This is the dawning of the Age of Ophiuchus ..

That doesn't even sound right..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9oq_IskRIg

Yeah yeah, I get it.. the stars aren't aligned and all the charts had to be redone and all that shit... But do they realize just how badly they've fucked up the dating scene?

Oh come on, all those people who had their zodiac sign and used it as a pick up line..

"Hi there, i'm a Virgo with my Leo rising," says Mr. Cool. "So, uh what's your sign?"
"I'm an Ophicuchus," she says..

You see how fucked up that sounds?

Even worse are the people who would like to tell folks how they definitely displayed all the known traits of their sign.. How is that gonna play when they've had their sign changed to something else? That's a lot of egg on a lot of faces.

And Scorpio.. Man, Scorpio just plain got fucked in this deal. Scorpio definitely didn't have a good attorney in there fighting for its rights as a zodiac sign. 


Hey rememeber when I said way back when that someone needed to message a certain peron and tell him 1977 wanted their clothes back? Someone must have done it. He viewed my profile and when I peeked at his profile, the cat is now wearing leather pants and an open jacket.. Good on ya, fella, good on ya...


Right, this one.. I just don't know what to say. I've been approached with some weird opening lines, But. well..

This is a message I got from a 32 lesbian submissive in Indiana..

"Dear Ultimate Domme,i dont mean to be rude but i want to eat your poop."

The message goes on to ask how much they would need to tribute to make that happen.

Uh yeah, umm.. You know maybe if this were someone I've like known for awhile it wouldn't be so bad. But I'm sitting here trying to figure out how or IF it's remotely possible to send the above to a stranger and NOT have it sound rude..

Sooooooo.. I send back a message that said, "You know, "hello, how are you" would have done quite nicely."

Great, so she sends another message that says that.. And then goes on to repeat the poop eating bit.. *smirk* Uh yeah.. I was like, "Get away from me!!"

Sheeeeh.. Got to be one of those crazy motherfuckers. No, come to think of it, even if it's someone i've known a long time I don't believe I want them to voice this particular desire.


Just when I am starting to think things are started to get stale someone from my past popped up to cross my path again.. When I first began an individual called Cabbagesub stole his way into my family and made off with a collar.. When Chuck decided to move back to his Parent's basement to play WoW and eat a lot of cheetos, the Cabbagesub also disappeared... Hmmm..

But he's back, and his profile and journals are still hilarious... Here are a couple of them for you.

"1/7/2011 6:58:31 AM:
This site has done everything to improve. New fonts, chatrooms, blocking options. It's not their fault most of you suck"

Hey HE said it.. not me.. LOL

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLlPTyzgeQU&feature=related <-- speaking of sucking.

"1/7/2011 6:16:55
I am once again selling my used tighty whities. Contact me for pricing details..........."

You gotta love it! Oh yes, he now has a new photo on his profile that shows what a cabbagesub looks like after "being used" by UltimateDomme... You gotta check him out.. And don't forget to send props for the humor.
 

I've never seen this one before, and when I saw it I nearly fell out of my chair laughing. It's definitely one of the more umm.. simple and accurate definitons i've seen. This is from the profile of an 18 female switch in Michigan..

""A slave cleans your boots until you say they are done. A submissive cleans your boots until they think they are done. A bottom says "clean your own damn boots now beat me!""



Here's a 46 female switch from Australia.. Uhhh

"Here seeking a Gorean Master (non bdsm), must be strict, real life and not into online play.

Some around know me as a Free Woman & have been active within the bdsm world for approx 4 years.

To me Gor and BDSM are two seperate lifestyles, Gor to me is a way of life and BDSM is a form of entertainment."

*blank stare*

No, i'm saying nothing else..


All right.. Here's another of those people who has a profile on CM to do what..? Heh.. check it out.. This is a 52 dominant in New Mexico.

"This place is seriously a joke. Want to know why it's a joke? Because too many on this site are a joke. There's a few real people. They live this Life, as they can, to varying degrees. But on the whole, it's a bunch of wannabes. Both from dom and sub side alike. Subs thinking their pussy's are gold. Dom's thinking they have to chase the pussy. Hmmmm, sounds like nilla to me. Buncha folks just livin this in their heads. Bunch of fuckin players. Who play act this Life."

Now, this profile goes on and it's more of the same, he goes on about how it was "back in the day" and how subs knew their place and doms didn't have to "chase the pussy".. He speaks of certain traits a dominant has so and so forth..

But he's missed the point on something... Now i'm sure in his righteous anger it just slipped his mind.. But he seems to have missed the point that a trait of a dominant does NOT have to be that he's an asshole.

Here's one more quote from the same profile.

"And (some of) the girls LOL they're a joke too. All these "no limit" slaves running around. Or the girls that complain because a dominant was dominant to them. Well no shit honey. This ain't nilla no more. you come on a site with a bunch of Doms and then act surprised and indignant that they would try to dominate you in the first mail? Oh gimme a break. Like I said, bunch of fuckin wannabes."

I have a question for this guy.. and anyone else who would care to answer it..

Would you really want a sub or a slave that CAN be had in the first email?  I know I sure wouldn't, but that's just me.

Now, here's a journal entry from this guy..

"ya know. It amazes me. It's very simple really. However, perhaps that's why it escapes so many. Once a girl agrees to serve whomever, her decision making process for that relationship dynamic is done. because from that point, it's hers to serve. not direct. not decree. not "allow". it's hers to serve at the direction and pleasure of her Owner. Simple."

On it's own, i'd even agree with this journal entry. But what would you imagine would be needed before a couple reaches the point where she makes that decision to serve?

Well.... TIME for one. She's going to have to know what she's getting herself into and if she's at all sane it's NOT going to happen quickly. She's going to have to be assured that the dominant actually knows what he's doing and isn't just a shit talker with a god complex.

Oh yes! Don't you for a moment lose track of the fact the vast majority of you people who rant about these things very likely would do the D/s scene as a whole a great favor to stay the fuck away from it.

Do you want to know who the REAL doms are on CM? They are the ones who do not feel the need to brag about what they are capable of or any of that shit. They will approach you with a profile that seems very mild and he will approach you in a very neutral, "I want to get to know you" way.

Don't discount him because he's not coming on like gangbusters right out of the gate. He won't have to tell you that he's a dominant. Ya see, a real "leader" is followed because those who follow them WANT to do so.

A submissive woman does not need you to tell them you're a good dominant, not at all... She needs you to SHOW her.

Ah fuck, I done went and got serious... Let me find a funny to end this with....


Here's something.. I actually got a message from one of the fake lesbians i've mentioned here.. This one's profile said that it has come to her attention that someone was trashing her name and wanted to opportunity to defend herself, and apparently someone told her.

I think that's quite fair and when she messaged me I replied that I would be happy to post any rebuttal or defense she wished to make unedited on this blog.

Ummm, it's been two days since she read that offer and has yet to respond so I don't have high hopes at this point.. I wonder if that's because in my reply I ended it by saying..

"I've give you this though, you're the first fake lesbian to actually have the nuts to say something to me, props to you on that."