Just when I am thinking it is going to be at least a week before I will be able to post again I start getting a plethora of messages from people on CM directing me to specific profiles. Being the curious, nosy, and lulz hunting bitch I am; I of course had a look at those profiles and added them to my favorites list for further examination.

Yes, yes folks. If UltimateDomme on CollarMe has become an admirer of yours, it is NOT because I want to get to know you better. No, it's because i'm going to be having a close look at your profile to see if there is anything lulzworthy <-- one word, that's right... in there. Now, if you think you're going to slip that, "You don't have my permission to use my photos/words, so there" in your profile and it will keep you safe.. Think again.. that shit is public and there ain't a damn thing you can do about it.

 *sweet smile*

So let's have a look at some of these profiles and see what sort of skeletons we can dig up. <-- Ya dig the halloween reference there?

We're going to ring that irony bell on this one. This is a 55 year old Dominant from France. In his profile he states...

"Incidentally, I've been around long enough to spot fakes a mile off.  Like most people I can spot a studio shot, but unlike most I can also find the source of many stolen images.  It used to be part of my job.

So don't bother contacting me if your profile uses stolen images, if it only has one studio image, however well cropped, or if you have no images on your profile and don't send one with your message."

Well, isn't that specialllllllllllll? Let's dig a little further into this profile and see what we can find, shall we?

If you view this guy's full profile, you find he has ONE friend. (Yay! A friend) His one friend is a 21 year old female switch also from France.

Mr "I can spot a fake a mile off's" friend is a very cute little blonde with pink highlights and she looks amazingly like Alexis Grace, the American Idol contestant. As a matter of fact the photo in this profile *IS* Alexis Grace..

I don't want to be the one to say it, but it's pretty ironic that someone who sends messages to those and has a go at them for weeding out fakes, (Yeah, you know who I mean.) and claims to be able to spot them a mile off gets fooled by someone using the photo of Alexis Grace and passing it off as herself. (Or himself mayhap? I'm also thinking they could be one inthe same person.)

This bud's for YOU, ya stoopid sumbitch. And listen to the irony bell ringing out loud.


Right then, on we go to the next contestant.. And this one I suspect is rather on the nefarious side, but I don't know for sure. I'll let you all decide that one.

This is a 19 year old female dominant in New York who says she has PerfectTits <-- hint hint.

"i get off on the idea that my perfect titties cause instant erections (and wetness). So i have decided to have a contest: Wank to my pictures and then send your description of it -- the more creative the better. AND I WILL MEET IN PERSON WITH THE WINNING ENTRY (assuming you can cum to New York) AND ALLOW YOU TO VIEW MY TITS IN PERSON AND WANK AND SQUIRT IN FRONT OF ME!

No further relationship: you will rent a motel room; I will show up (with my security); you will be on the bed and not allowed to step off it; I will be across the room. I will strip off my shirt and bra and you will masturbate. If you want to make me happy (rather than just making yourself happy), then you will eat your mess for me.

This contest will run until I have 50 stories in my journal. I and some of my friends will choose the winner. Girls can enter, too! Impress me to undress me!

And yes, my tits are 100 percent natural God-given."

I have a strange feeling that when someone finally "wins" this contest and they get that hotel in New York, a sexy blonde with the greatest tits in the world is not going to be the one who knocks on your door. No, I rather suspect you're going to be visited by a couple of gorillas who will do hurtful things to your body and empty your wallet for you. Now I don't know that for SURE, but I sure don't buy the crap that is in this profile. Or perhaps the person behind that profile is just looking for hot stories, who knows?

Oh and Miss PerfectTits? When God gave you those perfect titties he seems to have forgotten to get rid of those implant scars underneath them.

Right then, the next one on the docket is a 25 year old dominant from Saint Louis. Before I show you the selected paragragh for this guy's profile, I want to point out this cat claims to have been involved in the lifestyle "many years."

Yeah okay, here's the paragraph.

"I seek either  a sub for few meets here and there or a full live/tpe slave. the sub/slave  must being willing to push her limits , have some limits be punishments, and hard the hard limits not be crossed at all. I am a masochist, i like causing pain , although this is a plus in a sub/slave and i do seek this , I understand if you do not have a high level of pain . The sub/slave must have a brain and able to keep a conversation and my interest. I find there is to talk about the longer my interest will be how ever "drama" although OK to talk about is not good to talk about all the time."

Uhh, now maybe i've read this one's profile and missed something, but since when is someone who likes causing pain a masochist?

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say this guy is pretty much full of shit. what'cha think?


I've gained a fan of a certain fake lesbian. Well, not so much a fan as someone who has made it a point on two occasions to message me and tell me i'm FAKE!

Ohh noooooooooeesss.. Now, i'd have looked at her profile to see if there was anything funny contained within, but she has a blank profile aside from three pictures.. of at least two different people this one is presenting as being them. Now, Elvira85 is in the Netherlands so it's possible he doesn't understand English very well And doesn't get the fact that my profile is complete satire,(Told him three times) I don't know. But he's sure self righteous about having found my profile and it seems I am not telling the truth in it. *eyeroll*

What I don't get is why people voluntarily put their head in the lion's mouth. Really, if you send someone like me those sorts of messages i'm gonna layeth the smacketh down upon you. If you smellllllll what the.. Eh, nevermind.

I got a message from someone in the UK yesterday evening wondering what the fuck I was talking about when I mentioned Prop 19 in California.

What it is, is a measure to make the possession of up to an ounce of marijuana legal in that state. If it passes, it will certainly give a whole new meaning to the words of the song California Dreaming, eh?

Again, this is not a political statement other than to say it's a prop I am interested in seeing the results of. I'm going to make it point to keep my political beliefs out of this blog. I want this to be for entertainment only. :-P

TTFN.