4-10-11

I know, it's been a long time since i've posted and you've all been eagerly waiting for more.. Errrr you HAVE, right?

Um okay then, it's not that I was running out of shit to post really, but it's gotten to the point where i'm looking at the same profile but written in different ways. We've all seen that profile many times, it's the one that is so unrealistic the only people who could ever take it seriously should have "victim" tattooed on their forehead.

Such as, I favorited one profile that I was going to use here because it said something about how sexually driven his slave would be.. then went on to state that he'd remove their labia, hood, and clitoris to make them a better slave. Errr, yeah that'll go a long way toward keeping some girl sexually driven, huh?  Nothing like a little desensitizing multilation to bring out that sex drive, eh?

Well, the guy starts messaging me and then followed a long exchange that ended with me being blocked *giggle* and me writing up what amounted to an entire blog post just on this one asshole. Not that it wasn't funny, it was in fact hilarious but I decided not to post it because really it was nothing new. I could post it now but he's since changed his profile to take out the funniest shit, but what's the point?. I'll just keep what I wrote... Just because, yanno?

So I start asking myself if i'm holding off posting something because it wasn't new.. Where the fuck do I go from here?

Eh, I have no fucking idea so we'll just muddle about and see what happens.. Translation: Who cares if the shit is new as long as it's funny.


Right then, here's something that really needs to be placed in the category of things that should not have to be said, ever..

This is from the profile of a 51 dominant in Ohio..

"The last decision you will make is when you decide to become my slave. Before you make that decision, you will know what it is that I will do to and with you including that I am not into subjecting my slave to death or serious injury."

You know on the surface it's probably comforting to know this guy isn't into subjecting his slave to death, wouldn't you say? But errr, is it just me but doesn't it just seem that if someone feels to need to state this up front this is likely someone you shouldn't want anywhere near you?

Actually in my opinion if you have to for any reason suspend disbelief when viewing someone's profile there should be red flags waving, lights flashing, sirens blaring and all sorts of other warning signs happening inside your head.

As for the above person, other than that one line his profile is basically the typical profile of that type. It has the usual castle realm shit in the journals and several pics from the net of women in various poses and what have you.. along with the sunglasses picture. I'm not saying this guy is a whack job or anything like that.. but that one line in his profile just makes me wonder..


I've very nearly put a disclaimer in my profile that says that it is a joke profile, very nearly.. Umm, until I remembered that the most fun I have with the UltimateDomme profile are with the people who read the profile and don't get it. It's really pretty sick that there have been as many people and there have who have had the intended humor go over their head.

Heh, and then there are the people who for whatever reason are offended by my profile..

Such as this 52 trans switch from *giggle* Mississippi who recently sent me the following message.

"I can not believe you are still playing this game..and it is just a stupid parody....get the hell off this web site if you are not serious...."

Oh but I AM serious about my humor. If the ratio of the positive vs. the negative messages i've gotten and continue to get weren't something along the order of 99-1 i'd probably say to myself, "gee, this shit ain't going over so well." And i'd disappear into the ash heap of history.

But since this isn't the case i'll simply continue on with with i'm doing, have fun doing it, and advise you that if you don't like the fucking thing, don't read it.. hide my profile so that I don't even show up when you're browsing for those "psydo-lesbian lovers" <-- His words... you're seeking.


Ah, now I want to say a few words about the MsStrict77/MistressGaby saga. Some of you will remember in January I put on my profile that they both belonged to me and anyone who wanted to use them need only send me a message. (As a point of interest I got a TON of requests.. Fuck!)

Lemme splain to ya how and why that happened. When I first started this profile I commented that I was considering telling those who read my profile and still asked to "join my house" to put that in their profile. I didn't do so because I naively said the stupid need to be protected, not exploited.

Ah, in the middle of September I had an exchange with MsStrict during which I called him an idiot and even posted on this blog about that exchange..

Right then, in January this MsStrict person messages me AGAIN flirting and what have you..I was in a feisty mood at that time so I took a different approach and within 5 messages MsStrict agreed to be mine. Now, upon further exploration it became revealed that even though he knew I am not the person in that picture, he wanted to belong to me BECAUSE of that picture.. Yep, nevermind all else, it was the picture.

I'm not kidding ya... Now, he's already in the middle of something with this MistressGaby person so I had to take them as a package deal. Yeah okay, so i've got two all of a sudden. It got funny right away when the requests started coming in... mostly from men. (Ah, these two were billed as lesbians,. heh) I was like, "Fuck yeah, have at em.."

Eh, I was also getting more than a few messages from people warning me they were not who they said they were which was pretty funny really.

Anyway, after about a week of me playing air traffic controller.. "Ah roger, you're cleared to use mistressgaby.. Follow the dom on final..." gaby decides she wants to send me a "proof picture". I told her not once, not twice, but three times I did not want said picture but she insisted...

The picture I got was a pathetic photoshop and this is when the funny part for me got started.. It turns out mistressgaby is in fact a crossdresser called MaidAlice and I will say Maidalice had a pretty nice body.... passable on that score, but not in the face.

Eh, this idiot went totally out of his way to get caught.. So I of course sent him packing.. Not for being fake, I already KNEW that.. But for being Stoooooooopit..

MsStrict followed shortly after, when I kicked her to the curb for not doing as she was told. Now, to specify, she was told that she was to do anything she was asked to do within her hard limits, by the people that were given permission to use her, yes yes? Right then, someone asked for a revealing pic and this was refused, so out the door she went.

We had one more conversation on Yahoo where I told her that I was aware she was a guy since September. Of course she denied it so I asked for a picture of her holding a local newspaper.

MsStrict hasn't logged on since then (1-31-11) and MistressGaby's profile either no longer exists or is hidden.. MaidAlice is also gone...


Oh, i'm pretty sure they're both still around with new names.. hehehe.. As a matter of fact gaby is now using the name Sexysecretary and actually messaged me. It took me two messages to recognize his distinctive typing style, but he of course denied it.... lol. I won't even mention that a tineye search on the pictures in his profile reveals that they are all over the internet. Shhhhhhhhhhh don't tell!

This is clearly a case of someone getting smacked REAL hard with the stoopid stick.

So, that's how and why it happened... Just me minding my own business and the lulz falling right into my lap.


This next profile, I had to read several times. At first glance I will say that something I could not quite put my finger on seemed .. errr off... Anyway, this is a 42/24 Dom/Domme couple in North Dakota and have a poly house.. Errr.. okay here's the first paragraph of this profile.. But this one also goes into the category of things that need not be said.

"I am the head of a polyamorous house. The dynamics of the house are as follows, Xxxxxx (my wife) is a Domme/Mistress, I am a Dom/Master. We have a sub (xxxx) and a slave (Xxxx, who by the way is transgendered). We have 2 wonderfull kids that come first before anyone one, who are vanilla but are used to us being poly."

Okay, so his wife is 24 and they have two kids.. I got that, no problem.. They come first before anyone, fantastic.. good attitude about the kids.. they are vanilla..

FREEZE!!!

Ummm, you really felt the need to mention in your profile that your kids are vanilla? Eh, if your wife is 24 the kids can't be much older than toddlers.. No, seriously why is this even mentioned?

Come on man!!


Okay, i'd really like to know the identity of the first person to put this in their CollarMe profile.. If for nothing else than to know who it is that really needs a swift kick in the posterior region.

"Any institutions or individuals using this site or any of its associated sites for studies or projects - You do NOT have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current and future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications. It is recommended that other members post a similar notice to this"

I suspect this particular disclaimer was done in response to some study that was done by the University of Sydney... I've seen this mentioned in some of those disclaimers..

But ummm... Folks.. Errrr.. You do know Collarme is an anonymous site, yes? By anonymous I mean that when you sign on you are not required to give any information about yourself.In fact you don't even have to have an account on CM to browse profiles. Any information that you DO give is for profile purposes and is totally voluntary.. You don't have to tell the truth in this information.. (But we know that no one would actually lie about those things, right?)

That means any words in your profile/journal are also voluntary...

So tell me, how can there be a violation of your PRIVACY on a site where no expectation of said privacy is present or implied aside from the fact you don't have to tell anything about yourself?

To all of you who have this in their profile... Bitch, please!


I swear I think Geraldo Rivera is actively campaigning for a Darwin Award. Did you see that video of him with the Lybian rebels? Wellllllll... He's in this pickup truck with his cameraman and a few of the rebels and all of a sudden the shooting starts.
.
We see Geraldo getting out of the back of this truck.. and then he stoops down and starts to scoot away from the truck... still holding his microphone, yelling into it.. Gotta report the human drama, yes?

Yeah uh, a few seconds later we see that he scooted to about 20 or so feet away from the truck... OUT IN THE FUCKING OPEN!! Uhh, i'm no military mastermind or anything like that but when the shooting starts the place to be is on the other side of the fucking truck so that the person who wants to pop you a new asshole in the middle of your forehead has a bit of trouble doing so because of that hunk of steel you're hiding behind.

Shit, even the people with the guns to shoot back at them are taking refuge.. That tell you something?


Eh, enough for now.. I may not post all that often but as I said last time, i'm still around. watching...waiting...