Typing is going to be a bit difficult for me in the next few weeks. I was at the gym taking a Zumba class when my knee gave out and down I went... Apparently I tried to break the fall with my hands and whelp... bad idea, broken bones in my right hand....(I said apparently because it happened so fast I don't remember.) Yeah, I don't have a kneecap in one of my knees so it's prone to just give out at random times, and this time it was when I was in the middle of a thrust... First time I actually got hurt though. Now I know, I know it's not a good idea to break your fall with your hands but the brain sees a large hard object heading your way. (The ground) and the hands automatically shoot out. And errrr, i've yet to master that whole failing to miss the ground bit when trying to fly.

Soooooo.. i'm sitting in the emergency room with my hand throbbing and the triage nurse is sitting there bitching because she's having trouble spelling some of the medications i'm on.. I'm like "fuck you, just get it close and let me see a fucking doctor already!" Heheh, yeah I laugh at myself about shit like this.. Or rather I will when the fucking thing stops hurting.

That reminds me, people in the medical profession.. (EMS people in particular) who are into "medical BDSM" really scare the shit out of me. There were a couple such people who were a part of group I used to belong to.. These two would start discussing cases and you could see the gleam in their eyes.. I stayed the fuck away from them. No no no.. That's taking job satisfaction a little too far...

Oh yes, and when you nurses are trying to take blood and you keep missing the vein.. it's not MY fucking fault!! "rolling veins" or "collapsed veins" .. "alligator skin.." How come there's always that one person in the office who can hit the vein first time, every time? huh? huh? huh?

And please, no sympathy messages... Err and any requests for pictures of the cast/splint better be accompanied by plenty of cash.. (Eh, kidding... kidding...)

Oh if you've never done Zumba I highly recommend it. It's high energy and a lot of fun to do. It sure beats the hell out of the damned nautilus circuit.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qsSrq3HBa7A&feature=related


Right then, here we go into the profiles..

This is another of those assmunchers who is pretending to be a military guy.. This one's name on CollarMe is masterjaz and is a 27 dominant in California.... Here's his line of shit...

"Hi, I saw your profile and would like to get to know you. I have been in the lifestyle since I was 18. I spent the past 8 years in Iraq doing 4 tours of duty and only got back 5 days ago. I'm currently in CA awaiting my release orders and will be returning to LA once the processing is completed.

Heres a lil about me that would possibly explain my character and identity as a dominant. I was kicked outta home when I was 15, basically cause it was difficult at home and i ended up living on the streets for 2 years, eating off bins and finding shelter wherever I could. This period in my life taught me a big lesson about security and being assertive, as its a very dangerous world out there, esp on your own as a 15 year old. I learned to look after myself, fight for my survival and I believe was the starting point of my evolution as a dominant male, although I strong believe I've always had that characteristic trait within me. At 17, I was introduced to the Army, who were initiating a recruitment drive for homeless/uneducated kids, to be trained, given an education and also a situation which they provided shelter and food. It was the best thing for me and hence, I enlisted.

The was a proviso though, 2 tours in Iraq. I ended up doing 4 tours which gave me the ability to also continually study and specialize, I have a masters degree in counter terrorism and am a counter insurgence specialist. I am a warrior at heart. I am true to myself and my desires, a very straight forward person. As for my search for a female who I could call my better half, in this lifestyle. I cannot see myself with any vanilla girl. I have desires, needs and wants that cannot be satisfied by females outside this lifestyle.

I'm being straight up, I'm a provider and protector and this would emulate my need for a female who believes in herself as a true sub or interested in learning, we could grow together, thats my motto. Looking for someone who is the same, in the hope that it could develop into a long term relationship. Thats pretty much me in a nutshell."

Oh, this one is FUNNY though... It's funny because i'm going to show you the epic failsauce of this clown..

First, the first photo on his profile is from one of those beefcake websites, gorgeousboys I think it was.. Right, and then the person he chose to use his pictures is a marine reservist and not in the army as jazzy here claims.. Nor has he ever been deployed to a combat zone as our hero here claims he has.. ummmm..

Hold on, hold on, this gets good.. You see the person on the website (The actual person in the photo) is the very same person who in 2009 beat a Greek Orthodox Priest with a tire iron when the man who could barely speak English, was asking for directions. This happened in Tampa and the man's name is Jasen Bruce. Look up that name on google after you've checked out this asshole's profile... And errr.. feel free to raz his ass while you're at it.

More about that tire iron bit.. At first Bruce said he thought the man said Allahu Akbar (God is great) which Bruce said, "That's what they say before they blow you up." Later, Bruce changed his story and said the priest was trying to hit on him and grabbed his goodies, using the "gay panic" defense... But that's off point here..

This one is funny because of the person our hero masterjaz is pretending to be on collarme... Epic fail.


This next one is kind of cute and a bit funny.. This is a 19 dominant in Utah and I swear, he's spent time reading profiles of dominants.. he HAD to have because.. Well let's look at his profile..

"I might be young, but I am fit to command!!

I'm not fake...I'm totally honest. I will not play games!!!! I am serious!!!
I'm new here looking for my future partner. I'm 19; I may be young and look underage. I'm going to College for film and arts. I don't really know what to say but if you want to know anything just ask? I'd love to talk to everyone and get to know you if possible! Do not confuse my compassionate nature as a weakness... I'm honest and true to myself and not really good with first impression message!!!!
I'm looking for my future!! Not ever going to be a femboy!!!
PM me or live chat I don't care if you do.
 If you want to talk on yahoo or live messenger… Message me!"

Mmmm, he's wrong about one thing though... Dress him up in a skirt and feed a nice 8 inch strap-on up his butt and he'll squeal just like a little girl.. Never gonna be a femboy huh?

Another kid who looks like he should be playing third base on a little league team trying to play dom on the internet. :-P Eh, he's a cutie though.


Here's a submissive who took a well aimed shot at some dommes in one of her journals, and it made me giggle to read.. I must pass it along.. This is a 21 female submissive in Canada and here's the journal..

"i have just finished reading about 6 profiles with rants of various lengths on them warning people against 'wasting My precious time with' (pick one) short messages, long messages, messages without a picture, messages that use internet shorthand, messages that don't use proper terminology, messages that dont have tribute attached...and the list goes on. 
  
The vast majority of these profiles belong to Dommes...i guess us subbies dont mind having our time wasted, haha!  Anyway...an observation...if You have time to come on collarme at ALL..You have time to waste...lol....oppss...sorry...damm internet shorthand... "

Oh SNAP! You tell em! Of course you know the Dommes are gonna come right back at you with the fact that since you're sub it doesn't matter about your time, because they're like the Domme, yanno? Heh, good one though.

Ahh and this just in.. I knew that sooner or later someone was gonna post a profile with the stated goal of starting a new country.. We've already read about the Amazonian Templars and the New Spartans.. But this one.. errrr.. It was sent to me like ummm.... just now.. here it is....

This is a 21 female dominant in Washington....

"Hi, my name is Kelly.  Nice to meet you.

I am a beautiful goddess and deserve to be worshiped and adored by all.  Men, women, dominant, submissive, you all ought to be on your knees before the almighty Kelly!

I am looking for lots of people, because I am trying to start my own country.  Even my own personal country (it will be called "Kellyrike") isn't near what a girl of my beauty and intelligence deserves, but it would be a nice start. 

There isn't enough room for my country though, because the greedy twats who run the world already divided it up.  So my plan is to take the nation of Antigua and Barbuda and declare it mine.  "Wait a second, Kelly, that's absurd!" you may be thinking.  I'm pleased to tell you that it is not.  Antigua and Barbuda has one of the smallest and most ill-financed militaries in the world, mainly because nobody even knows where the fuck it is so it's pretty safe. 

I am looking to build an army to help me overthrow the silly country.  I fully expect most of you to join my army and become slaves to my will.  I am your commander, queen and goddess and you will worship me and obey my every order.

If any of you stupid fucks want to mess with me, I will get my revenge, if word of this effort gets out to the Antigua and Barbudan government or the U.S. government, you will suffer for it.
Also, this is completely legal.  The constitution doesn't have a "no private armies" clause, that's a common myth. 

I am a strong believer in female supremacy.  Men have always bothered me ever since I was a little girl, they think they're so much better than us.  How stupid can you get?  When I establish Kellyrike, girls will have positions of authority, while boys will be peasants and soldiers.  Only the most worthy boys will be even considered for positions in the government.

If you are ready to seek higher meaning in your life and submit to the future queen of the world, send me a message and I will tell you what you can do for me and how you can join my noble cause."

I swear if I didn't know any better i'd say I wrote this profile myself.. But nope, can't take credit for this one.

Eh, i'm up much too late.. Off to post this and then off to make sleepy night-night.