I'm going to start this one off by talking about something that has nothing to do with CM or BDSM...

The Rock n Roll Hall of Pretentious Critics. AKA, The Rock n Roll Hall of Fame. I think it's a great idea to enshrine some of Rock n Roll's greats in a Hall of Fame. But, I simply cannot take them seriously when they induct someone such as Laura Nyro and the Beastie Boys, and bands like Kiss, Rush, and Jethro Tull are snubbed year after year.

Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with Laura Nyro being enshrined in this hallowed (snicker) institution, and I only laugh a little (OKay, a lot) when I hear the name of the Beastie Boys and Hall of Fame in the same breath. But come on!

Here are the criteria for enshrinement.

"Artists become eligible for induction 25 years after the release of their first record. Criteria include the influence and significance of the artists’ contributions to the development and perpetuation of rock and roll.

The Foundation’s nominating committee, composed of rock and roll historians, selects nominees each year in the Performer category. Ballots are then sent to an international voting body of more than 500 rock experts. Those performers who receive the highest number of votes - and more than 50 percent of the vote - are inducted. The Foundation generally inducts five to seven performers each year."

Like them or not, how can any reasonable person say that a band like Kiss doesn't belong in such a Hall of Fame using that criteria?

Kiss are a prime example of a band making it big without being critically acclaimed. In fact, critics do not like Kiss at all, so they took their case to the ones who REALLY matter, the people.They're the ultimate road warriors.

The one thing Kiss did the critics actually liked was an album no Kiss fan wanted in 1981,(Note to Kiss: We want it NOW.. Play The Fucking Oath for fuck's fake!) and an album the band still distances themselves from.  Especially the sort of critics who get to vote on who gets enshrined. Make no mistake, these are not "rock experts" doing the voting, these are hand picked by Rolling Stone magazine.

Okay, i'm a Kiss fan and I admit this freely, but how about some of these other acts who are not in the hall of fame?

Joan Baez. Joe Cocker. Deep Purple. Devo. The Guess Who. Stevie Ray Vaughn. Joan Jett. Styx. Moody Blues. Warren Zevon. Jethro Tull, and Rush. There are others of course, that's just a small example of the sort of acts excluded while The Beastie Boys are inducted.

Rolling Stone magazine contributor Dave Marsh, who is on the Hall of Fame nominating committee said this once of KISS:

"Kiss is not a great band, Kiss was never a great band, Kiss never will be a great band, and I have done my share to keep them off the ballot."--Dave Marsh, Rolling Stone Magazine."

Kiss are not great musicians, a fact Gene Simmons stated himself way back in the 70's. But not a great band? C'mon man.

My only hope is that when/if they ever do selct Kiss for enshrinement, Kiss will do the right thing and decline the "honor." But knowing Gene Simmons, it will trigger a classic Kiss marketing blitz hyping it to the moon and beyond. And why not? Hype is what their brand of Rock n Roll is all about, no one does it better and they've been doing it 40 years.

Best of all? They deliver on all the hype.

Right then, back to our regularily scheduled bit of satire.


For some reason, the profile of MstressAriel is no longer there. Deleted or just lost? Hmm, Seems strange that the real profile gets deleted and the joke profile remains untouched. At least of this writing, it's still there. The UltimateDomme profile I mean.

Perhaps that will change now that i'm mentioning it. I've honestly not expected the UltimateDomme profile to last as long as it did, that it has while the profile containing my real identity gets deleted is frankly pretty fucking funny.

Now, if UD ever does get deleted from CollarMe, i'll not be waging some sort of campaign to protest or anything like that. In fact if that happens UltimateDomme will simply cease to exist. Really, if a CM Admin had ever messaged and told me to cool it with my blog, I would have.


I got a message from an 18 male dominant from Gillingham,Kent in the UK.. The message itself was nothing more that an offer for a partnership. Well wait, here it is.

"hey there beautiful. fancy a partnership"

The profile is empty with the exception of one photo. Try to imagine the Harry Potter actor in say the 2nd movie in the series, give him blonde hair instead of black and you get this kid.

No no, this kid seriously looks like he is no more than 12 years old. Now you know I just HAD to mention this to him...

"Shouldn't you be out playing football for your Jr. High School?"

Right then, by football I of course mean soccer because really a mousey 12 year old Harry Potter lookalike has no business putting on the pads and playing American Football, but that's off point.

So what IS the point, you ask? The same as it was before, looks may not be everything, but there's no way possible anyone could take someone claiming to be a dominant seriously who looks like his only worry should be whether or not he will pass 7th grade math.


Here's a profile that starts out by uniquely stating right up front that he is married and is only seeking online.. and after the usual nonsense about his wife being vanilla and all that crap he goes on to state that his perfect fit would be someone who is also seeking strictly online. So far so good, yes?

It's a 26 male dominant in Florida and after the above introduction the profile then heads out in another direction.. He speaks a little of his D/s ideas and the like.. and then goes on to list TWENTY-SIX, yes 26 requirements for his "strictly online" slave.

1. Fully Bisexual. 2. Good Appearance. 3. Duties such as cooking and cleaning. 4.Poly. 5.STD Free. 6.Possible for kids later on. 7.He claims the right to dictate tattoos/piercings. 8.Work is undecided. 9.His limits, doesn't care about yours. 10. Pain.. expect it. 11.Limited puclic display. 12.Humiliation, expect it. 13. Dress.. Of course to his specification. 14. Orgasms, don't expect many. 15.Punishment, but of course. 16. Breasts, unless you have DD naturals or implants, you'll be taking breast enlargement pills. 17. Healthcare, he will provide. 18. Slave Hierarchy. 19. If you're a switch you may be permitted to domiante other slaves, but never expect to be dominant over HIM.. oh no no.. 19 again, Hair, on head, yes. all other places, no. 20. Full service. 21. You will practice good hygiene at all times. 22. Safe Sex, bareback always perferred but anyone you fuck will have been tested. 23. Obedience, this should be your only pleasure, obeying. 24. Safe word okay in the beginning, but not later. 25. Recruitment, you will be required at all times to be on the lookout. 26. Your attitude, must be respectful toward him..

Yeah, it was actually 27 since 19 was used twice. Those are just the bullet points, this cat gives an explanation of each one. It's a long profile.

Eh.. errrr.. All of this for a strictly online relationship?

Find this profile and you'll also be treated to a journal entry detailing your first three days with him.... It's written as if this is actually happening in a face to face meeting, and it talks of not being fed and kept in the kennel for 72 hours.. so on and so forth..

One of the funniest profiles i've seen in awhile.


And now a disclaimer. The writer of this blog claims or accepts no responsibility for you spewing liquids out of your nose while reading this blog. This is simply a friendly reminder about drinking diet pepsi (Or anything else) while reading my ramblings... Even if you are the owner of my new favorite profile. 


Heh, one of the three alberta fakes has flown the coop. WendyWendyWendy has moved from Alberta and is now located in Connecticut, USA. Oh dear me. Hmmm, wonder if he moved to be closer to Cory4u who of course relocated his profile to Minnesota? Heh. he put new photos up of a completely different person.


Moving right along... here's a 55 female submissive in Pennsylvania and the profile itself is nothing out of the ordinary, but her latest journal entry is a bit.. errr.. dramatic.

"It recently came to my attention that my password had been STOLEN on another site that i was on a lot by someone I trusted with my life and loved with all my heart!   I will never trust or love again....."

You trusted them with your life and loved with all your heart.... Yet your issue here is your password on another kink site was stolen? Are you sure you don't mean you gave him the password and he did some naughty things with your photos on that other site?

But never trust or love again because your password on a kink site got hijacked by someone? Let's keep it in perspective, miss Drama Queen.


Here's a little something from the Truth in Advertising files.

 This person's name (A financial cunt just to point it out) is DoWhatYourTold24.  Here's the first line of the profile.

"IN NEED OF A ENGLISH HOMEWORK BITCH!"

MmmHmm. Yes, I'd say that is something you're very much in need of finding.


Ah, not too much to say this time around.. I just woke up this morning and decided I wanted to make a new post. Pretty sick that I can just decide that and be able to find the lulz to post that quickly huh?
Right then.. laterz.