this hallowed (snicker) institution, and I only laugh a little (OKay, a lot) when I hear the name of the Beastie Boys and Hall of Fame in the same breath. But come on!
Here are the criteria for enshrinement.
"Artists become eligible for induction 25 years after the release of their first record. Criteria include the influence and significance of the artists’ contributions to the development and perpetuation of rock and roll.
The Foundation’s nominating committee, composed of rock and roll historians, selects nominees each year in the Performer category. Ballots are then sent to an international voting body of more than 500 rock experts. Those performers who receive the highest number of votes - and more than 50 percent of the vote - are inducted. The Foundation generally inducts five to seven performers each year."
Like them or not, how can any reasonable person say that a band like Kiss doesn't belong in such a Hall of Fame using that criteria?
Kiss are a prime example of a band making it big without being critically acclaimed. In fact, critics do not like Kiss at all, so they took their case to the ones who REALLY matter, the people.They're the ultimate road warriors.
The one thing Kiss did the critics actually liked was an album no Kiss fan wanted in 1981,(Note to Kiss: We want it NOW.. Play The Fucking Oath for fuck's fake!) and an album the band still distances themselves from. Especially the sort of critics who get to vote on who gets enshrined. Make no mistake, these are not "rock experts" doing the voting, these are hand picked by Rolling Stone magazine.
Okay, i'm a Kiss fan and I admit this freely, but how about some of these other acts who are not in the hall of fame?
Joan Baez. Joe Cocker. Deep Purple. Devo. The Guess Who. Stevie Ray Vaughn. Joan Jett. Styx. Moody Blues. Warren Zevon. Jethro Tull, and Rush. There are others of course, that's just a small example of the sort of acts excluded while The Beastie Boys are inducted.
Rolling Stone magazine contributor Dave Marsh, who is on the Hall of Fame nominating committee said this once of KISS:
"Kiss is not a great band, Kiss was never a great band, Kiss never will be a great band, and I have done my share to keep them off the ballot."--Dave Marsh, Rolling Stone Magazine."
Kiss are not great musicians, a fact Gene Simmons stated himself way back in the 70's. But not a great band? C'mon man.
My only hope is that when/if they ever do selct Kiss for enshrinement, Kiss will do the right thing and decline the "honor." But knowing Gene Simmons, it will trigger a classic Kiss marketing blitz hyping it to the moon and beyond. And why not? Hype is what their brand of Rock n Roll is all about, no one does it better and they've been doing it 40 years.
Best of all? They deliver on all the hype.
Right then, back to our regularily scheduled bit of satire.
For some reason, the profile of MstressAriel is no longer there. Deleted or just lost? Hmm, Seems strange that the real profile gets deleted and the joke profile remains untouched. At least of this writing, it's still there. The UltimateDomme profile I mean.
Perhaps that will change now that i'm mentioning it. I've honestly not expected the UltimateDomme profile to last as long as it did, that it has while the profile containing my real identity gets deleted is frankly pretty fucking funny.
Now, if UD ever does get deleted from CollarMe, i'll not be waging some sort of campaign to protest or anything like that. In fact if that happens UltimateDomme will simply cease to exist. Really, if a CM Admin had ever messaged and told me to cool it with my blog, I would have.
I got a message from an 18 male dominant from Gillingham,Kent in the UK.. The message itself was nothing more that an offer for a partnership. Well wait, here it is.
"hey there beautiful. fancy a partnership"
The profile is empty with the exception of one photo. Try to imagine the Harry Potter actor in say the 2nd movie in the series, give him blonde hair instead of black and you get this kid.
No no, this kid seriously looks like he is no more than 12 years old. Now you know I just HAD to mention this to him...
"Shouldn't you be out playing football for your Jr. High School?"
Right then, by football I of course mean soccer because really a mousey 12 year old Harry Potter lookalike has no business putting on the pads and playing American Football, but that's off point.
So what IS the point, you ask? The same as it was before, looks may not be everything, but there's no way possible anyone could take someone claiming to be a dominant seriously who looks like his only worry should be whether or not he will pass 7th grade math.
Here's a profile that starts out by uniquely stating right up front that he is married and is only seeking online.. and after the usual nonsense about his wife being vanilla and all that crap he goes on to state that his perfect fit would be someone who is also seeking strictly online. So far so good, yes?
It's a 26 male dominant in Florida and after the above introduction the profile then heads out in another direction.. He speaks a little of his D/s ideas and the like.. and then goes on to list TWENTY-SIX, yes 26 requirements for his "strictly online" slave.
1. Fully Bisexual. 2. Good Appearance. 3. Duties such as cooking and cleaning. 4.Poly. 5.STD Free. 6.Possible for kids later on. 7.He claims the right to dictate tattoos/piercings. 8.Work is undecided. 9.His limits, doesn't care about yours. 10. Pain.. expect it. 11.Limited puclic display. 12.Humiliation, expect it. 13. Dress.. Of course to his specification. 14. Orgasms, don't expect many. 15.Punishment, but of course. 16. Breasts, unless you have DD naturals or implants, you'll be taking breast enlargement pills. 17. Healthcare, he will provide. 18. Slave Hierarchy. 19. If you're a switch you may be permitted to domiante other slaves, but never expect to be dominant over HIM.. oh no no.. 19 again, Hair, on head, yes. all other places, no. 20. Full service. 21. You will practice good hygiene at all times. 22. Safe Sex, bareback always perferred but anyone you fuck will have been tested. 23. Obedience, this should be your only pleasure, obeying. 24. Safe word okay in the beginning, but not later. 25. Recruitment, you will be required at all times to be on the lookout. 26. Your attitude, must be respectful toward him..
Yeah, it was actually 27 since 19 was used twice. Those are just the bullet points, this cat gives an explanation of each one. It's a long profile.
Eh.. errrr.. All of this for a strictly online relationship?
Find this profile and you'll also be treated to a journal entry detailing your first three days with him.... It's written as if this is actually happening in a face to face meeting, and it talks of not being fed and kept in the kennel for 72 hours.. so on and so forth..
One of the funniest profiles i've seen in awhile.
And now a disclaimer. The writer of this blog claims or accepts no responsibility for you spewing liquids out of your nose while reading this blog. This is simply a friendly reminder about drinking diet pepsi (Or anything else) while reading my ramblings... Even if you are the owner of my new favorite profile.
Heh, one of the three alberta fakes has flown the coop. WendyWendyWendy has moved from Alberta and is now located in Connecticut, USA. Oh dear me. Hmmm, wonder if he moved to be closer to Cory4u who of course relocated his profile to Minnesota? Heh. he put new photos up of a completely different person.
Moving right along... here's a 55 female submissive in Pennsylvania and the profile itself is nothing out of the ordinary, but her latest journal entry is a bit.. errr.. dramatic.
"It recently came to my attention that my password had been STOLEN on another site that i was on a lot by someone I trusted with my life and loved with all my heart! I will never trust or love again....."
You trusted them with your life and loved with all your heart.... Yet your issue here is your password on another kink site was stolen? Are you sure you don't mean you gave him the password and he did some naughty things with your photos on that other site?
But never trust or love again because your password on a kink site got hijacked by someone? Let's keep it in perspective, miss Drama Queen.
Here's a little something from the Truth in Advertising files.
This person's name (A financial cunt just to point it out) is DoWhatYourTold24. Here's the first line of the profile.
"IN NEED OF A ENGLISH HOMEWORK BITCH!"
MmmHmm. Yes, I'd say that is something you're very much in need of finding.
Ah, not too much to say this time around.. I just woke up this morning and decided I wanted to make a new post. Pretty sick that I can just decide that and be able to find the lulz to post that quickly huh?
Right then.. laterz.
The Rock n Roll Hall of Pretentious Critics. AKA, The Rock n Roll Hall of Fame. I think it's a great idea to enshrine some of Rock n Roll's greats in a Hall of Fame. But, I simply cannot take them seriously when they induct someone such as Laura Nyro and the Beastie Boys, and bands like Kiss, Rush, and Jethro Tull are snubbed year after year.
Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with Laura Nyro being enshrined in this hallowed (snicker) institution, and I only laugh a little (OKay, a lot) when I hear the name of the Beastie Boys and Hall of Fame in the same breath. But come on!
Here are the criteria for enshrinement.
"Artists become eligible for induction 25 years after the release of their first record. Criteria include the influence and significance of the artists’ contributions to the development and perpetuation of rock and roll.
The Foundation’s nominating committee, composed of rock and roll historians, selects nominees each year in the Performer category. Ballots are then sent to an international voting body of more than 500 rock experts. Those performers who receive the highest number of votes - and more than 50 percent of the vote - are inducted. The Foundation generally inducts five to seven performers each year."
Like them or not, how can any reasonable person say that a band like Kiss doesn't belong in such a Hall of Fame using that criteria?
Kiss are a prime example of a band making it big without being critically acclaimed. In fact, critics do not like Kiss at all, so they took their case to the ones who REALLY matter, the people.They're the ultimate road warriors.
The one thing Kiss did the critics actually liked was an album no Kiss fan wanted in 1981,(Note to Kiss: We want it NOW.. Play The Fucking Oath for fuck's fake!) and an album the band still distances themselves from. Especially the sort of critics who get to vote on who gets enshrined. Make no mistake, these are not "rock experts" doing the voting, these are hand picked by Rolling Stone magazine.
Okay, i'm a Kiss fan and I admit this freely, but how about some of these other acts who are not in the hall of fame?
Joan Baez. Joe Cocker. Deep Purple. Devo. The Guess Who. Stevie Ray Vaughn. Joan Jett. Styx. Moody Blues. Warren Zevon. Jethro Tull, and Rush. There are others of course, that's just a small example of the sort of acts excluded while The Beastie Boys are inducted.
Rolling Stone magazine contributor Dave Marsh, who is on the Hall of Fame nominating committee said this once of KISS:
"Kiss is not a great band, Kiss was never a great band, Kiss never will be a great band, and I have done my share to keep them off the ballot."--Dave Marsh, Rolling Stone Magazine."
Kiss are not great musicians, a fact Gene Simmons stated himself way back in the 70's. But not a great band? C'mon man.
My only hope is that when/if they ever do selct Kiss for enshrinement, Kiss will do the right thing and decline the "honor." But knowing Gene Simmons, it will trigger a classic Kiss marketing blitz hyping it to the moon and beyond. And why not? Hype is what their brand of Rock n Roll is all about, no one does it better and they've been doing it 40 years.
Best of all? They deliver on all the hype.
Right then, back to our regularily scheduled bit of satire.
For some reason, the profile of MstressAriel is no longer there. Deleted or just lost? Hmm, Seems strange that the real profile gets deleted and the joke profile remains untouched. At least of this writing, it's still there. The UltimateDomme profile I mean.
Perhaps that will change now that i'm mentioning it. I've honestly not expected the UltimateDomme profile to last as long as it did, that it has while the profile containing my real identity gets deleted is frankly pretty fucking funny.
Now, if UD ever does get deleted from CollarMe, i'll not be waging some sort of campaign to protest or anything like that. In fact if that happens UltimateDomme will simply cease to exist. Really, if a CM Admin had ever messaged and told me to cool it with my blog, I would have.
I got a message from an 18 male dominant from Gillingham,Kent in the UK.. The message itself was nothing more that an offer for a partnership. Well wait, here it is.
"hey there beautiful. fancy a partnership"
The profile is empty with the exception of one photo. Try to imagine the Harry Potter actor in say the 2nd movie in the series, give him blonde hair instead of black and you get this kid.
No no, this kid seriously looks like he is no more than 12 years old. Now you know I just HAD to mention this to him...
"Shouldn't you be out playing football for your Jr. High School?"
Right then, by football I of course mean soccer because really a mousey 12 year old Harry Potter lookalike has no business putting on the pads and playing American Football, but that's off point.
So what IS the point, you ask? The same as it was before, looks may not be everything, but there's no way possible anyone could take someone claiming to be a dominant seriously who looks like his only worry should be whether or not he will pass 7th grade math.
Here's a profile that starts out by uniquely stating right up front that he is married and is only seeking online.. and after the usual nonsense about his wife being vanilla and all that crap he goes on to state that his perfect fit would be someone who is also seeking strictly online. So far so good, yes?
It's a 26 male dominant in Florida and after the above introduction the profile then heads out in another direction.. He speaks a little of his D/s ideas and the like.. and then goes on to list TWENTY-SIX, yes 26 requirements for his "strictly online" slave.
1. Fully Bisexual. 2. Good Appearance. 3. Duties such as cooking and cleaning. 4.Poly. 5.STD Free. 6.Possible for kids later on. 7.He claims the right to dictate tattoos/piercings. 8.Work is undecided. 9.His limits, doesn't care about yours. 10. Pain.. expect it. 11.Limited puclic display. 12.Humiliation, expect it. 13. Dress.. Of course to his specification. 14. Orgasms, don't expect many. 15.Punishment, but of course. 16. Breasts, unless you have DD naturals or implants, you'll be taking breast enlargement pills. 17. Healthcare, he will provide. 18. Slave Hierarchy. 19. If you're a switch you may be permitted to domiante other slaves, but never expect to be dominant over HIM.. oh no no.. 19 again, Hair, on head, yes. all other places, no. 20. Full service. 21. You will practice good hygiene at all times. 22. Safe Sex, bareback always perferred but anyone you fuck will have been tested. 23. Obedience, this should be your only pleasure, obeying. 24. Safe word okay in the beginning, but not later. 25. Recruitment, you will be required at all times to be on the lookout. 26. Your attitude, must be respectful toward him..
Yeah, it was actually 27 since 19 was used twice. Those are just the bullet points, this cat gives an explanation of each one. It's a long profile.
Eh.. errrr.. All of this for a strictly online relationship?
Find this profile and you'll also be treated to a journal entry detailing your first three days with him.... It's written as if this is actually happening in a face to face meeting, and it talks of not being fed and kept in the kennel for 72 hours.. so on and so forth..
One of the funniest profiles i've seen in awhile.
And now a disclaimer. The writer of this blog claims or accepts no responsibility for you spewing liquids out of your nose while reading this blog. This is simply a friendly reminder about drinking diet pepsi (Or anything else) while reading my ramblings... Even if you are the owner of my new favorite profile.
Heh, one of the three alberta fakes has flown the coop. WendyWendyWendy has moved from Alberta and is now located in Connecticut, USA. Oh dear me. Hmmm, wonder if he moved to be closer to Cory4u who of course relocated his profile to Minnesota? Heh. he put new photos up of a completely different person.
Moving right along... here's a 55 female submissive in Pennsylvania and the profile itself is nothing out of the ordinary, but her latest journal entry is a bit.. errr.. dramatic.
"It recently came to my attention that my password had been STOLEN on another site that i was on a lot by someone I trusted with my life and loved with all my heart! I will never trust or love again....."
You trusted them with your life and loved with all your heart.... Yet your issue here is your password on another kink site was stolen? Are you sure you don't mean you gave him the password and he did some naughty things with your photos on that other site?
But never trust or love again because your password on a kink site got hijacked by someone? Let's keep it in perspective, miss Drama Queen.
Here's a little something from the Truth in Advertising files.
This person's name (A financial cunt just to point it out) is DoWhatYourTold24. Here's the first line of the profile.
"IN NEED OF A ENGLISH HOMEWORK BITCH!"
MmmHmm. Yes, I'd say that is something you're very much in need of finding.
Ah, not too much to say this time around.. I just woke up this morning and decided I wanted to make a new post. Pretty sick that I can just decide that and be able to find the lulz to post that quickly huh?
Right then.. laterz.
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