So, we all know from experience that too damned many people simply don't read profiles before sending you that message stating they want to A) Become your slave right there on the spot, B) Want you to become their slave right there on the spot, C) Wish you to participate in some elaborate fantasy that you have absolutely no interest in doing, or D) Any number of batshit crazy reasons for messaging you without regard as to what is in your profile.
We all know this, right? I mean fuck, UltimateDomme was created because I wanted to have some laughs at the expense of those sorts.
So tell me, seeing that we all know this.. Why under the realm of the Great Prophet Zarquon are we spending so much space in our profiles and journals complaining about it? You know good and goddamn well you're not going to stop anyone from doing it.... But you sure the fuck can make use of those fucking mail controls CS provides to send all that unwanted shit to the bulk bin..
So stop whining!
Ah just nevermind..
Right then, i'm doing my browsing and the profile of a 30 female slave in Denver, CO comes up.. She wrote the following entry.
"Doms: If your profile reads like an infomercial and makes you sound like Gods gift to women....yeah I will just laugh at it.Not that that is a bad thing....I could use a good laugh these days."
Hmm, a profile that reads like an infomercial.. I wonderrrrrrrrrr.....
(Dramatic blur and fadeout to a new scene... )
The following is a paid advertisement from LordAlphaMasterDom.
"Hey submissive women, are you tired of all those wannabe Doms who say they will train and enslave you but never seem to follow through?
Well look no further for I, LordAlphaMasterDom is just what you need in your life.
I have 27 years of experience and am expert in all facets of the BDSM world. I have traveled all over the world learning the different techniques of all the world class Masters and implementing them into my own realm to have created the training regime that is sure to sweep you off your feet and onto your knees.
As a trainee slave, you will live on my sprawling 186 acre estate where you will be firmly but calmly taught how to kneel in 143 different ways. Yes, each pose means something different and you will learn them all. You will be taught how to use each of your holes to give the ultimate pleasure to your Master, or to whomever your Master directs you to pleasure.
This any many other things you be learn under my firm, guiding hand.
But don't take my word for it, here are some testimonials from past residents of the LordAlphaMasterDom regime....
"Hi, I'm bubbles the big tittied bimbo slave. I was aimless and didn't know where to turn before I discovered LordAlphaMasterDom and his world class training techniques. After serving him on his estate for three years, I can now say I am among the best slaves in the world."
Remember submissives, you will be training under an expert in all facets of BDSM, but you'd better hurry and respond to this profile as I am getting many messages from applicants so don't let this opportunity to learn from the best pass you by. I am standing by waiting to receive your application..
BUT WAIT!!!!
If you act now, I will throw in as an added bonus, a fully realized permanent hot iron branding that will emblozen upon your body the mark of LordAlphaMasterDom so that all will know you as an elite slave.
That's training under the best of the World Class Masters, accomodations on a 186 acre estate, intensive and expert training in all facets of the bdsm world and your very own permanent branding.
Don't wait, respond now while this once in a lifetime offer is still valid."
Now of course there would be several photos of beautiful women in various poses of submission, all looking quite happy and content in their service..
Hmm, Infomercial Doms.. You know, I think the idea could just catch on.
Yeah I think it can.. here's a profile of a 45 Dominant in Bavaria, Germany. Judge for yourself.
""Break on Through to the Other Side"
Me, Sir Q,; experienced and strict, with a fine sense for the limits of his sub / slave, will care about that limits, but might force you to "break on through" - as soon I've found out that this is the best for you (am me - smile!)
Full submission indoor - treated like a lady* in public - as long you don't forget, what you really are for Sir Q.
Or I could you also keep in total slavery, if that is what you are ready for.
As I stand in public, I have to protect myself a little. This is a reason why you don't see a face pic here. You will see me - dear sub or slave - if you might be interested in. Promised!
Slave/Sub with secretary or office skills is very welcome! (not a must)
Some words about my BDSM:
* A master is not a person to please your fetish list, but I listen, what you are into. We should compare.
*I am interested in a sub/slave, who might be interested more aspects of live and not only bdsm play.
* I am not my own slave of "masters-own-fetish-lists" that have to be pleased exactly that way it is listed. How boring ... Live is not like that ... things can be different ... new experience ... What will happen, depends.
* Yes, you have to please me, of course!
* I can be gentle, but I can also be very hard and sadistic - all depends!
* Sure, we should compare, but a real good sub can be trained to be comparable. A serious potential slave should not mind too much about this.
* Be obedient and submissive, .... i will like, if youre also masochistic and if you are submissive without maso - lets talk about then ....!
* you could be taken to live for me and to do and accept what i want - and you will learn soon: It is what you need. And master will be the light in your life you crave for.
*We also can have a short time together, a trainig time or some session, if i am available
I prefer to tell you more about me in a good conversation, profiles often are not understood the way the writer wants to be understood.
So only something very short:
experienced: yes sure, but most here also say so, find out, i f I am (smile)
beginners: also welcome
experienced subs/slaves: as well
relocation of sub/slave: possible
to visit slave first: why not
Prefer: long term, but short term possible as well
Now give up your hindering arrogance that makes you waiting for this "one perfect mail from the prince master". Isnt it an excuse for going on with your brain-cinema you play while you go on lokking, messaging, not doding a decision ... ?
Last not least:
- ... you are Scamists? What is the latest trick to get money from ppl on this site? (hahaha)
- ... you are time wasters or are just curious and telling nonsens? You try to play and tell me, you know about bdsm, but what u tell is so unbelievable, something you never would try in real life. Better for you not to taste it!
- ... youre not interested to give evidences to show up, you are really the person you show in profile and pic, leave out.
Thank you for reading"
All that's missing is the `BUT WAIT!!' part..
I've been having a bit of fun watching what is going on at a certain ski resort, or something like that in Vermont.... It seems this couple have purchased 186 acres of land in the mountains, and have a refurbished 24 room mansion on the premises.. Yay them!!
Ah right, they have also spent the last 12 years (snicker, story of O fantasy coming...) training slaves for other dominants.
Yeah, i've been seeing quite a few profiles of those who have `moved' to this paradise in Vermont.. I've counted ten lesbians now living there.. And I am not even going to mention how many of these profiles look rather similar to each other..
So, 10 lesbians, the wife.. and one guy.. the Lt. Commander.. That lucky sumbitch, eh?
Oh, I won't waste a lot of time on this.. But I *DO* have a bit of a challenge for the residents of this ranch...
How about a photo of all of you together..
Just one..
Apparently good old Brian has listened to my advice, and found a new picture to use. Well, his UltimateDomme123 profile has of course vanished.. But in its place, UltimateDomme100 has arrived to.. You guessed it, find sluts for his stable. It also seems, he's been doing this shit using the name UltimateDomme for a few months, as there are the broken dommes UltimateDomme 55, 34, and 56 that last logged on in April 2015.
No, really I don't care what he does or what name he uses.. But it's funny as hell to get messages from some of the people he's interacted with wondering if I am perhaps the same person.. Of course since he's playing in the Break or Be Broken circuit, those are the sorts of people he interacts with.. Imagine their surprise when they are told who is behind those other profiles?
Yeah Brian.. You can use that hallowed and revered (sometimes reviled) name all you'd like... But when your playmates start messaging me, the bitch is gonna remove your veil. LOL!!
"Try to run... Try to hide.. Break on through to the other side...."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CbiPDSxFgd8
Until next time...
Friday, October 23, 2015
Friday, October 2, 2015
Lulz Crankage..
The wheels of the bus go round and round...
The wheels of the bus go round and round...
The wheels of the bus go round and round...
The wheels of the bus go round and round...
And you're the one under the bus..
Let us examine, if you will, the anatomy of a collarme (Look, i'm old school.. I'll start calling it collarspace eventually... sheesh!)... Err..
Let us examine if you will, the anatomy of a collarspace (Happy now?) profile and how it changes over time...
I am not speaking of the sort of changes that natually occur when someone is exploring and their interests take a slight or radical change of direction. No, I am speaking of the sort of changes that occur as a direct result of getting bombarded by the runaway bus (Yeah, that was why the beginning was as it was.. duh!) of people filling your inbox with all sorts of shit.. most of which you of course have no interest. As an example, the profile I spoke of in the last entry with the guy and his fakefindommespace syndrome.
Let us take for an example a 35 year old single or divorced woman. Over the past few months she has become interested in this thing of ours, and wants to do a bit of safe exploring on a site such as collarspace. Perhaps her interest is as mild as wanting someone to treat her as less than a delicate flower in the bedroom. So, she creates a profile here (At the advice of a friend.. Yeah, you've got to wonder about the `friends' of these people who state in their profile that they had the site recommended to them by said friend)... So scratch that advice of a friend.. Let's say she went to google and typed in BDSM social site.
Ah fuck! I couldn't find any combination of those words to make collarspace come up in the search. Ah, well Fetlife comes up.. So...
Right then, let's say she went to google and typed in BDSM Social Site.. She sees Fetlife and in browsing the site somehow comes across the words `collarspace'.. Back to google.. She types in collarspace.. THERE IT IS!!
So, she goes to collarspace, creates a profile.. writes a brief description of herself and what she is interested in exploring.. Let's say she lives in Kansas, and states in this profile she would prefer someone be in driving distance. She may include a couple of pictures of herself.. She's a typical 35 year old brunette.. a few extra pounds perhaps.. wears glasses.. Err a real girl..
Soon.. (Horror movie music starts playing here... gotta set the mood, yeah?) Some Dom from 1500 miles away who wants to roll her in shit and fuck her while she squeals like a pig, messages her. Her eyes grow wide as she covers her mouth to prevent the liquid she is drinking from spraying all over the monitor.
Being the polite girl she is, she responds and politely declines. Maybe he leaves her alone, maybe he doesn't.. Wait, now there are 6 more messages. One is from a guy in another country who wants to keep her caged when `not in use'. One is actually local, but it's a 24 year old sub trans woman who would like nothing better than to be owned by someone such as herself and right now!
Soon, she doesn't have time to respond to all of these messages, and soon she starts getting followup messages from some of the ones she doesn't have time to respond to. She is told she needs to learn manners.. they suggest methods of training.... etc..
In the space of 2 hours, she now has 14 pages of messages from an assorted bag of whack jobs.. and misses that 38 year old guy who lives about an hour away and is seeking something remarkably similar to what she seeks. Since she missed it, he doesn't waste any further time on her and moves on.
The next day, she logs on to find another 3 or 4 pages of messages from the same sort of people..
Well, something needs to be done... So off to the profile editor.. and soon the brief profile she's written is relegated to the bottom of her profile and is replaced with a list of things she is not interested in exploring. So you pig farmers and harem owners are shit out of luck on this one. Oh, and you 18-21 year old Doms can forget it to, she wants someone close to her age, sorry.
A month later, she's still there.. still logs on every day, and her profile has changed several times.. You wouldn't even recognize it from the profile she wrote a month before.
Poor girl.. and not the least bit out of the ordinary for collarspace, is it?
So, not long after I made my long anticipated return... (Oh the bitch knows you wanted her back, the place has gone to shit while I was gone and you all know it.) err.. not long after I made my long anticipated return to my throne I got a message from someone who suggested something about the duties of the slaves here would include making sure the tire pressure on the mansion tires were at the proper level..
I liked that one, so did a bit of a rewrite on the CS profile. For you fans of Chuck, I wrote him off the page because frankly, I was tired of answering questions about him.
Oh shit... guess who else is back? Don't wanna guess.. i'll tell you.. SlaveTransportCo is back but it seems as if he's changed his story a bit.. Hey, a lot of that going around. He wrote this journal.
"9/25/2015 10:56:54 PM: Those who remember me, remember that I used to be an over the road escort for oversize loads and would often transport slaves here and there as a service. These days, I'm off the road and running a little company. When I worked over the road, I couldn't keep a slave for long term. Now, I can. I would like to find a single female slave or a slave couple. I have managed to combine my work with my lifestyle interests and I can offer a slave or slaves the same. Let me know if you have interest."
So you see, he's now looking for a slave(s) for himself, gave up that other bit..
I gotta tell y'all, i've been getting some really batshit crazy messages from some folks.. Here's one who messaged me to take the piss over the profile pics.. Now when I say take the piss, this person was truly righteously indignant over the fact I am not the hottie in the picture.. Now something about this person's photo was striking me, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it.. I basically kited her (Or not a her..) while I ran the photo through google images... This is a 23 lesbian submissive and here's the exchange....
moremodestmandy on 10/1/15 at 10:08 AM:
Why do you have two different girls on your profile?
UltimateDomme on 10/1/15 at 10:09 AM:
I don't know, why do I?
moremodestmandy on 10/1/15 at 10:11 AM:
Is it because you want people to believe that they are the same girl because they look similar? '
UltimateDomme on 10/1/15 at 10:12 AM:
Hmmm, good answer.. LOL
moremodestmandy on 10/1/15 at 10:13 AM:
It seems as though you might be bored with the game you play pretending to be a woman.
UltimateDomme on 10/1/15 at 10:15 AM:
ZOMG! I must delete the profile right away!!
moremodestmandy on 10/1/15 at 10:20 AM:
It wouldn't matter. You have countless other fake profiles.
UltimateDomme on 10/1/15 at 10:21 AM:
Do I? Do tell, which of these countless other profiles are mine?
moremodestmandy on 10/1/15 at 10:22 AM:
How would I know?
moremodestmandy on 10/1/15 at 10:22 AM:
You've also had this same picture for 5 years.
UltimateDomme on 10/1/15 at 10:24 AM:
I don't know. You seem to think I have these countless other profiles, you should at least know which ones.
Right then.. by this time, I had the results of the photo search and you will not believe what I found... Ah, so maybe it's not a stretch.
UltimateDomme on 10/1/15 at 10:24 AM:
LOL!!!! So tell me, `mandy'.. why is your photo of Angie Verona?
http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/angie-varona-14-year-unwillingly-internet-sex-symbol/story?id=14882768
Pretty slimy to use photos of a girl who is famous for getting her photos hacked when she was 14. You're a low little dude.
There would be no answer to this message.. Doesn't that just take the biscuit? It's funny how the people who get the most pissed off about someone being a fake lesbian most of the time turn out to be a fake lesbian themselves. You know on some level, I kinda get it.. When you find out that hot supermodel you've been tossing off to is in turn tossing off to your supermodel photos, it sorta wrecks the fantasy, doesn't it fellas?
Is it just me, or has the hotness level on the trans folks on CS gone way up? I mean to tell you, some of the ones who have been viewing my profile are pretty fucking adorable. I could really get into strapping in on and listening to the crying..
Ah well, gonna get this shit posted..
I leave you with the immortal words of Malcolm Tucker...
Fuckity bye!
The wheels of the bus go round and round...
The wheels of the bus go round and round...
The wheels of the bus go round and round...
And you're the one under the bus..
Let us examine, if you will, the anatomy of a collarme (Look, i'm old school.. I'll start calling it collarspace eventually... sheesh!)... Err..
Let us examine if you will, the anatomy of a collarspace (Happy now?) profile and how it changes over time...
I am not speaking of the sort of changes that natually occur when someone is exploring and their interests take a slight or radical change of direction. No, I am speaking of the sort of changes that occur as a direct result of getting bombarded by the runaway bus (Yeah, that was why the beginning was as it was.. duh!) of people filling your inbox with all sorts of shit.. most of which you of course have no interest. As an example, the profile I spoke of in the last entry with the guy and his fakefindommespace syndrome.
Let us take for an example a 35 year old single or divorced woman. Over the past few months she has become interested in this thing of ours, and wants to do a bit of safe exploring on a site such as collarspace. Perhaps her interest is as mild as wanting someone to treat her as less than a delicate flower in the bedroom. So, she creates a profile here (At the advice of a friend.. Yeah, you've got to wonder about the `friends' of these people who state in their profile that they had the site recommended to them by said friend)... So scratch that advice of a friend.. Let's say she went to google and typed in BDSM social site.
Ah fuck! I couldn't find any combination of those words to make collarspace come up in the search. Ah, well Fetlife comes up.. So...
Right then, let's say she went to google and typed in BDSM Social Site.. She sees Fetlife and in browsing the site somehow comes across the words `collarspace'.. Back to google.. She types in collarspace.. THERE IT IS!!
So, she goes to collarspace, creates a profile.. writes a brief description of herself and what she is interested in exploring.. Let's say she lives in Kansas, and states in this profile she would prefer someone be in driving distance. She may include a couple of pictures of herself.. She's a typical 35 year old brunette.. a few extra pounds perhaps.. wears glasses.. Err a real girl..
Soon.. (Horror movie music starts playing here... gotta set the mood, yeah?) Some Dom from 1500 miles away who wants to roll her in shit and fuck her while she squeals like a pig, messages her. Her eyes grow wide as she covers her mouth to prevent the liquid she is drinking from spraying all over the monitor.
Being the polite girl she is, she responds and politely declines. Maybe he leaves her alone, maybe he doesn't.. Wait, now there are 6 more messages. One is from a guy in another country who wants to keep her caged when `not in use'. One is actually local, but it's a 24 year old sub trans woman who would like nothing better than to be owned by someone such as herself and right now!
Soon, she doesn't have time to respond to all of these messages, and soon she starts getting followup messages from some of the ones she doesn't have time to respond to. She is told she needs to learn manners.. they suggest methods of training.... etc..
In the space of 2 hours, she now has 14 pages of messages from an assorted bag of whack jobs.. and misses that 38 year old guy who lives about an hour away and is seeking something remarkably similar to what she seeks. Since she missed it, he doesn't waste any further time on her and moves on.
The next day, she logs on to find another 3 or 4 pages of messages from the same sort of people..
Well, something needs to be done... So off to the profile editor.. and soon the brief profile she's written is relegated to the bottom of her profile and is replaced with a list of things she is not interested in exploring. So you pig farmers and harem owners are shit out of luck on this one. Oh, and you 18-21 year old Doms can forget it to, she wants someone close to her age, sorry.
A month later, she's still there.. still logs on every day, and her profile has changed several times.. You wouldn't even recognize it from the profile she wrote a month before.
Poor girl.. and not the least bit out of the ordinary for collarspace, is it?
So, not long after I made my long anticipated return... (Oh the bitch knows you wanted her back, the place has gone to shit while I was gone and you all know it.) err.. not long after I made my long anticipated return to my throne I got a message from someone who suggested something about the duties of the slaves here would include making sure the tire pressure on the mansion tires were at the proper level..
I liked that one, so did a bit of a rewrite on the CS profile. For you fans of Chuck, I wrote him off the page because frankly, I was tired of answering questions about him.
Oh shit... guess who else is back? Don't wanna guess.. i'll tell you.. SlaveTransportCo is back but it seems as if he's changed his story a bit.. Hey, a lot of that going around. He wrote this journal.
"9/25/2015 10:56:54 PM: Those who remember me, remember that I used to be an over the road escort for oversize loads and would often transport slaves here and there as a service. These days, I'm off the road and running a little company. When I worked over the road, I couldn't keep a slave for long term. Now, I can. I would like to find a single female slave or a slave couple. I have managed to combine my work with my lifestyle interests and I can offer a slave or slaves the same. Let me know if you have interest."
So you see, he's now looking for a slave(s) for himself, gave up that other bit..
I gotta tell y'all, i've been getting some really batshit crazy messages from some folks.. Here's one who messaged me to take the piss over the profile pics.. Now when I say take the piss, this person was truly righteously indignant over the fact I am not the hottie in the picture.. Now something about this person's photo was striking me, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it.. I basically kited her (Or not a her..) while I ran the photo through google images... This is a 23 lesbian submissive and here's the exchange....
moremodestmandy on 10/1/15 at 10:08 AM:
Why do you have two different girls on your profile?
UltimateDomme on 10/1/15 at 10:09 AM:
I don't know, why do I?
moremodestmandy on 10/1/15 at 10:11 AM:
Is it because you want people to believe that they are the same girl because they look similar? '
UltimateDomme on 10/1/15 at 10:12 AM:
Hmmm, good answer.. LOL
moremodestmandy on 10/1/15 at 10:13 AM:
It seems as though you might be bored with the game you play pretending to be a woman.
UltimateDomme on 10/1/15 at 10:15 AM:
ZOMG! I must delete the profile right away!!
moremodestmandy on 10/1/15 at 10:20 AM:
It wouldn't matter. You have countless other fake profiles.
UltimateDomme on 10/1/15 at 10:21 AM:
Do I? Do tell, which of these countless other profiles are mine?
moremodestmandy on 10/1/15 at 10:22 AM:
How would I know?
moremodestmandy on 10/1/15 at 10:22 AM:
You've also had this same picture for 5 years.
UltimateDomme on 10/1/15 at 10:24 AM:
I don't know. You seem to think I have these countless other profiles, you should at least know which ones.
Right then.. by this time, I had the results of the photo search and you will not believe what I found... Ah, so maybe it's not a stretch.
UltimateDomme on 10/1/15 at 10:24 AM:
LOL!!!! So tell me, `mandy'.. why is your photo of Angie Verona?
http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/angie-varona-14-year-unwillingly-internet-sex-symbol/story?id=14882768
Pretty slimy to use photos of a girl who is famous for getting her photos hacked when she was 14. You're a low little dude.
There would be no answer to this message.. Doesn't that just take the biscuit? It's funny how the people who get the most pissed off about someone being a fake lesbian most of the time turn out to be a fake lesbian themselves. You know on some level, I kinda get it.. When you find out that hot supermodel you've been tossing off to is in turn tossing off to your supermodel photos, it sorta wrecks the fantasy, doesn't it fellas?
Is it just me, or has the hotness level on the trans folks on CS gone way up? I mean to tell you, some of the ones who have been viewing my profile are pretty fucking adorable. I could really get into strapping in on and listening to the crying..
Ah well, gonna get this shit posted..
I leave you with the immortal words of Malcolm Tucker...
Fuckity bye!
Saturday, September 26, 2015
I HAVE RETURNED!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=upR7GQ5ToCs
Yeah I know right? It's been two years and I am sure you are all wondering where I've been and what I have been up to, yes? RIGHT? Right.
Well, Me and a couple of friends chartered a plane and flew off to all those countries where all those supermodel slaves live, on a quest to bring them all back to America and install then in my mansion.. And well you know, I've been busy with them...
Oh why the fuck do you care where I've been anyway?
Actually I've been here the entire time, but hidden you see.. Ah, not exactly hidden as such, more like I was on the naughty hidden profile list. Took them long enough to get around to me, eh? But yeah, hidden.
So, they left the UltimateDomme profile there, and for a 2nd time, deleted the profile containing my real identity, CurvyandMean. You know if I were paranoid I would start to wonder about what the powers that be over there at collarme.. errr sorry, it's collarspace now (Yeah, fuck you if you think I am changing the name of this blog.) are thinking a lot of the time.
So yeah, I've been there all along, logging in periodically just to see if I could find anything funny or interesting. And one day out of the blue I start getting profile looks and messages. So, i'm back.. Yay me!
As far as the finding anything funny or interesting bit.. The names seem to have changed but the song remains the same.
My old friend Brian is still about doing the same shit he was a couple of years ago.. Starting a female profile (Always uses the same picture too.. no imagination on this cat.).. starts off as Dominant with the stated goal of building a stable of sluts to control.. then a few days later some other guy playing Domme will have `broken' him.. If you read this blog from way back when, he was the one who was `Gabby' during that whole MsStrict77 saga..
Now he DID add a twist to his routine this time.. Yeah, this time the little shit used the name `UltimateDomme123' Now of course, I messaged him to take the piss.. Even had to laugh at him using the name I have spent all this time trashing... He's already deleted the profile, err usually he does that after he gets caught being a guy... He'll be back though.. he alllllways comes back.
The former Domme26 (You remember him don't you? The one with the grammar that made your eyes bleed?) Is also still about doing the same shit as before, but is now
Richdomme99.
Right then.. Let's go to the profiles and see what sort of nonsense we can find to laugh at.
This is from a 55 female submissive in Ft. Lauderdale, FL. and here's the first paragraph of the profile.
"I used to be on here a year ago but got taken advantage of and somebody told my husband. Not like we had a great relationship but it caused a lot of problems for a while.
We are still married but I know he looks for me on here. I am really in West Tennessee, I say otherwise so he can't find me again."
Now, I would just like to point out that this person has included a couple of photos.. the main profile is a woman standing there completely naked, and undisguised. The 2nd photo is of this woman with a man.. the hubby mayhap?
Tell me if you will.. Just exactly how difficult did you make it for the hubby to find you on here again? Come on now, think!
Here's a 22 female submissive in Chicago, IL. The profile is nothing really special, it's the typical `I want to serve and have multiple orgasms' sort of profiles...
But umm.. the pictures.. errr.. ummm.. the pictures are at LEAST 30 years old. No, i'm not kidding.. One of them is an actual polaroid.. You know the ones with the large white borders? One of the pictures has in the background a television with two knobs.. for channel switching and fine tuning the signal.. From the days of yore when you had your choice of three channels to watch.
Not to mention.. These photos are from a time before it became chic to keep the bush trimmed..
You just gotta wonder.. did someone sneak into the attic and find their grandfather's shoebox full of porn?
Hmm, and just coming across my radar is a 23 female submissive in Chicago, same sort of name and profile, with photos of a different girl.. Hehe
The next one.. This profile I gotta quote the whole thing for you..
It's a 25 female slave in Detroit, MI... And awayyyyyyy we go.
"READ THIS PROFILE CAREFUL!!
At first i am the gf of the girl you talk to here. Make sure you understand the following. When you write a message, she will get this message. But beware, she is stupid, and
i mean serious stupid and extreme naive.
She has no computer knowledge, so do not expect she will give you any intelligent answer.
She has no access to the profile area or knows about her pics or can see them.
How? i blocked that specific websites.
Do not talk about the profile or the pics to her. She also thinks that this website is a talk website, she has absolute no idea about the lifestyle or BDSM.
She is just a rich stupid blonde. seriously.
Well, why do i do this profile for her? Lets say i have a nasty sadistic streak. I will observe who talks to her and what will be talked. If i think you are the wrong one, i
will block you without any warning.
Messages like " i want to talk with that stupid girl" will be blocked, because in this case you are the stupid one to send such a message to her.
Yes, she is really that girl in the pics. If you dont believe, i dont care.
I want that only people contact her who are able to abuse her naivety to the worse. She just moved
in an area where this will very good possible, as long you are clever and smart. With stupid and primitive talking you will get no result.
You will not meet her, i will take care that this will not happen. This is more a mindgame for the right mind. A mindgame with real results.
The chat will not work for her, you will have to use this message
system of CS."
*clicks tongue*
Right then, what need be said here?
Actually i'm trying to figure out how this rich, stupid blonde will even see the messages seeing that the author of the profile has blocked them. I wouldn't bother with this one, folks.. the picture? Yeah.. all over the net.
Can it REALLY be this easy? Here's an exchange I had in the past couple of days..
This is a 51 male sub in Georgia..
lockedforyoult on 9/22/15 at 7:23 PM:
nice story. is it true? keep me in a chastity cage?
UltimateDomme on 9/22/15 at 7:24 PM:
Errrr... yeah it's 100% totally true
lockedforyoult on 9/22/15 at 7:26 PM:
lock me in chastity?
UltimateDomme on 9/22/15 at 7:26 PM:
Ummm.. sure.. put on a cage and never ever orgasm again..
Bye :-)
lockedforyoult on 9/22/15 at 7:27 PM:
ok. Where do I send the key?
UltimateDomme on 9/22/15 at 7:28 PM:
flush it down the commode..
lockedforyoult on 9/22/15 at 7:28 PM:
yes ma'am... i will do that
UltimateDomme on 9/22/15 at 7:29 PM:
LOL>. okay
lockedforyoult on 9/22/15 at 7:30 PM:
no... seriously... for you. i will
Err.. Yeah.
Here's one I found cute.. it's a 40 male submissive in Merito, Tx.. His profile starts..
"I am experiencing fakefindomspace fatigue, so I thought I would outline my preferences in order to lessen the possibilities of any confusion...."
From there, it goes on to list in detail the things that if they are in your profile.. he ain't interested. Have a read, it's not bad at all.. Fakefinsdommespace Syndrome.. I love it!!
Eh.. So this post isn't all that funny.. But wanted to get a new post done anyway.. If I find some good shit to post.. I will.. Until then. L8r peepz.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=upR7GQ5ToCs
Yeah I know right? It's been two years and I am sure you are all wondering where I've been and what I have been up to, yes? RIGHT? Right.
Well, Me and a couple of friends chartered a plane and flew off to all those countries where all those supermodel slaves live, on a quest to bring them all back to America and install then in my mansion.. And well you know, I've been busy with them...
Oh why the fuck do you care where I've been anyway?
Actually I've been here the entire time, but hidden you see.. Ah, not exactly hidden as such, more like I was on the naughty hidden profile list. Took them long enough to get around to me, eh? But yeah, hidden.
So, they left the UltimateDomme profile there, and for a 2nd time, deleted the profile containing my real identity, CurvyandMean. You know if I were paranoid I would start to wonder about what the powers that be over there at collarme.. errr sorry, it's collarspace now (Yeah, fuck you if you think I am changing the name of this blog.) are thinking a lot of the time.
So yeah, I've been there all along, logging in periodically just to see if I could find anything funny or interesting. And one day out of the blue I start getting profile looks and messages. So, i'm back.. Yay me!
As far as the finding anything funny or interesting bit.. The names seem to have changed but the song remains the same.
My old friend Brian is still about doing the same shit he was a couple of years ago.. Starting a female profile (Always uses the same picture too.. no imagination on this cat.).. starts off as Dominant with the stated goal of building a stable of sluts to control.. then a few days later some other guy playing Domme will have `broken' him.. If you read this blog from way back when, he was the one who was `Gabby' during that whole MsStrict77 saga..
Now he DID add a twist to his routine this time.. Yeah, this time the little shit used the name `UltimateDomme123' Now of course, I messaged him to take the piss.. Even had to laugh at him using the name I have spent all this time trashing... He's already deleted the profile, err usually he does that after he gets caught being a guy... He'll be back though.. he alllllways comes back.
The former Domme26 (You remember him don't you? The one with the grammar that made your eyes bleed?) Is also still about doing the same shit as before, but is now
Richdomme99.
Right then.. Let's go to the profiles and see what sort of nonsense we can find to laugh at.
This is from a 55 female submissive in Ft. Lauderdale, FL. and here's the first paragraph of the profile.
"I used to be on here a year ago but got taken advantage of and somebody told my husband. Not like we had a great relationship but it caused a lot of problems for a while.
We are still married but I know he looks for me on here. I am really in West Tennessee, I say otherwise so he can't find me again."
Now, I would just like to point out that this person has included a couple of photos.. the main profile is a woman standing there completely naked, and undisguised. The 2nd photo is of this woman with a man.. the hubby mayhap?
Tell me if you will.. Just exactly how difficult did you make it for the hubby to find you on here again? Come on now, think!
Here's a 22 female submissive in Chicago, IL. The profile is nothing really special, it's the typical `I want to serve and have multiple orgasms' sort of profiles...
But umm.. the pictures.. errr.. ummm.. the pictures are at LEAST 30 years old. No, i'm not kidding.. One of them is an actual polaroid.. You know the ones with the large white borders? One of the pictures has in the background a television with two knobs.. for channel switching and fine tuning the signal.. From the days of yore when you had your choice of three channels to watch.
Not to mention.. These photos are from a time before it became chic to keep the bush trimmed..
You just gotta wonder.. did someone sneak into the attic and find their grandfather's shoebox full of porn?
Hmm, and just coming across my radar is a 23 female submissive in Chicago, same sort of name and profile, with photos of a different girl.. Hehe
The next one.. This profile I gotta quote the whole thing for you..
It's a 25 female slave in Detroit, MI... And awayyyyyyy we go.
"READ THIS PROFILE CAREFUL!!
At first i am the gf of the girl you talk to here. Make sure you understand the following. When you write a message, she will get this message. But beware, she is stupid, and
i mean serious stupid and extreme naive.
She has no computer knowledge, so do not expect she will give you any intelligent answer.
She has no access to the profile area or knows about her pics or can see them.
How? i blocked that specific websites.
Do not talk about the profile or the pics to her. She also thinks that this website is a talk website, she has absolute no idea about the lifestyle or BDSM.
She is just a rich stupid blonde. seriously.
Well, why do i do this profile for her? Lets say i have a nasty sadistic streak. I will observe who talks to her and what will be talked. If i think you are the wrong one, i
will block you without any warning.
Messages like " i want to talk with that stupid girl" will be blocked, because in this case you are the stupid one to send such a message to her.
Yes, she is really that girl in the pics. If you dont believe, i dont care.
I want that only people contact her who are able to abuse her naivety to the worse. She just moved
in an area where this will very good possible, as long you are clever and smart. With stupid and primitive talking you will get no result.
You will not meet her, i will take care that this will not happen. This is more a mindgame for the right mind. A mindgame with real results.
The chat will not work for her, you will have to use this message
system of CS."
*clicks tongue*
Right then, what need be said here?
Actually i'm trying to figure out how this rich, stupid blonde will even see the messages seeing that the author of the profile has blocked them. I wouldn't bother with this one, folks.. the picture? Yeah.. all over the net.
Can it REALLY be this easy? Here's an exchange I had in the past couple of days..
This is a 51 male sub in Georgia..
lockedforyoult on 9/22/15 at 7:23 PM:
nice story. is it true? keep me in a chastity cage?
UltimateDomme on 9/22/15 at 7:24 PM:
Errrr... yeah it's 100% totally true
lockedforyoult on 9/22/15 at 7:26 PM:
lock me in chastity?
UltimateDomme on 9/22/15 at 7:26 PM:
Ummm.. sure.. put on a cage and never ever orgasm again..
Bye :-)
lockedforyoult on 9/22/15 at 7:27 PM:
ok. Where do I send the key?
UltimateDomme on 9/22/15 at 7:28 PM:
flush it down the commode..
lockedforyoult on 9/22/15 at 7:28 PM:
yes ma'am... i will do that
UltimateDomme on 9/22/15 at 7:29 PM:
LOL>. okay
lockedforyoult on 9/22/15 at 7:30 PM:
no... seriously... for you. i will
Err.. Yeah.
Here's one I found cute.. it's a 40 male submissive in Merito, Tx.. His profile starts..
"I am experiencing fakefindomspace fatigue, so I thought I would outline my preferences in order to lessen the possibilities of any confusion...."
From there, it goes on to list in detail the things that if they are in your profile.. he ain't interested. Have a read, it's not bad at all.. Fakefinsdommespace Syndrome.. I love it!!
Eh.. So this post isn't all that funny.. But wanted to get a new post done anyway.. If I find some good shit to post.. I will.. Until then. L8r peepz.
Sunday, August 25, 2013
Oh my goodness gracious, I've had no less than three different dommes message me to speak about the last entry. Apparently all of them of the `fix my roof and we'll call that `service'' type. All of them had some not very nice things to say to me, all of them with hidden profiles, and all of them thought it best to block me from any reply. (I laugh pretty loudly when anything that goes against someone's views is considered `not the true lifestyle'.)
That's really kind of silly when you think about it, as the reason they (Well, i'm not at all sure it wasn't the same person with different names seeing as all of this happened on the same day withing about an hour.) were messaging me to read me the riot act was because of what they read on this blog. Umm, blocking me from replying to your message really only increases the chance what I have to say in reply will end up here... I mean really, if you've read this blog you should know this.
Now, to be specific... I mentioned that sort of domme one example of the sort of dommes submissive men must wade through.. But let me be a little MORE specific about what I mean about that sort. They expect in the name of `service,' to have submssives perform labor for them. Things that would cost quite a bit of coin to have to pay for... in the name of service without any regard whatsoever for the submissive's own desires or fetishes... The reasoning there is if they are trullllllllllly submissive and wish to serve, it shouldn't matter right? (Heh, now I know you fellows know exactly what happens when YOU try to pull that shit on a submissive woman, yes yes?)
Yeah, so tell me this... How does that make that sort of `domme' any different from the financial cunts whose idea of `service' involves gift cards and wish lists.... Making it clear the submissive can (or should) expect nothing in return for the payment?
Yes, yes, that's TRUE service and those who don't understand that don't understand the "lifestyle."
Mmkay folks, now I have a question for all of you. Feel free to post your answers to this question here as a comment, or in a message to me at Collarme. First, let me show you this excerpt from the profile of a 21 lesbian submissive in Kansas.
"- Under the protection of XxxXxxxx. If you insist on being an ass, expect a message from him regarding your behavior -"
Right then, if you were to take the time to look up the person who has that girl under protection, you will find this is a 34 male dominant in Cornwall, United Kingdom. at the bottom of his profile you will find this...
"On a side note? 'XxxxXxxxXxxxx' is under my protection. She is a very special someone and my life is a better place for having her in it. Do not mess with her unless you want to hear from the not so easy-going side of me. Trust me, you don't, so let's just avoid that. Show her some respect. She is lovely, and she deserves it."
Got it... Got it... One is in Kansas and the other is located about 4,000 miles away in the UK. My question is, what in the blue monkey hell can this clown be protecting her from and HOW can he protect her other than sending a strongly worded message and being an Internet tough guy?
There was something else a few months ago that struck me as totally stupid.
It was a submissive woman in Florida and her dominant man in Holland or Denmark. He was messaging people he thought were close to her, trying to hook her up with people so that she could get some experience... Under his supervision of course.
Welllllll... This cat messaged me wondering if I were close enough to this woman and I had a couple of questions for him. One, I wanted to know why HE wasn't giving her this experience he felt she needed.
His answer was that even though they had a very close relationship it just wasn't possible for them to meet in real life. *smirk*
So... How exactly was he planning to `supervise' this, and how does he get the idea that he had any business trying to handle the affairs of someone he already knows he has absoutely no chance to meet in person and is so far away there is no possible way to step in if needed?
I asked those things and wouldn't you know it, he could give no real answer to those questions other than it just `feels right.' I know, doesn't that just take the biscuit?
Okay, I get that many people do this D/s stuff strictly online and that's cool with me. But the above is one of things that just strike me as stupid, not to mention irresponibile of the guy in Holland. I'd also wonder about the woman in Florida who was apparently okay with someone that far away selecting people for her to see in real life...Not to mention how it gives creedence to the idea of being involved with D/s and having your common sense magically disappear.
I said it was a few months ago, this particular arrangement no longer exists.
Fuck, I completely got sidetracked and forgot to ask the question. Actually, I forgot the question.. Carry on..
Along the same theme of things in people's profile that make you go, "hmm..."
This is a 55 male dominant in Reno, Nevada who posted as a journal something called the `Female Slave Manifesto.' Now it's written as from the viewpoint of a female slave, but it is clearly written by an internet dom.
Oh, how do I know it was clearly written by an internet Dom? Easily, just put that phrase into Google and the first entry will lead you to the post in the usenet newsgroup alt.sadistic in November of 1998, and it begins with this..
"These are the words that please the extreme sadist.
I have created them from a composite of several slaves who
served me to the utmost."
So yeah, an online dom wrote it..Read it and tell me how many women you know who are actually like this...
Nevermind that.. here's the part of his profile that makes me go, "huh?"
"I am in great shape, high stamina (fucking 2-3 times DAILY), seek daily use off an on as we deal with the real world in between. My slave would not have to work outside the home but stay in the home naked, collared and used DAILY. I never want things to become stagnant."
Of course, of course he's got his ideal in mind as does everyone.. But tell me, if you are in fact fucking 2-3 times a day already... (fucking, not tossing off to porn or any such shit like that..).... If you are in fact doing all this fucking on a daily basis, and working full time seeing as how your doormat won't have to work, how do you even have time to be online as often as you are looking for someone who embodies that Female Slave's Manifesto? Oh the Bitch knows you're online a lot. Everytime I logon guess whose name always right at the top? Also, when you find this doormat to keep around naked and collared, will this increase your fucking output or will whomever you're fucking 2 and 3 times a day now be getting a break when the fucking duties are split between them and the doormat?
Look, this is important shit to know!
Here's someone who messaged me to tell me that I was player and then promptly blocked me... I love the homophobic profile of this 67 dominant in Hamilton Ontario, Canada..
"Xxx
Xxxxx
Xxx
SIRRR
Is not interested in bi or gay males period.
NOT into CDs....NOT. Why can't males read english? I am NOT, NOT, NOT bi.
you can also find Me at XxxXxxxXxxxxxx.
BDSM is not just about sex, that is a very small part of it.. We are open to most and love to entertain....smiles.."
The part about not being into CD's is written in very LARGE type.. He wouldn't want you missing it ya see.
Well tell me, if the sex aspect is `very small' part of BDSM, why does it matter if it's a CD? No really, I keep hearing how BDSM isn't about sex from many people.. If that's the case what does straight, bi, or gay have to do with it?
C'mon gomer, just admit it IS about sex.. as it is for MANY people into BDSM.
Here's one that is actually rather cute in a somewhat fucked up way. We know about the famous BillInBoston (New name is BillInNH) who was and is behind some screennames such as SandraFrasier, LisaMarieRI, SandraGilbert, KarenBlack, Sandra68, Sandra688... amongst others.
He's using a new name lately called Karenonmyown and this one has a male sub and a picture of this sub wearing panties, holding a sign that says, "This cock belongs to Mistress Karen."
I'm sure the irony is unintentional on his part, but the statement is more true than meets the eye. Why? Because the photo is of none other than BillInBoston (BillinNH) himself. Heh, he belongs to himself.. I love it.
Rock on Bill!
Okay, one more and i'll stop for now... This is a 19 female switch in Utah, and the relevant part of her profile is the first line...
"*****Under Possible Consideration*****"
Mmkay, is this a brand new designation within the realm of D/s relationships? Someone is considering whether or not to consider her is what it sounds like to me. What I'm wondering here is whether the vanilla designation of this is `engaged to be engaged?'
No wait!!!... ONE more.. and I have a funny feeling this one is going to be like peeling an onion or some shit like that. But while browsing I came across this profile from someone called YurixX, a 23 female dominant in Durham, North Carolina.... Here's the profile..
"YurixK is a fake. My and her pics are from a girl I tricked on okcupid. Don't trust anyone with this girls pics. I have more of her that they don't have. Not wanting any thing but for them to be exposed thank you."
And then there's a journal on 8-22-2013...
"YurixK started as a profile to make me admit I am not real and is now a profile trying to use the pics I had to be a profile. Flag him without mercy"
Right then.. I looked for the profile of YurixK and find it's a 23 female dominant in Durham, North Carolina. Same person in the photos, and here's this one's profile..
"After careful consideration, I have decided to take missrachel1 as my new pet. She's rather a huge slut and can't get enough so all of you please feel free to use her with my blessing. Just remember to tell her that her Mistress YuriX sent you."
Still with me? So this YurixK person created a profile to make that YurixX person admit he was a fake, and is now trying to be a normal profile.. So let's peel some more of this onion and see what we can find.. Let's look at this missrachel1 that is mentioned on K's profile...
Missrachel1 is an 18 female dominant in the UK, and there's no written profile.. but there are several journals, here's the latest one on 7-19-2013.
"YurixX is threatening me she says i sent her pic which i didnt if she found pic of me i dont know how she got them and will upload them if i dont take down her pics but i do have one more that she sent that i haven't put up until now."
Right...Right.. This is starting to get weird.. this journal entry is speaking of X.. but K has photos in their profile of the same person in missrachel's profile.. So let's go to the scorecards..
X was messing around with this missrachel1 person... (I'm going to assume they were playing that favorite game of fake lesbians, break or be broken. seeing how X's profile photo shows that person with `slave' written on her arm...)And now K, who according to X was created to make X admit they were a fake... has apparently gone after missrachel1.. Of course if one were to (And I did, by the way) do a photo search on this missrachel1's photos, one would find missrachel1 is in fact a fake.
Mmkay.. back to the scorecard and let's see if we now have the whole picture.
YurixX tricked some girl on OKCupid into sending some photos, which they in turn used to create a profile on CM.. Played around with this missrachel1 person, ended up threatening missrachel1 with photos. Enter YurixK who creates a profile designed to catch YurixX being a fake...Then continues on with photos of missrachel1 in THAT profile and a profile that says they've taken missrachel1 as a pet.
Let's bring this full circle.. I messaged this K person and asked about YurixX's claims... You folks hold on tight.. Y'all are gonna love the reply I got.. Ready?
"From:
YurixK
Dated:
8/24/13 2:37 PM
what he says is true. what he doesn't say is i am the one from okcupid he tricked into sending pics."
Folks, just let it sink in slowly.. I suspect it's all a load of bullshit, but that was fucking FUNNY!
And on that note.. L8r peepz
That's really kind of silly when you think about it, as the reason they (Well, i'm not at all sure it wasn't the same person with different names seeing as all of this happened on the same day withing about an hour.) were messaging me to read me the riot act was because of what they read on this blog. Umm, blocking me from replying to your message really only increases the chance what I have to say in reply will end up here... I mean really, if you've read this blog you should know this.
Now, to be specific... I mentioned that sort of domme one example of the sort of dommes submissive men must wade through.. But let me be a little MORE specific about what I mean about that sort. They expect in the name of `service,' to have submssives perform labor for them. Things that would cost quite a bit of coin to have to pay for... in the name of service without any regard whatsoever for the submissive's own desires or fetishes... The reasoning there is if they are trullllllllllly submissive and wish to serve, it shouldn't matter right? (Heh, now I know you fellows know exactly what happens when YOU try to pull that shit on a submissive woman, yes yes?)
Yeah, so tell me this... How does that make that sort of `domme' any different from the financial cunts whose idea of `service' involves gift cards and wish lists.... Making it clear the submissive can (or should) expect nothing in return for the payment?
Yes, yes, that's TRUE service and those who don't understand that don't understand the "lifestyle."
Mmkay folks, now I have a question for all of you. Feel free to post your answers to this question here as a comment, or in a message to me at Collarme. First, let me show you this excerpt from the profile of a 21 lesbian submissive in Kansas.
"- Under the protection of XxxXxxxx. If you insist on being an ass, expect a message from him regarding your behavior -"
Right then, if you were to take the time to look up the person who has that girl under protection, you will find this is a 34 male dominant in Cornwall, United Kingdom. at the bottom of his profile you will find this...
"On a side note? 'XxxxXxxxXxxxx' is under my protection. She is a very special someone and my life is a better place for having her in it. Do not mess with her unless you want to hear from the not so easy-going side of me. Trust me, you don't, so let's just avoid that. Show her some respect. She is lovely, and she deserves it."
Got it... Got it... One is in Kansas and the other is located about 4,000 miles away in the UK. My question is, what in the blue monkey hell can this clown be protecting her from and HOW can he protect her other than sending a strongly worded message and being an Internet tough guy?
There was something else a few months ago that struck me as totally stupid.
It was a submissive woman in Florida and her dominant man in Holland or Denmark. He was messaging people he thought were close to her, trying to hook her up with people so that she could get some experience... Under his supervision of course.
Welllllll... This cat messaged me wondering if I were close enough to this woman and I had a couple of questions for him. One, I wanted to know why HE wasn't giving her this experience he felt she needed.
His answer was that even though they had a very close relationship it just wasn't possible for them to meet in real life. *smirk*
So... How exactly was he planning to `supervise' this, and how does he get the idea that he had any business trying to handle the affairs of someone he already knows he has absoutely no chance to meet in person and is so far away there is no possible way to step in if needed?
I asked those things and wouldn't you know it, he could give no real answer to those questions other than it just `feels right.' I know, doesn't that just take the biscuit?
Okay, I get that many people do this D/s stuff strictly online and that's cool with me. But the above is one of things that just strike me as stupid, not to mention irresponibile of the guy in Holland. I'd also wonder about the woman in Florida who was apparently okay with someone that far away selecting people for her to see in real life...Not to mention how it gives creedence to the idea of being involved with D/s and having your common sense magically disappear.
I said it was a few months ago, this particular arrangement no longer exists.
Fuck, I completely got sidetracked and forgot to ask the question. Actually, I forgot the question.. Carry on..
Along the same theme of things in people's profile that make you go, "hmm..."
This is a 55 male dominant in Reno, Nevada who posted as a journal something called the `Female Slave Manifesto.' Now it's written as from the viewpoint of a female slave, but it is clearly written by an internet dom.
Oh, how do I know it was clearly written by an internet Dom? Easily, just put that phrase into Google and the first entry will lead you to the post in the usenet newsgroup alt.sadistic in November of 1998, and it begins with this..
"These are the words that please the extreme sadist.
I have created them from a composite of several slaves who
served me to the utmost."
So yeah, an online dom wrote it..Read it and tell me how many women you know who are actually like this...
Nevermind that.. here's the part of his profile that makes me go, "huh?"
"I am in great shape, high stamina (fucking 2-3 times DAILY), seek daily use off an on as we deal with the real world in between. My slave would not have to work outside the home but stay in the home naked, collared and used DAILY. I never want things to become stagnant."
Of course, of course he's got his ideal in mind as does everyone.. But tell me, if you are in fact fucking 2-3 times a day already... (fucking, not tossing off to porn or any such shit like that..).... If you are in fact doing all this fucking on a daily basis, and working full time seeing as how your doormat won't have to work, how do you even have time to be online as often as you are looking for someone who embodies that Female Slave's Manifesto? Oh the Bitch knows you're online a lot. Everytime I logon guess whose name always right at the top? Also, when you find this doormat to keep around naked and collared, will this increase your fucking output or will whomever you're fucking 2 and 3 times a day now be getting a break when the fucking duties are split between them and the doormat?
Look, this is important shit to know!
Here's someone who messaged me to tell me that I was player and then promptly blocked me... I love the homophobic profile of this 67 dominant in Hamilton Ontario, Canada..
"Xxx
Xxxxx
Xxx
SIRRR
Is not interested in bi or gay males period.
NOT into CDs....NOT. Why can't males read english? I am NOT, NOT, NOT bi.
you can also find Me at XxxXxxxXxxxxxx.
BDSM is not just about sex, that is a very small part of it.. We are open to most and love to entertain....smiles.."
The part about not being into CD's is written in very LARGE type.. He wouldn't want you missing it ya see.
Well tell me, if the sex aspect is `very small' part of BDSM, why does it matter if it's a CD? No really, I keep hearing how BDSM isn't about sex from many people.. If that's the case what does straight, bi, or gay have to do with it?
C'mon gomer, just admit it IS about sex.. as it is for MANY people into BDSM.
Here's one that is actually rather cute in a somewhat fucked up way. We know about the famous BillInBoston (New name is BillInNH) who was and is behind some screennames such as SandraFrasier, LisaMarieRI, SandraGilbert, KarenBlack, Sandra68, Sandra688... amongst others.
He's using a new name lately called Karenonmyown and this one has a male sub and a picture of this sub wearing panties, holding a sign that says, "This cock belongs to Mistress Karen."
I'm sure the irony is unintentional on his part, but the statement is more true than meets the eye. Why? Because the photo is of none other than BillInBoston (BillinNH) himself. Heh, he belongs to himself.. I love it.
Rock on Bill!
Okay, one more and i'll stop for now... This is a 19 female switch in Utah, and the relevant part of her profile is the first line...
"*****Under Possible Consideration*****"
Mmkay, is this a brand new designation within the realm of D/s relationships? Someone is considering whether or not to consider her is what it sounds like to me. What I'm wondering here is whether the vanilla designation of this is `engaged to be engaged?'
No wait!!!... ONE more.. and I have a funny feeling this one is going to be like peeling an onion or some shit like that. But while browsing I came across this profile from someone called YurixX, a 23 female dominant in Durham, North Carolina.... Here's the profile..
"YurixK is a fake. My and her pics are from a girl I tricked on okcupid. Don't trust anyone with this girls pics. I have more of her that they don't have. Not wanting any thing but for them to be exposed thank you."
And then there's a journal on 8-22-2013...
"YurixK started as a profile to make me admit I am not real and is now a profile trying to use the pics I had to be a profile. Flag him without mercy"
Right then.. I looked for the profile of YurixK and find it's a 23 female dominant in Durham, North Carolina. Same person in the photos, and here's this one's profile..
"After careful consideration, I have decided to take missrachel1 as my new pet. She's rather a huge slut and can't get enough so all of you please feel free to use her with my blessing. Just remember to tell her that her Mistress YuriX sent you."
Still with me? So this YurixK person created a profile to make that YurixX person admit he was a fake, and is now trying to be a normal profile.. So let's peel some more of this onion and see what we can find.. Let's look at this missrachel1 that is mentioned on K's profile...
Missrachel1 is an 18 female dominant in the UK, and there's no written profile.. but there are several journals, here's the latest one on 7-19-2013.
"YurixX is threatening me she says i sent her pic which i didnt if she found pic of me i dont know how she got them and will upload them if i dont take down her pics but i do have one more that she sent that i haven't put up until now."
Right...Right.. This is starting to get weird.. this journal entry is speaking of X.. but K has photos in their profile of the same person in missrachel's profile.. So let's go to the scorecards..
X was messing around with this missrachel1 person... (I'm going to assume they were playing that favorite game of fake lesbians, break or be broken. seeing how X's profile photo shows that person with `slave' written on her arm...)And now K, who according to X was created to make X admit they were a fake... has apparently gone after missrachel1.. Of course if one were to (And I did, by the way) do a photo search on this missrachel1's photos, one would find missrachel1 is in fact a fake.
Mmkay.. back to the scorecard and let's see if we now have the whole picture.
YurixX tricked some girl on OKCupid into sending some photos, which they in turn used to create a profile on CM.. Played around with this missrachel1 person, ended up threatening missrachel1 with photos. Enter YurixK who creates a profile designed to catch YurixX being a fake...Then continues on with photos of missrachel1 in THAT profile and a profile that says they've taken missrachel1 as a pet.
Let's bring this full circle.. I messaged this K person and asked about YurixX's claims... You folks hold on tight.. Y'all are gonna love the reply I got.. Ready?
"From:
YurixK
Dated:
8/24/13 2:37 PM
what he says is true. what he doesn't say is i am the one from okcupid he tricked into sending pics."
Folks, just let it sink in slowly.. I suspect it's all a load of bullshit, but that was fucking FUNNY!
And on that note.. L8r peepz
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
You know it doesn't bother me in the least when I get messages from people who don't like my blog or something like that. But it DOES bother me somewhat when I get accused of things that aren't true, in specific that I am looking for money.
On September 1st, I will have maintained this blog for three years, and in all that time not once have I asked for, or accepted any sort of payment. (Yes, I've been offered gift cards and the like quite a few times.) There aren't even any links that act as click cash, or any advertisements.
I do this blog for FUN, and only fun.
Come on people, not everything is a scam. Hehe.
Right then...
How many profiles have you read where the person writing it has become disenchanted with the selection of people on the site and have a new, less nice attitude about the whole thing?
Yeah, quite a lot of them really. I can understand that, seeing all the different sorts of human refuse that can be found on sites such as CM. That whole anonymous thing allows it so it's not shocking that some get disenchanted over time after encountering some of them...
So how about after 1 (count em, ONE) day? Here's a 27 female dominant in Michigan and this person created their profile on 7-10-13 and after one day...this was her entire profile...
"I'm so pissed off at all the as holes on here I just want to make you suffer now."
That's the entire profile. Then there are the two journals written on 7-11-13
"I'm so pissed off at all you wothless mother fuckers on this page. No fucking wonder when I read all the womens profiles on here that they block men. You are fucking relentless and don't stop till you either drive them away or turn off men all together.
I deleted the 7 pages of mail and starting fresh."
And....
"Don't like my attitude, then don't fucking e-mail me. I'm so sick of all this high school bull shit. Grow up, take the bloody tampons out of your ass, and stop being such little pussies."
Can you just imagine the sort of messages this one got in her first day to cause this profile and journals? Well, any woman can tell you that a new profile will get you at least 100 messages in short order, so it's definitely not so much of a stretch that someone gets 7 pages in a day.
You submissive guys wonder why you have it so bad on sites like CM? Granted, there are tons of financial cunts to wade through and a lot of dommes whose idea of being served by a submissive rather involve you doing things for them like fix their roof and tend to get pissed off when you have the unmitigated gall to actually want your desires fulfilled in the process. (Even to the point where giving you a `session' is treated as an inconvenience to them.) I've seen some of those types call that looking for a "fetish delivery service" and if you want such you should go to a professional...
Oh fuck, don't tell me you don't know that type!
Here's a funny blog by someone called HorribleMistress..
http://www.horriblemistress.com/
Yes, there are female versions of the "I don't care what you want" sort of dominants out there and nothing can be done about it any more that you can do anything about their male counterparts... But the above profile is an (extreme) example of the reason you guys looking for a relationship are having trouble. The dominant women looking for relationships are bombarded by messages the moment they create their profile and likely are getting overwhelmed in short order. (Well, all women really.) And you should just see some of the shit we get via messages...
I don't know of any easy solution to that problem, the reality is the vast majority of relationship seekers are never going to find their ONE online... And you guys have a lot of competition for the attention of the real dommes on the site... (Now, by "real" domme you can read it as non-pro, non-fin for this purpose.) I can tell you THIS much however, messaging a woman and telling her in that first message that you want to be her slave is not the way to go about it. Believe me when I tell you that your willingness to jump right into something with no conversation isn't impressive or unique, unless of course you're willing to tribute to them.. hehehe.
Now for some of you dominant men who can't seem to find that special person/people/harem or whatever it is you're seeking... If your profile looks something like this 37 Brooklyn, New York dominant's...
"Straight forward, looking to have Total Control over your life, this means the following:
You do not have a mind, I am the one who keeps your life in order"
... And then goes on to list the activites you like without saying a fucking word about yourself... You know, a little something such as ohhhh... What might qualify you to actually be able to keep another person's life in order....
Do yourself a favor, REWRITE THE FUCKING THING!
The above profile goes on to say that because of the privacy of his past trainees, he can only show you cartoon photos of what you're in store for. (Uh huh.) He also helpfully includes photos of chain, clamps.. etc.
Yeah great, you have some toys. Meaningless photos when there is nothing in those photos that would indicate that you in fact know how to USE those items.
In his journals, he has this complaint about someone he considers to be fake..
"Fake: xxxxxxxxxxxxx Spent an hour texting back and fourth, sent only the Facebook screenshots taken with an iPhone, could not send a current or real photo. And when came done to it, couldn't handle what she was looking for."
Seriously? You spent a WHOLE hour texting? Just fucking wow! I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that it's likely you're going to have to spend a little more time than an hour to find someone such as the creature with no mind you're seeking. I could be mistaken, but somehow I doubt it, seeing as the first word of this cat's name is `Abusive.'
It's always kind of fun to read a profile and then try to figure out what part of said profile is a lie. Let me show you what I mean...
This is a 50 male dominant in Tulsa, Oklahoma and here's the entire profile..
"Lifestyle experienced for over 40 years. I enjoy your tears and will push you to the edge, testing each of your limits. Just how much can you handle? cuffs? clamps? But for how long? Try me and see! You must be serious about this and willing to prove it."
So, what do you think he's lying about, being 50, or having over 40 years of experience? Or perhaps you think he's telling the truth about both and in fact started in the "lifestyle" before he was 10?
This next bit is only for those in Ohio, so you folks in Ohio need to pay special attention, it's rather important you see.
This is a 50 female dominant near Columbus, Ohio... I and swear to all that is kinky and good this is an advertisement for something called "The Church of Authority and Atonement."
No, i'm serious, that's what it is.. Here's a little excerpt of the profile..
"This is an actual church that is devoted to assisting penitents to come to grips with the emotions, attitudes, and viewpoints that stand in the way of their learning to accept authority into their lives through the meaningful atonement of corporal penance."
This person refers to herself as the Reverend Mother and thankfully, there is no cost to us penitents to join the church..
"There is no cost to join the Church. Once enrolled as a penitent, a chuch member may place themselves on the Penance Roster by sending an email requesting Disciplinary Counseling at The Rectory. This counseling is designed to allow the penitent to review his inner spiritual fears regarding authority and external control. After counseling a penitent will be awarded penance with the Paddle of Atonement by the Reverend Mother. There will be no other implements of any kind used. No wooden spoons, no belts, no canes, no whips. Correction and discipline is administered ONLY with the Paddle of Atonement."
Ah, the Paddle of Atonement. You would think just on the surface that this paddle would be some elaborately fashioned tool of correction, perhaps ezblozened with some deep and meaningful proverb or some such, right? Nope... It's a cheap looking hunk of wood with some red twine wrapped around it, photographed as it stands against a stark white wall with sort of dingy baseboarding.
Somehow, I suspect this person is going to be rather on the popular side.... I don't know why. No really, free ass beatings and all you have to do is put up with the moralizing of Rev. Mama and then you get your ass whipping?.. Oh fuck yes, this one is gonna be popular.
For those of you who would be more inclined toward the other side of the spectrum... We have his infernal majesty himself.. Satan, a 53 dominant in Texas.
Not some reverend or any shit like that, this is the man himself. The guy seems real enough, but I had to include it after talking about the Church of Authority and Atonement, eh?
I'm going to end this entry by speaking of a real act of class. I'm sure many of you have heard the story of 12 year old Grant Reed, an Ohio State fan who named the cancer he was diagnosed with, "Michigan" so that when he beat it he can say he beat Michigan. Happy ending here is the cancer is in full remission.
The act of class... Brady Hoke, the head coach of Michigan called the kid and invited he and his father to attend "The Game" (Annual Ohio State vs Michigan football game, in Ann Arbor this year.) as his guest. Further, the Rotary Club of Jackson, Mi. has offered to pay for the Reeds' hotel.
Said Troy Reed, Grant's father, a former member of the Buckeye's marching band...."It's getting hard to keep my dislike for them, because they've been so classy and unbelievable to us, but it won't be hard to cheer for the Buckeyes."
The best part will be when Grant and his family take the field at Ann Arbor in November and, for just a few minutes, fans of both teams will cheer at the top of their lungs at the same time.
Two thumbs up to Brady Hoke and the Rotary Club of Jackson, Michigan.
That's it for now..
L8r peepz..
On September 1st, I will have maintained this blog for three years, and in all that time not once have I asked for, or accepted any sort of payment. (Yes, I've been offered gift cards and the like quite a few times.) There aren't even any links that act as click cash, or any advertisements.
I do this blog for FUN, and only fun.
Come on people, not everything is a scam. Hehe.
Right then...
How many profiles have you read where the person writing it has become disenchanted with the selection of people on the site and have a new, less nice attitude about the whole thing?
Yeah, quite a lot of them really. I can understand that, seeing all the different sorts of human refuse that can be found on sites such as CM. That whole anonymous thing allows it so it's not shocking that some get disenchanted over time after encountering some of them...
So how about after 1 (count em, ONE) day? Here's a 27 female dominant in Michigan and this person created their profile on 7-10-13 and after one day...this was her entire profile...
"I'm so pissed off at all the as holes on here I just want to make you suffer now."
That's the entire profile. Then there are the two journals written on 7-11-13
"I'm so pissed off at all you wothless mother fuckers on this page. No fucking wonder when I read all the womens profiles on here that they block men. You are fucking relentless and don't stop till you either drive them away or turn off men all together.
I deleted the 7 pages of mail and starting fresh."
And....
"Don't like my attitude, then don't fucking e-mail me. I'm so sick of all this high school bull shit. Grow up, take the bloody tampons out of your ass, and stop being such little pussies."
Can you just imagine the sort of messages this one got in her first day to cause this profile and journals? Well, any woman can tell you that a new profile will get you at least 100 messages in short order, so it's definitely not so much of a stretch that someone gets 7 pages in a day.
You submissive guys wonder why you have it so bad on sites like CM? Granted, there are tons of financial cunts to wade through and a lot of dommes whose idea of being served by a submissive rather involve you doing things for them like fix their roof and tend to get pissed off when you have the unmitigated gall to actually want your desires fulfilled in the process. (Even to the point where giving you a `session' is treated as an inconvenience to them.) I've seen some of those types call that looking for a "fetish delivery service" and if you want such you should go to a professional...
Oh fuck, don't tell me you don't know that type!
Here's a funny blog by someone called HorribleMistress..
http://www.horriblemistress.com/
Yes, there are female versions of the "I don't care what you want" sort of dominants out there and nothing can be done about it any more that you can do anything about their male counterparts... But the above profile is an (extreme) example of the reason you guys looking for a relationship are having trouble. The dominant women looking for relationships are bombarded by messages the moment they create their profile and likely are getting overwhelmed in short order. (Well, all women really.) And you should just see some of the shit we get via messages...
I don't know of any easy solution to that problem, the reality is the vast majority of relationship seekers are never going to find their ONE online... And you guys have a lot of competition for the attention of the real dommes on the site... (Now, by "real" domme you can read it as non-pro, non-fin for this purpose.) I can tell you THIS much however, messaging a woman and telling her in that first message that you want to be her slave is not the way to go about it. Believe me when I tell you that your willingness to jump right into something with no conversation isn't impressive or unique, unless of course you're willing to tribute to them.. hehehe.
Now for some of you dominant men who can't seem to find that special person/people/harem or whatever it is you're seeking... If your profile looks something like this 37 Brooklyn, New York dominant's...
"Straight forward, looking to have Total Control over your life, this means the following:
You do not have a mind, I am the one who keeps your life in order"
... And then goes on to list the activites you like without saying a fucking word about yourself... You know, a little something such as ohhhh... What might qualify you to actually be able to keep another person's life in order....
Do yourself a favor, REWRITE THE FUCKING THING!
The above profile goes on to say that because of the privacy of his past trainees, he can only show you cartoon photos of what you're in store for. (Uh huh.) He also helpfully includes photos of chain, clamps.. etc.
Yeah great, you have some toys. Meaningless photos when there is nothing in those photos that would indicate that you in fact know how to USE those items.
In his journals, he has this complaint about someone he considers to be fake..
"Fake: xxxxxxxxxxxxx Spent an hour texting back and fourth, sent only the Facebook screenshots taken with an iPhone, could not send a current or real photo. And when came done to it, couldn't handle what she was looking for."
Seriously? You spent a WHOLE hour texting? Just fucking wow! I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that it's likely you're going to have to spend a little more time than an hour to find someone such as the creature with no mind you're seeking. I could be mistaken, but somehow I doubt it, seeing as the first word of this cat's name is `Abusive.'
It's always kind of fun to read a profile and then try to figure out what part of said profile is a lie. Let me show you what I mean...
This is a 50 male dominant in Tulsa, Oklahoma and here's the entire profile..
"Lifestyle experienced for over 40 years. I enjoy your tears and will push you to the edge, testing each of your limits. Just how much can you handle? cuffs? clamps? But for how long? Try me and see! You must be serious about this and willing to prove it."
So, what do you think he's lying about, being 50, or having over 40 years of experience? Or perhaps you think he's telling the truth about both and in fact started in the "lifestyle" before he was 10?
This next bit is only for those in Ohio, so you folks in Ohio need to pay special attention, it's rather important you see.
This is a 50 female dominant near Columbus, Ohio... I and swear to all that is kinky and good this is an advertisement for something called "The Church of Authority and Atonement."
No, i'm serious, that's what it is.. Here's a little excerpt of the profile..
"This is an actual church that is devoted to assisting penitents to come to grips with the emotions, attitudes, and viewpoints that stand in the way of their learning to accept authority into their lives through the meaningful atonement of corporal penance."
This person refers to herself as the Reverend Mother and thankfully, there is no cost to us penitents to join the church..
"There is no cost to join the Church. Once enrolled as a penitent, a chuch member may place themselves on the Penance Roster by sending an email requesting Disciplinary Counseling at The Rectory. This counseling is designed to allow the penitent to review his inner spiritual fears regarding authority and external control. After counseling a penitent will be awarded penance with the Paddle of Atonement by the Reverend Mother. There will be no other implements of any kind used. No wooden spoons, no belts, no canes, no whips. Correction and discipline is administered ONLY with the Paddle of Atonement."
Ah, the Paddle of Atonement. You would think just on the surface that this paddle would be some elaborately fashioned tool of correction, perhaps ezblozened with some deep and meaningful proverb or some such, right? Nope... It's a cheap looking hunk of wood with some red twine wrapped around it, photographed as it stands against a stark white wall with sort of dingy baseboarding.
Somehow, I suspect this person is going to be rather on the popular side.... I don't know why. No really, free ass beatings and all you have to do is put up with the moralizing of Rev. Mama and then you get your ass whipping?.. Oh fuck yes, this one is gonna be popular.
For those of you who would be more inclined toward the other side of the spectrum... We have his infernal majesty himself.. Satan, a 53 dominant in Texas.
Not some reverend or any shit like that, this is the man himself. The guy seems real enough, but I had to include it after talking about the Church of Authority and Atonement, eh?
I'm going to end this entry by speaking of a real act of class. I'm sure many of you have heard the story of 12 year old Grant Reed, an Ohio State fan who named the cancer he was diagnosed with, "Michigan" so that when he beat it he can say he beat Michigan. Happy ending here is the cancer is in full remission.
The act of class... Brady Hoke, the head coach of Michigan called the kid and invited he and his father to attend "The Game" (Annual Ohio State vs Michigan football game, in Ann Arbor this year.) as his guest. Further, the Rotary Club of Jackson, Mi. has offered to pay for the Reeds' hotel.
Said Troy Reed, Grant's father, a former member of the Buckeye's marching band...."It's getting hard to keep my dislike for them, because they've been so classy and unbelievable to us, but it won't be hard to cheer for the Buckeyes."
The best part will be when Grant and his family take the field at Ann Arbor in November and, for just a few minutes, fans of both teams will cheer at the top of their lungs at the same time.
Two thumbs up to Brady Hoke and the Rotary Club of Jackson, Michigan.
That's it for now..
L8r peepz..
Monday, July 8, 2013
When I start getting messages every day wondering when I'm going to update this blog, I know it's getting time to either try to get it updated or exit stage left. I'm not ready to delete the UltimateDomme profile just yet, so let's see what we can find, hmm?
So, i've been seeing a lot of people in their profiles making fun of those who discovered BDSM via the evil 50 Shades of Grey...(Gasp!) For some reason, the cool kids feel the need to look down their noses at those who have done so.. But WHY?
How different is it from those who discovered this thing of ours via such routes as Story of O, Exit to Eden, Man With a Maid, 9 1/2 weeks, The Beauty Series, the Gor novels, The Secretary? What percentage of those who are into this kink discovered it via one of those avenues? I'll bet it's a significantly high percentage and there isn't a title in the above that represents anything resembling reality.
Oh I know, I know, I know, they don't have a clue about the TRUEEEEEEEEEEEE lifestyle. Whatever the fucking true lifestyle is I have no idea, but what those people who got turned on and interested in exploring because of 50 Shades DO have is some idea of what turns them on. If by some chance they can find someone who fits in with their desires, why do any one of you give a fuck? Climb down off your high horses already, you intolerant elitists.
Right then... Here's one i'm sure we've all seen variations of.. This one just tickled my funny bone. It's a 29 female dominant from Boston, Mass and she had the following journal entry..
"Until further notice I will not return any messages that are not accompanied with a small (ie $15 or above) item purchased from My wish list. If you can't open your wallet in such a pathetic manner to prove you are serious and I should keep communicating then move on.
This doesn't make Me a finDomme, just sick of time wasters and this shows Me you are at least partially for real"
Hmm, So she expects to be paid something to even TALK to you... but that doesn't make her a findomme ya see, but rather just someone sick of time wasters..
Uh huh, ask any financial cunt what their definition of a "time waster" is and the answer will be someone who wants to get something for nothing, and will not TRIBUTE.
Ah, now you know how I am with favoriting profiles so that I can easily find them again when I want to have a go at them. I did that with this one, and got this message...
MistressEmmyOwns on 6/9/13 at 10:53 PM:
you are funny i just read this for the first time
UltimateDomme on 6/10/13 at 4:34 PM:
Really? Most financial cunts don't especially like my humor.
MistressEmmyOwns on 6/10/13 at 4:39 PM:
I meant more pathetic. And I am not a financial cunt. you stupid pig.
Oh dear, it seems I upest this moron. Of course you know I was blocked after this. Eh and while writing this entry, it seems the person's profile no longer exists. Well shit.
Last time I posted (Yeah, I know it was several months ago) I made mention of a guy who put, "If I admired your profile there's probably something in it that I like" in his profile and had myself a bit of a giggle.
I've gotten several messages from those who know who that person is, he goes by the name of CellarPainDoor. Now, how might those people know who I was referring to in my last entry? Easy, he favorites EVERY woman he sees. All in all, the cat is harmless, he's looking for people to play for him on Skype and even puts that in his profile. He doesn't contact you in any way except to favorite your profile. Oh yes of course, favoriting someone's profile without sending them a message is a crime that's right up there with genocide from seeing how some people carry on about it.
He's got a new persona too, a 23 year old dominant in Boston, Mass.. same bit in his profile, same sort of photos from beefcake sites.. xsufferx is his new name, i'll bet you've been favorited by one or both of these folks.. Heheh
The somewhat more sinister folks are those such as Sadist26 and a few other names. They message you with fake claims and tell you that you've been reported. If you argue enough, it will eventually come down to them seeing you on camera to prove yourself to them. Funny stuff, that.
Over the past couple of years I've had a couple of people message me to comment on my blog and then invite me to have a go at their profile. Except for way back in the beginning I haven't done so.
Recently I had someone do this and when he invited me to have a `swipe' at his profile, I viewed it and in turn told the guy he also had a funny profile. (Well, he DOES! As an aside, he didn't message me again, hmm.) I wasn't going to post about it because I figured it HAD to be a joke profile. It and his journal are written in all caps, and is a bit of a ramble..
It HAS to be a joke profile, errr right? Well, i'll let you judge for yourself.. This is a 58 dominant from Bunkersburg, Canada. Here's the journal he posted.
"I AM GETTING COMPLAINTS FROM FEMALES WHO SAY, ''YOU ARE SO ARROGANT''. LISTEN UP-LOOK...I AM ALPHA-A...NOT BETA-A...NOT ALPHA-B....BUT, GET THIS> ''ALPHA-A''. THAT'S THE TOP OF THE ''FOOD CHAIN. I BACK THIS CLAIM UP WITH MY: BRAIN, MIND, MOUTH, FIST, KNIFE, AND GUN. I AM MORE THEN WILLING TO GO TO THE ''MAT'' OR ''WALL'' FOR WHAT I SAY-ETC.. I DO NOT CARE WHAT ''CUNTS'' THINK ABOUT ANYTHING, INCLUDING YOUR FIXATION ON SHOES AS AN INDICATOR OF YOUR ''WHATEVER''. GROW THE FUCK UP."
You'd have to read the profile to see it, but this cat is really freaked out about shoes. I don't even want to know why. *giggle*
"Shoesssss!" - Lilianna, Dragon Age : Origins
Here's one whose name on CM I think needs to be rethought. Let me explain, this is a 41 dominant in ON, Canada and this fella considers himself to be um, well hung. We can ascertain this from his name. The profile itself is nothing much other than he speaks of himself in the third person which always causes me to roll my eyes, but the photos in this one caused me to cover my mouth to keep from spewing the liquid I was drinking all over my monitor.
Anyway, all three photos in his profile are of what I assume to be this guy's erect cock. Now, far be it from me to call someone a liar or deluded.... But dude, if you're going to make such a boast about yourself, it's probably not a very good idea to hold your hand in such a way in your photos that quite clearly reveal your thumb is nearly as large as your manhood.. Just sayin'!
Ah, not too much to say this time.. Just consider this an "I'm still around" sort of post. Hopefully there will be more soon, but no promises..
L8r Peepz
So, i've been seeing a lot of people in their profiles making fun of those who discovered BDSM via the evil 50 Shades of Grey...(Gasp!) For some reason, the cool kids feel the need to look down their noses at those who have done so.. But WHY?
How different is it from those who discovered this thing of ours via such routes as Story of O, Exit to Eden, Man With a Maid, 9 1/2 weeks, The Beauty Series, the Gor novels, The Secretary? What percentage of those who are into this kink discovered it via one of those avenues? I'll bet it's a significantly high percentage and there isn't a title in the above that represents anything resembling reality.
Oh I know, I know, I know, they don't have a clue about the TRUEEEEEEEEEEEE lifestyle. Whatever the fucking true lifestyle is I have no idea, but what those people who got turned on and interested in exploring because of 50 Shades DO have is some idea of what turns them on. If by some chance they can find someone who fits in with their desires, why do any one of you give a fuck? Climb down off your high horses already, you intolerant elitists.
Right then... Here's one i'm sure we've all seen variations of.. This one just tickled my funny bone. It's a 29 female dominant from Boston, Mass and she had the following journal entry..
"Until further notice I will not return any messages that are not accompanied with a small (ie $15 or above) item purchased from My wish list. If you can't open your wallet in such a pathetic manner to prove you are serious and I should keep communicating then move on.
This doesn't make Me a finDomme, just sick of time wasters and this shows Me you are at least partially for real"
Hmm, So she expects to be paid something to even TALK to you... but that doesn't make her a findomme ya see, but rather just someone sick of time wasters..
Uh huh, ask any financial cunt what their definition of a "time waster" is and the answer will be someone who wants to get something for nothing, and will not TRIBUTE.
Ah, now you know how I am with favoriting profiles so that I can easily find them again when I want to have a go at them. I did that with this one, and got this message...
MistressEmmyOwns on 6/9/13 at 10:53 PM:
you are funny i just read this for the first time
UltimateDomme on 6/10/13 at 4:34 PM:
Really? Most financial cunts don't especially like my humor.
MistressEmmyOwns on 6/10/13 at 4:39 PM:
I meant more pathetic. And I am not a financial cunt. you stupid pig.
Oh dear, it seems I upest this moron. Of course you know I was blocked after this. Eh and while writing this entry, it seems the person's profile no longer exists. Well shit.
Last time I posted (Yeah, I know it was several months ago) I made mention of a guy who put, "If I admired your profile there's probably something in it that I like" in his profile and had myself a bit of a giggle.
I've gotten several messages from those who know who that person is, he goes by the name of CellarPainDoor. Now, how might those people know who I was referring to in my last entry? Easy, he favorites EVERY woman he sees. All in all, the cat is harmless, he's looking for people to play for him on Skype and even puts that in his profile. He doesn't contact you in any way except to favorite your profile. Oh yes of course, favoriting someone's profile without sending them a message is a crime that's right up there with genocide from seeing how some people carry on about it.
He's got a new persona too, a 23 year old dominant in Boston, Mass.. same bit in his profile, same sort of photos from beefcake sites.. xsufferx is his new name, i'll bet you've been favorited by one or both of these folks.. Heheh
The somewhat more sinister folks are those such as Sadist26 and a few other names. They message you with fake claims and tell you that you've been reported. If you argue enough, it will eventually come down to them seeing you on camera to prove yourself to them. Funny stuff, that.
Over the past couple of years I've had a couple of people message me to comment on my blog and then invite me to have a go at their profile. Except for way back in the beginning I haven't done so.
Recently I had someone do this and when he invited me to have a `swipe' at his profile, I viewed it and in turn told the guy he also had a funny profile. (Well, he DOES! As an aside, he didn't message me again, hmm.) I wasn't going to post about it because I figured it HAD to be a joke profile. It and his journal are written in all caps, and is a bit of a ramble..
It HAS to be a joke profile, errr right? Well, i'll let you judge for yourself.. This is a 58 dominant from Bunkersburg, Canada. Here's the journal he posted.
"I AM GETTING COMPLAINTS FROM FEMALES WHO SAY, ''YOU ARE SO ARROGANT''. LISTEN UP-LOOK...I AM ALPHA-A...NOT BETA-A...NOT ALPHA-B....BUT, GET THIS> ''ALPHA-A''. THAT'S THE TOP OF THE ''FOOD CHAIN. I BACK THIS CLAIM UP WITH MY: BRAIN, MIND, MOUTH, FIST, KNIFE, AND GUN. I AM MORE THEN WILLING TO GO TO THE ''MAT'' OR ''WALL'' FOR WHAT I SAY-ETC.. I DO NOT CARE WHAT ''CUNTS'' THINK ABOUT ANYTHING, INCLUDING YOUR FIXATION ON SHOES AS AN INDICATOR OF YOUR ''WHATEVER''. GROW THE FUCK UP."
You'd have to read the profile to see it, but this cat is really freaked out about shoes. I don't even want to know why. *giggle*
"Shoesssss!" - Lilianna, Dragon Age : Origins
Here's one whose name on CM I think needs to be rethought. Let me explain, this is a 41 dominant in ON, Canada and this fella considers himself to be um, well hung. We can ascertain this from his name. The profile itself is nothing much other than he speaks of himself in the third person which always causes me to roll my eyes, but the photos in this one caused me to cover my mouth to keep from spewing the liquid I was drinking all over my monitor.
Anyway, all three photos in his profile are of what I assume to be this guy's erect cock. Now, far be it from me to call someone a liar or deluded.... But dude, if you're going to make such a boast about yourself, it's probably not a very good idea to hold your hand in such a way in your photos that quite clearly reveal your thumb is nearly as large as your manhood.. Just sayin'!
Ah, not too much to say this time.. Just consider this an "I'm still around" sort of post. Hopefully there will be more soon, but no promises..
L8r Peepz
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Even today, over two years since I started the UltimateDomme profile and this blog... It never fails to send me into hysterical fits of giggles when someone has taken my profile seriously.. Messages me to take issue with it.. And then blocks me..
This is a 41 male dominant in Texas and you KNOW this profile.. I really don't need to post any of it, but I will anyway.
"I don't believe women can truly be Dominant, and if you really insist on proving to me that women are more dominant than men, by all means, feel free to waste your time trying to argue your point. I will patiently listen to you, argue my points, and in the end, I'll be right."
Hey now, I told you that you know this profile. We've seen this asshole many, many times in our travels.. If you read the whole thing you'll see exactly what I mean. Anyhowwwwww.. here's the exchange.
"Xxxxxxxxxxxx on 11/21/12 at 12:01 PM:
3 weeks of training was rigorous? LOL... I apprenticed for two years as a submissive before I was even allowed to call myself a Dom, or pick up a toy to learn how to use. You haven't had any training my dear LOL
UltimateDomme on 11/21/12 at 1:02 PM:
Ooo yeah? Did you study under the great dragon master of all things BDSM? LOL.. Gomer, Here's ya sign.
Xxxxxxxxxxxx on 11/21/12 at 2:03 PM:
LMAO. Honey, don't try to play the intimidation game. It only works on newbies or idiots who have no idea what you're talking about. I've been in this lifestyle for over 20 years, longer than you were even contemplating it.
I've been involved in the local AND NATIONAL scene, and attend all of the national BDSM functions such as Thunder in The Mountains, SWLC, Chicago Pansexual, Washington DC's Black Rose event, NY, Texas, you name it. I actually helped organize Thunder, and lead security for the event for a few years before leaving the Denver area. So by all means, please feel free to elaborate. Who pray tell is this GREAT DUNGEON MASTER OF ALL THINGS BDSM? LOL Because if he truly is such, He would be the first to tell you that 3 weeks of training doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of all you have to learn in this lifestyle LOL
Nice try honey...
UltimateDomme on 11/21/12 at 3:02 PM:
You ummmm.. didn't actually READ my profile did you, gomer?
Yeah, you're soooooooo well known in the local AND NATIIONAL scene.. and did alllllllll this wonderful stuff... Yet you're trolling on the internet looking for your doormat.
LOL..
Xxxxxxxxxxxx on 11/21/12 at 3:05 PM:
ROTFLMAO on yea, you got me. You figured me out. How completely Domly of you LOL"
The message I tried to send back basically only asked again if he'd actually read my profile and of course I discovered I was blocked.
Right then, why would you imagine he blocked me after that exchange? If I had to guess, i'd say that after my 2nd message he went back and actually paid attention to what is written in my profile, figured out that it's satire and felt pretty stoopid afterwards...
His 2nd message to me is actually kind of instructional for those who are having a bit of trouble figuring out whom amongst the many that messages you, are on the level or not. His profile gives him away as being someone who only wants a doormat, but the message give us other insight..
What he does in this message is make it a point to tell me that he has over 20 years in the lifestyle. In this case, he's doing so because he feels it's going to make him seem more real to the one who challenged his words, and that he knows what he's talking about.
What he doesn't see is that posting that sort of message shows clearly how insecure he is. It would be a safe bet that all the nonsense he posted in the 2nd paragraph is bollocks. What possible reason could someone have to brag about these things to a stranger on the internet? None, he's posing where there is no need to do so.
If I were a submissive and got this message from someone claiming to be a dominant, I immediately would see this person as someone I have no desire to know. His experience is more than likely confined to chat rooms and that sort of thing, and that makes him a dangerous person to trust with your body in a real life situation. NOT that I have any problem with those whose only experience is the internet, my problem is with those people who claim experience they do not have, and end up hurting someone in the process. You don't think that happens a lot? It does.
Yep, people who go out of their way to tell you they have Xx years of experience, was a Navy Seal, etc etc.. Do not, were not. Best in my opinion to just leave those sorts in the rearview mirror.
Let's see, a couple of years ago she gets revenge on her cheating man by doing a clyde the orangutan scrap job on his truck...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WaSy8yy-mr8
Now she's taking more drastic measures when the guy cheats.. I know, you fellas are going, "Hold on, MORE drastic than fucking up my truck?"
Yep..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8WCK8sDXsI
Now she's killin' motherfuckers.
The moral of the story here? Thou shalt not fuck around on Carrie Underwood.
This ain't your grandfather's country music anymore folks.. No no no.. All that Stand by Your Man shit has given way to Gunpowder and Lead, Independence Day, Before he Cheats, Two Black Cadillacs..
Tiid Bo Amatiiv... Time flows ever onward. <--- Yep, that's from Skyrim.
Here are a couple more profiles I find funny.. This one is a 24 male dominant in Illinois, and he has this little gemstone contained within...
"If I admired your profile there's probably something in it that I like
Don't ask me what it was, you'll be ignored."
Oh come on! "Yeah, I liked your profile but don't ask me why" is the same as the guy I posted about in the past who said don't ask him to explain his interest in you.
Granted, this guy is basically looking for someone to play slave on camera for him.. But I found it funny.. (He has some awesome shots from the beefcake websites in his profile, though. Yummy!)
Now this one on the other hand, is one of those profiles I could spend an entire two blog entires ripping into.. Not only is this a LONG profile, but it's chock full of fucking funny.. The lulz! The lulz!
So here we go, this is a 47 male dominant in Wisconsin and he identifes as a Gorean Male (In bold type.) Now, other than a couple of things that made me giggle.. I'm not going to be making fun of him being into Gor.. No, he gives ample opportunity to do so with the rest of his profile.. *cracks knuckles*..
Right then..
Okay, first he speaks of some sort of 48 hour protocol on messages. It means if he sends you a message, and you do not respond within 48 hours of reading it, you get blocked. Heh yeah, i'll bet this clown blocks a LOT of people.. Anywhooooooo.. He goes on to say if you are offended by this 48 hour protocol you should not be decribing yourself as a submissive.
He then goes on to decribe certain traits or beliefs one may have if they are fakes, wannabes, or ignorant. Wait, some of these are real rib ticklers.. My comments interposed..
"Fakes, Wanna-Be's and Ignorance.
-Submissive's in name only
-talking the talk, but not walking the walk?
(This one is ironic because his entire profile is comprised of nothing but someone who is "talking the talk.")
-topping from the bottom?
-If you want, demand or think you deserve all the 'perks and trappings' before you earn your stripes
.
-If you think 'your submission' is a gift.
-"I'm not going to call you 'Sir' until I decide'.
(Yeah, because everyone knows it's not a submissive's role to decide to whom and when they will submit, or decide for themselves who is worthy of any sort of respect. Granted, in the Gor thing it is expected that all free men are be accorded this sort of respect and those women who partake know this.)
-If you know exactly what you want and your not going to settle for anything less.
(Oh come on now... What possible problem could someone have with a person who knows exactly what they want and will not settle? This dipshit's profile says right before this list that he's written it for the specific purpose of weeding out those who don't qualify for whatever it is he seeks...Does he intend to settle? Dude, fuck you.)
-If you think you should be telling a Dominant how to define your/female submission.
(Well, I certainly don't see the problem with telling someone the sort of things you respond to. You know, that whole getting to know someone bit some people do when they meet possible mates?)
-If you think a Dominant owes you to seduce your mind so your body will follow.
(Wow, does this cat have any idea whatsoever of how women work? If you can't get in her head, you're never going to get her in your bed.)
-If you will not follow instructions.
-If your 'smartphone', motorcycle or any other inadament object, is more important than personal relationships.
-If you think you can treat Dominant men like vanilla men.
(Yeah, no shit? If someone were to treat you like a vanilla man, you'd never get past the introduction stage. In fact, the overwhelming majority of the shit in your fantasy island profile doesn't play even in the kink world aside from Gor.)
-If you know what you deserve, and no man is going to tell you different.
(Yeah, and the problem with that is?)
-If you think that because you have something to offer to a 'vanilla' man, that the same counts for a Dominant man.
(Yeah, because dominant men are on a totally different level than the rest of the human race, yanno... They're never interested in, or attracted to things mere vanilla men are. Yes, he mentions the idea of vanilla men vs whatever the fuck he is a few times in this profile. More than likely, (I think in my amateur psychologist way,) he's a failure at being a man in general, and Gor is his way of escaping that fact. And you know what, I wouldn't hold that against him. He's certainly not the first nor the last who will find escape via the online world.)
-If your more worried about grammar and punctuation, then actual communication with a perspective Dom.
(LOL. This one is especially funny to me seeing as he makes a reference to "actual communication" with a perspective dom. Dude, dude, dude! Details, attention to details.. grammar, punctuation, spelling.. when you're communicating on a text level, THOSE THINGS MATTER. I've said this before, and it holds oh so true, with how detail oriented BDSM, or Gor is for that matter, fuck.. Gor roleplay is WAY more detail oriented, really... Your attention to the little details such as grammar, spelling, punctuation give a perspective submissive a lot of insight into you as a perspective dominant. Who in their right mind would overlook the fact that you can't be bothered to make sure your writings are at least gramatically correct? Dude, that first impression is hard to shake when you fuck it up.)
-If you 'say' you want it, but make excuses not to get it.
-If your argumentative.
-If you write your profile for yourself.
(Well fuck, if you're on here looking for someone, who the fuck else would or should be writing your profile?)
-If your disrespectful in anyway in your profile.
(Disrespectful as in saying something like they wouldn't be interested in a 47 year old moron in Wisconsin with a god complex and many shortcomings? Yeah, i'd disqualify them as well if I were you.)
-If you don't want or expect your life to change.
-If your knowledge of the Gorean way can be somed-up in a three sentence paragraph or less,and you think, you know all there is to know.
-If your romanticizing submission before you know anything about it.
-If you think 'you' should be telling a Dominant how to be dominant.
(Now think about this one... Yeah, it's probably topping from the bottom for this cat's purposes, but who better a teacher than than the one who is your submissive?)
-If you call yourself a 'Submissive' when really your a 'Bottom.
(Somehow, I get the feeling that most of these bottoms who call themselves submissive as defined by this guy, are simply those who do not have any desire to be 24/7. Has a mind, and opinions, and not afraid to use it, or express them.)
-If you dictate demands in your profile to a prospective Dom.
(Demands such as the sort of things they want their dominant to be or some of the traits they want him to possess? How dare they!)
-If you think that, because your female that Dominants are going to or should pursue/woo you.
(Way of the world, gomer.. You're supposed to be the hunter, you're a male after all... If you want a 1950's type girl, you better be able to relate to her on that level if you ever want to separate her from her knickers.)
-If you want to retain the trump-card of power, so control is ultimately yours.
(You can never take away that ultimate control no matter what you do. (Legally that is.) Leaving is the ultimate control a submissive can have.)
-If you use ambiguous terms such as 'my One', 'experienced only', 'good fit', 'Alpha male', 'strong willed' or ' a intelligent man', etc. etc.
(You mean such ambiguous terms such as "D5 or higher submissive?")
-If you use the term 'Natural Dominate' in the Western Culture.
(Okay, he's got a point here.. When I see someone call themselves a "Natural Dominant" in ANY culture.. I see someone who is deluded.)
-If you think the power-shift (D/S,M/S) is a 'partnership'.
-If you don't know anything of proper etiquette and/or you don't care.
-If you use 'slave imagery' in your profile when you don't want to be owned.
(Now this one annoys me too. On both sides of the coin, from both subs and doms.)
-If your a bedroom submissive only.
(Well okay. But tell me, what in the realm of the great prophet Zarquon would a bedroom submissive want with someone like you in the first place?)
-If you use the word Dominant/Master when you should say 'kinky boyfriend.'
-Are you in this for the 'fun' or 'kinky sex'- your a 'toy', don't expect to get any real training anywhere
.
(Wellllllll.. If someone was in this for the fun and/or kinky sex, why the fuck would they be worried about someone's opinion of "real training?")
-If your not owned you are not slave, slaves are owned and do not have choices. 'Unowned property' would be more correct.
(You nitpicking little pussy!)
-are you afraid of the transformation to total submission?"
Oh wait now, this cat is just getting started..
Further down the line, he says if you pass the first stage of qualification he has an "information packet" that is several pages and it's basically all he would want you to know about him. His major requirement for this qualification is that you be a "D5 or higher" submissive. (He explains what a D5 submissive is at the end of his profile.)
Can..Can you say Castle Realm? I knew you could. (Note, for those of you who don't know what Castle Realm is, it was a website that was supposed to be a "guide" to D/s and BDSM.. While there were some good articles on the site, most were chatroom bullshit.. The site ran from 1998-2008 before it was taken down.. There's a partial archive of that site on kinktoychest.. and hereeeeeeeee's the link for you.)
http://kinktoychest.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=63&Itemid=63
Anyway, this is what he says about said information packet..
"If you are interested in my household, I have a information packet (several pages) about me available for the asking. To get onto a personal level with me this is the required first step, you will not be taken seriously until you do. If you try to 'drill' me for information while 'chatting', you will prove to me that you can not follow instructions. The information packet comes with no obligation and is available to all submissive females."
Right, right... In other words, if you try to get to know him while chatting, you'll be disqualified.. Now, what was it this world class dipshit was saying about communication? Let me show you...
"A solid foundation of communication is required. There is straight forward clear communication here. This is a no bullshit zone."
It doesn't take a detective to see that the sort of communication he envisions is he gives you this "information packet" which you KNOW will be extremely polished and will not require him to think on his feet. The "communication" that's going to happen with this guy I can almost promise you will be one way, with you giving him all the information he wants, while you will not be allowed to ask for information in return.
Okay, he doesn't actually expect people to message him first as the tone of this profile may suggest. What he does, is send an "invitation" to someone.. He helpfully includes this invitation in the profile.
""Girl, I invite you to read my profile, from the time of you opening this invitation you will have 48 hrs to reply.
Sir""
He then shows you some of the replies he's gotten as a result of this invitation
.
""Not the best introduction I have seen....Don't like men who show up and start imposing guidelines before we even exchange emails. No thanks...and that only took 48 seconds"
"or else I'll block you? Don't be ridiculous. I'm the one you would have to convince and you know it. Have a nice day...and that is 24 hours"
"Really? Pardon me, but learn some manners. Just because I'm submissive doesn't mean I'm YOUR submissive, and you don't impress me.""
Well, i'll bet he's gotten some juicier responses than that. Think about it, you're a submissive and you get this sort of "invitation" in the mail, and are given a time limit to respond right out of the starting gate.. What are you thinking of someone so childish as to impose this on someone he doesn't yet know?
There were a couple of others, but you get the gist. Of course in his mind THEY are the clueless ones. He was actually posting this to show their stupidity at not recognizing the opportunity he offers.. No, he actually says that in his profile about the opportunity.
Ah, I could go on and on with this one, but i'll stop.. Oh yeah, the "D5 or higher" bit.. what could that possibly mean?
Well, here's how he defines it very near the bottom of this profile..
"Ok...so if you have read this far and you understand why this is written the way it is- then, in this Dom's judgment you are of a serious natured Submissive (D5 or higher) then is the next step is yours?"
In other words, if you read all this shit and are still there and are interested, you're what he considers D5 or higher..
And then he mercifully wraps up his profile with a little comment that the profile also exists on Alt.. and ends with that wondfully funny disclaimer about his privacy.
Hey, I honestly only scratched the surface on this one, if you find this profile and can stomach reading the whole thing, have at it.
I'm gonna give him props for something in the beginning of the profile, though. He does say that it will take you about 10 minutes to read the whole thing. So if anyone reads his profile and then thinks, "That's 10 minutes i'll never get back." Tough shit, you were warned... hehe.
That's it for now.. L8r Peepz.
This is a 41 male dominant in Texas and you KNOW this profile.. I really don't need to post any of it, but I will anyway.
"I don't believe women can truly be Dominant, and if you really insist on proving to me that women are more dominant than men, by all means, feel free to waste your time trying to argue your point. I will patiently listen to you, argue my points, and in the end, I'll be right."
Hey now, I told you that you know this profile. We've seen this asshole many, many times in our travels.. If you read the whole thing you'll see exactly what I mean. Anyhowwwwww.. here's the exchange.
"Xxxxxxxxxxxx on 11/21/12 at 12:01 PM:
3 weeks of training was rigorous? LOL... I apprenticed for two years as a submissive before I was even allowed to call myself a Dom, or pick up a toy to learn how to use. You haven't had any training my dear LOL
UltimateDomme on 11/21/12 at 1:02 PM:
Ooo yeah? Did you study under the great dragon master of all things BDSM? LOL.. Gomer, Here's ya sign.
Xxxxxxxxxxxx on 11/21/12 at 2:03 PM:
LMAO. Honey, don't try to play the intimidation game. It only works on newbies or idiots who have no idea what you're talking about. I've been in this lifestyle for over 20 years, longer than you were even contemplating it.
I've been involved in the local AND NATIONAL scene, and attend all of the national BDSM functions such as Thunder in The Mountains, SWLC, Chicago Pansexual, Washington DC's Black Rose event, NY, Texas, you name it. I actually helped organize Thunder, and lead security for the event for a few years before leaving the Denver area. So by all means, please feel free to elaborate. Who pray tell is this GREAT DUNGEON MASTER OF ALL THINGS BDSM? LOL Because if he truly is such, He would be the first to tell you that 3 weeks of training doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of all you have to learn in this lifestyle LOL
Nice try honey...
UltimateDomme on 11/21/12 at 3:02 PM:
You ummmm.. didn't actually READ my profile did you, gomer?
Yeah, you're soooooooo well known in the local AND NATIIONAL scene.. and did alllllllll this wonderful stuff... Yet you're trolling on the internet looking for your doormat.
LOL..
Xxxxxxxxxxxx on 11/21/12 at 3:05 PM:
ROTFLMAO on yea, you got me. You figured me out. How completely Domly of you LOL"
The message I tried to send back basically only asked again if he'd actually read my profile and of course I discovered I was blocked.
Right then, why would you imagine he blocked me after that exchange? If I had to guess, i'd say that after my 2nd message he went back and actually paid attention to what is written in my profile, figured out that it's satire and felt pretty stoopid afterwards...
His 2nd message to me is actually kind of instructional for those who are having a bit of trouble figuring out whom amongst the many that messages you, are on the level or not. His profile gives him away as being someone who only wants a doormat, but the message give us other insight..
What he does in this message is make it a point to tell me that he has over 20 years in the lifestyle. In this case, he's doing so because he feels it's going to make him seem more real to the one who challenged his words, and that he knows what he's talking about.
What he doesn't see is that posting that sort of message shows clearly how insecure he is. It would be a safe bet that all the nonsense he posted in the 2nd paragraph is bollocks. What possible reason could someone have to brag about these things to a stranger on the internet? None, he's posing where there is no need to do so.
If I were a submissive and got this message from someone claiming to be a dominant, I immediately would see this person as someone I have no desire to know. His experience is more than likely confined to chat rooms and that sort of thing, and that makes him a dangerous person to trust with your body in a real life situation. NOT that I have any problem with those whose only experience is the internet, my problem is with those people who claim experience they do not have, and end up hurting someone in the process. You don't think that happens a lot? It does.
Yep, people who go out of their way to tell you they have Xx years of experience, was a Navy Seal, etc etc.. Do not, were not. Best in my opinion to just leave those sorts in the rearview mirror.
Let's see, a couple of years ago she gets revenge on her cheating man by doing a clyde the orangutan scrap job on his truck...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WaSy8yy-mr8
Now she's taking more drastic measures when the guy cheats.. I know, you fellas are going, "Hold on, MORE drastic than fucking up my truck?"
Yep..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8WCK8sDXsI
Now she's killin' motherfuckers.
The moral of the story here? Thou shalt not fuck around on Carrie Underwood.
This ain't your grandfather's country music anymore folks.. No no no.. All that Stand by Your Man shit has given way to Gunpowder and Lead, Independence Day, Before he Cheats, Two Black Cadillacs..
Tiid Bo Amatiiv... Time flows ever onward. <--- Yep, that's from Skyrim.
Here are a couple more profiles I find funny.. This one is a 24 male dominant in Illinois, and he has this little gemstone contained within...
"If I admired your profile there's probably something in it that I like
Don't ask me what it was, you'll be ignored."
Oh come on! "Yeah, I liked your profile but don't ask me why" is the same as the guy I posted about in the past who said don't ask him to explain his interest in you.
Granted, this guy is basically looking for someone to play slave on camera for him.. But I found it funny.. (He has some awesome shots from the beefcake websites in his profile, though. Yummy!)
Now this one on the other hand, is one of those profiles I could spend an entire two blog entires ripping into.. Not only is this a LONG profile, but it's chock full of fucking funny.. The lulz! The lulz!
So here we go, this is a 47 male dominant in Wisconsin and he identifes as a Gorean Male (In bold type.) Now, other than a couple of things that made me giggle.. I'm not going to be making fun of him being into Gor.. No, he gives ample opportunity to do so with the rest of his profile.. *cracks knuckles*..
Right then..
Okay, first he speaks of some sort of 48 hour protocol on messages. It means if he sends you a message, and you do not respond within 48 hours of reading it, you get blocked. Heh yeah, i'll bet this clown blocks a LOT of people.. Anywhooooooo.. He goes on to say if you are offended by this 48 hour protocol you should not be decribing yourself as a submissive.
He then goes on to decribe certain traits or beliefs one may have if they are fakes, wannabes, or ignorant. Wait, some of these are real rib ticklers.. My comments interposed..
"Fakes, Wanna-Be's and Ignorance.
-Submissive's in name only
-talking the talk, but not walking the walk?
(This one is ironic because his entire profile is comprised of nothing but someone who is "talking the talk.")
-topping from the bottom?
-If you want, demand or think you deserve all the 'perks and trappings' before you earn your stripes
.
-If you think 'your submission' is a gift.
-"I'm not going to call you 'Sir' until I decide'.
(Yeah, because everyone knows it's not a submissive's role to decide to whom and when they will submit, or decide for themselves who is worthy of any sort of respect. Granted, in the Gor thing it is expected that all free men are be accorded this sort of respect and those women who partake know this.)
-If you know exactly what you want and your not going to settle for anything less.
(Oh come on now... What possible problem could someone have with a person who knows exactly what they want and will not settle? This dipshit's profile says right before this list that he's written it for the specific purpose of weeding out those who don't qualify for whatever it is he seeks...Does he intend to settle? Dude, fuck you.)
-If you think you should be telling a Dominant how to define your/female submission.
(Well, I certainly don't see the problem with telling someone the sort of things you respond to. You know, that whole getting to know someone bit some people do when they meet possible mates?)
-If you think a Dominant owes you to seduce your mind so your body will follow.
(Wow, does this cat have any idea whatsoever of how women work? If you can't get in her head, you're never going to get her in your bed.)
-If you will not follow instructions.
-If your 'smartphone', motorcycle or any other inadament object, is more important than personal relationships.
-If you think you can treat Dominant men like vanilla men.
(Yeah, no shit? If someone were to treat you like a vanilla man, you'd never get past the introduction stage. In fact, the overwhelming majority of the shit in your fantasy island profile doesn't play even in the kink world aside from Gor.)
-If you know what you deserve, and no man is going to tell you different.
(Yeah, and the problem with that is?)
-If you think that because you have something to offer to a 'vanilla' man, that the same counts for a Dominant man.
(Yeah, because dominant men are on a totally different level than the rest of the human race, yanno... They're never interested in, or attracted to things mere vanilla men are. Yes, he mentions the idea of vanilla men vs whatever the fuck he is a few times in this profile. More than likely, (I think in my amateur psychologist way,) he's a failure at being a man in general, and Gor is his way of escaping that fact. And you know what, I wouldn't hold that against him. He's certainly not the first nor the last who will find escape via the online world.)
-If your more worried about grammar and punctuation, then actual communication with a perspective Dom.
(LOL. This one is especially funny to me seeing as he makes a reference to "actual communication" with a perspective dom. Dude, dude, dude! Details, attention to details.. grammar, punctuation, spelling.. when you're communicating on a text level, THOSE THINGS MATTER. I've said this before, and it holds oh so true, with how detail oriented BDSM, or Gor is for that matter, fuck.. Gor roleplay is WAY more detail oriented, really... Your attention to the little details such as grammar, spelling, punctuation give a perspective submissive a lot of insight into you as a perspective dominant. Who in their right mind would overlook the fact that you can't be bothered to make sure your writings are at least gramatically correct? Dude, that first impression is hard to shake when you fuck it up.)
-If you 'say' you want it, but make excuses not to get it.
-If your argumentative.
-If you write your profile for yourself.
(Well fuck, if you're on here looking for someone, who the fuck else would or should be writing your profile?)
-If your disrespectful in anyway in your profile.
(Disrespectful as in saying something like they wouldn't be interested in a 47 year old moron in Wisconsin with a god complex and many shortcomings? Yeah, i'd disqualify them as well if I were you.)
-If you don't want or expect your life to change.
-If your knowledge of the Gorean way can be somed-up in a three sentence paragraph or less,and you think, you know all there is to know.
-If your romanticizing submission before you know anything about it.
-If you think 'you' should be telling a Dominant how to be dominant.
(Now think about this one... Yeah, it's probably topping from the bottom for this cat's purposes, but who better a teacher than than the one who is your submissive?)
-If you call yourself a 'Submissive' when really your a 'Bottom.
(Somehow, I get the feeling that most of these bottoms who call themselves submissive as defined by this guy, are simply those who do not have any desire to be 24/7. Has a mind, and opinions, and not afraid to use it, or express them.)
-If you dictate demands in your profile to a prospective Dom.
(Demands such as the sort of things they want their dominant to be or some of the traits they want him to possess? How dare they!)
-If you think that, because your female that Dominants are going to or should pursue/woo you.
(Way of the world, gomer.. You're supposed to be the hunter, you're a male after all... If you want a 1950's type girl, you better be able to relate to her on that level if you ever want to separate her from her knickers.)
-If you want to retain the trump-card of power, so control is ultimately yours.
(You can never take away that ultimate control no matter what you do. (Legally that is.) Leaving is the ultimate control a submissive can have.)
-If you use ambiguous terms such as 'my One', 'experienced only', 'good fit', 'Alpha male', 'strong willed' or ' a intelligent man', etc. etc.
(You mean such ambiguous terms such as "D5 or higher submissive?")
-If you use the term 'Natural Dominate' in the Western Culture.
(Okay, he's got a point here.. When I see someone call themselves a "Natural Dominant" in ANY culture.. I see someone who is deluded.)
-If you think the power-shift (D/S,M/S) is a 'partnership'.
-If you don't know anything of proper etiquette and/or you don't care.
-If you use 'slave imagery' in your profile when you don't want to be owned.
(Now this one annoys me too. On both sides of the coin, from both subs and doms.)
-If your a bedroom submissive only.
(Well okay. But tell me, what in the realm of the great prophet Zarquon would a bedroom submissive want with someone like you in the first place?)
-If you use the word Dominant/Master when you should say 'kinky boyfriend.'
-Are you in this for the 'fun' or 'kinky sex'- your a 'toy', don't expect to get any real training anywhere
.
(Wellllllll.. If someone was in this for the fun and/or kinky sex, why the fuck would they be worried about someone's opinion of "real training?")
-If your not owned you are not slave, slaves are owned and do not have choices. 'Unowned property' would be more correct.
(You nitpicking little pussy!)
-are you afraid of the transformation to total submission?"
Oh wait now, this cat is just getting started..
Further down the line, he says if you pass the first stage of qualification he has an "information packet" that is several pages and it's basically all he would want you to know about him. His major requirement for this qualification is that you be a "D5 or higher" submissive. (He explains what a D5 submissive is at the end of his profile.)
Can..Can you say Castle Realm? I knew you could. (Note, for those of you who don't know what Castle Realm is, it was a website that was supposed to be a "guide" to D/s and BDSM.. While there were some good articles on the site, most were chatroom bullshit.. The site ran from 1998-2008 before it was taken down.. There's a partial archive of that site on kinktoychest.. and hereeeeeeeee's the link for you.)
http://kinktoychest.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=63&Itemid=63
Anyway, this is what he says about said information packet..
"If you are interested in my household, I have a information packet (several pages) about me available for the asking. To get onto a personal level with me this is the required first step, you will not be taken seriously until you do. If you try to 'drill' me for information while 'chatting', you will prove to me that you can not follow instructions. The information packet comes with no obligation and is available to all submissive females."
Right, right... In other words, if you try to get to know him while chatting, you'll be disqualified.. Now, what was it this world class dipshit was saying about communication? Let me show you...
"A solid foundation of communication is required. There is straight forward clear communication here. This is a no bullshit zone."
It doesn't take a detective to see that the sort of communication he envisions is he gives you this "information packet" which you KNOW will be extremely polished and will not require him to think on his feet. The "communication" that's going to happen with this guy I can almost promise you will be one way, with you giving him all the information he wants, while you will not be allowed to ask for information in return.
Okay, he doesn't actually expect people to message him first as the tone of this profile may suggest. What he does, is send an "invitation" to someone.. He helpfully includes this invitation in the profile.
""Girl, I invite you to read my profile, from the time of you opening this invitation you will have 48 hrs to reply.
Sir""
He then shows you some of the replies he's gotten as a result of this invitation
.
""Not the best introduction I have seen....Don't like men who show up and start imposing guidelines before we even exchange emails. No thanks...and that only took 48 seconds"
"or else I'll block you? Don't be ridiculous. I'm the one you would have to convince and you know it. Have a nice day...and that is 24 hours"
"Really? Pardon me, but learn some manners. Just because I'm submissive doesn't mean I'm YOUR submissive, and you don't impress me.""
Well, i'll bet he's gotten some juicier responses than that. Think about it, you're a submissive and you get this sort of "invitation" in the mail, and are given a time limit to respond right out of the starting gate.. What are you thinking of someone so childish as to impose this on someone he doesn't yet know?
There were a couple of others, but you get the gist. Of course in his mind THEY are the clueless ones. He was actually posting this to show their stupidity at not recognizing the opportunity he offers.. No, he actually says that in his profile about the opportunity.
Ah, I could go on and on with this one, but i'll stop.. Oh yeah, the "D5 or higher" bit.. what could that possibly mean?
Well, here's how he defines it very near the bottom of this profile..
"Ok...so if you have read this far and you understand why this is written the way it is- then, in this Dom's judgment you are of a serious natured Submissive (D5 or higher) then is the next step is yours?"
In other words, if you read all this shit and are still there and are interested, you're what he considers D5 or higher..
And then he mercifully wraps up his profile with a little comment that the profile also exists on Alt.. and ends with that wondfully funny disclaimer about his privacy.
Hey, I honestly only scratched the surface on this one, if you find this profile and can stomach reading the whole thing, have at it.
I'm gonna give him props for something in the beginning of the profile, though. He does say that it will take you about 10 minutes to read the whole thing. So if anyone reads his profile and then thinks, "That's 10 minutes i'll never get back." Tough shit, you were warned... hehe.
That's it for now.. L8r Peepz.
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