There are hundreds, thousands of profiles on CM where the writer claims to be either a professional, or well off.. etc. It makes me wonder why when you see their included pictures (if they bothered to include them) most of these "well off" people are dressed in rags or if they're wearing business attire such as a coat and tie it's clear the person in the photo does not look comfortable wearing it. Or even better, the pictures are so grainy and of such low quality it makes you question when the photo was actually taken.
Many of these same people have managed to have a picture taken of themselves posing next to a luxury or expensive sports car. (Or even better, the car or yacht alone) Not cars parked in the driveway, no no no no.. Cars parked in the street at a parking meter or something like that.
One such example of this is a 42 dominant in Texas who says he is a millionaire and his profile is well.. funny.
Folks, if by some chance you find someone they WILL find out you're in fact a blue collar worker or office clerk and not the well off professional you've presented yourself as. Where will you be then when that person figures out you've been lying, hmm?
There's a 53 female submissive in Texas who until recently posted many journals full of jokes. CM deleted all of her journals and when she asked for an explanation, she got one. She was told her entries were cut and paste from another site, some of the jokes were against the TOS, and since they were from another site it was not clear she had permission to post them on CM.
She posted the reply she received from CM and then added the following...
"I think this is total BS as my journal should be protected under the constitution, but I guess the CM powers that be are God now..."
I use that quote from CollarMe but this is a fallacy that is widespread on forums and social networking sites all over the internet.
You do not have the RIGHT to post on any message board, journal, or whatever. Those sites are not public and when you gain access to them, the ability to post journals and what have you is a PRIVILEGE granted to you, not a right.
Sites such as CollarMe have a Terms of Agreeement and if you do something that breaks the agreement, the administrators can and will remove the offending material, or person from the site.
This sense of entitlement is really beyond sad, as well as shows a decided lack of understanding of the US Constitution.
Right.. let's find some lulz.. this is a 28 lesbian dominant in California.. And umm, well let's just see the profile and take it from there.
"Hello, I am Jennifer, or Christie..this is profile number 4 due to either hacking or douchebags. so therefore, its staying this short. kbyee."
Fuck, this one is so confused he doesn't know whether he's supposed to be Jennifer, or Christie.. Must be all that hacking of your profiles huh?
I've seen that quite a bit.. mostly with the fake lesbians.. their profile was hacked so they started a new profile. Ah, now i'll just bet if one were to do some research on this, you'd find all those profiles got "hacked" right about the time they got caught being fake. (Must have been the little brother doing it, yes yes?)
"With hunger at her heels.. freedom in her eyes.. She dances on her knees.. Pirate prince by her side.. Staring into.. a hollow idol's eyes" <-- The Doors - Wild Child
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uSnQa1rE3xY
In case you haven't heard, the outgoing Governor of Florida wishes to pardon Jim Morrison for the conviction that he exposed himself onstage on March 1, 1969 at the Dinner Key Theatre in Miami.
Based on what happened at his trial and the obvious prejudiced judge in the case, they'd have won on appeal but the appeal was never heard because well, Jim took that trip to Paris...
This is a long time coming, so props to Gov. Crist.
Okay then, here's one from a 46 dominant in Florida who is an OLDSCHOOL Master. How do we know he's OLDSCHOOL? Because he says so at least 15 times in his profile and journals.
Now to put this in perspective, he maintains that by OLDSCHOOL, he means he is a "pre internet" master.. Ahh, from way back in the 80's when we had to pick it up on the streets huh?
Anyway I like this cat's profile (On a lulz level) for several reasons... First this guy speaks of some of the "internet doms" as people he took lunch money from in highschool.
So basically this fucker's idea of of being a real dom is being a bully, cool. Hey, he said it not me!!!
It's not surprising this guy was a school bully cause he sure the fuck wasn't there to learn anything. This asshat makes all of the same spelling errors as the typical internet idiot.. Examples: differant, truely, experiance, your instead of you're, mearly, possably, and the granddaddy of all.. dominate instead of dominant.
Now you're wondering why I'd make an issue out of spelling when it seems such a small thing? I'll be happy to tell you. BDSM and D/s are very detail oriented, would you agree? Good, good. It's a good bet the person not detailed enough to make sure what they put forward on a social site such as CM is spellchecked (Hint.. a new feature of CM's text entering engine is spellcheck), is going to be decidedly lacking in other, more important details later on.
Welllllll mister OLDSCHOOL, let me give you a little history lesson about online BDSM.. It existed in the early and mid 80's in the form of Compuserve, Genie, People Link (PLink), Playnet, Delphi, and many single line BBS systems. By the end of the decade a place called America Online came along (AOL, heard of it?).. Sooooo... Online D/s-BDSM has been around longer than you claim to have been involved in the "lifestyle" (20+ years he says.) There were worldwide (pre newsgroup) forums about such as Fidonet, and one offshoot of that was KINKNET and there was BDSM there as well.
The time YOU speak of was in the 60's and 70's, headed by the gay leather scene. Yes Gomer, the leathermen. (The fathers of what we now call the "old guard" in the USA) It was underground and those wanting to attend any of their functions had to be invited, you didn't just stumble in and start asking questions.
Here's something from his latest journal on 11-10-2010
"Sitting here, reading profiles ( I read alot of them ) I see so many that have Sub or Slave as the header. Then as you read through the profile, they have things such as .... Listen guys if you do this , then I'm not intereted . If you look like this then go away, I want......., you should be this ......... I only do this..... ECT.... I say to myself ... I know this is just a web site and 90 % on here have no clue what the TRUE lifestyle is, but where I come from the way of OLD SCHOOL... A Sub or Slave does not deman or expect things ? The role of Sub or Slave is to serve and please, not to give orders demands or limits. I know we all have limits, but is'nt the job and role of a good Master to expound the limits of a slave, to help her grow , overcome limits to explore learn and grow ? Both Mental and Physical ? Have i missed something over the last 20+ years in the lifestyle ? There are many profiles that appear interesting when first read, then ... When i read journals i see demand this want this you need to be this ect... This is not a true Slave or Sub ! A open mind, willingness to learn the joy of serving is."
What, do you really believe even back then subs and slaves didn't have certain criteria that needed to be met before giving control of herself to someone? Not that you were actually there seeing that it is crystal clear you're nothing more than another of a long line of assholes who invented himself ON the internet with a claim of mannnnnnny years of experience and ideas that wouldn't have flown even back in the days you claim to be from. But really, do you honestly believe even back in the 70's and 80's slaves and subs were that mindless?
Here's the bad news for all you OLDSCHOOL types, it's an era that is in the past. Like many, many other things BDSM and D/s has evolved into something else. The internet has brought to the scene many people who participate on a casual basis or even on a strictly experimental level. You 46 year old OLDSCHOOL masters are not going to be running headlong into a gaggle of those 25 year old hotties you're seeking without also running into having to meet their criteria. As much as I know you OLDSCHOOL types wish it to be different, but really.. even someone who identifies as a slave gets to choose to whom they submit.. Err, unless they happen to be on a certain juxtaposing planet... Or more realistically, have put themselves in an environment where their presence is considered consent.
I swear I could fill three entries ripping into this asshole, but onward we must go.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjIlfbKf8oM&feature=related
This one.. This one is too cute to pass up. This is a 25 dominant from Washington and this kid is wearing a pair of sunglasses that somehow cannot hide the fact he looks like he's 12... This kid is also a little confused about something..Let me show you a little of his profile.
"Ok i am not to good at writing or telling about my self but hear i go i am 19 I have been a Master starting senc i was 16 and i loved it i am tall 6'3 and smat but mite not look it and strong plus i wreastled for 6 years. I love anal just to let you know so if you dont want that go on bye but i am also looking for any age and women mostly but men you have to prove your self more."
This made my eyes bleed a little with the terrible grammar, but this kid seems to be a little confused about how old he's supposed to be. In his profile he says he's 19 but the top of the profile says 25.
Eh, more than likely he's really 16.. He sure doesn't look old enough to shave...
That little baby face gives you away, cutie pie.
Hmm, here's a 25 female submissive in Indiana who just joined CM on 11-20-2010. She has a bit of a problem in the form of a needed surgery for her son and she is here to seek help. The sort of help she seeks is of course of the financial sort and in return you will get to use her either on the phone or on the webcam.. But not in person, yeah.
On the surface, this looks like someone who is simply a professional online submissive trying to get clients. If that's so I gotta say this is a sick fucking way to get said clients..Better to just say, "Hey, pay me and i'll be your webcam slut."
Err, if this is on the level... I dunno.. I just don't know.
Right then..I've been getting a bit of feedback from our submissive with the "send me a giftcard" bit in her profile.. Some of these responses are pretty much what I expected... but a couple are well.. just a bit out there.. here, lemme show you.
One cat sends her a message and relates a tale he heard about Abraham Lincoln.. He tells of Honest Abe getting a request from someone he didn't know where Lincoln responds that it's bad form to make such a request without including a self addressed stamped envelope.. Errr, he tells this story to make the point that it is bad form to ask for something of value as a precondition of a relationship.
Yeah we know..But why on earth didn't you just say that without the fucking story, ya jackass?
Next response..
"From: act4708 Dated: 11/22/10 1:24 AM Note: This user does not have an active profile Hey! I have talked to you before, not that it matters now, but your profile has gotten down right fucking retarded. 1#, That's not the way to meet quality people. 2#, you really are not that cute & should just be happy ANYONE is messaging you.#3, good luck with trying to be some weird of a online chat hooker. Basically, it's really not cool, and this is not the site to do it on. Good night & fuck you."
No active profile pretty much tells the story there.. But this next one... This next one.. Errrr
"From:
NoLimitsControl
Dated:
11/26/10 12:43 PM
The gift card/wish list thing totally proves you're a jew. Very amusing, to be honest. Unless it's some sort of test, to weed-out the pathetic, wannabe Doms and to amuse yourself in the process.
As you should know, a Domme will ask for a 'tribute', a submissive shouldn't. But I'm sure you won't reply, anyway."
Just have a look at this guy's profile and picture and make your own conclusions about the above message.
Ahhh.. Not gonna link the fake lesbian theme song this time... but our spotlighted fake lesbian is BitchRose..
This one... wellllllll.. Let's just say the name fits.. this guy has page after page after page of journals (7 pages)and is doing nothing in them except bitching about one thing or another. This asshole isn't even looking for the real thing, but online.. ONLINE!
Dude, even fake lesbians can only take so much complaining. Chill the fuck out and you just might find that perfect online subbie you're looking for. But probably not.. Just sayin'
Eh, enough for now.. But i'll be back.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Monday, November 15, 2010
In the D/s world we toss about such words as TRUST, HONESTY, RESPECT, INTEGRITY, HONOR and other catchwords to describe this thing of ours. Well at times we throw those words about so much they start to lose meaning and cause nausea, but that's a rant for a different day.
Take those above words and see if you can explain to me how you fit any of them when you are either in a "vanilla" relationship or married and need to be discreet.
"But, my wife doesn't understand me!" So how in the fuck did you manage to make those vows with someone you wanted to spend the rest of your life with, who doesn't understand you? I mean that IS what you were saying when you got married, yes? I swear I see so many profiles from people who say, "I've known all my life this is who I am." Yet they maintain they are married to someone who doesn't understand them.
Well ya doofus, if you've known all your life why the fuck didn't you find someone suitable for that interest BEFORE you married Mr or Mrs Vanilla? I mean come on, if this is SUCH a big part of you or the tried and true "It's just who I am", why didn't you find someone suitable back then? Fuck you and your need to be discreet, ya cheating fuckers.
Let us travel to the realm of the profiles.... to find the lulz of course. This one.. well this one is a real tear jerker.. Get your tissues ready for this.....
Mmmkay.. ready?
Right then.. This is a 30 Dominant from Indiana and this cat posted a profile as bad if not worse than all those "he pissed on my gift" profiles.. This is world class drama queen stuff, folks.. great reading..
Strike up the violins playing the soft, dark ballad as we hear the tale of the military man who out of the goodness of his heart took a 19 year girl off of the streets.. Took her out of the rags she was wearing and dressed her nicely.. fed her well.. put a roof over her head.. AND... Here's the capper.. bought her a mini laptop for use in the class he encouraged her to take.. HE GAVE HER A LIFE!!!!
But!!!.. But while he was away in another state taking a military class she turned on him!!! (cue the dramatic heart thumping music to fully convey the drama).... She and her 30 year old friend who was supposed to keeping an eye on her used his apartment to run a prostitution ring....
Ohhhh noeeeeeeeeeeessssssss!!
While he was out taking a military class and may very well have to go to Iraq she was giving herself to 10. count em TEN men!
Ohhhhhhh the humanity!
Right, if you find this pussy's profile... Well, suffice it to say it's more dramatic than what I just wrote... This dude wrote a fucking poem about her and put it on his profile.. A fucking poem!?!
Dude, really we feel your pain.. Now dry the tears and sack the fuck up.. Fucking whiny ass. Don't make me call out Sgt. Hartman on your ass.
Of course he could also be taking some errr artistic liberties with the truth on this and it didn't go down QUITE as he tells it. My guess is he hooked up with someone out of his league and she better dealed his pussy ass.
Here's another of those profiles where the writer just comes up with some out of this world shit and presents it as the truth..
This is a 41 dominant in Alabama who is the self proclaimed "arch bishop" of the house of Pain and Glory.
This cat isn't your run of the mill Master who invented himself online.. Oh no no no folks.. This guy is a fucking 3rd degree master in the lifestyle of BDSM who has also adopted some truth in the lifestyle of Gorean.
Umm, 3rd degree master? UH, I can't begin to imagine what under the realm of the great prophet Zarquon <--- Hitchhiker's guide reference.. Are the steps it takes to become a fucking 3rd degree master in the lifestyle of BDSM?
"Ahh backflogger, one must first learn to flog this rice paper without breaking it before you can aspire to the lofty heights of the 3rd degree."
The really funny part of this one's profile is at the bottom of it where he speaks of private sessions and he expects to be paid for them.. Yep, you read that right.. after the first session the quoted price must be paid in full.
I mean for realz, are you kidding me?
I'm going to do something totally out of character for me, and point you at a profile of someone for the purpose of reading something from someone who has a great sense of humor..
His name is Ponyboy75 and his journal entries are pure gold.. Check them out and drop him a line, give him his props for the journals.
I've purposely stayed away from making fun of the way someone looks because that's not how I roll... No fun in that, really.. But this is from a 35 female dominant in Wisconsin. Some of you may already know this person as this is the very same person who says she has a contract that has been "reviewed by lawyers".. (No longer in her profile, but a journal entry still references said contract.) Well, this isn't about her contract even though I think she's a piece of shit liar, it's about what is in her most recent journal entry.. (As an aside, there's a 48 female dominant in Florida who posted a journal entry about contracts and said it far better than I ever could.)
In it she wants to know why someone who is overweight is atuomatically assumed to be unhealthy, AND she's asked for an answer that makes sense to her.
She goes on to say that even though she is 5'9 and 200 lbs and considered overweight she is not unhealthy because she has a very low resting heartrate and and very quick recovery time from exercise. Yeah, she further states she unloads semis of hay easily and we the readers would do well to understand that muscle weighs more than fat.
Now, she's right on the money about that.. Muscle is indeed denser than fat. But to see this person's picures it throws a bit of doubt into what she claims about herself. You see, someone who is your height and weight and is indeed muscled does not LOOK as if she weighs 200 lbs...There is a 48 year old sub in Florida who had posted in jourmals about becoming discouraged when trying to lose weight via the workout route.. She at this time of that writing was 5'6" and said she weighed about 170. Her discouragement stemmed from the fact she was working hard but could not see the results on the scale. That person looks like they weighed significantly less and was toned. Why? Because muscle weighs more than fat!
YOU on the otherhand LOOK like you weigh 200 lbs. or more, and out of shape. Now, I am not trying to make fun of this bitch because she's overweight..I'm making fun of her lame posting trying to justify herself. Eh, why not just use the "i'm comfortable in my skin" line and tell those who don't like it to get to steppin'? If someone isn't interested in you because you are overweight, fuck them.
This has nothing to do with BDSM or CM but I find it funny.. (In a really weird, kinda sad sort of way)... I woke up this morning and after stumbling to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee I turned on the television while waiting for my coffee to be ready..
There was a news report about a sport that is now being played in many colleges... It's called Quidditch.. Apparently it's a little like soccer except the players are all riding brooms and knocking the ball through rings..
Time out..QUIDDITCH!?!?
Now I like Harry Potter as much as the next person.. Yes, i've read all the books. (err, several times.. I'm SO hot for Severus Snape!) and have seen all the movies.. But we've sent our kids to college to play fucking Quidditch? Are you fucking kidding me?
Nope.. as my head cleared a little I watched these college students dressed in maroon robes and they were riding brooms.. Well, in the same way one would ride those stick horses... tossing a ball around and throwing it at the rings.. This is an organized sport as well.. Umm, so what exactly is wrong with Lacrosse, or Field Hockey.. or even Soccer? But Quidditch?
I tell you what, if I had a kid who was in college and was in fact playing Quidditch, that kid better have a 4.0 average or they'd not be able to sit on their broom after I was done showing them about the position in Quidditch called "Beater."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5UfPij5ABdo&feature=fvwk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YmJob5rbNM&NR=1 <--- Harvard Quidditch..
Now how do you follow that? Ahh.. by going back to the profiles of course... I'm gonna spotlight two fake lesbians on this one.. Different people but with a common theme..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pc1am3KyYgA <--- Fake Lesbian Theme song
MistressKelly10 and Mistress4Online are our two spotlighted fake lesbians for this post.. They both are of course looking for online slaves.. webcam slaves.. uh huh... and they both add the caveat that you will not be seeing them on the camera or hearing their voice..
MistressKelly10 says, "Take it or leave it."
What I want to know about these two fake lesbians is this.. Umm, have either of you ever actually gotten someone to fall for that shit? If so, you owe it to the rest of the fake lesbian community to reveal the names of these gullible subs so that the other fake lesbian dominants can have a chance to have a go at them.. I mean it's only fair, right?
I somehow get the funny feeling the fake lesbian community has a decided lack of real women to play with. Well Duh!
Another funny thing I've seen in some profiles is when the person gets all pissed off when people they are not interested in VIEW their profile. Now come on, you can't seriously think you can control who views your fucking profile do you? I swear you'd think your privacy has been violated or something..
Right then, one more before I go.. This one i've meant to get on here but haven't found the room.. Ah, i'm getting to the point where the lulz are not quite so easy to find as they once were. No doubt because when I first created my UltimateDomme profile I had a laundry list of shit to post....
Also, I was all set to rip some kid on CM a new asshole on here and had put his profile on my favorites list so I could find it when I was ready.. WELLLLLLLL, he messaged me, curious to know why I was on his list of admirers. I told him straight up, I wanted to be able to find his profile for use on my blog.
.
The fucker changed his profile and took out the lulz..LOL..
Anyway, here's my salute to the fake lesbian who is a 30 lesbian dominant in California. This one has been around nearly three years and in Jan of 09 he posted a journal entry that basically cried about being tired of being called fake.. *smirk*... She also implores you the viewer of his profile not to listen to rumors.. yep yep..
But you gotta admire the lack of quit in this guy.. He's still around plying his "looking for a online slave" trade.
In his profile after the usual line of shit about what they want.. there's this...
"Oh, and for those of you who have heard rumors that I am a fake around here, that is totally false. Only uneducated, undisciplined, ignorant fools would say or believe those things."
Ummm, this dude has a picture that's both old and so obviously fake it's amazingly funny this guy can actually post the above. I can't help but wonder about the thought patterns going on here.
Ah, since i'm running out of easy material the postings aren't likely to come as quickly as they did, but i'll still be out there collecting the lulz..
Until then..
Take those above words and see if you can explain to me how you fit any of them when you are either in a "vanilla" relationship or married and need to be discreet.
"But, my wife doesn't understand me!" So how in the fuck did you manage to make those vows with someone you wanted to spend the rest of your life with, who doesn't understand you? I mean that IS what you were saying when you got married, yes? I swear I see so many profiles from people who say, "I've known all my life this is who I am." Yet they maintain they are married to someone who doesn't understand them.
Well ya doofus, if you've known all your life why the fuck didn't you find someone suitable for that interest BEFORE you married Mr or Mrs Vanilla? I mean come on, if this is SUCH a big part of you or the tried and true "It's just who I am", why didn't you find someone suitable back then? Fuck you and your need to be discreet, ya cheating fuckers.
Let us travel to the realm of the profiles.... to find the lulz of course. This one.. well this one is a real tear jerker.. Get your tissues ready for this.....
Mmmkay.. ready?
Right then.. This is a 30 Dominant from Indiana and this cat posted a profile as bad if not worse than all those "he pissed on my gift" profiles.. This is world class drama queen stuff, folks.. great reading..
Strike up the violins playing the soft, dark ballad as we hear the tale of the military man who out of the goodness of his heart took a 19 year girl off of the streets.. Took her out of the rags she was wearing and dressed her nicely.. fed her well.. put a roof over her head.. AND... Here's the capper.. bought her a mini laptop for use in the class he encouraged her to take.. HE GAVE HER A LIFE!!!!
But!!!.. But while he was away in another state taking a military class she turned on him!!! (cue the dramatic heart thumping music to fully convey the drama).... She and her 30 year old friend who was supposed to keeping an eye on her used his apartment to run a prostitution ring....
Ohhhh noeeeeeeeeeeessssssss!!
While he was out taking a military class and may very well have to go to Iraq she was giving herself to 10. count em TEN men!
Ohhhhhhh the humanity!
Right, if you find this pussy's profile... Well, suffice it to say it's more dramatic than what I just wrote... This dude wrote a fucking poem about her and put it on his profile.. A fucking poem!?!
Dude, really we feel your pain.. Now dry the tears and sack the fuck up.. Fucking whiny ass. Don't make me call out Sgt. Hartman on your ass.
Of course he could also be taking some errr artistic liberties with the truth on this and it didn't go down QUITE as he tells it. My guess is he hooked up with someone out of his league and she better dealed his pussy ass.
Here's another of those profiles where the writer just comes up with some out of this world shit and presents it as the truth..
This is a 41 dominant in Alabama who is the self proclaimed "arch bishop" of the house of Pain and Glory.
This cat isn't your run of the mill Master who invented himself online.. Oh no no no folks.. This guy is a fucking 3rd degree master in the lifestyle of BDSM who has also adopted some truth in the lifestyle of Gorean.
Umm, 3rd degree master? UH, I can't begin to imagine what under the realm of the great prophet Zarquon <--- Hitchhiker's guide reference.. Are the steps it takes to become a fucking 3rd degree master in the lifestyle of BDSM?
"Ahh backflogger, one must first learn to flog this rice paper without breaking it before you can aspire to the lofty heights of the 3rd degree."
The really funny part of this one's profile is at the bottom of it where he speaks of private sessions and he expects to be paid for them.. Yep, you read that right.. after the first session the quoted price must be paid in full.
I mean for realz, are you kidding me?
I'm going to do something totally out of character for me, and point you at a profile of someone for the purpose of reading something from someone who has a great sense of humor..
His name is Ponyboy75 and his journal entries are pure gold.. Check them out and drop him a line, give him his props for the journals.
I've purposely stayed away from making fun of the way someone looks because that's not how I roll... No fun in that, really.. But this is from a 35 female dominant in Wisconsin. Some of you may already know this person as this is the very same person who says she has a contract that has been "reviewed by lawyers".. (No longer in her profile, but a journal entry still references said contract.) Well, this isn't about her contract even though I think she's a piece of shit liar, it's about what is in her most recent journal entry.. (As an aside, there's a 48 female dominant in Florida who posted a journal entry about contracts and said it far better than I ever could.)
In it she wants to know why someone who is overweight is atuomatically assumed to be unhealthy, AND she's asked for an answer that makes sense to her.
She goes on to say that even though she is 5'9 and 200 lbs and considered overweight she is not unhealthy because she has a very low resting heartrate and and very quick recovery time from exercise. Yeah, she further states she unloads semis of hay easily and we the readers would do well to understand that muscle weighs more than fat.
Now, she's right on the money about that.. Muscle is indeed denser than fat. But to see this person's picures it throws a bit of doubt into what she claims about herself. You see, someone who is your height and weight and is indeed muscled does not LOOK as if she weighs 200 lbs...There is a 48 year old sub in Florida who had posted in jourmals about becoming discouraged when trying to lose weight via the workout route.. She at this time of that writing was 5'6" and said she weighed about 170. Her discouragement stemmed from the fact she was working hard but could not see the results on the scale. That person looks like they weighed significantly less and was toned. Why? Because muscle weighs more than fat!
YOU on the otherhand LOOK like you weigh 200 lbs. or more, and out of shape. Now, I am not trying to make fun of this bitch because she's overweight..I'm making fun of her lame posting trying to justify herself. Eh, why not just use the "i'm comfortable in my skin" line and tell those who don't like it to get to steppin'? If someone isn't interested in you because you are overweight, fuck them.
This has nothing to do with BDSM or CM but I find it funny.. (In a really weird, kinda sad sort of way)... I woke up this morning and after stumbling to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee I turned on the television while waiting for my coffee to be ready..
There was a news report about a sport that is now being played in many colleges... It's called Quidditch.. Apparently it's a little like soccer except the players are all riding brooms and knocking the ball through rings..
Time out..QUIDDITCH!?!?
Now I like Harry Potter as much as the next person.. Yes, i've read all the books. (err, several times.. I'm SO hot for Severus Snape!) and have seen all the movies.. But we've sent our kids to college to play fucking Quidditch? Are you fucking kidding me?
Nope.. as my head cleared a little I watched these college students dressed in maroon robes and they were riding brooms.. Well, in the same way one would ride those stick horses... tossing a ball around and throwing it at the rings.. This is an organized sport as well.. Umm, so what exactly is wrong with Lacrosse, or Field Hockey.. or even Soccer? But Quidditch?
I tell you what, if I had a kid who was in college and was in fact playing Quidditch, that kid better have a 4.0 average or they'd not be able to sit on their broom after I was done showing them about the position in Quidditch called "Beater."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5UfPij5ABdo&feature=fvwk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YmJob5rbNM&NR=1 <--- Harvard Quidditch..
Now how do you follow that? Ahh.. by going back to the profiles of course... I'm gonna spotlight two fake lesbians on this one.. Different people but with a common theme..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pc1am3KyYgA <--- Fake Lesbian Theme song
MistressKelly10 and Mistress4Online are our two spotlighted fake lesbians for this post.. They both are of course looking for online slaves.. webcam slaves.. uh huh... and they both add the caveat that you will not be seeing them on the camera or hearing their voice..
MistressKelly10 says, "Take it or leave it."
What I want to know about these two fake lesbians is this.. Umm, have either of you ever actually gotten someone to fall for that shit? If so, you owe it to the rest of the fake lesbian community to reveal the names of these gullible subs so that the other fake lesbian dominants can have a chance to have a go at them.. I mean it's only fair, right?
I somehow get the funny feeling the fake lesbian community has a decided lack of real women to play with. Well Duh!
Another funny thing I've seen in some profiles is when the person gets all pissed off when people they are not interested in VIEW their profile. Now come on, you can't seriously think you can control who views your fucking profile do you? I swear you'd think your privacy has been violated or something..
Right then, one more before I go.. This one i've meant to get on here but haven't found the room.. Ah, i'm getting to the point where the lulz are not quite so easy to find as they once were. No doubt because when I first created my UltimateDomme profile I had a laundry list of shit to post....
Also, I was all set to rip some kid on CM a new asshole on here and had put his profile on my favorites list so I could find it when I was ready.. WELLLLLLLL, he messaged me, curious to know why I was on his list of admirers. I told him straight up, I wanted to be able to find his profile for use on my blog.
.
The fucker changed his profile and took out the lulz..LOL..
Anyway, here's my salute to the fake lesbian who is a 30 lesbian dominant in California. This one has been around nearly three years and in Jan of 09 he posted a journal entry that basically cried about being tired of being called fake.. *smirk*... She also implores you the viewer of his profile not to listen to rumors.. yep yep..
But you gotta admire the lack of quit in this guy.. He's still around plying his "looking for a online slave" trade.
In his profile after the usual line of shit about what they want.. there's this...
"Oh, and for those of you who have heard rumors that I am a fake around here, that is totally false. Only uneducated, undisciplined, ignorant fools would say or believe those things."
Ummm, this dude has a picture that's both old and so obviously fake it's amazingly funny this guy can actually post the above. I can't help but wonder about the thought patterns going on here.
Ah, since i'm running out of easy material the postings aren't likely to come as quickly as they did, but i'll still be out there collecting the lulz..
Until then..
Monday, November 8, 2010
Hey hey hey.. I've gotta let some folks know that the blog at collarmebusts is NOT my blog nor am I associated with that blog other than having linked to it. I've said on at least two occasions I don't think most of us need to have someone running photos through Tineye to know that centerfold quality lesbian ain't real... But I think that blog is funny.
SPEAKING of fake lesbians, i've noticed quite a few of them have posted "proof pictures" on their profiles to assure you the supplicant for their attentions they are indeed real.
Uh huh, the only problem with these proof pictures is they take the photo in such a way that you cannot tell who the picture is of. One rocket scientist took a picture of a sign that says the name and collarme.. etc.. Umm, but the photo is ONLY of the sign, and a quite large hand holding it up. If you look at the hand holding the sign, you will notice the hand has fingernails that are very, very closely cropped..Er, and there is a bit of hair on the knuckles..
Come ON man!
Another one shows several pictures of a woman posing in a kitchen, sitting on the counter and what have you.. The "proof" picture is simply a sign on the floor of the same kitchen.. the woman is not in the photo. Great, so this fake lesbian hired some woman to take photos and must have forgotton to have the woman hold the friggen sign... Jackass.
This is a lot of trouble to go through to fool others.... To collect pictures? I don't get that because there are literally hundreds of thousands of pictures available for free on the internet. Or maybe those pictures are trophies of a sort, who the fuck knows?
Seriously, i'd love it if a fake lesbian would message me on collarme and explain exactly why you do it. I promise I will not reveal your name here... No really, I won't.
Then there's a 35 lesbian dominant in Cyrpus and a 39 lesbian submissive in Bosnia.. the same person... And the submissive has a proof picture that appears to be on the level... Hmmmmmm..
A couple of updates...
One submissive female messaged me after my last entry and said she'd love to put the "You must send me a gift card to prove your worthiness" in her profile.. My response was "go for it and send me the funny messages you get." Her name is sojewtastic and her profile is a good one.
Well, she did it. It's right at the top of her profile and so far the sort of responses she's gotten are right about what I expected.
"DeathVenom04 Dated: 11/4/10 2:37 AM Send gifts or tributes to a sub? You must be delusional. Good luck with that."
Yeah, now go look at this guy's profile and get your lulz.. Betcha can't guess what this guy is showing in his photos.
After my last blog entry I got a message from a submissive woman who told me the shitbag called SlaveTransportCo had contacted her. I was curious to know what sort of line of shit he uses when he contacts women and here's what she said..
"told me to meet up with him, stay with him for awhile and then he would know which master would be good for me. Then he would contact him and bring me to him. He says he has requests from masters all over the country."
Soooooooo.. that's his game eh? He talks some submissive into staying with him for awhile and he apparently evaluates them to know which Master she would be most right for.. What a great guy.. And he gets requests from Masters all over the country has he? Here's another little tidbit.. The above submissive was also on a bit of a down, and vulnerable.
That makes SlaveTransportCo a first class predator in my book. Yet another reason it's a bad idea to put in your profile or journals that your heart is broken or something of that sort. You never know how many assholes like this guy is out there waiting to pounce.
Ah, I would LOVE to hear from any Master who has successfully contracted this slimeball to deliver a slave to him.
After adding one particular dominant to my favorites list, I got a message from him and he noted my blog and hoped he'd not be a subject of my ridicule. Remember when I posted that bit about adding someone to my favorites list and what it meant? Well, this guy got it.
Now, would I ridicule someone on my blog? LOL, well maybe a little.. ANYWAYYYYYYYY.. there are some lulz in this cat's profile i've got to pass along, and also I have a little issue with something he posted.. (Well, not just him.. but the general attitude.. wait, i'll get to it.)
In his very long profile he has like 10 bullet points.. Some make sense, and one is unintentionally funny as hell.
He says that if you've been on collarme for a year or longer and are still searching, you need to stay away from him.
Right, I suspect he believes if you've been there over a year and are still single there MUST be something wrong with you. Cool, that's his opinion and I respect it.. I respect it SO much that I feel almost duty bound to point out that he has been on collarme well over a year, since Jan. 2009.
Umm, Oops?
He also has a complaint about certain submissives who feel that dominants must prove their worthiness. Yeah right, here's another overinflated ego who believes because he is a DOM he does not need to show he is worthy of someone's submission.
Well, that's the typical neanderthal attitude of someone looking for a doormat. More power to him I suppose but... Let me buy you a vowel... nah fuck it.. Stay in your cave, Grog.
Here's one from a 55 year old dominant in Virginia. This dude says he's REAL old school.....He was taught by his grandmother.
Let's allow that to sink in for a moment... sniff the bouquet... swirl it around.. Right then.
In what sort of warped reality does one learn D/s-BDSM from your grandmother? No really, can ANYONE imagine a scenario where one actually learns about D/s or BDSM from their GRANDMOTHER?
"Gee golly Granny.. can you show me how to do figure eights with a flogger?"
"Okay. but don't tell your mom," says Granny as she takes out the flogger to demo it for him.
Give me a fucking break.
Ah okay onward.. onward.. This is for all of you who have in your profiles complaints about people on CM who aren't actually looking for anything. Why the fuck do you care if someone else is on CollarMe and is not looking for anything? Does that make it harder for you to find the ONE when you see a profile and they state they are not looking? Just move on the next profile... sheeeeeeeesh!
Okay.. Now it's time to rip into the people who say they REQUIRE "tribute" but go on to say they are not professionals.
.
Reality check time, bitches.. The moment you accept payment (Yeah, call it tribute to make you seem less like a prostitute.) for your "services" you are a professional. I don't care if said "tribute" is a gift card or something from your wish list, you're being paid to dominate, and that makes you a professional.. End of line.
And again, you professional dommes using CM to advertise for free need to also get over yourselves and stop the whining about getting messages from people who don't wanna pay. Put up a fucking website and pay for your damned advertising.
Here's one that makes you go, "Ummm..."
This is from a 31 female slave in Ontario, Canada.. She joined at the end of october like just over a week ago as of this writing... Here's the journal entry..
"Hates having a list of 'admirers" i never talked to, if You cant say a simple hello or something nice, this will result in you being blocked.... thank You"
Ummmm... Now if these people haven't sent you any messages what the fuck do you think it's going to accomplish to block them from doing what they aren't doing in the first place? You know I get the childish need to threaten people who are doing things you don't like, but for fuck's sake at least THINK about what you post..
Oh dear me... Just when i'm about to write something else here I took a little break from writing and checked out CM.. I had someone view my profile and then send me a friend request.. I had to have a look.. and this profile is a chock full of laughs..
This is a 35 lesbian dominant from PA.. Get ready for some major belly laughs..
"So you understand, I can be as cruel as I want, because all of My life, people have done exactly what I tell them to do. EVERYBODY. I am a truly superior woman in every way. You will fall in love with me instantly (if you haven't already just from reading My profile)"
Oh my my my... I'm already soaking wet.
She goes on to list the three types of people she would allow to message her.. Slaves, dommes who want to be her slave, and dommes who want to share their slaves.. And includes specific instructions on what to do when messaging her.. Ready?
"If you fit into one of those categories, and ONLY if you fit into one of those categories you may write to Me. Unless you are a #3 you will do the following before writing to Me.... You must strip completely naked, kneel in front of the computer, and plug your ass. If you don't have a butt plug, use a dildo. If you don't have a dildo, use a hair brush handle, or a broom handle. You will not write to Me unless your ass is full. This is important - in your message you will tell Me what you put in your ass. That way I know you read everything and you can obey. You will also include photos. They don't have to be nude (though preferred), but I want to clearly see your face, and your body."
#3 on her list is other dommes who may want to get together with her for the purpose of sharing your slaves with each other.. Yeah..
Ah.. She goes on to give a warning to any Domme who is thinking they are going to break her as what happens to many other fake lesbians...
"I don't care how good of a Domme you think you are, I will never kneel for you. I don't kneel for anybody, ever. You are talking to a woman who makes Her parents kneel for Her when She sees them, so give it up... I won't break."
Now, after I picked myself up from the floor having fallen off my chair laughing so hard, I did her the honor of sending her a message to inform her just how hilarious I thought her profile was, and thanked her..
Errrr, apparently she was serious in her profile.. ooopsie.. She sent me back a message wanting to know what was so funny about it.. Of course the bitch answered her..
"That whole "gotta plug your ass to message me" bit was pretty funny..
But I tell you, that "I even make my parents kneels for me" is pure comedy gold..
Really, thank you for bringing your profile to my attention. I can't wait to share it with my readers.."
Hey she can't say I didn't tell her beforehand, right? Ah, I waited a few minutes for a reply from her.
Interestingly enough... she didn't send back another reply.. Doesn't that beat all ya ever heard? Come to find out, if she sends a friend request if means she thinks you're attractive enough to consider..
Ah, and here I thought she was just wanting to show my how funny her profile was.. Ah well, my bad.
That's it for now.. See ya soon.
SPEAKING of fake lesbians, i've noticed quite a few of them have posted "proof pictures" on their profiles to assure you the supplicant for their attentions they are indeed real.
Uh huh, the only problem with these proof pictures is they take the photo in such a way that you cannot tell who the picture is of. One rocket scientist took a picture of a sign that says the name and collarme.. etc.. Umm, but the photo is ONLY of the sign, and a quite large hand holding it up. If you look at the hand holding the sign, you will notice the hand has fingernails that are very, very closely cropped..Er, and there is a bit of hair on the knuckles..
Come ON man!
Another one shows several pictures of a woman posing in a kitchen, sitting on the counter and what have you.. The "proof" picture is simply a sign on the floor of the same kitchen.. the woman is not in the photo. Great, so this fake lesbian hired some woman to take photos and must have forgotton to have the woman hold the friggen sign... Jackass.
This is a lot of trouble to go through to fool others.... To collect pictures? I don't get that because there are literally hundreds of thousands of pictures available for free on the internet. Or maybe those pictures are trophies of a sort, who the fuck knows?
Seriously, i'd love it if a fake lesbian would message me on collarme and explain exactly why you do it. I promise I will not reveal your name here... No really, I won't.
Then there's a 35 lesbian dominant in Cyrpus and a 39 lesbian submissive in Bosnia.. the same person... And the submissive has a proof picture that appears to be on the level... Hmmmmmm..
A couple of updates...
One submissive female messaged me after my last entry and said she'd love to put the "You must send me a gift card to prove your worthiness" in her profile.. My response was "go for it and send me the funny messages you get." Her name is sojewtastic and her profile is a good one.
Well, she did it. It's right at the top of her profile and so far the sort of responses she's gotten are right about what I expected.
"DeathVenom04 Dated: 11/4/10 2:37 AM Send gifts or tributes to a sub? You must be delusional. Good luck with that."
Yeah, now go look at this guy's profile and get your lulz.. Betcha can't guess what this guy is showing in his photos.
After my last blog entry I got a message from a submissive woman who told me the shitbag called SlaveTransportCo had contacted her. I was curious to know what sort of line of shit he uses when he contacts women and here's what she said..
"told me to meet up with him, stay with him for awhile and then he would know which master would be good for me. Then he would contact him and bring me to him. He says he has requests from masters all over the country."
Soooooooo.. that's his game eh? He talks some submissive into staying with him for awhile and he apparently evaluates them to know which Master she would be most right for.. What a great guy.. And he gets requests from Masters all over the country has he? Here's another little tidbit.. The above submissive was also on a bit of a down, and vulnerable.
That makes SlaveTransportCo a first class predator in my book. Yet another reason it's a bad idea to put in your profile or journals that your heart is broken or something of that sort. You never know how many assholes like this guy is out there waiting to pounce.
Ah, I would LOVE to hear from any Master who has successfully contracted this slimeball to deliver a slave to him.
After adding one particular dominant to my favorites list, I got a message from him and he noted my blog and hoped he'd not be a subject of my ridicule. Remember when I posted that bit about adding someone to my favorites list and what it meant? Well, this guy got it.
Now, would I ridicule someone on my blog? LOL, well maybe a little.. ANYWAYYYYYYYY.. there are some lulz in this cat's profile i've got to pass along, and also I have a little issue with something he posted.. (Well, not just him.. but the general attitude.. wait, i'll get to it.)
In his very long profile he has like 10 bullet points.. Some make sense, and one is unintentionally funny as hell.
He says that if you've been on collarme for a year or longer and are still searching, you need to stay away from him.
Right, I suspect he believes if you've been there over a year and are still single there MUST be something wrong with you. Cool, that's his opinion and I respect it.. I respect it SO much that I feel almost duty bound to point out that he has been on collarme well over a year, since Jan. 2009.
Umm, Oops?
He also has a complaint about certain submissives who feel that dominants must prove their worthiness. Yeah right, here's another overinflated ego who believes because he is a DOM he does not need to show he is worthy of someone's submission.
Well, that's the typical neanderthal attitude of someone looking for a doormat. More power to him I suppose but... Let me buy you a vowel... nah fuck it.. Stay in your cave, Grog.
Here's one from a 55 year old dominant in Virginia. This dude says he's REAL old school.....He was taught by his grandmother.
Let's allow that to sink in for a moment... sniff the bouquet... swirl it around.. Right then.
In what sort of warped reality does one learn D/s-BDSM from your grandmother? No really, can ANYONE imagine a scenario where one actually learns about D/s or BDSM from their GRANDMOTHER?
"Gee golly Granny.. can you show me how to do figure eights with a flogger?"
"Okay. but don't tell your mom," says Granny as she takes out the flogger to demo it for him.
Give me a fucking break.
Ah okay onward.. onward.. This is for all of you who have in your profiles complaints about people on CM who aren't actually looking for anything. Why the fuck do you care if someone else is on CollarMe and is not looking for anything? Does that make it harder for you to find the ONE when you see a profile and they state they are not looking? Just move on the next profile... sheeeeeeeesh!
Okay.. Now it's time to rip into the people who say they REQUIRE "tribute" but go on to say they are not professionals.
.
Reality check time, bitches.. The moment you accept payment (Yeah, call it tribute to make you seem less like a prostitute.) for your "services" you are a professional. I don't care if said "tribute" is a gift card or something from your wish list, you're being paid to dominate, and that makes you a professional.. End of line.
And again, you professional dommes using CM to advertise for free need to also get over yourselves and stop the whining about getting messages from people who don't wanna pay. Put up a fucking website and pay for your damned advertising.
Here's one that makes you go, "Ummm..."
This is from a 31 female slave in Ontario, Canada.. She joined at the end of october like just over a week ago as of this writing... Here's the journal entry..
"Hates having a list of 'admirers" i never talked to, if You cant say a simple hello or something nice, this will result in you being blocked.... thank You"
Ummmm... Now if these people haven't sent you any messages what the fuck do you think it's going to accomplish to block them from doing what they aren't doing in the first place? You know I get the childish need to threaten people who are doing things you don't like, but for fuck's sake at least THINK about what you post..
Oh dear me... Just when i'm about to write something else here I took a little break from writing and checked out CM.. I had someone view my profile and then send me a friend request.. I had to have a look.. and this profile is a chock full of laughs..
This is a 35 lesbian dominant from PA.. Get ready for some major belly laughs..
"So you understand, I can be as cruel as I want, because all of My life, people have done exactly what I tell them to do. EVERYBODY. I am a truly superior woman in every way. You will fall in love with me instantly (if you haven't already just from reading My profile)"
Oh my my my... I'm already soaking wet.
She goes on to list the three types of people she would allow to message her.. Slaves, dommes who want to be her slave, and dommes who want to share their slaves.. And includes specific instructions on what to do when messaging her.. Ready?
"If you fit into one of those categories, and ONLY if you fit into one of those categories you may write to Me. Unless you are a #3 you will do the following before writing to Me.... You must strip completely naked, kneel in front of the computer, and plug your ass. If you don't have a butt plug, use a dildo. If you don't have a dildo, use a hair brush handle, or a broom handle. You will not write to Me unless your ass is full. This is important - in your message you will tell Me what you put in your ass. That way I know you read everything and you can obey. You will also include photos. They don't have to be nude (though preferred), but I want to clearly see your face, and your body."
#3 on her list is other dommes who may want to get together with her for the purpose of sharing your slaves with each other.. Yeah..
Ah.. She goes on to give a warning to any Domme who is thinking they are going to break her as what happens to many other fake lesbians...
"I don't care how good of a Domme you think you are, I will never kneel for you. I don't kneel for anybody, ever. You are talking to a woman who makes Her parents kneel for Her when She sees them, so give it up... I won't break."
Now, after I picked myself up from the floor having fallen off my chair laughing so hard, I did her the honor of sending her a message to inform her just how hilarious I thought her profile was, and thanked her..
Errrr, apparently she was serious in her profile.. ooopsie.. She sent me back a message wanting to know what was so funny about it.. Of course the bitch answered her..
"That whole "gotta plug your ass to message me" bit was pretty funny..
But I tell you, that "I even make my parents kneels for me" is pure comedy gold..
Really, thank you for bringing your profile to my attention. I can't wait to share it with my readers.."
Hey she can't say I didn't tell her beforehand, right? Ah, I waited a few minutes for a reply from her.
Interestingly enough... she didn't send back another reply.. Doesn't that beat all ya ever heard? Come to find out, if she sends a friend request if means she thinks you're attractive enough to consider..
Ah, and here I thought she was just wanting to show my how funny her profile was.. Ah well, my bad.
That's it for now.. See ya soon.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Hey I made a startling discovery this morning. I was browsing profiles as usual looking for the lulz when it occured to me i'd not seen any profiles from people who are either in Ghana or Nigeria. It makes me wonder if we're seeing (or NOT seeing in this case) another change in the way things are done at CollarMe.. Hmmm.. I mean the chance that all those Ghana slaves have found homes is.. well, the odds have to be pretty up there.
I wonder if we can also chalk that up to the services of the one on CM who is currently using the name SlaveTransportCo? You've seen this guy, he says he runs some sort of service where he matches up slaves who are seeking with owners who are also seeking. Of course he does this for a fee, yes? Of course he does lol.
Now I can't say for sure if this is on the level,(This is my new diplomatic attitude, of course this clown is full of shit but I feel the need to be diplomatic.. shhh, don't tell.) but I found at least one thing in this person's profile that is a bit off kilter. He tends to put the places he happens to be at a given time in his journals. As an example, on 10-27-10 at 11:25 am he is in Houston, Tx and at 3:42 the same day he has arrived in Hope, Ar.
Cool, he managed to take a 6 hour drive and do it in 4 hours.. Not only is he performing this valuable service for those searching, he's a fast little bugger as well, hehe. Well I guess if you're a travel expert like this cat is, you can find ways to make the trip through towns such as Lufkin, Tx. much quicker than us mere mortals. If you read through this guy's journals I promise you'll either be in stitches laughing, or wondering how this is possible.
He provides pictures as well. His covered Ford F-250 with some sort of box in the cargo area.. (Well, the slaves being transported need some place to sit, right?) Great stuff this profile, good for a few laughs at the very least.
Nah, I think CM scores another thumbs up on this one.
Here's something for those of you who have changed your name for whatever reason. (well, to get rid of stalkers is a common reason.) You know I get that, and I certainly would never make light of cyberstalking..
But um, exactly how much good does it do to change your name and then on the profile of your new name explain that you did and who you used to be? Doesn't it occur to you that changing your identity rather loses its effectiveness when you tell everyone what you did? I mean come on, if you're trying to hide from someone you're not exactly making it difficult to find you again, now are you?
Now we've all seen the profiles of those dommes who require a tribute for their attention. Oh hell, i've made no secret of the fact I think those cunts are the scum of the earth. But I just wonder.. *giggle* I just wonder what would happen if one or more submissive women were to add that, "If you want my attention you must prove your worthiness by sending me a gift card." to their profiles?
Heheheh, can you just imagine the cry of rage that would come from the dominants (especially those "I don't care what you want" sorts) if this were to happen? Oh come on, that would be some funny shit. In fact, is there a female submissive reading this that would be willing to do it and then forward to me some of the responses you get?
Oh my, i've met my male counterpart.. A genuine Grand Master of the European traditions who was trained by a granddaughter of Masoch. Oh well, this cat is serious though... Hey, have any of you ever read Venus in Furs?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdIyvdbsJhI <-- Velvet Underground - Venus in Furs
A bit of trivia here... The daughter of the Grand Niece of Leopold Masoch is Marianne Faithfull. Right then...
"Hi there! I read your profile and got confused...
UltimateDomme... Switch... slave... Grand Mistress... Do you really understand what you are talking about after those three weeks of intensive training 'under a European and an Asian Master'? It sounds like that Master or Masters of yours are just self-proclaimed dominants with no elementary education in BDSM traditions and culture.
I am a lifelong Master, professionally trained in an European tradition of BDSM (my Mistress was a grand daughter of Mr. Masoch - I hope that you know this name), and it took me years and years to earn Master status, then Grand Master status, and then MasterTrainer status... For more info, please, read my entire profile and journal entries...
If you are serious about BDSM traditions and culture and want to become a certified Mostress, I will be glad to educate and coach you as a founder of Alt & BDSM College (see AltCollege on this site and go to (link edited out.).
Anyway, I will be glad to talk to you...
Looking forward."
Well fuck, and all this time I thought being a line cook at IHOP was just a sideline for that Asian master.Wait until I see that lying sonofabitch again! If you check out the screen name he mentions i'm pretty sure you'll get a hearty laugh.
Well, this guy believes people like me (self-proclaimed doms and dommes) have destroyed the traditions of BDSM. Check it... If someone sees within you or I something that makes them want to serve us.. THAT is what makes us Masters and Mistresses., not going through all sorts of shit to become a "certified mistress" in the European traditions.
Oh, the techniques can and I feel SHOULD be learned, (demos are wonderful) but you cannot teach the instincts. Of course if the whole old guard bit is your thing, more power to you. Just don't be surprised when you try to push it on others and you get laughed at.
I honestly believe this guy read my profile and missed the fact the entire first paragraph was making fun of that whole bit.
"Well, I know that my opinion doesn't matter to you. What matters people like you ignoring BDSM traditions and rules, destroing BDSM culture... This is very sad..."
My reply to him on CM is the same as it is here.. "Get over yourself!"
But BDSM traditions and rules? Destroying BDSM culture? Oh come on man!
On to the profiles we go.. hi ho hi ho.. na na na na..
Er, this comes from the journal of a 40 female dominant in Mass.
"Talking with a male sub who tells me he wont put up with my smoking....mind you this is after he agrees to lick his own cum from a dog dish."
Now doesn't this one just take the biscuit? Here we have some uppity subbie who refuses to be around someone who smokes but will lick up his own cum from a dog dish.
Hey i'm going to let you in on a little secret here. You smokers may not know this, but those of us who do not smoke can smell it on you. SOME of us even become physically ill when smelling the smoke all over you
.
SOME of us even understand that second hand smoke is just as bad if not worse than when you smoke in the first place.
So this sub is willing to do humiliating things but refuses to put up with something he very likely sees as detrimental to his health, and you don't get that? Well bitch, you don't deserve to call yourself Domme with that sort of disregard for someone who would submit to you.
Now go stand in the corner and think about it.
And let's see.. a 19 year old dominant in Florida. This one, I dunno, just makes me want to do more to that domme above than put her in the corner. Well, let's get to it.. first from his profile.
"I am faithful to an absolute and hope to find a life partner on here. I do want to marry and have children so let me know if that's a problem. I might be interested in a temporary relationship. I may be young, but I am mature and virile. I have several years experience as a Master/Dominant, experienced in several things. I am also a quick learner, eager to try new techniques and have new experiences."
Now we've covered this one before. Beating up on your little brother doesn't qualify as experience as a dominant/master. Nor does being 14 or 15 and playing dom on the internet. Yes, I concede that with the internet it is possible and likely for those who are not of adult age to find and be exposed to D/s online, it does not qualify as actual experience.
Now, let's have a look at one of his journal entries.
"Misogyny. Quite an interesting word. Quite an interesting feeling. I think it's part of why I'm so angry, because I don't have some slave or sub to release my aggression and sexual tension on. I want to make a female feel pain and torment before I use her to get off."
Right, in his profile he states he is looking for a life partner, to marry and have kids. Yeah great, he follows this up with the above journal entry where he pretty much says he's a misogynist.. There's no doubt what this cat is looking for is a doormat, and anyone getting involved with this dude better know they ain't gonna be lounging about on the sofa all day watching soap operas and eating bon-bons.
This is from the journals of a 43 female submissive in California.
"As of 10/9/10 the man i have been staying with, seriously asked me to be with him, to stay with him... he doesn't want to collar me at the moment, but he does want full control over who and when i play. He is my protector, so playing with others is not out of the question. I am being well used by him, he keeps me on edge everyday. I feel very useful and wanted."
Yeah, but he doesn't want to collar you eh? Oh he might eventually but you can bet your bottom dollar this guy is looking to better deal your ass. I think it's a good bet in the next few months this one's profile is going to change and be one of those, "I was hurt so bad" sort of profiles.
Then again, if you allow yourself to get involved in that way.. Well nevermind..
Okay a quick disclaimer before I end this posting..
This blog is meant only to be a forum to post my sarcastic and hopefully funny views. I have been getting messages from a couple of people who wish me to use my blog for other reasons such as outing someone's ex boyfriend as being gay. (Yeah, I got a long letter last week requesting I do that, and even included information about that person that should not be given to a stranger on the internet.)
That sort of shit won't be happening on this blog.
Oh one more quickie before I go. Chuck is now back home at his parent's house and he told he that he has as of this writing claimed his mohawk grenades and is a warrior of some sort in WoW.
I know this is being posted on the 1st, here's a little tribute to the great Freddie Mercury, lost to us on Nov. 3, 1991.. One day after he confirmed the rumors he indeed had contracted the AIDS virus.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=irp8CNj9qBI&feature=related
I wonder if we can also chalk that up to the services of the one on CM who is currently using the name SlaveTransportCo? You've seen this guy, he says he runs some sort of service where he matches up slaves who are seeking with owners who are also seeking. Of course he does this for a fee, yes? Of course he does lol.
Now I can't say for sure if this is on the level,(This is my new diplomatic attitude, of course this clown is full of shit but I feel the need to be diplomatic.. shhh, don't tell.) but I found at least one thing in this person's profile that is a bit off kilter. He tends to put the places he happens to be at a given time in his journals. As an example, on 10-27-10 at 11:25 am he is in Houston, Tx and at 3:42 the same day he has arrived in Hope, Ar.
Cool, he managed to take a 6 hour drive and do it in 4 hours.. Not only is he performing this valuable service for those searching, he's a fast little bugger as well, hehe. Well I guess if you're a travel expert like this cat is, you can find ways to make the trip through towns such as Lufkin, Tx. much quicker than us mere mortals. If you read through this guy's journals I promise you'll either be in stitches laughing, or wondering how this is possible.
He provides pictures as well. His covered Ford F-250 with some sort of box in the cargo area.. (Well, the slaves being transported need some place to sit, right?) Great stuff this profile, good for a few laughs at the very least.
Nah, I think CM scores another thumbs up on this one.
Here's something for those of you who have changed your name for whatever reason. (well, to get rid of stalkers is a common reason.) You know I get that, and I certainly would never make light of cyberstalking..
But um, exactly how much good does it do to change your name and then on the profile of your new name explain that you did and who you used to be? Doesn't it occur to you that changing your identity rather loses its effectiveness when you tell everyone what you did? I mean come on, if you're trying to hide from someone you're not exactly making it difficult to find you again, now are you?
Now we've all seen the profiles of those dommes who require a tribute for their attention. Oh hell, i've made no secret of the fact I think those cunts are the scum of the earth. But I just wonder.. *giggle* I just wonder what would happen if one or more submissive women were to add that, "If you want my attention you must prove your worthiness by sending me a gift card." to their profiles?
Heheheh, can you just imagine the cry of rage that would come from the dominants (especially those "I don't care what you want" sorts) if this were to happen? Oh come on, that would be some funny shit. In fact, is there a female submissive reading this that would be willing to do it and then forward to me some of the responses you get?
Oh my, i've met my male counterpart.. A genuine Grand Master of the European traditions who was trained by a granddaughter of Masoch. Oh well, this cat is serious though... Hey, have any of you ever read Venus in Furs?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdIyvdbsJhI <-- Velvet Underground - Venus in Furs
A bit of trivia here... The daughter of the Grand Niece of Leopold Masoch is Marianne Faithfull. Right then...
"Hi there! I read your profile and got confused...
UltimateDomme... Switch... slave... Grand Mistress... Do you really understand what you are talking about after those three weeks of intensive training 'under a European and an Asian Master'? It sounds like that Master or Masters of yours are just self-proclaimed dominants with no elementary education in BDSM traditions and culture.
I am a lifelong Master, professionally trained in an European tradition of BDSM (my Mistress was a grand daughter of Mr. Masoch - I hope that you know this name), and it took me years and years to earn Master status, then Grand Master status, and then MasterTrainer status... For more info, please, read my entire profile and journal entries...
If you are serious about BDSM traditions and culture and want to become a certified Mostress, I will be glad to educate and coach you as a founder of Alt & BDSM College (see AltCollege on this site and go to (link edited out.).
Anyway, I will be glad to talk to you...
Looking forward."
Well fuck, and all this time I thought being a line cook at IHOP was just a sideline for that Asian master.Wait until I see that lying sonofabitch again! If you check out the screen name he mentions i'm pretty sure you'll get a hearty laugh.
Well, this guy believes people like me (self-proclaimed doms and dommes) have destroyed the traditions of BDSM. Check it... If someone sees within you or I something that makes them want to serve us.. THAT is what makes us Masters and Mistresses., not going through all sorts of shit to become a "certified mistress" in the European traditions.
Oh, the techniques can and I feel SHOULD be learned, (demos are wonderful) but you cannot teach the instincts. Of course if the whole old guard bit is your thing, more power to you. Just don't be surprised when you try to push it on others and you get laughed at.
I honestly believe this guy read my profile and missed the fact the entire first paragraph was making fun of that whole bit.
"Well, I know that my opinion doesn't matter to you. What matters people like you ignoring BDSM traditions and rules, destroing BDSM culture... This is very sad..."
My reply to him on CM is the same as it is here.. "Get over yourself!"
But BDSM traditions and rules? Destroying BDSM culture? Oh come on man!
On to the profiles we go.. hi ho hi ho.. na na na na..
Er, this comes from the journal of a 40 female dominant in Mass.
"Talking with a male sub who tells me he wont put up with my smoking....mind you this is after he agrees to lick his own cum from a dog dish."
Now doesn't this one just take the biscuit? Here we have some uppity subbie who refuses to be around someone who smokes but will lick up his own cum from a dog dish.
Hey i'm going to let you in on a little secret here. You smokers may not know this, but those of us who do not smoke can smell it on you. SOME of us even become physically ill when smelling the smoke all over you
.
SOME of us even understand that second hand smoke is just as bad if not worse than when you smoke in the first place.
So this sub is willing to do humiliating things but refuses to put up with something he very likely sees as detrimental to his health, and you don't get that? Well bitch, you don't deserve to call yourself Domme with that sort of disregard for someone who would submit to you.
Now go stand in the corner and think about it.
And let's see.. a 19 year old dominant in Florida. This one, I dunno, just makes me want to do more to that domme above than put her in the corner. Well, let's get to it.. first from his profile.
"I am faithful to an absolute and hope to find a life partner on here. I do want to marry and have children so let me know if that's a problem. I might be interested in a temporary relationship. I may be young, but I am mature and virile. I have several years experience as a Master/Dominant, experienced in several things. I am also a quick learner, eager to try new techniques and have new experiences."
Now we've covered this one before. Beating up on your little brother doesn't qualify as experience as a dominant/master. Nor does being 14 or 15 and playing dom on the internet. Yes, I concede that with the internet it is possible and likely for those who are not of adult age to find and be exposed to D/s online, it does not qualify as actual experience.
Now, let's have a look at one of his journal entries.
"Misogyny. Quite an interesting word. Quite an interesting feeling. I think it's part of why I'm so angry, because I don't have some slave or sub to release my aggression and sexual tension on. I want to make a female feel pain and torment before I use her to get off."
Right, in his profile he states he is looking for a life partner, to marry and have kids. Yeah great, he follows this up with the above journal entry where he pretty much says he's a misogynist.. There's no doubt what this cat is looking for is a doormat, and anyone getting involved with this dude better know they ain't gonna be lounging about on the sofa all day watching soap operas and eating bon-bons.
This is from the journals of a 43 female submissive in California.
"As of 10/9/10 the man i have been staying with, seriously asked me to be with him, to stay with him... he doesn't want to collar me at the moment, but he does want full control over who and when i play. He is my protector, so playing with others is not out of the question. I am being well used by him, he keeps me on edge everyday. I feel very useful and wanted."
Yeah, but he doesn't want to collar you eh? Oh he might eventually but you can bet your bottom dollar this guy is looking to better deal your ass. I think it's a good bet in the next few months this one's profile is going to change and be one of those, "I was hurt so bad" sort of profiles.
Then again, if you allow yourself to get involved in that way.. Well nevermind..
Okay a quick disclaimer before I end this posting..
This blog is meant only to be a forum to post my sarcastic and hopefully funny views. I have been getting messages from a couple of people who wish me to use my blog for other reasons such as outing someone's ex boyfriend as being gay. (Yeah, I got a long letter last week requesting I do that, and even included information about that person that should not be given to a stranger on the internet.)
That sort of shit won't be happening on this blog.
Oh one more quickie before I go. Chuck is now back home at his parent's house and he told he that he has as of this writing claimed his mohawk grenades and is a warrior of some sort in WoW.
I know this is being posted on the 1st, here's a little tribute to the great Freddie Mercury, lost to us on Nov. 3, 1991.. One day after he confirmed the rumors he indeed had contracted the AIDS virus.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=irp8CNj9qBI&feature=related
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