I'm back!!

Heh, how many profiles have you seen on CM where that is the first line in the profile? It's as if they are some sort of hot commodity and now they're announcing to the CM world they have returned.

Ah reality on this? About 95 out of every 100 people who see your profile don't give a flying fuck if you're back or not. 4 out of the other 5 just think your pictures are hot and they will save them on their computers for future wanking... the 100th DOES care that you're back, but he's the one who wants to lock you in a cage and only pull you out to use you on occasion.

What I mean is you could have stayed away and no one would have cared. So you're back. Great, now go get me a fucking drink.


Picture wanking, can someone please explain to me the idea behind jacking off onto a picture and then taking a picture of that to post on some site? What is the thought process involved in doing this sort of thing? This is one I just don't get so anyone who can tell me, i'd um appreciate it.

Right then, this is going to seem nitpickish (Is nitpickish a word? If not, fuck you is is NOW!) but I was mining for gold a little while ago, (That means browsing profiles to find the lulz) and I saw the profile of a 23 year old lesbian submissive from Kentucky.

Yeah, the woman in these pictures is of course model quality and at least two of the shots are definitely professional because of the background. It's a fake of course but this one gives himself away in a very interesting manner. (Other than the usual model quality photos and the obesssive rambling about "no men", of course.)

The fake lesbian says he is 4'8" (two of the pictures are in a schoolgirl outfit, cute idea that one.) and in one photo this woman is bent at the knees sitting with her ass on the back of what looks to be a standard dining table chair.

I'm sitting here with the wheels turning in my head because this just didn't seem right. 4'8" should be WAY too short to be able to do this. Another photo has this woman standing against a brick wall. So I sought to measure her to see exactly how tall this woman is.

How did I do that you ask? Well, I whipped out my trusty tape measure and simply held it to the screen. No, I looked up what the dimensions are on a brick and discovered a standard american brick is 2 1/4 inches wide.(look it up if you don't believe me, LOL.) assuming this brick wall is made of standard american bricks adding 1/4 inch of mortar on each side of the brick to make them 2 3/4 inches apart..
Ya following me so far? Good... counting the bricks I find that this woman is 24 bricks tall (brick along with the mortar on each side) We come up with 24x2.75=66 or 5'6" tall. As a point of interest, the woman's knees were a little bent in this photo so she may be a little taller than 5'6". Either way, it's a FAR cry from the 4'8" this fake lesbian claims to be.

Hmm, so to that less than energetic baby feline (*coughlazykittencough*) from Muhammad Ali's hometown..(coughagainlouisvillecougcough*) You'reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee BUSTED!
I told you it was nitpickish, didn't I? But it's all for teh lulz.


The day after I posted my last entry I was confronted on CM by a gorean "warrior" and he took it upon himself to take me to task for something I said in my entry. Again the disclaimer that you cannot make this stuff up, but he tells me that Douglas Adams wrote fiction and it is "ludacris" <-- His spelling, not mine... to say I live my life based on his writing.

*Blank Stare*

Oh, he went on to berate me for saying what I did about gor and that I shouldn't speak about things I obviously do not understand.

Now, since I know he's reading my blog, here's my answer to this fine gorean warrior...

Are you really THAT fucking stupid? No, don't answer... But please.. PLEASE never get offline and procreate... mmmkay pal?


Right then, let's talk about the level of bisexualism that is known as "very bi" for a moment. What in the wide world of watersports is VERY BI anyway? I get bicurious.. yes I do, meaning you're staight but you just neverrrrrrrrr know what could happen under the right circumstances..
I also get the idea you're bisexual but you lean one way or the other, cool.

But what the fuck does it mean to be "VERY BI"? Either you go both ways or you do not... There ain't a whole lot of grey area on this one.


There are enough people reading my blog that you don't necessarily have to send ME something stupid for it to end up here. There have been quite a few occasions i've gotten messages from people who point me at a profile to have a look at or tell me of someone who sent them something they thought I might get a laugh out of.

One in particular simply fills me with so much delight to pass along to you all. I got a a message from a submissive woman that told of getting a message from some dom whose message was something along the lines of, "sorry for the late reply but I own two companies and am very busy, needless to say i'm interested in you."

Now, this submissive in her message to me told me she replied that she didn't remember exchanging any messages with this guy. She heard from him again over a week later....

HE SENT HER THE EXACT SAME MESSAGE A SECOND TIME!!

This guy's line of bullshit is to send people a prewritten messsage acting as if you've already been exchanging messages in hopes that person falls for it. That in of itself is funny, but to ME it's even more lulz worthy because this is the very same shitstain whom i've metioned on here as the guy who told me I was reported and that he knew the owner.

Oh hell yes, i'm going to enjoy this. If you'll recall me mentioning that this asshole's profile was this huge whine about fakes and the like? Good, good.

I've got to say it's more than a little ironic that this assclown uses a deceptive line of bullshit when he tries to chat up women with the profile he has.

So to masteronthecoast, your line of bullshit is beyond funny and even sad considering your self righteous profile. You're just plain pathetic.

See? You folks keep sending me those funny happenings and I just may post it on my blog.

A quick nimbus update... The person behind the name has sent me a couple of messages and has even posted a link on his blog to here.

He's had the latest of his names, nimbus7 deleted but in his email he told me people who are linking his blog are also having CM come down on them. Pretty interesting that, but we all know why they do this. CM doesn't allow blacklists, and give a pretty flimsy reason as to why, but whatever.

Anyway his blog can be found at http://collarmebusts.blogspot.com/

That's it for now, but i'll be backkkkkkkkkk.