There are about 4 of 5 people out there who have been messaging me and even though i've told them the profile is complete satire, they just don't seem to get it.
One such person in particular is someone who according to his name likes his politics of the communistic variety. (Well, that's what I take RedPolitician to mean, but who knows) This cat says in his profile he is a former Navy Master at Arms. For those who don't know what that rating is, it involves law enforcement and recently the rating as been expanded to include antiterrorism.
This scares the shit out of me seeing as this particular individual who after being told twice that my profile was a total joke wanted to know how I what happened at the Chateau that caused me to realize I am a Mistress and not a slave. THIS guy was involved in antiterrorism?!? Oh hell no!
Well, fortunately he is a FORMER Master at Arms, so the world is a little safer....I hope.
Ah, I changed my profile from Domme to switch and apparently some folks are watching because i've gotten a few messages wondering why I did it. One person rightly pointed out that a "Mistress of the Highest Order" would not be a switch. Yes, I replied that a Mistress of the Highest Order would also likely be significantly older than 24 seeing as in the Old Guard ways it rather takes a long time to reach the top of the mountain.
*sigh* And then this guy messages back and wants to know all about my three weeks with the Asian and European masters, and here I thought it was someone with something on the ball.
You're getting verryyyyyyyyyyy sleepy.. your eyes are getting heavy... yes... yes.... when I snap my fingers you will fall into a deep sleep...
*SNAP!*
Right then, now you're under my spell and it's time for you to do some things for me. Yes, just sit tight while I whip out this list of shit i'm going to have you do.
Uh huh, just after I posted my last entry on 9-26-10 I got a message on CM from an adorable submissive and she has had some umm, encounters of the hypnotic sort.
Well one in particular she told me about was getting a recording to listen to and afterward the guy kept sending her messages wanting to know how it felt and the effect it had on her. She goes on to say in her email to me that the fact she didn't message the guy in her trancelike state should tell you how well it worked on her.
Now to tell you all the effect it DID have on her, she peed all over herself while listening to the recording from the hypnodom.... No that isn't quite right... She was laughing so hard she nearly peed all over herself, yeah that's it.
Soooooooo to the hpynodom who sent out this recording, i'm going to go out on a limb here and say you missed the mark on this one. Back to the drawing board with you. As far as the submissive, i'd tell you who she is but i'm keeping her for myself, maybe i'll try to hypnotise her.. Hmmmm.
She also said something about a "virtualdom." Now I don't know exactly what that is but apparently no one actually owns you. You send a list of your wants and needs and some computer program spits out tasks for you. Ummm, okay now is anyone else picturing HAL9000 as the dominant in this scenario?
"Open the pod bay doors, Hal."
"I cannot do that, Dave. You failed to address me with proper protocol. I'm afraid i'll have to discipline you."
A moment later the life support system gets cut off, naughty Dave is being disciplined. Damn, HAL is sure a strict one, eh?
Anyone remember Xena: Warrior Princess?
Hmm, how many of you thought that with all the trouble that pretty little Gabrielle got them into Xena should have had her right over her knee for a sound spanking or twelve? That would have been a fun episode to watch.
Show of hands now, how many of you have ever said something like, "If that Britney Spears or Paris Hilton were my daughter she'd be eating dinner standing up tonight?"
There are many profiles where people complain about the fakes. Moreover, there are many profiles that mention the fact CM does nothing about it. Anyone who has been on the site for a significant amount of time knows it used to be pictures had to be approved and there were definite guidelines or the picture would not be approved. That's gone, no longer are pictures subject to approval.
So, why doesn't CM expend a lot of energy keeping fakes off of the site while on the other hand they will ban those such as that guy Nimbus who runs that blog I posted the link to in my blog? As a point of interest the current name Nimbus uses is Nimbus6 after Nimbus, Numbus1 and Nimbus2 have been banned.
And it's not as if CM isn't aware of the scammers and what have you seeing as they even give you a warning about sending money to people along with that list of known scams. They'll delete the scammers if reported though.
The answer is because CM isn't there to simply be a free place for BDSMers to meet each other. No, CM is there to make money which is why there are a lot of links and even sell videos and gear. Do you think CM gives a fuck if the person who buys a video is a male pretending to be a female?
People just have to understand it's a free site and there really isn't a lot that can be done about fakes on the site. While the effort of Nimbus is admirable the stated goal of his blog to clear out the fakes is a goal destined to fail. I say just make fun of them, it works for me.
On to the profiles to see what we can find. a 50 year old domme looking for a submissive woman. This person has a very specific and not negotible procedure that is 5 parts.
1. They chat using the chat feature of CM to see if they're compatible.
2. The submissive appears on webcam and the discussions will continue.
3. The submission begins online using the webcam feature on the site.
4. Domme appears on the webcam and the online submission continues.
5. They set up the real life meeting to coninue the submission in person.
Great, nice and compartmentalized wouldn't you say? Here's a domme you can probably count on to be quite structured and exact.
Now, how much chance do any of you believe there is of ever getting past number three on that list? I say.. oh.. ZERO.. LOL.
Ever hear that redneck joke about a guy posting in a singles forum that he was looking for someone who could cook.. etc.. and she has to have a truck.. in the end he says, "include picture of the truck." Right then.. There's a 40 something submissive in Texas and among her pictures is a photo of a pickup truck. I don't know, I just found that funny in my usual warped way.
A 53 year old domme woman who apparently is also an over the road driver. She has a picture of her rig in a motel parking lot.. stretched out over two handicapped spaces. There was no trailer attached to this woman's rig, it was just the tractor. You insensitive cunt!
Hey folks, feel free to message me on CM if you want to point out something that's funny or whatever. If I agree it'll end up here lol.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Sunday, September 26, 2010
9-26-2010. I'm up WAYYYYY too early.
So tell me, how many DOMS does it take to change a lightbulb?
Oh please, as if a lightbulb would dare to burn out on a DOM!!
Have you ever noticed at just how many Doms on collarme cannot resist pointing out on their profiles that they are a TRUE Dom, Unlike most others on the site. Of course then they have to go on to point out the qualities they possess the others do not. Not that they know any of these other Doms but just sayin'.
Well, they're largely full of shit but it's lulz worthy to see those profiles.
If a submissive woman were to post a journal entry detailing a bad experience with someone she met, those "true doms" will be right there with a message to them and this is when the snake in the grass begins to show itself.
Oh the message will be full of empathy for that poor soul who had the bad experience. Without knowing the details this lowlife will tell the submissive just how bad of a person that other dom was. (Doms don't like each other for some reason) Then the sneaky fucker will trot out the phrase, "Now me on the other hand.."
He knows the submissive is vulnerable and the predator instincts come right to the fore like a bird of prey swooping down upon dinner. Watch out for these slimy bastards, they'll fuck you up worse than you already are. But then again if you're going to post something like that you're likely looking for the attention and someone else to blame your fucked up life and bad decisions upon.
No really, no matter what role you take for yourself some of you should learn that you do not abdicate the responsility for the decisions you make. If you make the decision to get hooked up with someone who fucks your head up, take some time to figure out how it happened. More often than not it will have been someone you took very little time to get to know beforehand.
In the wonderful world of the fake lesbians, the "dommes" have a weapon in their arsenal. It's the fact they ARE THE MISTRESS. Ah, so when the FLD (Fake lesbian dominant) tells the submissive that they will be required to preform on the webcam but they may not expect the FLD to do the same.. Because.. All together now.. THEY ARE THE MISTRESS!! And if you don't like it, move along. You have to wonder how often this works for them, eh?
I've recently gotten a message from the FLD who calls himself "MsStrict77". He sent me a very nice one line message that said I had a nice submissive face. More than likely he was jerking off while looking at the picture, ewwww.
Welllllllll.. Silly me just couldn't resist replying and saying that the pictures on his profile look like a slut and wondered if I should come to that conclusion. He didn't like that for some reason. Probably because I called him an idiot, but who knows.. Oh well.
A quick update, the profile of that financial cunt I mentioned earlier Maids4Mistress is no longer there. I wonder if someone from CM is reading my shit, saw the name and kicked the lazy cunt off the site? Wouldn't that be the shit?
Oh yes, to that dipshit I mentioned in an earlier post who said he knew the owner and that I was reported. Fuck you, my profile is still there, asshole.
If you Dom guys looking for submissive girls think you have it bad, you should see what sub guys looking for Dom women have to go through. Some of these women take "I've got the pussy and will use it to my advantage" to incredible lengths. Here's an example of a great double standard taken from the journal of a 29 year old quite pretty Domme.
"Although I may not be the best at proper grammar, spelling, or punctuation, I expect those who contact me to use it, or I will not even give the slightest consideration."
Of course you KNOW what would happen if you were to challenge this woman with the golden pussy on this, don't you?
No matter if you're dom or sub, you fellas are always going to be the supplicant and there's no two ways about it. You see there was this thing in the late 60' and early 70's called the "Women's Liberation Movement" and this put a definite end to the 50's household idea. Oh, still obtainable but the omnipotent vagina is the ultimate scale tipper along with cash.
I was just looking at a profile of a dominant who of course was looking for the one and all that stuff, but something about his picture just.... well.. He's standing there wearing some sort of hood, and it looks like it was made of cloth and not leather. When I saw the picture I had the impression this image would be the one you'd see on a ransom demand video.
Yes, there are many who say they cannot post a picture of their face because of their job or something like that. But the thought occurs to me that if these people you're afraid to have see you on collarme ARE seeing you, what does it say about them eh? It COULD be they are someone you want to know. What, are you afraid your 19 year old neice is going to call you one day and say, "Guess where I saw your picture, Uncle Gomer?"
MSDOS message and prompt:
File not found.
(A)bort (R)etry (I)gnore (P)unish slave.
Oh dear ladies, I have to give you all a warning.. There's a dom called Buckiswild and he's using a diabolical means of luring unsuspecting women into his web.. He has chocolate!! Step lightly around him, it's a trap I say..a TRAP!
There's an 18 year old submissive in the Philippines called "slavemolina" and there's just something not quite right about her. I don't mean the obvious that it's someone trying to bilk some people out of money (Even though she assures us in her profile she is not a scammer.) No, it's the pictures on her profile. SOmething is just not quite right about them. You'd have to check the profile to see what I mean, but to me it looks like the face of a four-year-old.
Okay then, before I go i'd like someone to drop a message to EroticaMan and tell him 1977 called and they want their clothes back. Or maybe i'll do it myself, just for teh lulz.
Oh please, as if a lightbulb would dare to burn out on a DOM!!
Have you ever noticed at just how many Doms on collarme cannot resist pointing out on their profiles that they are a TRUE Dom, Unlike most others on the site. Of course then they have to go on to point out the qualities they possess the others do not. Not that they know any of these other Doms but just sayin'.
Well, they're largely full of shit but it's lulz worthy to see those profiles.
If a submissive woman were to post a journal entry detailing a bad experience with someone she met, those "true doms" will be right there with a message to them and this is when the snake in the grass begins to show itself.
Oh the message will be full of empathy for that poor soul who had the bad experience. Without knowing the details this lowlife will tell the submissive just how bad of a person that other dom was. (Doms don't like each other for some reason) Then the sneaky fucker will trot out the phrase, "Now me on the other hand.."
He knows the submissive is vulnerable and the predator instincts come right to the fore like a bird of prey swooping down upon dinner. Watch out for these slimy bastards, they'll fuck you up worse than you already are. But then again if you're going to post something like that you're likely looking for the attention and someone else to blame your fucked up life and bad decisions upon.
No really, no matter what role you take for yourself some of you should learn that you do not abdicate the responsility for the decisions you make. If you make the decision to get hooked up with someone who fucks your head up, take some time to figure out how it happened. More often than not it will have been someone you took very little time to get to know beforehand.
In the wonderful world of the fake lesbians, the "dommes" have a weapon in their arsenal. It's the fact they ARE THE MISTRESS. Ah, so when the FLD (Fake lesbian dominant) tells the submissive that they will be required to preform on the webcam but they may not expect the FLD to do the same.. Because.. All together now.. THEY ARE THE MISTRESS!! And if you don't like it, move along. You have to wonder how often this works for them, eh?
I've recently gotten a message from the FLD who calls himself "MsStrict77". He sent me a very nice one line message that said I had a nice submissive face. More than likely he was jerking off while looking at the picture, ewwww.
Welllllllll.. Silly me just couldn't resist replying and saying that the pictures on his profile look like a slut and wondered if I should come to that conclusion. He didn't like that for some reason. Probably because I called him an idiot, but who knows.. Oh well.
A quick update, the profile of that financial cunt I mentioned earlier Maids4Mistress is no longer there. I wonder if someone from CM is reading my shit, saw the name and kicked the lazy cunt off the site? Wouldn't that be the shit?
Oh yes, to that dipshit I mentioned in an earlier post who said he knew the owner and that I was reported. Fuck you, my profile is still there, asshole.
If you Dom guys looking for submissive girls think you have it bad, you should see what sub guys looking for Dom women have to go through. Some of these women take "I've got the pussy and will use it to my advantage" to incredible lengths. Here's an example of a great double standard taken from the journal of a 29 year old quite pretty Domme.
"Although I may not be the best at proper grammar, spelling, or punctuation, I expect those who contact me to use it, or I will not even give the slightest consideration."
Of course you KNOW what would happen if you were to challenge this woman with the golden pussy on this, don't you?
No matter if you're dom or sub, you fellas are always going to be the supplicant and there's no two ways about it. You see there was this thing in the late 60' and early 70's called the "Women's Liberation Movement" and this put a definite end to the 50's household idea. Oh, still obtainable but the omnipotent vagina is the ultimate scale tipper along with cash.
I was just looking at a profile of a dominant who of course was looking for the one and all that stuff, but something about his picture just.... well.. He's standing there wearing some sort of hood, and it looks like it was made of cloth and not leather. When I saw the picture I had the impression this image would be the one you'd see on a ransom demand video.
Yes, there are many who say they cannot post a picture of their face because of their job or something like that. But the thought occurs to me that if these people you're afraid to have see you on collarme ARE seeing you, what does it say about them eh? It COULD be they are someone you want to know. What, are you afraid your 19 year old neice is going to call you one day and say, "Guess where I saw your picture, Uncle Gomer?"
MSDOS message and prompt:
File not found.
(A)bort (R)etry (I)gnore (P)unish slave.
Oh dear ladies, I have to give you all a warning.. There's a dom called Buckiswild and he's using a diabolical means of luring unsuspecting women into his web.. He has chocolate!! Step lightly around him, it's a trap I say..a TRAP!
There's an 18 year old submissive in the Philippines called "slavemolina" and there's just something not quite right about her. I don't mean the obvious that it's someone trying to bilk some people out of money (Even though she assures us in her profile she is not a scammer.) No, it's the pictures on her profile. SOmething is just not quite right about them. You'd have to check the profile to see what I mean, but to me it looks like the face of a four-year-old.
Okay then, before I go i'd like someone to drop a message to EroticaMan and tell him 1977 called and they want their clothes back. Or maybe i'll do it myself, just for teh lulz.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
9-7-2010 Yeah, I know the date is already there.
Oh dear me, just after I posted my last entry I got a quite tearful email
on CM from someone who felt he must object to my profile and journals. He
said that they are snide and abrasive, and it seems that I do not take into
account there are real people behind the words and I am trampling on
people's feelings. (sniff)
So, aside from some very funny worded profiles where I don't even call out
the name, who am I picking on the most? Financial dommes, and fake
lesbians. Well, the financial dommes we already know don't give a fuck
about anything and the fake lesbians won't think twice about destroying
someone if they were to somehow get involved with someone who is real.
So to that crybaby "Sator Arepo Tenet Opera Rotas", (Psst, that's a
palindrome) who sent me that message on Collarme, i'll tell you the same
thing I told you in my reply to you there. If you don't like it, don't read
the fucking thing, get it?
Oh and i'll bet you can't guess where that guy is from. I'll give you a
hint, Mississippi. Big shocker, huh?
From another email I got a couple of weeks ago, this guy wonders what the
deal is when he sees someone's profile and they seek local only. Especially
interesting is when they seek local only, have been on collarme for a good
amount of time and live in East Gooseberry, ND or something like that.
It occurs to me if you in fact live in East Gooseberry, ND (I have no idea
if such a place exists) you've probably enountered the other three people
in your area who are on CM and have disqualified those two fake lesbians
and that Dom who wants to keep you in a cage 24/7. The idea of finding
someone local is long gone. I think after a couple of years it just may be
time to think about expanding your search a little.
There's a cat on CM who goes by the name of Nimbus1, and this person is
running the pictures they find against some program he has access to and is
posting the results on his blog as he's taken up the mantle of sheriff,
good for him! :-)
http://collarmebusts.blogspot.com/
He's got an impressive list of names that he's called out as fakes. I must
say i'm kind of impressed, but it's not as if they are like hard to spot
anyway. Come on now, do we really need to run an image through some search
program to know those extremely hot lesbians and ghana slaves aren't real?
Still it's a pretty good read, you may want to have a look. If you find the
name of that hot woman you've been chatting up on that blog, you just may
wish to start asking questions.
Okay on to the other topics. My all time favorite profile and I forget the
name, maybe you've seen it. This profile contains two words. "Hello
everyone" or "Hello all" something of the sort. She has a journal entry
that says, "These one line messages are starting to annoy me."
Umm, okay.
This from an "Elusivemistres" in the UK. She wishes all to know if she has
looked at your profile but hasn't sent you a message it's not that she
isn't interested, but rather she simply doesn't have the time to write
messages.
Oh you lying bitch. If you have time to browse profiles you have time to
write messages. And you're a fucking fake lesbian.. change your shit to
submissive and go back to square one.. NOW!
Yo Nimbus, get that one on your blog. (giggle)
I got a message from someone who said he enjoyed the journals and that he
showed them to friends of his who in turn dared him to send me a message
thereby giving me the chance to have a go at his profile.... So I did.
Yeah, a pretty arrogant profile but checking out his pictures, this cat is
actually with someone so he appears able to back up the boasts. (Seriously,
how many "couple" profiles do you see out there where there are no photos
of said couple together?) I send him a reply basically saying that to him
and he sends back that he's won the dare and now he was going to be a
complete douche to his friends.
Well to the friends of DomAllen, you brought it on yourselves...Time to pay
the piper and other assorted cliches... LOL
I feel a little sorry for the people who actually go through the male to
female sex change, I mean actually getting it whacked off to become a
lesbian slave...Only to do what folks? You got it, run into the 95% fake
lesbians population on CM. That's worse than traveling across the country
to join your new master's poly family only to discover you're the only one
not inflatible.
Yes when you discover your sister slaves are blow up Seka dolls it's a good
bet you've been had.
There's another profile from a female slave that said her master was just
home from working in Iraq or one of those places and hasn't had anyone to
beat while he was gone. SOOOOOOOO, they are looking for a willing female to
share in the beatings. Good one, good one. It rather makes you wonder just
who this slave is trying to accomodate, her master, or herself to get out
some of those beatings master needs to give out now that he's home.
Here's one that just puts a funny picture in my head. This is an excerpt
from a 50 year old dom in California.
"You will live in an apartment near me and be available for use and abuse,
humiliations and slut pig fuck meat service during the week. I can't have a
livein slave as I'm married with children.
You of course will work as a slave should.
You will be nothing more than owned property and I will use you as I see
fit, With no regard to what you think about it."
Now i'll just bet he tried that shit with his wife and got an iron skillet
smacked across the head for his trouble. Once he got out of the casuality
ward he rethought his position and discovered the wonderful world of
collarme.
But slut pig fuck meat? Just ewwwwwww!
To all my friends in England, GLORY GLORY MANU!!
And I'll bet I have significantly less friends in England now.
on CM from someone who felt he must object to my profile and journals. He
said that they are snide and abrasive, and it seems that I do not take into
account there are real people behind the words and I am trampling on
people's feelings. (sniff)
So, aside from some very funny worded profiles where I don't even call out
the name, who am I picking on the most? Financial dommes, and fake
lesbians. Well, the financial dommes we already know don't give a fuck
about anything and the fake lesbians won't think twice about destroying
someone if they were to somehow get involved with someone who is real.
So to that crybaby "Sator Arepo Tenet Opera Rotas", (Psst, that's a
palindrome) who sent me that message on Collarme, i'll tell you the same
thing I told you in my reply to you there. If you don't like it, don't read
the fucking thing, get it?
Oh and i'll bet you can't guess where that guy is from. I'll give you a
hint, Mississippi. Big shocker, huh?
From another email I got a couple of weeks ago, this guy wonders what the
deal is when he sees someone's profile and they seek local only. Especially
interesting is when they seek local only, have been on collarme for a good
amount of time and live in East Gooseberry, ND or something like that.
It occurs to me if you in fact live in East Gooseberry, ND (I have no idea
if such a place exists) you've probably enountered the other three people
in your area who are on CM and have disqualified those two fake lesbians
and that Dom who wants to keep you in a cage 24/7. The idea of finding
someone local is long gone. I think after a couple of years it just may be
time to think about expanding your search a little.
There's a cat on CM who goes by the name of Nimbus1, and this person is
running the pictures they find against some program he has access to and is
posting the results on his blog as he's taken up the mantle of sheriff,
good for him! :-)
http://collarmebusts.blogspot.com/
He's got an impressive list of names that he's called out as fakes. I must
say i'm kind of impressed, but it's not as if they are like hard to spot
anyway. Come on now, do we really need to run an image through some search
program to know those extremely hot lesbians and ghana slaves aren't real?
Still it's a pretty good read, you may want to have a look. If you find the
name of that hot woman you've been chatting up on that blog, you just may
wish to start asking questions.
Okay on to the other topics. My all time favorite profile and I forget the
name, maybe you've seen it. This profile contains two words. "Hello
everyone" or "Hello all" something of the sort. She has a journal entry
that says, "These one line messages are starting to annoy me."
Umm, okay.
This from an "Elusivemistres" in the UK. She wishes all to know if she has
looked at your profile but hasn't sent you a message it's not that she
isn't interested, but rather she simply doesn't have the time to write
messages.
Oh you lying bitch. If you have time to browse profiles you have time to
write messages. And you're a fucking fake lesbian.. change your shit to
submissive and go back to square one.. NOW!
Yo Nimbus, get that one on your blog. (giggle)
I got a message from someone who said he enjoyed the journals and that he
showed them to friends of his who in turn dared him to send me a message
thereby giving me the chance to have a go at his profile.... So I did.
Yeah, a pretty arrogant profile but checking out his pictures, this cat is
actually with someone so he appears able to back up the boasts. (Seriously,
how many "couple" profiles do you see out there where there are no photos
of said couple together?) I send him a reply basically saying that to him
and he sends back that he's won the dare and now he was going to be a
complete douche to his friends.
Well to the friends of DomAllen, you brought it on yourselves...Time to pay
the piper and other assorted cliches... LOL
I feel a little sorry for the people who actually go through the male to
female sex change, I mean actually getting it whacked off to become a
lesbian slave...Only to do what folks? You got it, run into the 95% fake
lesbians population on CM. That's worse than traveling across the country
to join your new master's poly family only to discover you're the only one
not inflatible.
Yes when you discover your sister slaves are blow up Seka dolls it's a good
bet you've been had.
There's another profile from a female slave that said her master was just
home from working in Iraq or one of those places and hasn't had anyone to
beat while he was gone. SOOOOOOOO, they are looking for a willing female to
share in the beatings. Good one, good one. It rather makes you wonder just
who this slave is trying to accomodate, her master, or herself to get out
some of those beatings master needs to give out now that he's home.
Here's one that just puts a funny picture in my head. This is an excerpt
from a 50 year old dom in California.
"You will live in an apartment near me and be available for use and abuse,
humiliations and slut pig fuck meat service during the week. I can't have a
livein slave as I'm married with children.
You of course will work as a slave should.
You will be nothing more than owned property and I will use you as I see
fit, With no regard to what you think about it."
Now i'll just bet he tried that shit with his wife and got an iron skillet
smacked across the head for his trouble. Once he got out of the casuality
ward he rethought his position and discovered the wonderful world of
collarme.
But slut pig fuck meat? Just ewwwwwww!
To all my friends in England, GLORY GLORY MANU!!
And I'll bet I have significantly less friends in England now.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
And the band played on....
Oh, the answer to the song lyics I included in my last post on CM was Rhythm Of Life, sung by Sammy Davis Jr. in the movie Sweet Charity.
Well now, just to be clear i've left it possible for people to post
comments anonymously here. It will be interesting to see if people who have
been stung by anything I have posted have anything to say. I've gotten a
few messages of the sort but nothing really funny.
Well, except for one. I got my first message from one of those financial
domination cunts. Maids4Mistress decided to message and take a couple of
lame shots at my profile. Just to give a little background on this cunt's
profile she requires that an Amazon gift card be given to her before she
will reply to any message sent to her.
Great, so after two or three messages she sends one that says, "You know
some on here think you're a woman." My reply to her was, "Are there any
that think YOU are?" and all she sent back was a message that contained a
single period.
It's started to make me wonder just how many of these financial dommes are
in reality men, hmm.
I've also gotten a few messages from people who list their own insights.
Hey, let your shit come out.. Post it as a comment here and let's have some
fun.
Here's one that makes you go, "Hmm".. In an email one guy tells me about
someone in Brasil. This person at the beginning of her profile states that
she will not post in Spanish because it is an English speaking site. That's
right neighborly of her wouldn't you say?
However the guy who emailed me pointed out that while there may be people
in Brasil who speak Spanish the language of that country is Portuguese....
D'OH!!
Here's a story i've seen quite a few times in some of the profiles of
submissive women. They meet Mr. Dream Dom and after all the email
exchanging, chatting on Yahoo and the phone, they finally get together in
person. It goes wonderfully until Mr. Dream Dom decides it's time to logon
to CollarMe to check his messages and do some browsing.
What, did you think he was kidding when he said that you'd be property? I
know he said all the right things to get you to his house but dammit he
knows there is better out there and he WILL find it. You just kneel there
like a good little subbie and reflect on how lucky you are to now be under
the wing of Mr. Dream Dom while he looks for more slaves for the poly house
he forgot to tell you he was starting.
On the flipside of that is a similar story, (Actually posted in someone's
journal, but I forget who.) but in this story she states she knew that she
did not have the body type the dom in question was seeking. In other she
already knew she was not what he was seeking and she went to him anyway.
There followed the tearful journal entry that told of him being on Collarme
while she was there.
But you already KNEW you weren't what he was looking for, what the fuck did you expect?
This is the dark tunnel mentality in action here. In a lot of horror movies
once it is known there is a crazed killer on the loose a few members of the
supporting cast get the idea that this would be a great time to go out
searching in that dark tunnel. Of course you know what happens to that
supporting cast, yes?
What's in a name? There is a 56 year old woman in Denmark that calls
herself a Milf and a Goddess. It's in her name. Now not to nitpick or
anything like that, but this woman just plain doesn't fit the bill in my
opinion. The picture she has shows some woman who looks as if she doesn't
have her choppers in her mouth and she looks just generally dumpy.
I don't know, I rather want my goddesses to look a little different than that, yanno?
Well now, just to be clear i've left it possible for people to post
comments anonymously here. It will be interesting to see if people who have
been stung by anything I have posted have anything to say. I've gotten a
few messages of the sort but nothing really funny.
Well, except for one. I got my first message from one of those financial
domination cunts. Maids4Mistress decided to message and take a couple of
lame shots at my profile. Just to give a little background on this cunt's
profile she requires that an Amazon gift card be given to her before she
will reply to any message sent to her.
Great, so after two or three messages she sends one that says, "You know
some on here think you're a woman." My reply to her was, "Are there any
that think YOU are?" and all she sent back was a message that contained a
single period.
It's started to make me wonder just how many of these financial dommes are
in reality men, hmm.
I've also gotten a few messages from people who list their own insights.
Hey, let your shit come out.. Post it as a comment here and let's have some
fun.
Here's one that makes you go, "Hmm".. In an email one guy tells me about
someone in Brasil. This person at the beginning of her profile states that
she will not post in Spanish because it is an English speaking site. That's
right neighborly of her wouldn't you say?
However the guy who emailed me pointed out that while there may be people
in Brasil who speak Spanish the language of that country is Portuguese....
D'OH!!
Here's a story i've seen quite a few times in some of the profiles of
submissive women. They meet Mr. Dream Dom and after all the email
exchanging, chatting on Yahoo and the phone, they finally get together in
person. It goes wonderfully until Mr. Dream Dom decides it's time to logon
to CollarMe to check his messages and do some browsing.
What, did you think he was kidding when he said that you'd be property? I
know he said all the right things to get you to his house but dammit he
knows there is better out there and he WILL find it. You just kneel there
like a good little subbie and reflect on how lucky you are to now be under
the wing of Mr. Dream Dom while he looks for more slaves for the poly house
he forgot to tell you he was starting.
On the flipside of that is a similar story, (Actually posted in someone's
journal, but I forget who.) but in this story she states she knew that she
did not have the body type the dom in question was seeking. In other she
already knew she was not what he was seeking and she went to him anyway.
There followed the tearful journal entry that told of him being on Collarme
while she was there.
But you already KNEW you weren't what he was looking for, what the fuck did you expect?
This is the dark tunnel mentality in action here. In a lot of horror movies
once it is known there is a crazed killer on the loose a few members of the
supporting cast get the idea that this would be a great time to go out
searching in that dark tunnel. Of course you know what happens to that
supporting cast, yes?
What's in a name? There is a 56 year old woman in Denmark that calls
herself a Milf and a Goddess. It's in her name. Now not to nitpick or
anything like that, but this woman just plain doesn't fit the bill in my
opinion. The picture she has shows some woman who looks as if she doesn't
have her choppers in her mouth and she looks just generally dumpy.
I don't know, I rather want my goddesses to look a little different than that, yanno?
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Back to the beginning.
What i'm going to do here is repost what i've already posted at Collarme so there is nothing new here as of yet. First, my profile from there.. Note, this is clearly a joke profile. I've gotten a lot of laughs from some of the people who have read the profile and have taken it seriously.
6 months ago, I spent a rigorous three weeks of training under a European and an Asian Master. I thought I was a slave but I came to realize as I left their chateau that I am in reality a Mistress of the highest order. I may only be 24 but I can assure you my skills and knowledge is vast because I have like 8 years of experience.
I am here now to look for suitable slaves and Masters/Mistresses to fill my BDSM house henceforth called the House of Heresyasign. All will be under my rule because it's my trailer.. I mean mansion so I make the rules and I get to be the Grand Mistress.
No slave shall work outside of the mansion because I am independently wealthy and can provide. Well, I do have a job as a shift manager at McDonalds but that is only so that I do not become bored roaming my mansion or traveling the world.
Your duties as a slave will be vast. Your sole purpose is to cater to the whim of the Masters and Mistresses who live here. You will also be expected to serve my friend Chuck. He is only 18 and even though he has the odd bit of difficulty tying his shoelaces and remembering to take his meds he is a fine Master and you will know true bliss under his guiding hand.
If you believe you are worthy of joining the House of Heresyasign send a detailed note with your qualifications and why you wish to be considered for the House of Heresyasign. Oh yes, Chuck said if you are a woman also send pictures of your boobies. We will get back to you as soon as we can with further instructions to expedite your journey into the realm of the true slave.
Yes, the picture is really me. Well, no it's not really me but I look exactly like that. Really, I do. You can ask Chuck if you don't believe me.
Right then, there's the profile.. And now the 9 or 10 journal entries i've posted thusfar...
From 8-14-2010
I do not know whether this is funny or more sad than anything, but the amount of people who have actually read this profile and have taken it seriously is frankly amazing. Come ON people, wake up!
Here are some other funny things I have read in profiles.
"If you are in Ghana, stay away." Now, you DO realize those people do not read your profiles to know you do not wish them to contact you, right? No really, you DO know that, umm right?
"Do not mistake my kindness for weakness," or any variation of that. No, we do not need to see you display this kindness to know you are weak. The insecurity involved in putting that in your profile speaks volumes. Other cute little phrases such as "I am a strong dom", no you are not.
People who rant and rave about the poor state of Collar Me, yet they always seem to come up near the top of the list when you browse profiles.
Seeing someone be under consideration multiple times in a short period of time. One week under consideration and the next week considering leaving the lifestyle because she was lied to, or someone pissed on her "gift." The next week, consideration time again. Rinse, repeat, recycle. Here's an idea, take some time to get to know someone and perhaps the cycle can be broken, mmmkay?
Collar Me is where everyone who began in this lifestyle as a teenager comes to congregate. All of these hot 19 and 20 year old dommes with plenty of experience, oh yes! Lipstick lesbians FTW!
And have you noticed how these lesbians get all offended when you refer to them as being gay?
"My profile is monitored by...to protect me.." Protect you from what? No, your profile is monitored by that person because they don't trust you and are insecure enough to monitor your profile, aren't you the fortunate one?
People who were raised in the lifestyle. One person's profile used to say she was raised in a BDSM home and her father wanted her to grow up to serve. Well of course he did! However, this devious person felt her domme instincts come to the fore and she collared her first slave at the age of 18 Woot!
No limit slaves? Okay then, battery acid enemas for all :-) Yes, it is not something you can do more than once however, so you no limiters may want to use this method sparingly.
That exceedingly funny "I am a dominant man" many people seem to feel the need to put in their profiles.
"I have a spouse/boyfriend/whatever who doesn't know about this desire of mine so we will have to be discreet." Color me nutty, but with honesty being one of the cornerstones of D/s doesn't the idea of hooking up with someone who will be cheating on their significant other seem a LITTLE wrong?
Those who say they are not seeking a doormat yet when you read their profiles it is clear the only sort of person who would be attracted to them IS a doormat. No seriously, Master Imahurtyabadeveryday, anyone who actually takes a few moments to think about what they are getting into isn't going to come live in your 24/7/365 caged world. No, you're looking for a doormat at least be honest about it.
Oh, I can go on and on and for teh lulz I just may but for now if it fits... Hereeeeeeees ya sign!
From 8-16-2010
I've had to lock Chuck in the closet this morning. He's not getting his boobie pics and is in the middle of a domtantrum. You know the sort of tantrum I mean, he's carrying on about how a command from a DOM should always be followed because the DOM is like you know, the DOM.
Well, this afternoon after his meds kick in I'll let him out of the closet, He'll be fine.
I'm not of a mind to call out anyone specifically but if you're going to read this profile and send me messages that point out just how stupid you are, well yes i'm going to make fun of you. Such as the rocket scientist here in my home state who told me my profile was funny.
I'm like, "Well thank you, the entire profile is meant as satire."
"I know, but it was still funny."
And that's all I have to say about that.
How DARE you submissive women have needs!!! haven't you been on this site long enough to have learned your only purpose in life is to adhere to the whim of whatever MASTER approaches you? It doesn't matter one little gee whiz if you have your needs met unless of course that need is to exist solely to adhere to the whims of whatever MASTER is approaching you.
Now you know MASTER VOTEDMOSTLIKELYTOBEPIMPSLAPPED is sitting there going, "yeah that's right...bitches."
More funnies in those profiles. I just have to wonder when I see some profile where the guy/girl/both have these pictures of all their toys all lined up on display. More often than not there are plugs and other insertables in these pictures. Do you ever wonder just how many butts that rubber plug has been inserted into? Ewwww, you people really should get a new plug for each slave. And how come there is no first-aid kit amongst all these wonderful toys?
You perpetual victims, you who post, "I will be leaving CM in a few days" and then go on to explain how you've been hung out to dry on many occasions. Well I know this is your cry for attention, and you WILL get your attention. You've just managed to come within the radar of the very same sort of sick fuck who is going to do what? HANG YOU OUT TO DRY thus giving you even more reason to whine about being hurt.
After five or six times having this happen to you it just MIGHT be time to look within for the problem. The lion might let the wounded squirrel ride on his back to swim across the river, but when you get to the other side he's still going to eat the squirrel, Why? Because he's a fucking lion!
I've got to send out props to you mentors though. I am not referring to the real mentor types who really do care. No no no no, I mean you scam artists who for all intents and purposes become someone's dom. You give them tasks, monitor their profiles, approve or disapprove of anyone who approaches them. And you sneaky fucks never approve of anyone do you? You do it all with the exception of taking on the reponsibility of having her as your own.
One profile a few months back told of having a mentor for like over 20 years. A condition of her submission to whomever was that even though you might be her Master, the mentor would still have the right to use her as he pleased when he chose. I mean to tell you, that is one SWEET scam you fuckers have going for you.
Teh lulz just keep on coming.
From 8-18-2010
Put this in your profile if you've been naughty and deserve a spanking. Someone will get right with you to discuss it, I promise. (Note, the is a little emoticon of someone pulling down their pants to reveal a red ass on the CM journal)
The ultimate battle is brewing here on CM. It's an ageless dispute and the forces on both sides of the battlefield have weighed in.
In the one corner, are the people who are sending messages that are not answered. In the opposite corner are the ones who are getting 100 mails a day and say they do not have time to answer them.
Here's Michael Buffer. "Llllllllllleeeettttttttttt's get ready to rummmmmmbleeeeeeeee!"
Fellas, you're not entitled to replies to your messages, get over it. But ladies, you DO have time to post all those journal entries so yes you DO have time to answer those messages that are from someone who clearly has read your profile and journal entries.
Give those guys who take the time to send you a personalized letter a break. At least have the courtesy to tell them to fuck off, it only takes a moment to hit reply, type "fuck off" and then send. Yes, if you have time to complain about it, you have time to tell a couple of guys to fuck off.
There, the dispute is solved.
Now can someone tell me who is this famous person who states his preference for romance first in his name? This cat's name is on so many journal entries it makes me wonder if this guy isn't collecting royalties from somewhere. Dude, if you're reading this, drop me a line, mmmkay?
I've come to the conclusion that 95% of all lesbians on this site are in reality gay males. Allow me to explain this to you. Since 95% of you are of course fake, it only follows there is a 95% chance of that other lesbian you've been exchanging hot photos with also being a fake. What you're doing is cybering with another man so you're gay.
I say be open with your sexuality and come out of the closet once and for all. And send Chuck some of those hot pics so he'll quit having hissy fits.
Seriously, have any of you fake lesbians ever hooked up with a real woman on here and after finding out you're a fake had her decide you're not so bad after all? If so, POST HER NAME so the rest of them can get laid too you selfish bastard.
For you who can't wait to give your money to a financial dominatrix, you're some bad consumers. Why not take that money and find a professional dominatrix and at least get your ass beat for the money? Or if this isn't an option why not find some worthy charity to give it to? Tell those lazy "I deserve to be pampered" cunts to get off their asses and go get a job.
8/20/2010
Sometimes the comedy writes itself. The following is an email exchange I had with a very eloquent couple last night. I won't post their name because well, the stupid need to be protected.
"We are shure chuck (the trailer trash loser, and friend of gay goats everywhere) is a close friend of your's. And we are sure he thinks you look just like that pic.... (say, how much does he drink before he see you each time anyway)
You should have stuck with the name whore, because you are not a domme in any sense of the word. (did you realy think you desrever a raise to domme just because the manager you fucked made you a shit leader) Get real, you were a whore before, and still are... and a trailer will never be any thing but a trailer no matter how hard you wish. And what made you think a asian man or an ariab could ever be a master..... Seriously.... Think about it."
The above is not edited in any way. He apparently saw the profile Ultimatewhore someone created a couple of days ago to have a go at me.
I have no comment on this goofy fucker's views on Asians and Arabs being Masters, draw your own conclusions. Here's my reply.
"LOL, Oh now this is funny, PLEASE tell me you're actually from Mississippi?
Didn't you figure out this entire profile is satire?"
It gets funnier, keep reading.
"Duhh, realy, hell you put in in your jounal that it is, and yes we can see the whole comical point you attempt to play by making fun of all the fakes that there realy are.... although most of them are scammers who should be shot dead. But you tell us little boy, where in the guild lines on this site does it say..... oh please come and make thing werse (As you clearly do)
Yes we realy live in Mississippi, and yes we are real, and have been in search of a real female bi slave for years. But between idiots like you and scammers all over the place... It's nearly impossable."
This cat is SERIOUS. Scammers should be shot dead?I?! Now of course you know I couldn't just let it go. This bit of wit deserved a serious reply.
"Oh bullcrap, you didn't get it at all or you'd not have sent the first message.
So tell me Gomer, how is it someone like me lampooning some of the funnier things on this site is making things worse? No really, how is my profile and journal making things worse for you?
No, if it's nearly impossible for you to find what you seek... (Seeking for years you say. Interesting that you blame me when i've been here what, a few days?) look within for the problem, don't project it upon others.
But keep it coming dipshit, you're providing me with much material."
And he DID keep it coming, one more time. I believe he intends to report me to the powers that be but i'm not sure.
"Not for long little boy...
And it's simple you retarded fuck.
If you are not a part of the solution..... Then you are Part of the problem. (This bit was posted in huge red, underlined type)
OPPS.... We forgot, they don't teach you things like that at McDonalds"
So, i'm part of his problem, i'm so very hurt. And here I thought I was performing a valuable public service. Not so hurt as to keep me from replying.. One...more..time..
"LOL. retarded fuck, now THERE'S irony for you. Okay Gomer, you take care now, ya heah?"
You can't make this stuff up folks. I won't even make fun of the third grade spelling or the fact the stupidest emails i've gotten have been from my own home state, it would be nothing but picking at the scab.
I know I said I wasn't of a mind to pick on anyone in specific, but when a gold nugget such as this drops right into your lap you simply cannot let it go.
...."Drums keep pounding rhythm to the brain"...
8/22/2010
I swear, i'm seriously considering telling some of these brain surgeons who have read my profile and still message me wanting to be my slave to put that in their profile. That way if you see someone with, "I've read the profile of UltimateDomme and STILL asked to serve her" in their profile you'll know it's someone there's NO need to mess about with, these are the REAL stoopid ones. Hmm, on the other hand that could also serve as a homing beacon for the financial dommes and scam artists. But damn it's soooooo tempting.
Does A/anyone E/else besides M/me get a severe migrane when T/they see a profile of S/someone written like this? Doesn't it just make Y/you want to call out the G/geek S/squad to go to T/their house and repossess T/their damned computer? I/i sit here and end up having to reach for the Imitrex after reading one of these. Especially when said profile is laced with third P/person speak.
Is it just me, or do roughly half of the people who present here as ALPHA or NATURAL dominants look suspicously like that kid in school who even the chess club made their bitch? Well i'm sure it's quite intimidating to have someone carrying a chessboard threaten you with the Najdorf Sicilian defence and speak of poisoned pawns. But is it any surprise these are the same people some submissives complain about in their profiles? I mean the profiles that speak of getting messages from so called dominants they don't know calling them a slut or whore or something equally as bad. Are we seeing a bit of overcompensating for their shortcomings in life in play here, hmm?
Here's something I find in the profiles of some professional dommes that never ceases to make me giggle. "I'm not here to make your fantasy come true" or something along those lines.
Excuse me, if you're a pro domme that's PRECISELY why you're here. Step down off of those overinflated egos a moment and think about it. If some people didn't have that fantasy and weren't willing to pay for someone to do that for them you'd be doing another job. I'll give you a hint as to what sort of job too, it would either involve collecting dollar bills in your g-string or it would involve a window and a microphone with you saying, "can I take your order?"
Not to mention you cheap bitches are advertising on a FREE site... Get over yourselves.
That's all for now, keep those great messages coming. Yes, even the messages from those who call me names and then block me. I like knowing people are reading this crap i'm posting.
8/24/2010
Let me see, i've been seeing a few games of dueling profiles on here. To explain what dueling profiles is, it's where you see two different profiles usually with one or more of the same picture. Now, both of these people are calling the other out for stealing their photo and is in fact fake.
Wellllllllll... Which do YOU think is the fake? Probably both but Who cares, it's some funny shit to read.
Apparently one's spot as a fake lesbian dominant isn't a secure one. I've seen many profiles where the person in question USED to be a domme but was broken by someone and she's now a submissive. This is the fake lesbian version of those board games where if someone lands on the square that your token is you get sent back to start. So you fake lesbians thinking of becoming domme, watch out.. you can be broken at any time and sent back to have to start all over again.
After I posted that bit about financial dommes I got an email from someone who told me it was because of those types of people he doesn't trust anyone on this site anymore...
Because he's spent 30,000 dollars and says no domme has ever kept her promises to him. Now in my opinion most people would draw the line in the sand of trust at about oh, 500 dollars or so wouldn't you think? But 30,000..? Come ON man!
Hey, you financial cunts fucked up big time when you broke this cat's spirit. Didn't you get the message that you can shear a sheep many times, but only skin him once, you greedy slags? Come on now, for that kind of money at least ONE of you could have given this guy a little real time abuse, sheeesh.(And don't you dare email me and ask me who this guy is, I ain't tellin'.. Muhahahhaha!)
Topping from the bottom, now there's a hot button issue. Of course the definition of topping from the bottom seems to have gotten to be a catch-all to describe any submissive who has conditions. I'm not sure I know how to break to you "It doesn't matter what you want" sort of folks, but until a submissive has agreed to submit to you, they are not on the bottom and therefore cannot be topping from a position they are not in.
Huh?
That means until the submissive is your's, you ain't shit.
You'd think from reading all these neanderthal profiles a submissive shouldn't even have a choice as to whom they serve. If THAT were true there would be no such thing on this site as an approachable submissive. Why? Because the moment one created a profile she'd have 20 messages from Dominants who have claimed them and therefore would be unavailable before she was available in the first place.
I'm going to end this entry on somewhat of a serious note. I was reading a profile I wish to direct you to. This person's name is Hapyinillinois and in her journal entries there is an FYI about a possible identity thief. Now I don't know if it's true or not but I think it's certainly worth a look.. just in case. I've emailed and asked her permission to direct people to her profile and she granted it, just in case you were wondering.
8/27/2010
I'm the proud owner of a Cabbagesub as of the 23rd. I was looking in the closet to admire the twelve collars I bought in anticipation of the influx of slaves i'd have and I noticed there were only eleven left in the box I was keeping them in.
Chuck told me late that night when he was coming home from work at the Silver Slipper Casino, (He's a cocktail waitress there.) he saw someone sneaking away from the trail...errrr.. mansion and he was giggling about something. WELL, I look on here to find that Cabbagesub has "accepted" my collar.
No, he broke in here and stole that collar. But I suppose all is fair in love and collars so i'm the owner of the Cabbagesub. Just don't be surprised to find chuck leering at you ravenously with a bottle of coleslaw dressing in one hand and a chopping knife in the other.. Just sayin' Note: Check out the profile of Cabbagesub on CM, it's hilarious.
Now, does anyone really believe if you send me an email hurling insults at me that i'm going to give a fuck about it? come on people, if you must send me emails to take issue with something i've posted at least have the guts to actually state your issue. You never know, I might even discuss your issues with you. I know i'm amazing and all that but unless you tell me the issue i'm going to have no idea of what you are crying about.
One cat (again from my home state. What IS it with people in Mississippi?) messaged me recently and was quite distressed that my profile even exists. I invited him to simply click that report profile button to which he assured me he'd already done and added that he knew the owner. Ah, I suppose that means i'll be gone soon... Relegated to the ash heap of history for the good of the site.
Of course I had a peek at this guy's profile and found the entire thing was one huge whine. Whining about fakes and scammers and just on and on about it he was. A whiny dom, isn't that the damndest thing you ever heard?
Some profiles you have to read more than once just to make sure you actually read what you thought you did. Here are some funny ones.
There's one dude who claims to be a.. wait for it... "A reincarnated holy roman domanus"..<--- not dominus, mind you. This is kind of stuff that makes you shake your head and go, "Hey baby, like don't bogart that joint, pass it over."
Then there's.."If you don't read my whole profile, I will be able to tell. If I don't answer your email, you obviously didn't read it" <---- Because dammit, I wrote some deep shit here and you WILL read it, so THERE!!
There's one real young looking dominant who in his journal entries goes on about the messages he gets that point out he looks like he's 12. Hey little trooper, perception is powerful.. You aren't going to find many women willing to submit to someone who looks like he should be playing little league baseball. I'll say this, he's cute as all get out but he's the kind of cute that makes you want to dress him up in slutty clothes and put him with his pretty little pouty lips on the street.. "Bring it home for mama now.."
Enough for now.
8/28/2010
I saw this in a Dom's profile and it struck me.
"Why is it so many submissives on this site want the lifestyle to fit around them, instead of letting the Dom mold them around the lifestyle?"
Now here's another of those comments that make me just shake my head and laugh. This guy goes on to say right afterward that there is too much topping from the bottom on this site for him.
Here's someone who has assigned the main focus on the all powerful "lifestyle" without giving creedence to the fact the LIFESTYLE is what we make it, not the other way around. I get the idea that this cat doesn't like the idea a submissive may have a specific place they want to be within the lifestyle, however. (Those damned submissives with actual needs and desires, how dare they?)
But he calls it topping from the bottom and we've already covered that one, haven't we? I don't think it's a stretch to believe this guy is likely more concerned with how he is viewed by his peers in the "lifestyle" than anything else. I wouldn't be at all surprised if he got his master title from some group and not a slave.
Bad news for those that agree with this guy's sentiment. You can bluster all you want but in the end if the submissive is not having his or her needs met, (whatever they may be) they ain't gonna be hanging around for long, and why should they?
"But it's not about what the submissive wants," is the standard answer to that. You're right, but only AFTER the submissive has agreed to put his or herself under a dominant it then becomes what the dominant wants. But even then if they ain't getting what they signed up for, hasta la vista bitch.
I'll take overused phrases for 200, Alex.
The Answer is... "True D/s"
TRUE D/s... TRUE submissive...TRUE dominant.. Now come on, what the fuck is TRUE within a scene with so many different levels? And have any two people ever actually agreed on the definitions of what TRUE means in this sense?
So let's settle this shit once and for all.. A TRUE dominant would never volunteer to the cop who pulled him over that there are no dead bodies in the trunk unless of course there are in fact no dead bodies in the trunk. A TRUE dominant knows to volunteer this information is the fastest way to have the cop ask you to prove it.
How about this... TRUE D/s... a TRUE dominant.. a TRUE submissive is what we each see as our own ideal?
I saw a profile of a guy who goes on in his journal to state how he doesn't expect to find anyone real on here. Now this particular individual's picture shows him holding a pistol in front of his face. So, who wants to explain to him this may be fucking up any chance he may have had?
8/30/2010
There are many journal entries that begin with the phrase, "I am often asked..."
Something such as, "I am often asked about the different levels of domination." And of course to do their part in educating the peeps they go on to explain their views on that subject.
No that's cool, really. But you'se a lying mother fucker. Ain't nobody ever asked you any shit like that. You just want to post your views. So post the damn things, you lying bastard. You don't need to pretend all sorts of people actually have asked your opinion on the subject.
Maintenance discipine. Someone is going to have to explain that one to me. If the dynamics of a relationship is discipline to correct bad behavior or something like that, it really only stands to reason that the submissive in that relationship is seeking to AVOID it, right? Really, if the submissive isn't trying to avoid it, it ain't discipline.
Right, so enter the idea of maintenance discipline. It's like saying, "I know you've not like done anything wrong but i'm going to discipline you anyway...You know to remind you and stuff."
Uh huh, to remind her of what exactly, that if she's a bad girl she will get punished? Pssst, she already knows which is likely why she's been able to avoid it. Those days of not being able to sit comfortably is probably right in the front of her mind.
What's really happening is the domimant hasn't been getting his fill of having a go at the submissive's ass so he trots out the concept of maintenance discipine so there's a ready excuse. Nevermind the signal that sends.
Why not just tell the submissive that there will be times you'll have a go at her for no other reason than you think it'll be a lot of fun to see how red you can make her ass? Or better yet, just because you CAN, it's honest.
I've seen the ultimate in profile bullshit, (Aside from my own of course.) There is a dominant in the Philippines who is 25. Looking at the provided pictures he indeed looks 25. So far so good... But he says he's been in the lifestlye off and on for 13 years. I figure this fella was either one of those lunch money bullies and he's called it "domination" or he was really beating the crap out of his little brother and/or sister.
Another older dominant is looking for a slave to serve him in all ways. His profile picture shows the guy holding up a bowling pin. Uh, now I don't have any idea of what plans he has for this bowling pin but I suspect he's not about to invite anyone over for a few frames at the local bowling center.
And finally, a profile of a 42 year old dominant that says he intends to update his profile regularily. I would assume that means making changes to his status. perhaps a journal entry or two and things of that nature. Except in his profile he says he's 41 and on top it says 42. Seems someone has been a naughty boy and hasn't been doing what he promised. Pssst, now what do you think this says about you?
8/31/2010
I've been asked a few times.. (No really I HAVE).. If I were going to have anything to say about Gor.
No, i've got nothing to say about Gor and here's why.
You see, when you go to the special olympics, you don't make fun of the people participating in them now do you? Of course not, well at least i'm pretty sure MOST of you wouldn't do it. I'm also pretty sure there are at least a few of you out there who'd be on the side of the track heckling the kids in the wheelchair race.
It's the same thing here, making fun of the Goreans is the same as making fun of the kids in the wheelchair race. Besides, what can I say about the WWE of D/s that hasn't already been said? Wait, has anyone ever called them the WWE of D/s? Hmm.
"And the voice said `daddy there's a million pigeons waiting to be hooked on new religions...'" <--- Guess where that is from and win.
Okay, let's go to the profiles and have a few giggles..
This one is from a 42 year old Texan dominant and I can have ALL sorts of fun on this profile. First, he goes on in his profile proper about how he's not here to bullshit and is looking for something real. Pretty whiny profile but the real funny shit is in this cat's journals.
The first one talks about how he knows spelling isn't his greatest strength and says he doesn't wish to be given any shit about it. Yeah, let's not pay attention to those little details such as spelling since there is NO way your attention to those little details give any insight to the person behind the words.
The next journal entry speaks of how he doesn't give a shit about your TSRN number that you got from registering as a slave at that site. He seems to not like the whole idea of the online bit.. OKay cool, but his next journal is a passage that comes from.. (I swear I don't make this stuff up) a Wikipedia entry on the definition of slavery.
I don't want to be the one to explain to this clown just how reliable Wikipedia is since the facts there are not checked for validity. But does anyone else see the irony of slamming TSR because it's an internet site then turns right about and uses a site such as Wikipedia as reference?
Folks, there is a good reason you shouldn't fuck your cousin without a reliable form of birth control.
There's an 18 year old lesbian submissive from ND who states in her profile she does not have a camera, so don't ask. Um, on her profile pictures there is a girl holding what you ask? A FUCKING CELLPHONE CAMERA!! If there is ever an awards program started on this site, here's a nominee in the category of stupidest fake lesbians.
One day last week I got a mail from someone who told me my profile was bullshit. It was pretty funny getting such a message from an 18 year old submissive whose profile states she serves some cat she calls Master Robert alongside her mother and a foreign exchange student from Japan I think it was. So I reply and say, "Oh yeah Robert, like you're real."
The answer? "Who's Robert?"
Just Sayin'!
6 months ago, I spent a rigorous three weeks of training under a European and an Asian Master. I thought I was a slave but I came to realize as I left their chateau that I am in reality a Mistress of the highest order. I may only be 24 but I can assure you my skills and knowledge is vast because I have like 8 years of experience.
I am here now to look for suitable slaves and Masters/Mistresses to fill my BDSM house henceforth called the House of Heresyasign. All will be under my rule because it's my trailer.. I mean mansion so I make the rules and I get to be the Grand Mistress.
No slave shall work outside of the mansion because I am independently wealthy and can provide. Well, I do have a job as a shift manager at McDonalds but that is only so that I do not become bored roaming my mansion or traveling the world.
Your duties as a slave will be vast. Your sole purpose is to cater to the whim of the Masters and Mistresses who live here. You will also be expected to serve my friend Chuck. He is only 18 and even though he has the odd bit of difficulty tying his shoelaces and remembering to take his meds he is a fine Master and you will know true bliss under his guiding hand.
If you believe you are worthy of joining the House of Heresyasign send a detailed note with your qualifications and why you wish to be considered for the House of Heresyasign. Oh yes, Chuck said if you are a woman also send pictures of your boobies. We will get back to you as soon as we can with further instructions to expedite your journey into the realm of the true slave.
Yes, the picture is really me. Well, no it's not really me but I look exactly like that. Really, I do. You can ask Chuck if you don't believe me.
Right then, there's the profile.. And now the 9 or 10 journal entries i've posted thusfar...
From 8-14-2010
I do not know whether this is funny or more sad than anything, but the amount of people who have actually read this profile and have taken it seriously is frankly amazing. Come ON people, wake up!
Here are some other funny things I have read in profiles.
"If you are in Ghana, stay away." Now, you DO realize those people do not read your profiles to know you do not wish them to contact you, right? No really, you DO know that, umm right?
"Do not mistake my kindness for weakness," or any variation of that. No, we do not need to see you display this kindness to know you are weak. The insecurity involved in putting that in your profile speaks volumes. Other cute little phrases such as "I am a strong dom", no you are not.
People who rant and rave about the poor state of Collar Me, yet they always seem to come up near the top of the list when you browse profiles.
Seeing someone be under consideration multiple times in a short period of time. One week under consideration and the next week considering leaving the lifestyle because she was lied to, or someone pissed on her "gift." The next week, consideration time again. Rinse, repeat, recycle. Here's an idea, take some time to get to know someone and perhaps the cycle can be broken, mmmkay?
Collar Me is where everyone who began in this lifestyle as a teenager comes to congregate. All of these hot 19 and 20 year old dommes with plenty of experience, oh yes! Lipstick lesbians FTW!
And have you noticed how these lesbians get all offended when you refer to them as being gay?
"My profile is monitored by...to protect me.." Protect you from what? No, your profile is monitored by that person because they don't trust you and are insecure enough to monitor your profile, aren't you the fortunate one?
People who were raised in the lifestyle. One person's profile used to say she was raised in a BDSM home and her father wanted her to grow up to serve. Well of course he did! However, this devious person felt her domme instincts come to the fore and she collared her first slave at the age of 18 Woot!
No limit slaves? Okay then, battery acid enemas for all :-) Yes, it is not something you can do more than once however, so you no limiters may want to use this method sparingly.
That exceedingly funny "I am a dominant man" many people seem to feel the need to put in their profiles.
"I have a spouse/boyfriend/whatever who doesn't know about this desire of mine so we will have to be discreet." Color me nutty, but with honesty being one of the cornerstones of D/s doesn't the idea of hooking up with someone who will be cheating on their significant other seem a LITTLE wrong?
Those who say they are not seeking a doormat yet when you read their profiles it is clear the only sort of person who would be attracted to them IS a doormat. No seriously, Master Imahurtyabadeveryday, anyone who actually takes a few moments to think about what they are getting into isn't going to come live in your 24/7/365 caged world. No, you're looking for a doormat at least be honest about it.
Oh, I can go on and on and for teh lulz I just may but for now if it fits... Hereeeeeeees ya sign!
From 8-16-2010
I've had to lock Chuck in the closet this morning. He's not getting his boobie pics and is in the middle of a domtantrum. You know the sort of tantrum I mean, he's carrying on about how a command from a DOM should always be followed because the DOM is like you know, the DOM.
Well, this afternoon after his meds kick in I'll let him out of the closet, He'll be fine.
I'm not of a mind to call out anyone specifically but if you're going to read this profile and send me messages that point out just how stupid you are, well yes i'm going to make fun of you. Such as the rocket scientist here in my home state who told me my profile was funny.
I'm like, "Well thank you, the entire profile is meant as satire."
"I know, but it was still funny."
And that's all I have to say about that.
How DARE you submissive women have needs!!! haven't you been on this site long enough to have learned your only purpose in life is to adhere to the whim of whatever MASTER approaches you? It doesn't matter one little gee whiz if you have your needs met unless of course that need is to exist solely to adhere to the whims of whatever MASTER is approaching you.
Now you know MASTER VOTEDMOSTLIKELYTOBEPIMPSLAPPED is sitting there going, "yeah that's right...bitches."
More funnies in those profiles. I just have to wonder when I see some profile where the guy/girl/both have these pictures of all their toys all lined up on display. More often than not there are plugs and other insertables in these pictures. Do you ever wonder just how many butts that rubber plug has been inserted into? Ewwww, you people really should get a new plug for each slave. And how come there is no first-aid kit amongst all these wonderful toys?
You perpetual victims, you who post, "I will be leaving CM in a few days" and then go on to explain how you've been hung out to dry on many occasions. Well I know this is your cry for attention, and you WILL get your attention. You've just managed to come within the radar of the very same sort of sick fuck who is going to do what? HANG YOU OUT TO DRY thus giving you even more reason to whine about being hurt.
After five or six times having this happen to you it just MIGHT be time to look within for the problem. The lion might let the wounded squirrel ride on his back to swim across the river, but when you get to the other side he's still going to eat the squirrel, Why? Because he's a fucking lion!
I've got to send out props to you mentors though. I am not referring to the real mentor types who really do care. No no no no, I mean you scam artists who for all intents and purposes become someone's dom. You give them tasks, monitor their profiles, approve or disapprove of anyone who approaches them. And you sneaky fucks never approve of anyone do you? You do it all with the exception of taking on the reponsibility of having her as your own.
One profile a few months back told of having a mentor for like over 20 years. A condition of her submission to whomever was that even though you might be her Master, the mentor would still have the right to use her as he pleased when he chose. I mean to tell you, that is one SWEET scam you fuckers have going for you.
Teh lulz just keep on coming.
From 8-18-2010
Put this in your profile if you've been naughty and deserve a spanking. Someone will get right with you to discuss it, I promise. (Note, the is a little emoticon of someone pulling down their pants to reveal a red ass on the CM journal)
The ultimate battle is brewing here on CM. It's an ageless dispute and the forces on both sides of the battlefield have weighed in.
In the one corner, are the people who are sending messages that are not answered. In the opposite corner are the ones who are getting 100 mails a day and say they do not have time to answer them.
Here's Michael Buffer. "Llllllllllleeeettttttttttt's get ready to rummmmmmbleeeeeeeee!"
Fellas, you're not entitled to replies to your messages, get over it. But ladies, you DO have time to post all those journal entries so yes you DO have time to answer those messages that are from someone who clearly has read your profile and journal entries.
Give those guys who take the time to send you a personalized letter a break. At least have the courtesy to tell them to fuck off, it only takes a moment to hit reply, type "fuck off" and then send. Yes, if you have time to complain about it, you have time to tell a couple of guys to fuck off.
There, the dispute is solved.
Now can someone tell me who is this famous person who states his preference for romance first in his name? This cat's name is on so many journal entries it makes me wonder if this guy isn't collecting royalties from somewhere. Dude, if you're reading this, drop me a line, mmmkay?
I've come to the conclusion that 95% of all lesbians on this site are in reality gay males. Allow me to explain this to you. Since 95% of you are of course fake, it only follows there is a 95% chance of that other lesbian you've been exchanging hot photos with also being a fake. What you're doing is cybering with another man so you're gay.
I say be open with your sexuality and come out of the closet once and for all. And send Chuck some of those hot pics so he'll quit having hissy fits.
Seriously, have any of you fake lesbians ever hooked up with a real woman on here and after finding out you're a fake had her decide you're not so bad after all? If so, POST HER NAME so the rest of them can get laid too you selfish bastard.
For you who can't wait to give your money to a financial dominatrix, you're some bad consumers. Why not take that money and find a professional dominatrix and at least get your ass beat for the money? Or if this isn't an option why not find some worthy charity to give it to? Tell those lazy "I deserve to be pampered" cunts to get off their asses and go get a job.
8/20/2010
Sometimes the comedy writes itself. The following is an email exchange I had with a very eloquent couple last night. I won't post their name because well, the stupid need to be protected.
"We are shure chuck (the trailer trash loser, and friend of gay goats everywhere) is a close friend of your's. And we are sure he thinks you look just like that pic.... (say, how much does he drink before he see you each time anyway)
You should have stuck with the name whore, because you are not a domme in any sense of the word. (did you realy think you desrever a raise to domme just because the manager you fucked made you a shit leader) Get real, you were a whore before, and still are... and a trailer will never be any thing but a trailer no matter how hard you wish. And what made you think a asian man or an ariab could ever be a master..... Seriously.... Think about it."
The above is not edited in any way. He apparently saw the profile Ultimatewhore someone created a couple of days ago to have a go at me.
I have no comment on this goofy fucker's views on Asians and Arabs being Masters, draw your own conclusions. Here's my reply.
"LOL, Oh now this is funny, PLEASE tell me you're actually from Mississippi?
Didn't you figure out this entire profile is satire?"
It gets funnier, keep reading.
"Duhh, realy, hell you put in in your jounal that it is, and yes we can see the whole comical point you attempt to play by making fun of all the fakes that there realy are.... although most of them are scammers who should be shot dead. But you tell us little boy, where in the guild lines on this site does it say..... oh please come and make thing werse (As you clearly do)
Yes we realy live in Mississippi, and yes we are real, and have been in search of a real female bi slave for years. But between idiots like you and scammers all over the place... It's nearly impossable."
This cat is SERIOUS. Scammers should be shot dead?I?! Now of course you know I couldn't just let it go. This bit of wit deserved a serious reply.
"Oh bullcrap, you didn't get it at all or you'd not have sent the first message.
So tell me Gomer, how is it someone like me lampooning some of the funnier things on this site is making things worse? No really, how is my profile and journal making things worse for you?
No, if it's nearly impossible for you to find what you seek... (Seeking for years you say. Interesting that you blame me when i've been here what, a few days?) look within for the problem, don't project it upon others.
But keep it coming dipshit, you're providing me with much material."
And he DID keep it coming, one more time. I believe he intends to report me to the powers that be but i'm not sure.
"Not for long little boy...
And it's simple you retarded fuck.
If you are not a part of the solution..... Then you are Part of the problem. (This bit was posted in huge red, underlined type)
OPPS.... We forgot, they don't teach you things like that at McDonalds"
So, i'm part of his problem, i'm so very hurt. And here I thought I was performing a valuable public service. Not so hurt as to keep me from replying.. One...more..time..
"LOL. retarded fuck, now THERE'S irony for you. Okay Gomer, you take care now, ya heah?"
You can't make this stuff up folks. I won't even make fun of the third grade spelling or the fact the stupidest emails i've gotten have been from my own home state, it would be nothing but picking at the scab.
I know I said I wasn't of a mind to pick on anyone in specific, but when a gold nugget such as this drops right into your lap you simply cannot let it go.
...."Drums keep pounding rhythm to the brain"...
8/22/2010
I swear, i'm seriously considering telling some of these brain surgeons who have read my profile and still message me wanting to be my slave to put that in their profile. That way if you see someone with, "I've read the profile of UltimateDomme and STILL asked to serve her" in their profile you'll know it's someone there's NO need to mess about with, these are the REAL stoopid ones. Hmm, on the other hand that could also serve as a homing beacon for the financial dommes and scam artists. But damn it's soooooo tempting.
Does A/anyone E/else besides M/me get a severe migrane when T/they see a profile of S/someone written like this? Doesn't it just make Y/you want to call out the G/geek S/squad to go to T/their house and repossess T/their damned computer? I/i sit here and end up having to reach for the Imitrex after reading one of these. Especially when said profile is laced with third P/person speak.
Is it just me, or do roughly half of the people who present here as ALPHA or NATURAL dominants look suspicously like that kid in school who even the chess club made their bitch? Well i'm sure it's quite intimidating to have someone carrying a chessboard threaten you with the Najdorf Sicilian defence and speak of poisoned pawns. But is it any surprise these are the same people some submissives complain about in their profiles? I mean the profiles that speak of getting messages from so called dominants they don't know calling them a slut or whore or something equally as bad. Are we seeing a bit of overcompensating for their shortcomings in life in play here, hmm?
Here's something I find in the profiles of some professional dommes that never ceases to make me giggle. "I'm not here to make your fantasy come true" or something along those lines.
Excuse me, if you're a pro domme that's PRECISELY why you're here. Step down off of those overinflated egos a moment and think about it. If some people didn't have that fantasy and weren't willing to pay for someone to do that for them you'd be doing another job. I'll give you a hint as to what sort of job too, it would either involve collecting dollar bills in your g-string or it would involve a window and a microphone with you saying, "can I take your order?"
Not to mention you cheap bitches are advertising on a FREE site... Get over yourselves.
That's all for now, keep those great messages coming. Yes, even the messages from those who call me names and then block me. I like knowing people are reading this crap i'm posting.
8/24/2010
Let me see, i've been seeing a few games of dueling profiles on here. To explain what dueling profiles is, it's where you see two different profiles usually with one or more of the same picture. Now, both of these people are calling the other out for stealing their photo and is in fact fake.
Wellllllllll... Which do YOU think is the fake? Probably both but Who cares, it's some funny shit to read.
Apparently one's spot as a fake lesbian dominant isn't a secure one. I've seen many profiles where the person in question USED to be a domme but was broken by someone and she's now a submissive. This is the fake lesbian version of those board games where if someone lands on the square that your token is you get sent back to start. So you fake lesbians thinking of becoming domme, watch out.. you can be broken at any time and sent back to have to start all over again.
After I posted that bit about financial dommes I got an email from someone who told me it was because of those types of people he doesn't trust anyone on this site anymore...
Because he's spent 30,000 dollars and says no domme has ever kept her promises to him. Now in my opinion most people would draw the line in the sand of trust at about oh, 500 dollars or so wouldn't you think? But 30,000..? Come ON man!
Hey, you financial cunts fucked up big time when you broke this cat's spirit. Didn't you get the message that you can shear a sheep many times, but only skin him once, you greedy slags? Come on now, for that kind of money at least ONE of you could have given this guy a little real time abuse, sheeesh.(And don't you dare email me and ask me who this guy is, I ain't tellin'.. Muhahahhaha!)
Topping from the bottom, now there's a hot button issue. Of course the definition of topping from the bottom seems to have gotten to be a catch-all to describe any submissive who has conditions. I'm not sure I know how to break to you "It doesn't matter what you want" sort of folks, but until a submissive has agreed to submit to you, they are not on the bottom and therefore cannot be topping from a position they are not in.
Huh?
That means until the submissive is your's, you ain't shit.
You'd think from reading all these neanderthal profiles a submissive shouldn't even have a choice as to whom they serve. If THAT were true there would be no such thing on this site as an approachable submissive. Why? Because the moment one created a profile she'd have 20 messages from Dominants who have claimed them and therefore would be unavailable before she was available in the first place.
I'm going to end this entry on somewhat of a serious note. I was reading a profile I wish to direct you to. This person's name is Hapyinillinois and in her journal entries there is an FYI about a possible identity thief. Now I don't know if it's true or not but I think it's certainly worth a look.. just in case. I've emailed and asked her permission to direct people to her profile and she granted it, just in case you were wondering.
8/27/2010
I'm the proud owner of a Cabbagesub as of the 23rd. I was looking in the closet to admire the twelve collars I bought in anticipation of the influx of slaves i'd have and I noticed there were only eleven left in the box I was keeping them in.
Chuck told me late that night when he was coming home from work at the Silver Slipper Casino, (He's a cocktail waitress there.) he saw someone sneaking away from the trail...errrr.. mansion and he was giggling about something. WELL, I look on here to find that Cabbagesub has "accepted" my collar.
No, he broke in here and stole that collar. But I suppose all is fair in love and collars so i'm the owner of the Cabbagesub. Just don't be surprised to find chuck leering at you ravenously with a bottle of coleslaw dressing in one hand and a chopping knife in the other.. Just sayin' Note: Check out the profile of Cabbagesub on CM, it's hilarious.
Now, does anyone really believe if you send me an email hurling insults at me that i'm going to give a fuck about it? come on people, if you must send me emails to take issue with something i've posted at least have the guts to actually state your issue. You never know, I might even discuss your issues with you. I know i'm amazing and all that but unless you tell me the issue i'm going to have no idea of what you are crying about.
One cat (again from my home state. What IS it with people in Mississippi?) messaged me recently and was quite distressed that my profile even exists. I invited him to simply click that report profile button to which he assured me he'd already done and added that he knew the owner. Ah, I suppose that means i'll be gone soon... Relegated to the ash heap of history for the good of the site.
Of course I had a peek at this guy's profile and found the entire thing was one huge whine. Whining about fakes and scammers and just on and on about it he was. A whiny dom, isn't that the damndest thing you ever heard?
Some profiles you have to read more than once just to make sure you actually read what you thought you did. Here are some funny ones.
There's one dude who claims to be a.. wait for it... "A reincarnated holy roman domanus"..<--- not dominus, mind you. This is kind of stuff that makes you shake your head and go, "Hey baby, like don't bogart that joint, pass it over."
Then there's.."If you don't read my whole profile, I will be able to tell. If I don't answer your email, you obviously didn't read it" <---- Because dammit, I wrote some deep shit here and you WILL read it, so THERE!!
There's one real young looking dominant who in his journal entries goes on about the messages he gets that point out he looks like he's 12. Hey little trooper, perception is powerful.. You aren't going to find many women willing to submit to someone who looks like he should be playing little league baseball. I'll say this, he's cute as all get out but he's the kind of cute that makes you want to dress him up in slutty clothes and put him with his pretty little pouty lips on the street.. "Bring it home for mama now.."
Enough for now.
8/28/2010
I saw this in a Dom's profile and it struck me.
"Why is it so many submissives on this site want the lifestyle to fit around them, instead of letting the Dom mold them around the lifestyle?"
Now here's another of those comments that make me just shake my head and laugh. This guy goes on to say right afterward that there is too much topping from the bottom on this site for him.
Here's someone who has assigned the main focus on the all powerful "lifestyle" without giving creedence to the fact the LIFESTYLE is what we make it, not the other way around. I get the idea that this cat doesn't like the idea a submissive may have a specific place they want to be within the lifestyle, however. (Those damned submissives with actual needs and desires, how dare they?)
But he calls it topping from the bottom and we've already covered that one, haven't we? I don't think it's a stretch to believe this guy is likely more concerned with how he is viewed by his peers in the "lifestyle" than anything else. I wouldn't be at all surprised if he got his master title from some group and not a slave.
Bad news for those that agree with this guy's sentiment. You can bluster all you want but in the end if the submissive is not having his or her needs met, (whatever they may be) they ain't gonna be hanging around for long, and why should they?
"But it's not about what the submissive wants," is the standard answer to that. You're right, but only AFTER the submissive has agreed to put his or herself under a dominant it then becomes what the dominant wants. But even then if they ain't getting what they signed up for, hasta la vista bitch.
I'll take overused phrases for 200, Alex.
The Answer is... "True D/s"
TRUE D/s... TRUE submissive...TRUE dominant.. Now come on, what the fuck is TRUE within a scene with so many different levels? And have any two people ever actually agreed on the definitions of what TRUE means in this sense?
So let's settle this shit once and for all.. A TRUE dominant would never volunteer to the cop who pulled him over that there are no dead bodies in the trunk unless of course there are in fact no dead bodies in the trunk. A TRUE dominant knows to volunteer this information is the fastest way to have the cop ask you to prove it.
How about this... TRUE D/s... a TRUE dominant.. a TRUE submissive is what we each see as our own ideal?
I saw a profile of a guy who goes on in his journal to state how he doesn't expect to find anyone real on here. Now this particular individual's picture shows him holding a pistol in front of his face. So, who wants to explain to him this may be fucking up any chance he may have had?
8/30/2010
There are many journal entries that begin with the phrase, "I am often asked..."
Something such as, "I am often asked about the different levels of domination." And of course to do their part in educating the peeps they go on to explain their views on that subject.
No that's cool, really. But you'se a lying mother fucker. Ain't nobody ever asked you any shit like that. You just want to post your views. So post the damn things, you lying bastard. You don't need to pretend all sorts of people actually have asked your opinion on the subject.
Maintenance discipine. Someone is going to have to explain that one to me. If the dynamics of a relationship is discipline to correct bad behavior or something like that, it really only stands to reason that the submissive in that relationship is seeking to AVOID it, right? Really, if the submissive isn't trying to avoid it, it ain't discipline.
Right, so enter the idea of maintenance discipline. It's like saying, "I know you've not like done anything wrong but i'm going to discipline you anyway...You know to remind you and stuff."
Uh huh, to remind her of what exactly, that if she's a bad girl she will get punished? Pssst, she already knows which is likely why she's been able to avoid it. Those days of not being able to sit comfortably is probably right in the front of her mind.
What's really happening is the domimant hasn't been getting his fill of having a go at the submissive's ass so he trots out the concept of maintenance discipine so there's a ready excuse. Nevermind the signal that sends.
Why not just tell the submissive that there will be times you'll have a go at her for no other reason than you think it'll be a lot of fun to see how red you can make her ass? Or better yet, just because you CAN, it's honest.
I've seen the ultimate in profile bullshit, (Aside from my own of course.) There is a dominant in the Philippines who is 25. Looking at the provided pictures he indeed looks 25. So far so good... But he says he's been in the lifestlye off and on for 13 years. I figure this fella was either one of those lunch money bullies and he's called it "domination" or he was really beating the crap out of his little brother and/or sister.
Another older dominant is looking for a slave to serve him in all ways. His profile picture shows the guy holding up a bowling pin. Uh, now I don't have any idea of what plans he has for this bowling pin but I suspect he's not about to invite anyone over for a few frames at the local bowling center.
And finally, a profile of a 42 year old dominant that says he intends to update his profile regularily. I would assume that means making changes to his status. perhaps a journal entry or two and things of that nature. Except in his profile he says he's 41 and on top it says 42. Seems someone has been a naughty boy and hasn't been doing what he promised. Pssst, now what do you think this says about you?
8/31/2010
I've been asked a few times.. (No really I HAVE).. If I were going to have anything to say about Gor.
No, i've got nothing to say about Gor and here's why.
You see, when you go to the special olympics, you don't make fun of the people participating in them now do you? Of course not, well at least i'm pretty sure MOST of you wouldn't do it. I'm also pretty sure there are at least a few of you out there who'd be on the side of the track heckling the kids in the wheelchair race.
It's the same thing here, making fun of the Goreans is the same as making fun of the kids in the wheelchair race. Besides, what can I say about the WWE of D/s that hasn't already been said? Wait, has anyone ever called them the WWE of D/s? Hmm.
"And the voice said `daddy there's a million pigeons waiting to be hooked on new religions...'" <--- Guess where that is from and win.
Okay, let's go to the profiles and have a few giggles..
This one is from a 42 year old Texan dominant and I can have ALL sorts of fun on this profile. First, he goes on in his profile proper about how he's not here to bullshit and is looking for something real. Pretty whiny profile but the real funny shit is in this cat's journals.
The first one talks about how he knows spelling isn't his greatest strength and says he doesn't wish to be given any shit about it. Yeah, let's not pay attention to those little details such as spelling since there is NO way your attention to those little details give any insight to the person behind the words.
The next journal entry speaks of how he doesn't give a shit about your TSRN number that you got from registering as a slave at that site. He seems to not like the whole idea of the online bit.. OKay cool, but his next journal is a passage that comes from.. (I swear I don't make this stuff up) a Wikipedia entry on the definition of slavery.
I don't want to be the one to explain to this clown just how reliable Wikipedia is since the facts there are not checked for validity. But does anyone else see the irony of slamming TSR because it's an internet site then turns right about and uses a site such as Wikipedia as reference?
Folks, there is a good reason you shouldn't fuck your cousin without a reliable form of birth control.
There's an 18 year old lesbian submissive from ND who states in her profile she does not have a camera, so don't ask. Um, on her profile pictures there is a girl holding what you ask? A FUCKING CELLPHONE CAMERA!! If there is ever an awards program started on this site, here's a nominee in the category of stupidest fake lesbians.
One day last week I got a mail from someone who told me my profile was bullshit. It was pretty funny getting such a message from an 18 year old submissive whose profile states she serves some cat she calls Master Robert alongside her mother and a foreign exchange student from Japan I think it was. So I reply and say, "Oh yeah Robert, like you're real."
The answer? "Who's Robert?"
Just Sayin'!
And away we go.
If you're here you've udoubtedly seen my profile on Collarme.com and decided to have a look at this blog. Good, i'm glad you're here. What i'm going to be doing here is posting about some of the things on that site I find funny. I know i'm doing the same thing on CM already, but here I'm going to take the gloves off a little more. Well, i'll not be posting any more such journal entries at CM since i'll be doing it here.
So as not to violate the CM rules of critisizing anyone in the journal entries, i've not named names. However my friends, (And haters, but I love you too.) on this blog names are going to be named instead of just little clues as to who the person i'm lampooning might be. Not to mention when someone sends me stupid email, you're going to get to see who did this.
Now to be clear, I am not and will not go out of my way to slam anyone, but if you come to me on that site and I find what you have to saty lulz worthy, yes i'm going to make fun of you. Right or wrong, I do't care... But to paraphrase a guy who used to run a site lampooning some of the funny stuff on the webcam sites.. "Yes, I make fun of you. If you don't want to be made fun of, don't take that picture of a carrot in your ass and send it to strangers on the Internet."
But it's all in fun so don't take TOO personally.
So as not to violate the CM rules of critisizing anyone in the journal entries, i've not named names. However my friends, (And haters, but I love you too.) on this blog names are going to be named instead of just little clues as to who the person i'm lampooning might be. Not to mention when someone sends me stupid email, you're going to get to see who did this.
Now to be clear, I am not and will not go out of my way to slam anyone, but if you come to me on that site and I find what you have to saty lulz worthy, yes i'm going to make fun of you. Right or wrong, I do't care... But to paraphrase a guy who used to run a site lampooning some of the funny stuff on the webcam sites.. "Yes, I make fun of you. If you don't want to be made fun of, don't take that picture of a carrot in your ass and send it to strangers on the Internet."
But it's all in fun so don't take TOO personally.
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